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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
So tomorrow I am supposed to be going to a local social.
I'm currently on excuse 27 to not go, from man flu to various other things the actual reason is my anxiety.
For the last day or so it has been building and I am at The point of saying fuck it stay home. I don't want to do it but the mind is a twat.
I have the tools to manage my anxiety and know that I'm just catastrophising worst case scenarios.
I need a decent nights sleep, something that is currently lacking.
I will be ok I know that.
Take care everyone x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Message the host before hand, ask them to give you bit of guidance or introduce you to some people. Good host should know that anyway and not just leave you to your own devices but no harm asking for little helping hand and friendly pat on the back in person.
Pop an outfit which makes you feel good, do the mirror prep talk and 5 deep breaths and run out of the house before you change your mind.
Not there to impress anyone - just to say hello and get chatting even if it's just to say what a stressful week it has been. Connect and enjoy. 
T
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Anxiety is fear of not knowing what's going to happen, not the other way round. It really is about mind over matter. Have a good night whatever you decide OP x |
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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago
Not all that North of North London |
Be honest. People either sympsthise or they don't, and if they don't you dodged a bullet.
Plus, people are surprisingly supportive and honesty could well get the response of an offer of help or support that makes yiu feel able to attend
Most importantly, I hope you feel less anxious tomorrow  |
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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago
Not all that North of North London |
"Anxiety is fear of not knowing what's going to happen, not the other way round. It really is about mind over matter. Have a good night whatever you decide OP x"
Anxiety, really, really isn't a case of mind over matter.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anxiety is fear of not knowing what's going to happen, not the other way round. It really is about mind over matter. Have a good night whatever you decide OP x
Anxiety, really, really isn't a case of mind over matter. "
I suffered with severe anxiety five years ago and although it took a long time, I got over it through re-training my brain and thinking about the good things that would happen if I did something or went somewhere new x |
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I know that feeling it's a mixture of anxiety and my confidence to meet anyone coz I've been let down sooo many times, tonight I asked someone to meet up for a social n he said I don't do socials ,my reply was you can't want to meet me that much then just a one off social |
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The scariest part will always be the build-up, the waiting.
Like a performer waiting backstage before a show, the nerves will be feeling insurmountable, you'll think of any excuse you can not to do it... but once you step on the stage and start doing your thing the nerves just melt away.
The social tomorrow is a show, the club is the stage and you're playing the role of you, and you'll steal the show because it's the role you were born to play
Good luck with tomorrow, break a leg |
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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
"Hope to see you there tomorrow ..x
I will be there if I say I'll show up I will, not one for doing a no-show
Did you sleep well?  Good luck.
"
About 5 hrs which is an improvement on zero the night before  |
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"So tomorrow I am supposed to be going to a local social.
I'm currently on excuse 27 to not go, from man flu to various other things the actual reason is my anxiety.
For the last day or so it has been building and I am at The point of saying fuck it stay home. I don't want to do it but the mind is a twat.
I have the tools to manage my anxiety and know that I'm just catastrophising worst case scenarios.
I need a decent nights sleep, something that is currently lacking.
I will be ok I know that.
Take care everyone x"
You recognise your challenge.
You know you can do it.
You know you'll feel great once it's done.
You know you'll enjoy it when you get there.
You got this!!!!!
Winston |
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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
"So tomorrow I am supposed to be going to a local social.
I'm currently on excuse 27 to not go, from man flu to various other things the actual reason is my anxiety.
For the last day or so it has been building and I am at The point of saying fuck it stay home. I don't want to do it but the mind is a twat.
I have the tools to manage my anxiety and know that I'm just catastrophising worst case scenarios.
I need a decent nights sleep, something that is currently lacking.
I will be ok I know that.
Take care everyone x
You recognise your challenge.
You know you can do it.
You know you'll feel great once it's done.
You know you'll enjoy it when you get there.
You got this!!!!!
Winston "
Thank you |
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"So tomorrow I am supposed to be going to a local social.
I'm currently on excuse 27 to not go, from man flu to various other things the actual reason is my anxiety.
For the last day or so it has been building and I am at The point of saying fuck it stay home. I don't want to do it but the mind is a twat.
I have the tools to manage my anxiety and know that I'm just catastrophising worst case scenarios.
I need a decent nights sleep, something that is currently lacking.
I will be ok I know that.
Take care everyone x"
How you doing today OP? |
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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
"So tomorrow I am supposed to be going to a local social.
I'm currently on excuse 27 to not go, from man flu to various other things the actual reason is my anxiety.
For the last day or so it has been building and I am at The point of saying fuck it stay home. I don't want to do it but the mind is a twat.
I have the tools to manage my anxiety and know that I'm just catastrophising worst case scenarios.
I need a decent nights sleep, something that is currently lacking.
I will be ok I know that.
Take care everyone x
How you doing today OP? "
I managed some sleep though still tired
Currently on brew 3 but still in bed
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hope to see you there tomorrow ..x
I will be there if I say I'll show up I will, not one for doing a no-show
Did you sleep well? Good luck.
About 5 hrs which is an improvement on zero the night before "
5 hours is loads!
You could do a speed social. Spend 3 minutes chatting to someone, then move on to the next.
I don't usually get to 3 minutes because their eyes glaze over before their time's up.   |
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"So tomorrow I am supposed to be going to a local social.
I'm currently on excuse 27 to not go, from man flu to various other things the actual reason is my anxiety.
For the last day or so it has been building and I am at The point of saying fuck it stay home. I don't want to do it but the mind is a twat.
I have the tools to manage my anxiety and know that I'm just catastrophising worst case scenarios.
I need a decent nights sleep, something that is currently lacking.
I will be ok I know that.
Take care everyone x
How you doing today OP?
I managed some sleep though still tired
Currently on brew 3 but still in bed
"
Up and at 'em soldier!
Have a good time at the social.
Winston |
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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
"Hope to see you there tomorrow ..x
I will be there if I say I'll show up I will, not one for doing a no-show
Did you sleep well? Good luck.
About 5 hrs which is an improvement on zero the night before
5 hours is loads!
You could do a speed social. Spend 3 minutes chatting to someone, then move on to the next.
I don't usually get to 3 minutes because their eyes glaze over before their time's up. "
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"So tomorrow I am supposed to be going to a local social.
I'm currently on excuse 27 to not go, from man flu to various other things the actual reason is my anxiety.
For the last day or so it has been building and I am at The point of saying fuck it stay home. I don't want to do it but the mind is a twat.
I have the tools to manage my anxiety and know that I'm just catastrophising worst case scenarios.
I need a decent nights sleep, something that is currently lacking.
I will be ok I know that.
Take care everyone x
How you doing today OP?
I managed some sleep though still tired
Currently on brew 3 but still in bed
"
My advice, fwiw, relax, get out of your head, have a nice time. Good luck. |
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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
"So tomorrow I am supposed to be going to a local social.
I'm currently on excuse 27 to not go, from man flu to various other things the actual reason is my anxiety.
For the last day or so it has been building and I am at The point of saying fuck it stay home. I don't want to do it but the mind is a twat.
I have the tools to manage my anxiety and know that I'm just catastrophising worst case scenarios.
I need a decent nights sleep, something that is currently lacking.
I will be ok I know that.
Take care everyone x
How you doing today OP?
I managed some sleep though still tired
Currently on brew 3 but still in bed
My advice, fwiw, relax, get out of your head, have a nice time. Good luck. "
thank you xx |
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"Don’t make an excuse, give your real reason if you can’t go. But I hope you feel you can."
I agree with this. No one likes a flake but when you tell people it's because of anxiety you get a two fold result- one the honesty is respected and 2. Nearly every one has suffered anxiety at some point and they are understanding. So they will do anything possible to help ease the anxiety.
Mr |
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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
"Don’t make an excuse, give your real reason if you can’t go. But I hope you feel you can.
I agree with this. No one likes a flake but when you tell people it's because of anxiety you get a two fold result- one the honesty is respected and 2. Nearly every one has suffered anxiety at some point and they are understanding. So they will do anything possible to help ease the anxiety.
Mr "
The excuses are just in my head, if I felt I could not go I would definitely tell the organisers the real reason, they are aware of my anxiety as well and have said they will personally introduce me to others
Right now the anxiety is well under control, I have done my morning meditaion |
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By *he.J.CCouple
over a year ago
Thetford |
J here.
This is a fair point fella. No laughing matter I'd anxiety.
The lady your meeting I'd bet is the same. Passing comment to simplify it; Harness it, grab your dick in your hand and do it! Don't even think about it
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I wish you all the best.
Most of us have been there, in one way or another, and I am the perfect example of what anxiety can do to you.
I can’t bring myself to meet anyone so you’re doing really well, hope it all goes smoothly for you. |
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"You know what you need to do for you… just relax and be yourself. You are always enough "
Love this. OP - I think it’s fair to say that about:
1) 10% of people on fab are knobheads. If you end up meeting anyone like that, stuff ‘em. They aren’t good enough for you.
2) 10% of people on fab are in the same boat and finding their way. They’re having new experiences like those first dates we all used to dread, but quickly realise we like each other and just chat about anything we have in common. By the end you’ll be laughing together and dying for that first kiss.
3) 80% of people on fab are the most interesting, wonderful, supportive, engaging, fabulous people who have probably experienced your emotions too. Whoever you’re meeting today is highly likely to fall into that category and will make you feel at ease. You come across in the forums as a really nice guy. I hope you have a fun time and make some new friends |
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"So tomorrow I am supposed to be going to a local social.
I'm currently on excuse 27 to not go, from man flu to various other things the actual reason is my anxiety.
For the last day or so it has been building and I am at The point of saying fuck it stay home. I don't want to do it but the mind is a twat.
I have the tools to manage my anxiety and know that I'm just catastrophising worst case scenarios.
I need a decent nights sleep, something that is currently lacking.
I will be ok I know that.
Take care everyone x"
Sorry to hear about your anxiety. It's debilitating at times. I'd just be open about it. People are finally starting to discuss emotional well being. Look... You've shared it with a bunch of strangers on here... So sharing it with another one won't be any harder. |
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It's completely understandable to feel anxious and vulnerable about these kinds of situations. Although I would say once you've been along to one once it makes every time easier and easier. There will be at least 4 other people feeling the same way as you and I'm sure your host will do everything they can to make you feel welcome and relaxed.
Bite the bullet and go! Why feel awful for the hours running up
everytime to change your mind and back out and have zero pay off for it. The horrible feeling would all be for nothing... JUST GO! |
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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
"It's completely understandable to feel anxious and vulnerable about these kinds of situations. Although I would say once you've been along to one once it makes every time easier and easier. There will be at least 4 other people feeling the same way as you and I'm sure your host will do everything they can to make you feel welcome and relaxed.
Bite the bullet and go! Why feel awful for the hours running up
everytime to change your mind and back out and have zero pay off for it. The horrible feeling would all be for nothing... JUST GO! "
I am going
even ironed my stuff ready lol |
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"It's completely understandable to feel anxious and vulnerable about these kinds of situations. Although I would say once you've been along to one once it makes every time easier and easier. There will be at least 4 other people feeling the same way as you and I'm sure your host will do everything they can to make you feel welcome and relaxed.
Bite the bullet and go! Why feel awful for the hours running up
everytime to change your mind and back out and have zero pay off for it. The horrible feeling would all be for nothing... JUST GO!
I am going
even ironed my stuff ready lol"
Yay!  Have an ace time!  |
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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
"I have a saying that if it sounds like an excuse, its an excuse.
Also know that people can and will see through excuses and it may affect how they view you going forwards."
As I said previously they are internal excuses, and that if I could not go it would be purely down to my anxiety and I would say that, |
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