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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
difficult/awkward conversation.
How comfortable are you in doing so? Are you more an avoidant sort or do you find it quite easy to do so and would rather rip the plaster off and get it done?
Would you rather people directly spoke to you or do you prefer a gentler approach? |
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By *red333Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"difficult/awkward conversation.
How comfortable are you in doing so? Are you more an avoidant sort or do you find it quite easy to do so and would rather rip the plaster off and get it done?
Would you rather people directly spoke to you or do you prefer a gentler approach? "
why are you having a difficult / awkward conversation? I can't imagine that situation for myself  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"difficult/awkward conversation.
How comfortable are you in doing so? Are you more an avoidant sort or do you find it quite easy to do so and would rather rip the plaster off and get it done?
Would you rather people directly spoke to you or do you prefer a gentler approach? "
Having a conversation with an arrogant, obnoxious, pompous, self centered ,passive aggressive,selfish , narrcastic person is not good for you in any way , best avoided at all costs ..however a conversation with a person with an open and respectful mind and attitude is so refreshing...you'd know after a few minutes which is which. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends on the person and circumstances. Too direct can be crushing for some people or at some times. Whatever your approach I would say don't put off an uncomfortable conversation. It's always best to have it asap in my experience. |
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I like gentle ones with those who's opinions etc I respect and care about.
I find I get on edge and try to people please instead of thinking things through properly if the plaster gets ripped off unexpectedly.
With those I may not know very well I'm much better and find it easier to stick to boundaries, not get swayed etc as there's no emotional investment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find it difficult and if I can avoid them, I do. I was always brought up as a good girl, to do the right thing, a ‘kindness is the only road’ type.
But I can and will stand up for myself and others, when I’m compelled to, which can come as a surprise  |
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I go for the skirt around the subject sort of approach in my personal life. I’m not blunt, I like to think I’m being considerate and tactful.
9-5 is my alter ego  sagacious with side order of bolshy |
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"difficult/awkward conversation.
How comfortable are you in doing so? Are you more an avoidant sort or do you find it quite easy to do so and would rather rip the plaster off and get it done?
Would you rather people directly spoke to you or do you prefer a gentler approach? "
I used to be awkward but I can say as it is in a nice say. Shit sandwich if you know what that is |
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I think you can be straight and forthright but still be empathetic to them and/or the situation. People being blunt and harsh thinking they are somehow strong and superior in doing so are quite often emotionally un intelligent |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm an open person, very open. So it's not something I find too difficult. Can it be uncomfortable? Yes. But if it's playing on my mind or it needs to be said, I'll say it. I can't sit on things. I like to think I'm gentle and it is done with tact.
But it does depend on circumstances too. If I'm saying it, are we just going around in circles about something we have already discussed? Have they been disrespectful enough that they don't deserve my time or words? Will my words even have an effect? You've got to take all that into consideration too.
But generally, yes I'm pretty good at having a difficult and honest conversation. |
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I prefer to be direct but it can be difficult if the other person is not open to it also. I've known people get very defensive.
Best not to dwell on it, try find a good approach bring up the subject. |
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"difficult/awkward conversation.
How comfortable are you in doing so? Are you more an avoidant sort or do you find it quite easy to do so and would rather rip the plaster off and get it done?
Would you rather people directly spoke to you or do you prefer a gentler approach? "
I’m more get it done so would probably say prefer the same back  |
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I hate to think I’m hurting someone’s feelings it plays on my mind and makes me feel like shit.
I know sometimes we have to have these difficult conversations but I sometimes tend to let my husband have them if possible . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm direct and I don't sugar-coat it
At work if I have to have a difficult conversation with someone I'll be factual, I often don't point out the issue straight away but ask their viewpoint on it ask them to reason their thoughts then I tell them what I think and what should happen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No I hate it and are not very good at it in person. I am much more considered over email or text as I can remember everything I wanted to say keep emotion out of it and be forceful if needed. |
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I will always want to talk…it plays on my mind if there’s something on there and I would rather get it out in the open.
Me and C always deal with things immediately and I think it’s healthier that way…
My dad on the other hand won’t talk about anything…brush that under the carpet…there’s an elephant in the room and under the carpet now
K |
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I'll want to communicate difficult things even if I don't want to talk.
I sometimes find it intimidating to speak face to face as I can get irrationally scared so will write a letter or massive text and then have an online chat from there. I don't think it matters how conversations occur as long as they do. |
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Always direct, and I much prefer it if other people are equally as direct with me. If someone is trying to say something in a wishy-washy ambiguous way I'll just keep asking questions until I'm certain about what they mean, it's much easier to skip all that faff and just say it. |
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"difficult/awkward conversation.
How comfortable are you in doing so? Are you more an avoidant sort or do you find it quite easy to do so and would rather rip the plaster off and get it done?
Would you rather people directly spoke to you or do you prefer a gentler approach? "
Nothing difficult or awkward.
If you want to have sex with me just ask |
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I prefer people to be direct with me. Don't bitch in the background and don't try and talk around the edges. Just be honest and fair. I take that approach with my team at work (honest & fair) and with my kids, family etc. |
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Hate it. I've ended up in multiple-year relationships with someone I thought was a one-night stand,through not being able to hurt someone.
I'm much better now, because that kind of pain-avoidance causes more pain in the end. But it still makes me feel sick. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i have learnt that direct, honest conversations reap rewards... So i try to force myself to tackle the bull by the horns
Although apparently i have the subtlety of a brick through the front window  |
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It depends on the context, contents and the situation. Professionally I’ll be as direct and as blunt as possible, and hope the same in return. Personally, I’ll try the opposite unless it can’t be avoided. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"i have learnt that direct, honest conversations reap rewards... So i try to force myself to tackle the bull by the horns
Although apparently i have the subtlety of a brick through the front window "
Ha yes! I suffer from this. I try and be more direct generally and speak up but my subtlety is somewhat missing. All the time. Alllll of it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i have learnt that direct, honest conversations reap rewards... So i try to force myself to tackle the bull by the horns
Although apparently i have the subtlety of a brick through the front window
Ha yes! I suffer from this. I try and be more direct generally and speak up but my subtlety is somewhat missing. All the time. Alllll of it."
Find a sub to practice with |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"i have learnt that direct, honest conversations reap rewards... So i try to force myself to tackle the bull by the horns
Although apparently i have the subtlety of a brick through the front window
Ha yes! I suffer from this. I try and be more direct generally and speak up but my subtlety is somewhat missing. All the time. Alllll of it.
Find a sub to practice with "
Ha, why a sub in particular? I don't think that will help.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I HATE passionately when people don't speak up about whatever is bothering them. I may not agree but that awkward tension 'i get the feeling you don't like me or I've pissed you off' and not discussing it like adults really gets under my good times skin! |
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"I HATE passionately when people don't speak up about whatever is bothering them. I may not agree but that awkward tension 'i get the feeling you don't like me or I've pissed you off' and not discussing it like adults really gets under my good times skin!"
I've got a colleague at work who has horrific body odour. Like, it makes me gag.
I've already had one quick chat with her about it, it hasn't changed. She fucking stinks. It's a combination of body odour and an abundance of aftershave to try to mask it. It doesn't help and just grabs you by the throat. I can tell its because she's not showering often and not washing her clothes after each wear.
I don't feel like I can tell her again because now it just makes me really mad coz I'm sick of how unwell it makes me feel, my nostrils are offended constantly. I know if I say anything it won't leave my mouth with compassion, it'll leave my mouth with anger and that's not fair. I don't want to embarass or hurt her feelings. There's no way she doesn't know she honks like bin juice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You’d love to have a difficult conversation with me. I’m absurd and it’s always light hearted. There’s humour in life and nothing is as serious or as ‘difficult’ as it seems.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I HATE passionately when people don't speak up about whatever is bothering them. I may not agree but that awkward tension 'i get the feeling you don't like me or I've pissed you off' and not discussing it like adults really gets under my good times skin!
I've got a colleague at work who has horrific body odour. Like, it makes me gag.
I've already had one quick chat with her about it, it hasn't changed. She fucking stinks. It's a combination of body odour and an abundance of aftershave to try to mask it. It doesn't help and just grabs you by the throat. I can tell its because she's not showering often and not washing her clothes after each wear.
I don't feel like I can tell her again because now it just makes me really mad coz I'm sick of how unwell it makes me feel, my nostrils are offended constantly. I know if I say anything it won't leave my mouth with compassion, it'll leave my mouth with anger and that's not fair. I don't want to embarass or hurt her feelings. There's no way she doesn't know she honks like bin juice."
Think shes on that dayuse app on lunch breaks? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I HATE passionately when people don't speak up about whatever is bothering them. I may not agree but that awkward tension 'i get the feeling you don't like me or I've pissed you off' and not discussing it like adults really gets under my good times skin!
I've got a colleague at work who has horrific body odour. Like, it makes me gag.
I've already had one quick chat with her about it, it hasn't changed. She fucking stinks. It's a combination of body odour and an abundance of aftershave to try to mask it. It doesn't help and just grabs you by the throat. I can tell its because she's not showering often and not washing her clothes after each wear.
I don't feel like I can tell her again because now it just makes me really mad coz I'm sick of how unwell it makes me feel, my nostrils are offended constantly. I know if I say anything it won't leave my mouth with compassion, it'll leave my mouth with anger and that's not fair. I don't want to embarass or hurt her feelings. There's no way she doesn't know she honks like bin juice."
Wow I mean that's a very specific, bizarre and unfortunate situ you're dealing with there!
Surely some of your colleagues/manager has noticed? I would probably speak to the boss and ask if I can move or something personally because that would bother me alot |
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"I HATE passionately when people don't speak up about whatever is bothering them. I may not agree but that awkward tension 'i get the feeling you don't like me or I've pissed you off' and not discussing it like adults really gets under my good times skin!
I've got a colleague at work who has horrific body odour. Like, it makes me gag.
I've already had one quick chat with her about it, it hasn't changed. She fucking stinks. It's a combination of body odour and an abundance of aftershave to try to mask it. It doesn't help and just grabs you by the throat. I can tell its because she's not showering often and not washing her clothes after each wear.
I don't feel like I can tell her again because now it just makes me really mad coz I'm sick of how unwell it makes me feel, my nostrils are offended constantly. I know if I say anything it won't leave my mouth with compassion, it'll leave my mouth with anger and that's not fair. I don't want to embarass or hurt her feelings. There's no way she doesn't know she honks like bin juice.
Think shes on that dayuse app on lunch breaks?"
I don't know what that is?
It doesn't matter what time her shift starts, she stinks. For all I know tho she could have a medical condition. She definitely doesn't wash enough regardless. |
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"I HATE passionately when people don't speak up about whatever is bothering them. I may not agree but that awkward tension 'i get the feeling you don't like me or I've pissed you off' and not discussing it like adults really gets under my good times skin!
I've got a colleague at work who has horrific body odour. Like, it makes me gag.
I've already had one quick chat with her about it, it hasn't changed. She fucking stinks. It's a combination of body odour and an abundance of aftershave to try to mask it. It doesn't help and just grabs you by the throat. I can tell its because she's not showering often and not washing her clothes after each wear.
I don't feel like I can tell her again because now it just makes me really mad coz I'm sick of how unwell it makes me feel, my nostrils are offended constantly. I know if I say anything it won't leave my mouth with compassion, it'll leave my mouth with anger and that's not fair. I don't want to embarass or hurt her feelings. There's no way she doesn't know she honks like bin juice.
Wow I mean that's a very specific, bizarre and unfortunate situ you're dealing with there!
Surely some of your colleagues/manager has noticed? I would probably speak to the boss and ask if I can move or something personally because that would bother me alot"
Everybody knows about it. Everyone can smell it.
We've had customers complain about the strange musky smell.
The other day I didn't even know she was working, but I smelt her before I saw her.
Its really really bad.
They've stopped her serving people at tables because of the smell and she only works on the bar now, but that's great for her coz she's lazy too and that's the easiest job. Not so great for us that need to go to the bar to make drinks for our tables. I literally hold my breath as long as I can. |
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"I HATE passionately when people don't speak up about whatever is bothering them. I may not agree but that awkward tension 'i get the feeling you don't like me or I've pissed you off' and not discussing it like adults really gets under my good times skin!
I've got a colleague at work who has horrific body odour. Like, it makes me gag.
I've already had one quick chat with her about it, it hasn't changed. She fucking stinks. It's a combination of body odour and an abundance of aftershave to try to mask it. It doesn't help and just grabs you by the throat. I can tell its because she's not showering often and not washing her clothes after each wear.
I don't feel like I can tell her again because now it just makes me really mad coz I'm sick of how unwell it makes me feel, my nostrils are offended constantly. I know if I say anything it won't leave my mouth with compassion, it'll leave my mouth with anger and that's not fair. I don't want to embarass or hurt her feelings. There's no way she doesn't know she honks like bin juice.
Wow I mean that's a very specific, bizarre and unfortunate situ you're dealing with there!
Surely some of your colleagues/manager has noticed? I would probably speak to the boss and ask if I can move or something personally because that would bother me alot
Everybody knows about it. Everyone can smell it.
We've had customers complain about the strange musky smell.
The other day I didn't even know she was working, but I smelt her before I saw her.
Its really really bad.
They've stopped her serving people at tables because of the smell and she only works on the bar now, but that's great for her coz she's lazy too and that's the easiest job. Not so great for us that need to go to the bar to make drinks for our tables. I literally hold my breath as long as I can."
And I need to add its making me angry at myself too, coz I don't want to dislike her in the slightest, but I'm finding myself starting to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I HATE passionately when people don't speak up about whatever is bothering them. I may not agree but that awkward tension 'i get the feeling you don't like me or I've pissed you off' and not discussing it like adults really gets under my good times skin!
I've got a colleague at work who has horrific body odour. Like, it makes me gag.
I've already had one quick chat with her about it, it hasn't changed. She fucking stinks. It's a combination of body odour and an abundance of aftershave to try to mask it. It doesn't help and just grabs you by the throat. I can tell its because she's not showering often and not washing her clothes after each wear.
I don't feel like I can tell her again because now it just makes me really mad coz I'm sick of how unwell it makes me feel, my nostrils are offended constantly. I know if I say anything it won't leave my mouth with compassion, it'll leave my mouth with anger and that's not fair. I don't want to embarass or hurt her feelings. There's no way she doesn't know she honks like bin juice.
Wow I mean that's a very specific, bizarre and unfortunate situ you're dealing with there!
Surely some of your colleagues/manager has noticed? I would probably speak to the boss and ask if I can move or something personally because that would bother me alot
Everybody knows about it. Everyone can smell it.
We've had customers complain about the strange musky smell.
The other day I didn't even know she was working, but I smelt her before I saw her.
Its really really bad.
They've stopped her serving people at tables because of the smell and she only works on the bar now, but that's great for her coz she's lazy too and that's the easiest job. Not so great for us that need to go to the bar to make drinks for our tables. I literally hold my breath as long as I can."
Christ. I take it she doesn't have a partner or any regular fun right? |
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"I HATE passionately when people don't speak up about whatever is bothering them. I may not agree but that awkward tension 'i get the feeling you don't like me or I've pissed you off' and not discussing it like adults really gets under my good times skin!
I've got a colleague at work who has horrific body odour. Like, it makes me gag.
I've already had one quick chat with her about it, it hasn't changed. She fucking stinks. It's a combination of body odour and an abundance of aftershave to try to mask it. It doesn't help and just grabs you by the throat. I can tell its because she's not showering often and not washing her clothes after each wear.
I don't feel like I can tell her again because now it just makes me really mad coz I'm sick of how unwell it makes me feel, my nostrils are offended constantly. I know if I say anything it won't leave my mouth with compassion, it'll leave my mouth with anger and that's not fair. I don't want to embarass or hurt her feelings. There's no way she doesn't know she honks like bin juice.
Wow I mean that's a very specific, bizarre and unfortunate situ you're dealing with there!
Surely some of your colleagues/manager has noticed? I would probably speak to the boss and ask if I can move or something personally because that would bother me alot
Everybody knows about it. Everyone can smell it.
We've had customers complain about the strange musky smell.
The other day I didn't even know she was working, but I smelt her before I saw her.
Its really really bad.
They've stopped her serving people at tables because of the smell and she only works on the bar now, but that's great for her coz she's lazy too and that's the easiest job. Not so great for us that need to go to the bar to make drinks for our tables. I literally hold my breath as long as I can.
Christ. I take it she doesn't have a partner or any regular fun right?"
She sure does. She's married.
I can't tell you how close I come to puking and I do feel like a right cunt for getting angry about it.
Quite truthfully, if I was a customer I couldn't eat there with her wandering round coz it lingers and you know where she's been without seeing where she's been. |
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Straight john bull all the way
Known for my bluntness - from MPs to bullies from anyone attempting to "dis" my family or, God forbid, child to HS2 lying low down snake rep. He doesn't like me, can't say as I'm overfond of him! |
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"
And I need to add its making me angry at myself too, coz I don't want to dislike her in the slightest, but I'm finding myself starting to. "
I don't believe you should in any way be angry with yourself, you have attempted to talk to her about the issue, complaints have been made by other staff and customers yet management have done little to nothing about it, so if anything, I'd be angry with the management, personal hygiene is important, even more so when working with food and drink, on top of that, no one should be made to feel uncomfortable at work, which you and others clearly are, so management should be doing more to resolve the issue in a respectable manner where they talk with the employee, there may be problems at home or in her personal life that's affecting her cleanliness |
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