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It's been a difficult day
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So some of you may or may not know I lost my beloved Jay on 17th of October.
Today I went and laid flowers on the bench we always sat at Rutland water next to the waters edge. It was pouring with rain and I'd been waiting for the weather to pick up and it hadn't so I went today.
Last time Jay and I went it was a lovely autumn day and we sat on the bench eating our sandwiches and then went for a walk.
I shed a few tears today but still haven't cried properly. It feels more real now.
When I came home I took my condolence cards down as they can't stay up forever.
So now I'm sitting having a bacardi with a picture of him reminiscing about all the good times we had of which there where many.
With him being a lot older than me we always knew this day would come but I thought we had a few years yet.
Thanks for reading.
Karen |
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I don’t know either of you, but I’m so sorry for your loss.
Grief isn’t linear and doesn’t follow a pattern. It catches you unawares.
Time is healing & your memories will be your best friends and your worst enemies.
Be kind to yourself. Cry, laugh, scream. Allow yourself to grieve and allow yourself to heal x
Much love to you  |
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Grief is a horrible, relentless and draining process, and is one of the inevitable negative aspects of having someone you love in your life. You have my deepest sympathy Karen.
I hope you have close friends and family to turn to in this difficult time and that you gain some comfort from the fact that you had Jay in your life to reciprocate the love that you obviously feel for him.
If talking here helps then you will find friendly and empathetic people who will listen.
Again, sorry for your loss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whilst I don’t know either of you, lease accept my sincere condolences. I can only imagine how hard it is. I hope you have people supporting you. My experiences of grief have been hard, I hope you are able to be kind to yourself and find a way through. Take care x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know how much Jay meant to you and I know you’ve struggled to let the grief out so I’m glad that you had a release today.
It won’t be easy but I hope that this will help you to move forwards as I know Jay would want you to thrive and enjoy life.
You know where I am .. my inbox is always open (in case the temporary name is confusing you it’s Dan )
Lots of love right at ya |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
I'm so sorry for your loss
Sending you love today ,grief is so individual and takes time get fo through.
Be kind to yourself Diamond ,talk to friends and family and do things that make you feel some comfort ,if not happiness at this stage x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank-you. I have a lot of support. My occupational therapist is doubling up as grief Councillor. 16 years with someone is a long time"
Lots and lots of happy memories.
Hugs from me. Xx  |
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So sorry for your loss karen. Grief is a funny old thing as it sneaks up on you when you least expect it. Take time to remember the happy times you shared together when times get really bad. Take care lovely. Joanne & John xxx |
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"So some of you may or may not know I lost my beloved Jay on 17th of October.
Today I went and laid flowers on the bench we always sat at Rutland water next to the waters edge. It was pouring with rain and I'd been waiting for the weather to pick up and it hadn't so I went today.
Last time Jay and I went it was a lovely autumn day and we sat on the bench eating our sandwiches and then went for a walk.
I shed a few tears today but still haven't cried properly. It feels more real now.
When I came home I took my condolence cards down as they can't stay up forever.
So now I'm sitting having a bacardi with a picture of him reminiscing about all the good times we had of which there where many.
With him being a lot older than me we always knew this day would come but I thought we had a few years yet.
Thanks for reading.
Karen"
Really sorry for your loss. Grief is awful and at first relentless. When my wife died in 2005 after nearly 28 years of marriage I felt so lost, heartbroken and still do to some degree. I'm glad you have friends and family you can talk to. I just couldn't tbh. My 9 kids wanted me to talk to them but i couldn't it became to real talking about her. Hope you get through and have the best memories |
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I’m so sorry to read this.
I can empathise with the loss of a partner.
I was just surviving for the first six months, it didn’t hit me.
It’s so up and down. Just try and take it hour by hour, day by day. Sending so much love your way xx |
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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago
Not all that North of North London |
"Thank-you everyone. Yes he will always be in my heart. I didn't meet him till I was 41 but he's the only man I truly loved"
When you used to post on the forums, your love for him was obvious whenever you mentioned him.
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss DiamondSmiles |
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"sorry for your loss, think of the lovely times you had together, im sure hes watching over you everyday,,"
I felt as though he was with me today I could just picture him. I Hope he's with me. I didn't stay as long as I liked as it was pouring with rain
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So sorry for your loss,no pain comes even close to grief just try to take one day at a time,cry shout scream if it helps you
Try and remember that no one can take away your memories of Jay and in time you will smile& be happy again
God bless and take care x |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Thank-you everyone. Yes he will always be in my heart. I didn't meet him till I was 41 but he's the only man I truly loved"
I saw how much he truly loved you too. That's a precious thing.
Don't rush your grief, it has only been a month. After 16 years that is but a little blip of time. Allow yourself the kindness you would give others.
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Big hugs Karen, take care of yourself. I'm sure you have a treasure trove of memories to delve into...it's hard i know and it feels a lonely place to be.I hope you have a good support network around you and you always have the fab muppets on here to chat shit with.
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My sincere condolences on the loss of your beloved. Your pain is palpable but there will come a time when your memories of him will make you smile without the tears that follow them now. |
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