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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I’m finding it hard to navigate this topic with people I meet outside of fab. Average Joe seems quite often put off by a sexual woman. It’s driving me nuts. Yes I want all the cute things, but what about dirty sex ffs… I want that too. But when I say I want someone to do something, or do something again, I seem met with resistance of “I don’t want to because you’ve expressed the wish/asked/whatever”. Or the other thing is when people act like it makes you shallow in some way? What are others perspectives on this because I’m obviously missing something on my end lol
Is this making sense to anyone and if so, how do others broach the topic? |
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No your not missing anything, my last relationship was made complicated as my then partner struggled with me wanting to have sex and explore each other sexually  So when I ended things I came back onto here and I am totally avoiding dating and relationships  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People think that’s all you want in a relationship when i bring up the subject of sex … like nobody else does it or enjoys it?! 
It’s not ALL that I want, but it’s a big part of what makes a relationship all groovy and all that. So I get heat ya’ op.  |
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By *rettyflamingoWoman
over a year ago
Where the flamboyance of flamingos live |
I am on a couple of other dating sites and on the first meeting have been totally upfront and honest about my lifestyle. Some men have found it a huge turn on while others have run for the hills. I’m in the early stages of dating someone and although he says he is open minded I’m still not sure if he actually is.
I want a relationship with someone but also have the cherry on the top of us both enjoying a swinging lifestyle. Is that possible I wonder ?
Good luck some men find it very intimidating |
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"I am on a couple of other dating sites and on the first meeting have been totally upfront and honest about my lifestyle. Some men have found it a huge turn on while others have run for the hills. I’m in the early stages of dating someone and although he says he is open minded I’m still not sure if he actually is.
I want a relationship with someone but also have the cherry on the top of us both enjoying a swinging lifestyle. Is that possible I wonder ?
Good luck some men find it very intimidating "
Let's face it, most of us have been on dating sites the same time as being on here  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am on a couple of other dating sites and on the first meeting have been totally upfront and honest about my lifestyle. Some men have found it a huge turn on while others have run for the hills. I’m in the early stages of dating someone and although he says he is open minded I’m still not sure if he actually is.
I want a relationship with someone but also have the cherry on the top of us both enjoying a swinging lifestyle. Is that possible I wonder ?
Good luck some men find it very intimidating "
Way to go! I rather have no dates than dating someone that might not understand my needs, both sexual and emotional |
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"I am on a couple of other dating sites and on the first meeting have been totally upfront and honest about my lifestyle. Some men have found it a huge turn on while others have run for the hills. I’m in the early stages of dating someone and although he says he is open minded I’m still not sure if he actually is.
I want a relationship with someone but also have the cherry on the top of us both enjoying a swinging lifestyle. Is that possible I wonder ?
Good luck some men find it very intimidating "
Its nothing to do with intimidating. Its just in general, men only want to date women with a low body count behind them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me there's a distinct difference. If I'm seeing/dating someone in the outside world well then I sign off of here. Not put off by women who are into this lifestyle but that's a 2 way street them and I wouldn't date them with a view to forming a lasting relationship. |
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By *rettyflamingoWoman
over a year ago
Where the flamboyance of flamingos live |
"I am on a couple of other dating sites and on the first meeting have been totally upfront and honest about my lifestyle. Some men have found it a huge turn on while others have run for the hills. I’m in the early stages of dating someone and although he says he is open minded I’m still not sure if he actually is.
I want a relationship with someone but also have the cherry on the top of us both enjoying a swinging lifestyle. Is that possible I wonder ?
Good luck some men find it very intimidating
Its nothing to do with intimidating. Its just in general, men only want to date women with a low body count behind them. "
But why ? Is that because of their insecurities? |
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"I am on a couple of other dating sites and on the first meeting have been totally upfront and honest about my lifestyle. Some men have found it a huge turn on while others have run for the hills. I’m in the early stages of dating someone and although he says he is open minded I’m still not sure if he actually is.
I want a relationship with someone but also have the cherry on the top of us both enjoying a swinging lifestyle. Is that possible I wonder ?
Good luck some men find it very intimidating
Its nothing to do with intimidating. Its just in general, men only want to date women with a low body count behind them.
But why ? Is that because of their insecurities? "
Never been particularly worried about 'body count' myself, but I'm a fossil. Maybe younger guys feel differently these days |
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"I am on a couple of other dating sites and on the first meeting have been totally upfront and honest about my lifestyle. Some men have found it a huge turn on while others have run for the hills. I’m in the early stages of dating someone and although he says he is open minded I’m still not sure if he actually is.
I want a relationship with someone but also have the cherry on the top of us both enjoying a swinging lifestyle. Is that possible I wonder ?
Good luck some men find it very intimidating
Its nothing to do with intimidating. Its just in general, men only want to date women with a low body count behind them.
But why ? Is that because of their insecurities? "
Nope, well i can only speak for myself, men generally dont find women who have had lots of sexual partners attractive for a relationship |
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By *rettyflamingoWoman
over a year ago
Where the flamboyance of flamingos live |
"I am on a couple of other dating sites and on the first meeting have been totally upfront and honest about my lifestyle. Some men have found it a huge turn on while others have run for the hills. I’m in the early stages of dating someone and although he says he is open minded I’m still not sure if he actually is.
I want a relationship with someone but also have the cherry on the top of us both enjoying a swinging lifestyle. Is that possible I wonder ?
Good luck some men find it very intimidating
Its nothing to do with intimidating. Its just in general, men only want to date women with a low body count behind them.
But why ? Is that because of their insecurities?
Never been particularly worried about 'body count' myself, but I'm a fossil. Maybe younger guys feel differently these days "
Your younger than me or so your profile says x |
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By *issMBWoman
over a year ago
North |
Yes I've encountered that too. I'm ethically non-monogamous and ideally would want a partner to be the same - only one relationship but each of us free to enjoy sex with other people (either separately or meeting other people together as a couple) BUT only if both are open and honest about it. If the honesty isn't there that's a problem for me. I like hearing the details anyway, love the idea of sending a partner off to enjoy sex with someone else then telling me all about it when they get home... its very difficult to find that with someone though. |
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"I am on a couple of other dating sites and on the first meeting have been totally upfront and honest about my lifestyle. Some men have found it a huge turn on while others have run for the hills. I’m in the early stages of dating someone and although he says he is open minded I’m still not sure if he actually is.
I want a relationship with someone but also have the cherry on the top of us both enjoying a swinging lifestyle. Is that possible I wonder ?
Good luck some men find it very intimidating
Its nothing to do with intimidating. Its just in general, men only want to date women with a low body count behind them.
But why ? Is that because of their insecurities?
Never been particularly worried about 'body count' myself, but I'm a fossil. Maybe younger guys feel differently these days
Your younger than me or so your profile says x"
Only by a smidgen, and you look younger, and more attractive than me
Go for it lovely! |
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I don’t think you’re the first woman to find just how fragile some blokes’ ego really is.
Confident, sex-positive and not ashamed to be vocal about it? Ooh, scary.
Good luck in your search, I agree that it really shouldn’t be so difficult |
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By *rettyflamingoWoman
over a year ago
Where the flamboyance of flamingos live |
"I am on a couple of other dating sites and on the first meeting have been totally upfront and honest about my lifestyle. Some men have found it a huge turn on while others have run for the hills. I’m in the early stages of dating someone and although he says he is open minded I’m still not sure if he actually is.
I want a relationship with someone but also have the cherry on the top of us both enjoying a swinging lifestyle. Is that possible I wonder ?
Good luck some men find it very intimidating
Its nothing to do with intimidating. Its just in general, men only want to date women with a low body count behind them.
But why ? Is that because of their insecurities?
Nope, well i can only speak for myself, men generally dont find women who have had lots of sexual partners attractive for a relationship "
But men can have as many partners as they like, such double standards about this still in our modern society |
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By *rtyIanMan
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
"I am on a couple of other dating sites and on the first meeting have been totally upfront and honest about my lifestyle. Some men have found it a huge turn on while others have run for the hills. I’m in the early stages of dating someone and although he says he is open minded I’m still not sure if he actually is.
I want a relationship with someone but also have the cherry on the top of us both enjoying a swinging lifestyle. Is that possible I wonder ?
Good luck some men find it very intimidating
Its nothing to do with intimidating. Its just in general, men only want to date women with a low body count behind them.
But why ? Is that because of their insecurities?
Nope, well i can only speak for myself, men generally dont find women who have had lots of sexual partners attractive for a relationship
But men can have as many partners as they like, such double standards about this still in our modern society "
Not all men |
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"I am on a couple of other dating sites and on the first meeting have been totally upfront and honest about my lifestyle. Some men have found it a huge turn on while others have run for the hills. I’m in the early stages of dating someone and although he says he is open minded I’m still not sure if he actually is.
I want a relationship with someone but also have the cherry on the top of us both enjoying a swinging lifestyle. Is that possible I wonder ?
Good luck some men find it very intimidating
Its nothing to do with intimidating. Its just in general, men only want to date women with a low body count behind them.
But why ? Is that because of their insecurities?
Nope, well i can only speak for myself, men generally dont find women who have had lots of sexual partners attractive for a relationship
But men can have as many partners as they like, such double standards about this still in our modern society "
Theres no double standard. A woman is free to find that distasteful in a man as well if she likes.
No double standard |
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By *rtyIanMan
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
"I am on a couple of other dating sites and on the first meeting have been totally upfront and honest about my lifestyle. Some men have found it a huge turn on while others have run for the hills. I’m in the early stages of dating someone and although he says he is open minded I’m still not sure if he actually is.
I want a relationship with someone but also have the cherry on the top of us both enjoying a swinging lifestyle. Is that possible I wonder ?
Good luck some men find it very intimidating "
Some encourage it |
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"Yes I've encountered that too. I'm ethically non-monogamous and ideally would want a partner to be the same - only one relationship but each of us free to enjoy sex with other people (either separately or meeting other people together as a couple) BUT only if both are open and honest about it. If the honesty isn't there that's a problem for me. I like hearing the details anyway, love the idea of sending a partner off to enjoy sex with someone else then telling me all about it when they get home... its very difficult to find that with someone though."
I’m very upfront with any new sexual partners/ FWBs/ etc that i practise ENM, and that this is something they need to be fully okay with if things are to work.
Some will respond with calling you a “fuckboi” or some variant, which is hilarious given that i’m being open and communicative. Not everyone understands or accepts it. I just focus on those that do  |
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