FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Distance growing?
Distance growing?
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By *ullish OP Man
over a year ago
Liverpool |
Just a general observation between men an woman. This scene / site seems to enhance it.
The ratio between men and women on here is clear to see. Women have the monopoly on here in my observations and men seem to need to pester women for possible attention.
I wonder how this plays out overall? Are more men seeking single life, trying to fill a sexual void. Are just as many single women just not needing to fill that sexual void? Are relationships becoming a thing of that past? It seems men and women are growing further and further apart in terms of wants, needs and understanding.
Not sure lol |
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Regardless of the male to female ratio on here, there’s no one group that has a “monopoly” on attention. Do members of the group in abuundance have to work harder to stand out from the crowd? Sure. |
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By *ullish OP Man
over a year ago
Liverpool |
To be fair what I witness on here as 4 main requirements from women on here are;
Hung
Gym fit
Black
Women
You are at least 2 out of a possible 3 of them (not taking into account how you identify lol) so your experience may differ to a lot of other men on here. However one of the points I'm making definitely has to do with ratio's and the possible impacts that has between me and women |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"To be fair what I witness on here as 4 main requirements from women on here are;
Hung
Gym fit
Black
Women
You are at least 2 out of a possible 3 of them (not taking into account how you identify lol) so your experience may differ to a lot of other men on here. However one of the points I'm making definitely has to do with ratio's and the possible impacts that has between me and women"
i am none of these things but if i put even 5% effort into finding time and getting off my arse id get almost anything i wanted |
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"To be fair what I witness on here as 4 main requirements from women on here are;
Hung
Gym fit
Black
Women
You are at least 2 out of a possible 3 of them (not taking into account how you identify lol) so your experience may differ to a lot of other men on here. However one of the points I'm making definitely has to do with ratio's and the possible impacts that has between me and women"
I am definitely looking for a hung, gym fit, black woman   |
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What I witness is that attitude plays a major role in who women meet, way above looks in most cases. In recent years I've declined meets with two of what to me are the most attractive men I've ever seen, purely because I didn't like their attitudes towards meets and this lifestyle in general.
Personally, I've never appreciated feeling like I'm a sex toy to be used for someone elses pleasure. And I like to know that my personal safety is as important to whoever I met as it is to me. Plus, I don't know any women who respond well to "pestering".
All the difference in numbers has ever meant to me is that I've had more profiles to look through to find the people that I wanted to meet, but they'd be the same people regardless of if there was 30,000 or 300 men on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"To be fair what I witness on here as 4 main requirements from women on here are;
Hung
Gym fit
Black
Women
You are at least 2 out of a possible 3 of them (not taking into account how you identify lol) so your experience may differ to a lot of other men on here. However one of the points I'm making definitely has to do with ratio's and the possible impacts that has between me and women
I am definitely looking for a hung, gym fit, black woman "
 aren't we all?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think it boils down to the following percentages on here to get a woman’s attention.
20% her actually seeing your message in her inbox as it whizzes past
20% ability to string together a coherent message.
20% ability to know how to talk to women.
20% taste / preference.
20% not looking like Jimmy Tarbuck. |
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"I wonder how this plays out overall? Are more men seeking single life, trying to fill a sexual void. Are just as many single women just not needing to fill that sexual void? Are relationships becoming a thing of that past? It seems men and women are growing further and further apart in terms of wants, needs and understanding.
Not sure lol"
To specifically answer the other part of your original post…
Sexual liberation and increased awareness has led to folks across gender and sexual identites discovering more of their sexuality, and thus finding a better fit for themselves.
It means that traditional “relationships” aren’t the sole option for people anymore. There will be a lot more experimentation and discovery. Just look at the overall rise of polyamory, ethical non monogamy, and formerly niche interests/ lifestyles like BDSM, all of which are now more accepted mainstream. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think it boils down to the following percentages on here to get a woman’s attention.
20% her actually seeing your message in her inbox as it whizzes past
20% ability to string together a coherent message.
20% ability to know how to talk to women.
20% taste / preference.
20% not looking like Jimmy Tarbuck. "
Not looking like Jimmy tarbuck is actually 29% for me. Could you redo these percentages based on that, thanks |
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"I think it boils down to the following percentages on here to get a woman’s attention.
20% her actually seeing your message in her inbox as it whizzes past
20% ability to string together a coherent message.
20% ability to know how to talk to women.
20% taste / preference.
20% not looking like Jimmy Tarbuck.
Not looking like Jimmy tarbuck is actually 29% for me. Could you redo these percentages based on that, thanks"
Where do you stand on Liza? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think it boils down to the following percentages on here to get a woman’s attention.
20% her actually seeing your message in her inbox as it whizzes past
20% ability to string together a coherent message.
20% ability to know how to talk to women.
20% taste / preference.
20% not looking like Jimmy Tarbuck.
Not looking like Jimmy tarbuck is actually 29% for me. Could you redo these percentages based on that, thanks
Where do you stand on Liza?"
Wasn't she great in the Inspector Lynley Mysteries! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think it boils down to the following percentages on here to get a woman’s attention.
20% her actually seeing your message in her inbox as it whizzes past
20% ability to string together a coherent message.
20% ability to know how to talk to women.
20% taste / preference.
20% not looking like Jimmy Tarbuck.
Not looking like Jimmy tarbuck is actually 29% for me. Could you redo these percentages based on that, thanks"
20% her actually seeing your message in her inbox as it whizzes past
20% ability to string together a coherent message.
20% ability to know how to talk to women.
11% taste / preference.
29% not looking like Jimmy Tarbuck. "
Re Liza.. totally fancy a woman who can make me laugh. |
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"To be fair what I witness on here as 4 main requirements from women on here are;
Hung
Gym fit
Black
Women
You are at least 2 out of a possible 3 of them (not taking into account how you identify lol) so your experience may differ to a lot of other men on here. However one of the points I'm making definitely has to do with ratio's and the possible impacts that has between me and women
I am definitely looking for a hung, gym fit, black woman
aren't we all? "
Obviously! Assuming that's why we don't get any meets   |
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"I think it boils down to the following percentages on here to get a woman’s attention.
20% her actually seeing your message in her inbox as it whizzes past
20% ability to string together a coherent message.
20% ability to know how to talk to women.
20% taste / preference.
20% not looking like Jimmy Tarbuck.
Not looking like Jimmy tarbuck is actually 29% for me. Could you redo these percentages based on that, thanks
Where do you stand on Liza?
Wasn't she great in the Inspector Lynley Mysteries!"
Never watched, but thank you for the recommendation! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think it boils down to the following percentages on here to get a woman’s attention.
20% her actually seeing your message in her inbox as it whizzes past
20% ability to string together a coherent message.
20% ability to know how to talk to women.
20% taste / preference.
20% not looking like Jimmy Tarbuck.
Not looking like Jimmy tarbuck is actually 29% for me. Could you redo these percentages based on that, thanks
Where do you stand on Liza?
Wasn't she great in the Inspector Lynley Mysteries!
Never watched, but thank you for the recommendation!"
Neither have I, let's thank Wikipedia |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I still don't understand this thread. 
The first paragraph about ratios/monopoly is more-or-less accurate but there's incongruity with the second paragraph. I don't see the correlation."
There isn't one Nero.
*shrugs*
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"To be fair what I witness on here as 4 main requirements from women on here are;
Hung
Gym fit
Black
Women
You are at least 2 out of a possible 3 of them (not taking into account how you identify lol) so your experience may differ to a lot of other men on here. However one of the points I'm making definitely has to do with ratio's and the possible impacts that has between me and women
I am definitely looking for a hung, gym fit, black woman "
Me too. She sounds incredible. I love women with cocks.  |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"Then what is your observations? I believe it is factual that there is at least a 10-1 ratio of men to women on here.
I wonder why that is and the implications of it? "
It maybe seems like you pester but if you view a polite message that you've based on profile then that's a polite message, the women here have so much choice, so you have a small window to appeal and even if you do appeal others appeal to at the same time lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What I witness is that attitude plays a major role in who women meet, way above looks in most cases. In recent years I've declined meets with two of what to me are the most attractive men I've ever seen, purely because I didn't like their attitudes towards meets and this lifestyle in general.
Personally, I've never appreciated feeling like I'm a sex toy to be used for someone elses pleasure. And I like to know that my personal safety is as important to whoever I met as it is to me. Plus, I don't know any women who respond well to "pestering".
All the difference in numbers has ever meant to me is that I've had more profiles to look through to find the people that I wanted to meet, but they'd be the same people regardless of if there was 30,000 or 300 men on here. "
|
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"What I witness is that attitude plays a major role in who women meet, way above looks in most cases. In recent years I've declined meets with two of what to me are the most attractive men I've ever seen, purely because I didn't like their attitudes towards meets and this lifestyle in general.
Personally, I've never appreciated feeling like I'm a sex toy to be used for someone elses pleasure. And I like to know that my personal safety is as important to whoever I met as it is to me. Plus, I don't know any women who respond well to "pestering".
All the difference in numbers has ever meant to me is that I've had more profiles to look through to find the people that I wanted to meet, but they'd be the same people regardless of if there was 30,000 or 300 men on here. "
That’s pretty much it.
I quite happily read and observe and it seems to me that once a person has focussed on another person then what happens on the periphery doesn’t really matter, there may be ‘dabbling’ with others, possibly even toying with peoples feelings but the person who they really want remains their focus. That would happen no matter how many used the site.
I think more people than not seem to be looking for a closer more meaningful relationship or connection.
Nobody wants to feel like they are second best or not the one a person really wants, it’s important to be on the same page. |
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I don't fit any of the requirements on your list and my observations are that as soon as you start taking about monopoly and who holds the power you are approaching from the wrong angle.
Women might have more choice because of the numbers differential but unless you are approaching them all as a collective those numbers don't really mean a whole lot.
A good salesman sells his own product based on its individual merits.
As soon as he has to bring his competitors into the conversation or draws attention to the state of the market he will either lose potential customers or can forget about repeat business. |
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"Just a general observation between men an woman. This scene / site seems to enhance it.
The ratio between men and women on here is clear to see. Women have the monopoly on here in my observations and men seem to need to pester women for possible attention.
I wonder how this plays out overall? Are more men seeking single life, trying to fill a sexual void. Are just as many single women just not needing to fill that sexual void? Are relationships becoming a thing of that past? It seems men and women are growing further and further apart in terms of wants, needs and understanding.
Not sure lol"
I'm not sure relationships are a thing of the past. You have to be realistic and remember a huge number of single people on here are actually in relationships they just don't like to admit it. |
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I think pestering women is far from what most women want, no matter how out numbered.
Another general observation is there are more men here cheating on their partner than women (yes yes before the brigade start there are some women too) but more men, that's also off-putting and increases the male to female ratio.
Mrs |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"Just a general observation between men an woman. This scene / site seems to enhance it.
The ratio between men and women on here is clear to see. Women have the monopoly on here in my observations and men seem to need to pester women for possible attention.
I wonder how this plays out overall? Are more men seeking single life, trying to fill a sexual void. Are just as many single women just not needing to fill that sexual void? Are relationships becoming a thing of that past? It seems men and women are growing further and further apart in terms of wants, needs and understanding.
Not sure lol"
a long relationship these days is 2 years so yes people in general don't put up with crap and move on....... Its a throw away world  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"To be fair what I witness on here as 4 main requirements from women on here are;
Hung
Gym fit
Black
Women
You are at least 2 out of a possible 3 of them (not taking into account how you identify lol) so your experience may differ to a lot of other men on here. However one of the points I'm making definitely has to do with ratio's and the possible impacts that has between me and women"
I disagree, I’m only looking for one on that list, and that’s women.
I am also looking for men, but the other three do not apply, they can, but they don’t have to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"To be fair what I witness on here as 4 main requirements from women on here are;
Hung
Gym fit
Black
Women
You are at least 2 out of a possible 3 of them (not taking into account how you identify lol) so your experience may differ to a lot of other men on here. However one of the points I'm making definitely has to do with ratio's and the possible impacts that has between me and women
I disagree, I’m only looking for one on that list, and that’s women.
I am also looking for men, but the other three do not apply, they can, but they don’t have to. "
Same with me. My preference currently is women, but I will met men if they interest me enough, but I have no specific interest in hung, gymfit or black guys. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"To be fair what I witness on here as 4 main requirements from women on here are;
Hung
Gym fit
Black
Women
You are at least 2 out of a possible 3 of them (not taking into account how you identify lol) so your experience may differ to a lot of other men on here. However one of the points I'm making definitely has to do with ratio's and the possible impacts that has between me and women"
Ratios become meaningless the minute you change your mentality on here. Look at it as a statistical numbers game and you're setting yourself up to fail instantly.
Yes there are more men than women. Always has been. Does this mean women have more options? Yes. Does this mean men have to say yes to every offer from a woman? No. Men can be as choosy as women if they wish. It's entirely their choice and nobody is forcing anyone to message, meet or fuck.
Is it harder for men to get noticed? Only if they adopt the mindset that simply setting up a profile is enough to warrant attention. There are hundreds of guys of all shapes and sizes, all ages, all ethnicities and all sexualities being very successful on Fab. Because they've learnt how to portray themselves, interact with others and boost their chances of being noticed in a positive way.
But they're the minority. The numbers of them on Fab probably match pretty closely the number of women seeking men, so those that put sod all effort in are seemingly left out and are the frustrated, meet-less majority of males on here.
It's easy to move from one camp to another with effort.
You don't have to be any of those four things you stated to do well.
A |
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By *ullish OP Man
over a year ago
Liverpool |
Happy this has got people talking, granted my original post wasn't the clearest waffle I've ever written.
The first part was in relation to what I see on here not experience personally. I believe women on here do have the monopoly on sex in the main, just my opinion lol feel free to disagree.
Ratios I believe are a massive factor, I'm as polite, confident, open minded as they come but if my one message is lost in the hundreds what's the point?
I don't not pester women but I understand for man men they feel the need to bombard women with messages to try and get to the top of the pile etc.
Again I obviously never ment all attributes together (Gym Fit, Black, Women & Hung). What I witness is just these kinks in demand a lot more than most.
Finally I know it's waffling but I'm just intrigued on how 'on the same page' men and women are now. I just see a gulf that seems to be widening.
Thanks for the comments lol |
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"Happy this has got people talking, granted my original post wasn't the clearest waffle I've ever written.
The first part was in relation to what I see on here not experience personally. I believe women on here do have the monopoly on sex in the main, just my opinion lol feel free to disagree.
Ratios I believe are a massive factor, I'm as polite, confident, open minded as they come but if my one message is lost in the hundreds what's the point?
I don't not pester women but I understand for man men they feel the need to bombard women with messages to try and get to the top of the pile etc.
Again I obviously never ment all attributes together (Gym Fit, Black, Women & Hung). What I witness is just these kinks in demand a lot more than most.
Finally I know it's waffling but I'm just intrigued on how 'on the same page' men and women are now. I just see a gulf that seems to be widening.
Thanks for the comments lol"
The only way I can answer that is from personal experience and as someone who doesn't pester and never sends first contact messages.
I rarely if ever chat to women on here who aren't on the same page as I am.
That's because they have taken the time to read my profile and look at my forum engagement and have decided we already have something in common and that is the conversation starting point.
I haven't been in a gym in years, I'm pale and ginger, I'm not hung and I'm also at the upper end of the age spectrum on here so based on your observations I shouldn't be getting any attention at all which thankfully isn't the case. |
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By *ullish OP Man
over a year ago
Liverpool |
All I'm doing is making a personal observation and is 100% subjective.
Your experiences differ from mine, where some have actually agreed with some of my observations.
As part of this, location, culture, age and many other factors play a huge part. |
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I put the effort in and I do ok on here, I don't have a huge cock or a great body imo but I make up for it by being able to talk about lots of different things and being fairly good company.
Yes there's more men than women but you have to just try and make yourself stand out from others and not be desperate.
As for the relationship bit, some want them and some don't but I'm definitely not looking for that at the moment and definitely not from here again. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"All I'm doing is making a personal observation and is 100% subjective.
Your experiences differ from mine, where some have actually agreed with some of my observations.
As part of this, location, culture, age and many other factors play a huge part. "
Most of those factors can't be changed.
What can is the important bit. Profile photos that attract rather than put off - yes people can of course post what they want but they can help.or hinder themselves just with visuals. Text that tells the reader more than just 'looking for fun'. How you interact on the forums and via messages. Whether you go to clubs and/or socials.
The site is just a contact tool and advertising space. Nothing more.
Much like car ads, the better quality descriptions and pictures will attract more interest and potential 'buyers' than one blurry photo and a single line of words.
Believe it or not many women and couples don't just sit back and wait to be contacted. We browse profiles. We send messages.
Some like us also proactively block those that don't interest us so they don't appear in searches again. We don't sit and wait for the user to improve their profile, we'll make a call on what we see at the time. So immediate effort on profile creation is essential.
As I said earlier. If you separated all the well constructed single male profiles from those that have obviously put in zero effort then the ratios you keep referring to are a lot closer than you think.
A |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Basically all you awful men need to leave so that us cherubs shine and rise and thus equalibrium (I can't spell that) is restored.
Save us!"
Whilst if all profiles were carefully created masterpieces with awesome photos and witty text it would make a nice (and highly unlikely) change, there's a real benefit to there being obvious disparity between the good and the bad.
It does save a lot of time making decisions.......
A |
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"Basically all you awful men need to leave so that us cherubs shine and rise and thus equalibrium (I can't spell that) is restored.
Save us!
Whilst if all profiles were carefully created masterpieces with awesome photos and witty text it would make a nice (and highly unlikely) change, there's a real benefit to there being obvious disparity between the good and the bad.
It does save a lot of time making decisions.......
A"
Agreed. My minimal effort profile already puts me in the top 20% compared with the 80% of zero-efforters here. I'd like to give thanks to all you guys for making us at-best-average chaps look good by comparison. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Basically all you awful men need to leave so that us cherubs shine and rise and thus equalibrium (I can't spell that) is restored.
Save us!
Whilst if all profiles were carefully created masterpieces with awesome photos and witty text it would make a nice (and highly unlikely) change, there's a real benefit to there being obvious disparity between the good and the bad.
It does save a lot of time making decisions.......
A"
Stopp it I'll blush! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No it was always there. Women are just more vocal and proactive so it's more visible now. Before we were much more likely to put up and shut up. Now we roar.
"
Hell yes!!! |
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By *rtyIanMan
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
"Basically all you awful men need to leave so that us cherubs shine and rise and thus equalibrium (I can't spell that) is restored.
Save us!
Whilst if all profiles were carefully created masterpieces with awesome photos and witty text it would make a nice (and highly unlikely) change, there's a real benefit to there being obvious disparity between the good and the bad.
It does save a lot of time making decisions.......
A"
I like to think my bit of effort on my profile and taking onboard advice helps, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No it was always there. Women are just more vocal and proactive so it's more visible now. Before we were much more likely to put up and shut up. Now we roar.
Hell yes!!!"
Roar at me, I love a lioness x |
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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago
Not all that North of North London |
"To be fair what I witness on here as 4 main requirements from women on here are;
Hung
Gym fit
Black
Women
You are at least 2 out of a possible 3 of them (not taking into account how you identify lol) so your experience may differ to a lot of other men on here. However one of the points I'm making definitely has to do with ratio's and the possible impacts that has between me and women"
These type of comments seem to be depressingly frequent, the suggestion that all women go for this one stereotype of a man is si flawed its laughable. But the underlying implication that women shouldn't have preferences that exclude normal men really doesn't sit comfortably with me |
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By *ullish OP Man
over a year ago
Liverpool |
1. Admitting its quite frequent suggests many men feel the same. For you to say it's laughable because it doesn't fit into your beliefs is a bit reflection on you isn't it?
2. There is absolutely no underlying insinuation, just an observation of mine. You can happily disagree but be mindful making accusations yourself |
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