Love them but fuck me they can be a monumental pain in the arse. Took time off to visit my Mum and spend some time with her as she isn't well. Said to my sister we should dovetail so we are with her as much as we can. 2 days into the visit and having a nice time sister turns up unannounced and unexpected, leaving her son with friends. Instead of coning at a time when Mum would be alone. It's like she can't bare me to be with her. Am I wrong to feel pissed off? |
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"Love them but fuck me they can be a monumental pain in the arse. Took time off to visit my Mum and spend some time with her as she isn't well. Said to my sister we should dovetail so we are with her as much as we can. 2 days into the visit and having a nice time sister turns up unannounced and unexpected, leaving her son with friends. Instead of coning at a time when Mum would be alone. It's like she can't bare me to be with her. Am I wrong to feel pissed off?"
Yes |
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"Love them but fuck me they can be a monumental pain in the arse. Took time off to visit my Mum and spend some time with her as she isn't well. Said to my sister we should dovetail so we are with her as much as we can. 2 days into the visit and having a nice time sister turns up unannounced and unexpected, leaving her son with friends. Instead of coning at a time when Mum would be alone. It's like she can't bare me to be with her. Am I wrong to feel pissed off?
Yes"
Thanks for the honest response. We spoke about it last week. She had been over a couple of weeks previously which was great. We agreed there was no point us both being here at the same time and would get the family together for Xmas and in the meantime would try and make sure someone was with Mum as much as possible. Would have been so much better had my sister come next week. Hard to explain how I'm feeling. |
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Tell your sister that you are going to visit at a certain time. Don’t go but you will be safe in the knowledge that she is with your mum. Then you can go a couple of days later. Play that game a few times and then mix it up actually going when you say you will - your sister won’t know if she is coming or going but your mum will have lots of company. Problem solved. |
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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago
Terra Firma |
"Love them but fuck me they can be a monumental pain in the arse. Took time off to visit my Mum and spend some time with her as she isn't well. Said to my sister we should dovetail so we are with her as much as we can. 2 days into the visit and having a nice time sister turns up unannounced and unexpected, leaving her son with friends. Instead of coning at a time when Mum would be alone. It's like she can't bare me to be with her. Am I wrong to feel pissed off?"
do you think she turned up purposefully to interrupt your time or to maybe support you? Have considered she might not feel confident in being alone with mum, when she isn't well?
My advice, would be appreciate her being there.
Love to your mum and wishing a speedy recovery  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I can see why you would be annoyed but do you think it's likely your sister did it intentionally?
Sadly, given previous, yes. And I hate saying that."
Get a new sister fam |
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My mother gave birth to 4 children in her short lifetime, she died 2 days before ma 7th birthday aged 39. She was married to a bloke before ma Dad and had 3 pregnancies. One was stillborn. another died in a couple of hours 
But 1 survived (half brother), his name is John, but he and his father emigrated to Australia before I was born.
We've never been in contact, although ma Gran showed me a photo of him, he looked really handsome  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My mother gave birth to 4 children in her short lifetime, she died 2 days before ma 7th birthday aged 39. She was married to a bloke before ma Dad and had 3 pregnancies. One was stillborn. another died in a couple of hours
But 1 survived (half brother), his name is John, but he and his father emigrated to Australia before I was born.
We've never been in contact, although ma Gran showed me a photo of him, he looked really handsome "
Do you want to try and find him?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Love them but fuck me they can be a monumental pain in the arse. Took time off to visit my Mum and spend some time with her as she isn't well. Said to my sister we should dovetail so we are with her as much as we can. 2 days into the visit and having a nice time sister turns up unannounced and unexpected, leaving her son with friends. Instead of coning at a time when Mum would be alone. It's like she can't bare me to be with her. Am I wrong to feel pissed off?
Yes
Thanks for the honest response. We spoke about it last week. She had been over a couple of weeks previously which was great. We agreed there was no point us both being here at the same time and would get the family together for Xmas and in the meantime would try and make sure someone was with Mum as much as possible. Would have been so much better had my sister come next week. Hard to explain how I'm feeling. "
Have you asked her why she's there even though you discussed the arrangement previously?
Maybe she wants the chance to see you too?
Hope the visit goes ok.  |
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"She wants to do what she wants to do not what you tried to cajole her into doing, she's her own person  "
Not trying to cajole anyone. We are both in London, Mam is here. She was over a couple of weeks ago which was great. Said I would come this week as sisters son at school etc and also needs looking after. And then agreed that there is no point 2 of us being here at the same time as it is better to try and manage things so we can be providing care as much as possible. By coming while I'm here it means there mum will be on her own when someone could have been with her if sister had stuck with the agreed plan. It's complicated! |
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I have seen this with grandparents and my parents with their siblings - I don’t know how poorly your mum is but in my experience, they found it difficult being alone with their parent at a difficult time.
It’s frustrating but you have to talk to your sister about it. I don’t have any siblings so it’ll be down to just me anyway |
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"Maybe she wanted to spend time with u both? X"
Who knows, we see a lot of each other in London and are due to all be here together in a few weeks. So all very strange. Mams care should come first which is the bit I guess which is annoying me. |
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