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You know you're a Midlander when...
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"You had chocolate concrete at school, a scallop is mash in batter and you eat a bap instead of a roll. Oh, and you did school trips to the BCLM  "
Can we have a translation of "chocolate concrete" for us non-midlanders in the room? And don't me started on that "scallop"! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You had chocolate concrete at school, a scallop is mash in batter and you eat a bap instead of a roll. Oh, and you did school trips to the BCLM "
Ooooh chocolate concrete and pink custard  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You had chocolate concrete at school, a scallop is mash in batter and you eat a bap instead of a roll. Oh, and you did school trips to the BCLM
Can we have a translation of "chocolate concrete" for us non-midlanders in the room? And don't me started on that "scallop"! "
To be fair, I don't get the scallop thing either. Scallops are seafood  |
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Tbh I'm a bit of a mixture.
Born in that there London,lived the majority of my life in the south.
But also lived in
Lincolnshire close to the wash.
Solihull, well knowle actually old chap.
Newcastle for a short stint and a spell in the Shetland Islands proper northerner's.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You call a roundabout an "island".
You know what a pea mix is.
You're never quite sure whether dinner is lunch or tea.
You worship at the altar of Birds Bakery."
Absolutely agree with Birds! Only recently realised it was a Midlands thing and that others are missing out on the luxury that is a caramel doughnut |
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"You had chocolate concrete at school, a scallop is mash in batter and you eat a bap instead of a roll. Oh, and you did school trips to the BCLM
Can we have a translation of "chocolate concrete" for us non-midlanders in the room? And don't me started on that "scallop"!
To be fair, I don't get the scallop thing either. Scallops are seafood "
I get the scallops, although I remember them being more like a piece of potato in batter rather than mash |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You had chocolate concrete at school, a scallop is mash in batter and you eat a bap instead of a roll. Oh, and you did school trips to the BCLM
Can we have a translation of "chocolate concrete" for us non-midlanders in the room? And don't me started on that "scallop"!
To be fair, I don't get the scallop thing either. Scallops are seafood "
It’s basically mashed potato in a shape of a very flat round/oval/frilly thing, fried in batter. Fricking delicious |
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"You had chocolate concrete at school, a scallop is mash in batter and you eat a bap instead of a roll. Oh, and you did school trips to the BCLM
Ooooh chocolate concrete and pink custard "
We had mint custard |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You had chocolate concrete at school, a scallop is mash in batter and you eat a bap instead of a roll. Oh, and you did school trips to the BCLM
Can we have a translation of "chocolate concrete" for us non-midlanders in the room? And don't me started on that "scallop"!
To be fair, I don't get the scallop thing either. Scallops are seafood
I get the scallops, although I remember them being more like a piece of potato in batter rather than mash"
Ooh maybe, I’m going back quite a way |
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"You call a roundabout an "island".
You know what a pea mix is.
You're never quite sure whether dinner is lunch or tea.
You worship at the altar of Birds Bakery.
Absolutely agree with Birds! Only recently realised it was a Midlands thing and that others are missing out on the luxury that is a caramel doughnut"
Are you even a proper Midlander if you haven't done the Birds Christmas Eve Queue? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You had chocolate concrete at school, a scallop is mash in batter and you eat a bap instead of a roll. Oh, and you did school trips to the BCLM "
Noooo, a potato scallop is a slice of potato fried in batter. From the French escalloper meaning slice thinly |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You call a roundabout an "island".
You know what a pea mix is.
You're never quite sure whether dinner is lunch or tea.
You worship at the altar of Birds Bakery.
Absolutely agree with Birds! Only recently realised it was a Midlands thing and that others are missing out on the luxury that is a caramel doughnut
Are you even a proper Midlander if you haven't done the Birds Christmas Eve Queue?"
Never, because they would all be sold out of the good stuff by like 11am |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You had chocolate concrete at school, a scallop is mash in batter and you eat a bap instead of a roll. Oh, and you did school trips to the BCLM
Noooo, a potato scallop is a slice of potato fried in batter. From the French escalloper meaning slice thinly "
Yes, I am remembering it a bit wrong (was probably eating them pissed off the late bus on a Friday night ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You had chocolate concrete at school, a scallop is mash in batter and you eat a bap instead of a roll. Oh, and you did school trips to the BCLM
Noooo, a potato scallop is a slice of potato fried in batter. From the French escalloper meaning slice thinly
Yes, I am remembering it a bit wrong (was probably eating them pissed off the late bus on a Friday night )"
I've got scallop envy now ! |
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"You had chocolate concrete at school, a scallop is mash in batter and you eat a bap instead of a roll. Oh, and you did school trips to the BCLM
Can we have a translation of "chocolate concrete" for us non-midlanders in the room? And don't me started on that "scallop"!
To be fair, I don't get the scallop thing either. Scallops are seafood
I get the scallops, although I remember them being more like a piece of potato in batter rather than mash
Ooh maybe, I’m going back quite a way "
I didn't even realise scallops were a Midlands thing 
You forgot the orange/battered chips!
I've always said cob rather than bap though...
 K x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You had chocolate concrete at school, a scallop is mash in batter and you eat a bap instead of a roll. Oh, and you did school trips to the BCLM
Can we have a translation of "chocolate concrete" for us non-midlanders in the room? And don't me started on that "scallop"!
To be fair, I don't get the scallop thing either. Scallops are seafood
I get the scallops, although I remember them being more like a piece of potato in batter rather than mash
Ooh maybe, I’m going back quite a way
I didn't even realise scallops were a Midlands thing
You forgot the orange/battered chips!
I've always said cob rather than bap though...
K x"
The correct way  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You had chocolate concrete at school, a scallop is mash in batter and you eat a bap instead of a roll. Oh, and you did school trips to the BCLM
Can we have a translation of "chocolate concrete" for us non-midlanders in the room? And don't me started on that "scallop"! "
Chocolate concrete was a particular school dinner pudding, as I remember (and my memory is not proving great so far ) it was a chocolate cake, with sugar on top, usually accompanied by pink custard. |
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"You had chocolate concrete at school, a scallop is mash in batter and you eat a bap instead of a roll. Oh, and you did school trips to the BCLM
Ooooh chocolate concrete and pink custard "
I still dream of having chocolate concrete and pink custard again
C |
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"You had chocolate concrete at school, a scallop is mash in batter and you eat a bap instead of a roll. Oh, and you did school trips to the BCLM
Can we have a translation of "chocolate concrete" for us non-midlanders in the room? And don't me started on that "scallop"!
To be fair, I don't get the scallop thing either. Scallops are seafood
I get the scallops, although I remember them being more like a piece of potato in batter rather than mash"
A scallop is a solid potato filling and is the only legitimate form of battered potato from the chipshop bar orange chips.
However I've lived in other parts of the country where it all gets weird and out of hand with illegal deviation. The battered mash potato abomination described by OP sounds like a potato patty like what you might find in Hull and some other places where decency has mutated into madness. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You had chocolate concrete at school, a scallop is mash in batter and you eat a bap instead of a roll. Oh, and you did school trips to the BCLM
Can we have a translation of "chocolate concrete" for us non-midlanders in the room? And don't me started on that "scallop"!
To be fair, I don't get the scallop thing either. Scallops are seafood
I get the scallops, although I remember them being more like a piece of potato in batter rather than mash
A scallop is a solid potato filling and is the only legitimate form of battered potato from the chipshop bar orange chips.
However I've lived in other parts of the country where it all gets weird and out of hand with illegal deviation. The battered mash potato abomination described by OP sounds like a potato patty like what you might find in Hull and some other places where decency has mutated into madness."
It’s just my terrible memory .
I’m going to go and try one next time I’m there, and see |
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"Cobs are crusty
Baps are floury
Rolls are squidgy
Strange way to describe the different types of Batch.
Pfffttt "
Never heard a batch called a Pfffttt before. What a weird and diverse world we live |
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"You had chocolate concrete at school, a scallop is mash in batter and you eat a bap instead of a roll. Oh, and you did school trips to the BCLM
Can we have a translation of "chocolate concrete" for us non-midlanders in the room? And don't me started on that "scallop"!
Chocolate concrete was a particular school dinner pudding, as I remember (and my memory is not proving great so far ) it was a chocolate cake, with sugar on top, usually accompanied by pink custard. "
It was rock hard, and a rookie error if you deemed to attempt it with your spoon, having not presoaked it with your blancmange custard because you would send it flying across the table.
The knack was to soften it enough to get your spoon in while still keeping the crunch
C |
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"You had chocolate concrete at school, a scallop is mash in batter and you eat a bap instead of a roll. Oh, and you did school trips to the BCLM
Ooooh chocolate concrete and pink custard
We had mint custard"
Oh my. I'm sorry you had to ensure that. |
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"You had chocolate concrete at school, a scallop is mash in batter and you eat a bap instead of a roll. Oh, and you did school trips to the BCLM
Ooooh chocolate concrete and pink custard
We had mint custard
Oh my. I'm sorry you had to ensure that. "
*Endure!! |
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"You had chocolate concrete at school, a scallop is mash in batter and you eat a bap instead of a roll. Oh, and you did school trips to the BCLM
Ooooh chocolate concrete and pink custard
We had mint custard
Oh my. I'm sorry you had to ensure that.
*Endure!!"
We had far far worse to endure |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You can spend a large amount of time arguing over exactly which areas are in the Black Country.
Wolverhampton is incidentally  "
To be fair, it's all just Birmingham to me |
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32 years in Scotland now but the Midlands is still home. I still have tea rather than dinner, say ta ra a bit and bab.
This thread has reminded me about chocolate concrete and scallops though. Happy times.
Can't believe no one has mentioned curry sauce or pork scrathings though |
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"
Noooo, a potato scallop is a slice of potato fried in batter. From the French escalloper meaning slice thinly "
Having been bought up 14 miles north of Birmingham, this is what I used to buy at the chippie as a "scallop"! Not mashed, just sliced... |
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I am West Midlands and also on the Border so neither anywhere but everywhere 
