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Rex’s bollocks barber shop
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Ladies job opportunity in the North West if you’re interested
I feel there’s a gap in the market for a bollocks barbershop so I’m therefore going to open one up in the North West.
It will do exactly what it says on the tin and work as a conventional barbershop does. Joe Bloggs can walk in off the street and get his nackers looking silky smooth. He could just get a trim if he’s that way inclined…..
So who would like a job? You’ll obviously be paid the minimum wage and maybe some additional extras 
PS you can keep the tips cause I’m a good boss 
Love and Peace  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What happens if you make a mistake? Will you get the sack?
I’ll run an apprenticeship program before I let them loose with some scissors and a razor "
Good plan. I wouldn't let any old scrote near them. |
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"What happens if you make a mistake? Will you get the sack?
I’ll run an apprenticeship program before I let them loose with some scissors and a razor
Good plan. I wouldn't let any old scrote near them."
You’re nuts  |
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By *rtyIanMan
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
"I am used to handling balls ... I have my own and am pretty good at using a razor/wax plus massage
I have my first employee. You start on Monday  "
Liberty Nut smoother and soother |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sounds lovely am I allowed to pay in kind for services rendered 
Are you offering to pay to shave someone’s nackers???  you’ll be skint in no time "
God no what I mean if I come in and get shaved can I pay the owner in kind ha ha |
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"Sounds lovely am I allowed to pay in kind for services rendered
Are you offering to pay to shave someone’s nackers??? you’ll be skint in no time
God no what I mean if I come in and get shaved can I pay the owner in kind ha ha "
I’ll let you shave my bollocks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sounds lovely am I allowed to pay in kind for services rendered
Are you offering to pay to shave someone’s nackers??? you’ll be skint in no time
God no what I mean if I come in and get shaved can I pay the owner in kind ha ha
I’ll let you shave my bollocks "
Wasn’t the paying in kind I was thinking
I was more thinking me over a table knickers down style paying in kind ha ha |
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Will whoever i meet be able to see their face in their new shininess? Even though they may look 100 years older with the wrinkles… I want a woman to say oooh todge your balls are so shiny I can see my grans face in them!!  |
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"Sounds lovely am I allowed to pay in kind for services rendered
Are you offering to pay to shave someone’s nackers??? you’ll be skint in no time
God no what I mean if I come in and get shaved can I pay the owner in kind ha ha
I’ll let you shave my bollocks
Wasn’t the paying in kind I was thinking
I was more thinking me over a table knickers down style paying in kind ha ha "
Make sure you get delux service then and get your bumhole done as well |
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"Will whoever i meet be able to see their face in their new shininess? Even though they may look 100 years older with the wrinkles… I want a woman to say oooh todge your balls are so shiny I can see my grans face in them!! "
It will be like that FaceApp that makes you look older |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sounds lovely am I allowed to pay in kind for services rendered
Are you offering to pay to shave someone’s nackers??? you’ll be skint in no time
God no what I mean if I come in and get shaved can I pay the owner in kind ha ha
I’ll let you shave my bollocks
Wasn’t the paying in kind I was thinking
I was more thinking me over a table knickers down style paying in kind ha ha
Make sure you get delux service then and get your bumhole done as well "
Ha ha |
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"Sounds like a load of bollocks.....
It could’ve been a lot worse to be fair
You will need a load of bollocks for the shop to survive....
The bumhole service may make it work...
I could’ve dropped a bollock here with this idea "
The bumhole service may help it survive.... |
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"I will get shaky hands, so i'm afraid i'm out as their nackers may get nicked, or nuked 
Fuck sake I don’t want my plums looking like a day old chick
Isn't that what they look like now? Anything i do will be an improvement, less furry "
They look like Clint Eastwood these days  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm nervously applying, I've very little experience & a nervous twitch..... but I've got tits should I need to apologise 
Mrs C
Tits you say? You start on Monday. Don’t be late "
Well that was simple enough, thanks boss  |
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"Sounds like a load of bollocks.....
It could’ve been a lot worse to be fair
You will need a load of bollocks for the shop to survive....
The bumhole service may make it work...
I’m hoping it keeps me ticking over the Christmas period
I could’ve dropped a bollock here with this idea
The bumhole service may help it survive...."
|
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"I'm nervously applying, I've very little experience & a nervous twitch..... but I've got tits should I need to apologise
Mrs C
Tits you say? You start on Monday. Don’t be late
Well that was simple enough, thanks boss "
Bring your own talc puffer with you |
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"I will get shaky hands, so i'm afraid i'm out as their nackers may get nicked, or nuked
Fuck sake I don’t want my plums looking like a day old chick
Isn't that what they look like now? Anything i do will be an improvement, less furry
They look like Clint Eastwood these days "
He's handsome, as i'm sure your nackers are |
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"I will get shaky hands, so i'm afraid i'm out as their nackers may get nicked, or nuked
Fuck sake I don’t want my plums looking like a day old chick
Isn't that what they look like now? Anything i do will be an improvement, less furry
They look like Clint Eastwood these days
He's handsome, as i'm sure your nackers are "
Not really. They’re growl at me when I go for a piss  |
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"I will get shaky hands, so i'm afraid i'm out as their nackers may get nicked, or nuked
Fuck sake I don’t want my plums looking like a day old chick
Isn't that what they look like now? Anything i do will be an improvement, less furry
They look like Clint Eastwood these days
He's handsome, as i'm sure your nackers are
Not really. They’re growl at me when I go for a piss "
Give them a little stroke then and they'll be purring |
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"I will get shaky hands, so i'm afraid i'm out as their nackers may get nicked, or nuked
Fuck sake I don’t want my plums looking like a day old chick
Isn't that what they look like now? Anything i do will be an improvement, less furry
They look like Clint Eastwood these days
He's handsome, as i'm sure your nackers are
Not really. They’re growl at me when I go for a piss
Give them a little stroke then and they'll be purring "
Ooofffttt, now we’re talking |
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"You need references?
If I get healthcare and company car then I’m totes applying !! "
You already have 2 references I see 
As for a company vehicle. You’ll get to ride the bosses chopper every week if your lucky  |
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"Yes I'm up for waxing bollocks
Will happily do arse cheeks as well, my name badge can read "no pain no gain"
Waxing!!!! but that’ll make my customers eyes water "
Yep I'll sit quietly in the corner until the masochists come in |
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"Yes I'm up for waxing bollocks
Will happily do arse cheeks as well, my name badge can read "no pain no gain"
Waxing!!!! but that’ll make my customers eyes water
Yep I'll sit quietly in the corner until the masochists come in "
Can we charge extra for this? |
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"I will get shaky hands, so i'm afraid i'm out as their nackers may get nicked, or nuked
Fuck sake I don’t want my plums looking like a day old chick
Isn't that what they look like now? Anything i do will be an improvement, less furry
They look like Clint Eastwood these days
He's handsome, as i'm sure your nackers are
Not really. They’re growl at me when I go for a piss
Give them a little stroke then and they'll be purring
Ooofffttt, now we’re talking "
Meeooww |
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"PS you can keep the tips cause I’m a good boss
Oooh, can I keep *all* the tips and make my own circumcision necklace?
I’ll give you my tip
For keeps?
No, you can have the first 7inches of it "
How generous. Who are you saving the other 6 inches for? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm a pro with the wax strips, does this help?
Why is everyone so obsessed with pain? I’m a friendly barber you know "
Doesn't hurt if you do it properly and hold the skin tight....... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you get crabs its a good thing as they tend to trim the s away my tip of the day
I’d offer a delicing service as well…… it’ll just be a pressure washer clean in the back yard "
just like baby goats |
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"PS you can keep the tips cause I’m a good boss
Oooh, can I keep *all* the tips and make my own circumcision necklace?
I’ll give you my tip
For keeps?
No, you can have the first 7inches of it
How generous. Who are you saving the other 6 inches for? "
The other hole |
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"I'm a pro with the wax strips, does this help?
Why is everyone so obsessed with pain? I’m a friendly barber you know
Doesn't hurt if you do it properly and hold the skin tight....... "
Have you seen some of the ball bags on here? Good luck with that |
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"If you get crabs its a good thing as they tend to trim the s away my tip of the day
I’d offer a delicing service as well…… it’ll just be a pressure washer clean in the back yard just like baby goats "
I’ve never jet washed a baby goat before |
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"Yes I'm up for waxing bollocks
Will happily do arse cheeks as well, my name badge can read "no pain no gain"
Waxing!!!! but that’ll make my customers eyes water
Yep I'll sit quietly in the corner until the masochists come in
Can we charge extra for this? "
|
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"Yes I'm up for waxing bollocks
Will happily do arse cheeks as well, my name badge can read "no pain no gain"
Waxing!!!! but that’ll make my customers eyes water
Yep I'll sit quietly in the corner until the masochists come in
Can we charge extra for this?
"
OK, I’m tentatively IN |
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"You need references?
If I get healthcare and company car then I’m totes applying !!
You already have 2 references I see
As for a company vehicle. You’ll get to ride the bosses chopper every week if your lucky "
I’d forgotten I’d applied for a new job
|
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"You need references?
If I get healthcare and company car then I’m totes applying !!
You already have 2 references I see
As for a company vehicle. You’ll get to ride the bosses chopper every week if your lucky
I’d forgotten I’d applied for a new job
"
My company’s ethos is ‘Be here now’ |
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"You need references?
If I get healthcare and company car then I’m totes applying !!
You already have 2 references I see
As for a company vehicle. You’ll get to ride the bosses chopper every week if your lucky
I’d forgotten I’d applied for a new job
My company’s ethos is ‘Be here now’ "
Looks like I’m facing a disciplinary already  |
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"You need references?
If I get healthcare and company car then I’m totes applying !!
You already have 2 references I see
As for a company vehicle. You’ll get to ride the bosses chopper every week if your lucky
I’d forgotten I’d applied for a new job
My company’s ethos is ‘Be here now’
Looks like I’m facing a disciplinary already "
Yes, I’ll discipline you |
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"Keeping up with the Cojones
We'll have less of the "keeping it up" when I'm down there with a cutthroat razor
You’ll be shaving manginas with one of those in your hand "
I have a steady hand *does Mrs Doyle impression* |
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"Keeping up with the Cojones
We'll have less of the "keeping it up" when I'm down there with a cutthroat razor
You’ll be shaving manginas with one of those in your hand
I have a steady hand *does Mrs Doyle impression* "
Even my bumhole shrunk thinking about that |
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"This is my dream job. I will include a lathering ball massage.
Can you bring some towels cause I’ve not bought them yet
I’ll blow dry them with my mouth
You start on Monday "
Yesssss!!!!! Do I get a uniform? |
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"This is my dream job. I will include a lathering ball massage.
Can you bring some towels cause I’ve not bought them yet
I’ll blow dry them with my mouth
You start on Monday
Yesssss!!!!! Do I get a uniform?"
Yes but it’s still got spunk stains on it from the last person who wore it |
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"This is my dream job. I will include a lathering ball massage.
Can you bring some towels cause I’ve not bought them yet
I’ll blow dry them with my mouth
You start on Monday
Yesssss!!!!! Do I get a uniform?
Yes but it’s still got spunk stains on it from the last person who wore it "
I demand a clean uniform! I know my employee rights! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
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"This is my dream job. I will include a lathering ball massage.
Can you bring some towels cause I’ve not bought them yet
I’ll blow dry them with my mouth
You start on Monday
Yesssss!!!!! Do I get a uniform?
Yes but it’s still got spunk stains on it from the last person who wore it
I demand a clean uniform! I know my employee rights!"
I’ve had a think and if you’re going to work in a bollocks barbers then it’s only right that the barber is bollocko. I believe you have that uniform |
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"This is my dream job. I will include a lathering ball massage.
Can you bring some towels cause I’ve not bought them yet
I’ll blow dry them with my mouth
You start on Monday
Yesssss!!!!! Do I get a uniform?
Yes but it’s still got spunk stains on it from the last person who wore it
I demand a clean uniform! I know my employee rights!
I’ve had a think and if you’re going to work in a bollocks barbers then it’s only right that the barber is bollocko. I believe you have that uniform "
I believed I have that uniform yes. Would you like that with or without hair? |
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"This is my dream job. I will include a lathering ball massage.
Can you bring some towels cause I’ve not bought them yet
I’ll blow dry them with my mouth
You start on Monday
Yesssss!!!!! Do I get a uniform?
Yes but it’s still got spunk stains on it from the last person who wore it
I demand a clean uniform! I know my employee rights!
I’ve had a think and if you’re going to work in a bollocks barbers then it’s only right that the barber is bollocko. I believe you have that uniform
I believed I have that uniform yes. Would you like that with or without hair? "
It’s only right that we practice what we preach at our barbers |
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"I am used to handling balls ... I have my own and am pretty good at using a razor/wax plus massage
I have my first employee. You start on Monday
Liberty Nut smoother and soother"
I have handled shall we say a large pool of mens nuts over the years . so think I am very qualified for the job |
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