My pussy is currently cooking the Christmas Turkey and my vagina wall temperature will take 7 weeks to cook it so on Christmas day once I've popped it out of my hole I'll be ready to MEAT

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My pussy is currently cooking the Christmas Turkey and my vagina wall temperature will take 7 weeks to cook it so on Christmas day once I've popped it out of my hole I'll be ready to MEAT"

^She's a master baster.

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By *ull English with teaMan over a year ago

London

Currently “working on the rigs”…

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm a fake."

Lol.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Avian flu.

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Cos I've got some paint that needs to be watched whilst it's drying

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By *TK421-Man over a year ago

Cheltenham

I work for Sydney University collecting data. For some reason that puts people off

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By *isaB45Woman over a year ago

Fabville

"I'm a fake.

Lol.

I see that I'm not the only Fabville resident

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By *abluesbabyMan over a year ago

Gibraltar/Cheshire/London

Erm.... what's a 'meet' please???

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m a time waster.

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By *elshcouple18Couple over a year ago

Cardiff

I've dropped my false teeth down the toilet..

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By *abluesbabyMan over a year ago

Gibraltar/Cheshire/London

"I've dropped my false teeth down the toilet.. "

Could still give em a damn good gumming

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By *aldymancguyMan over a year ago

Manc

I'm fake. And a time waster. And I work for Sydney University.

G'day mate!

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By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

The last woman I met was split in half by my huge cock.

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By *rettyboylloydMan over a year ago

Manchester

I don't like any of you. You all smell.

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By *ryan...Man over a year ago

1950's Original

My mum won't give me the bus fare

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By *illiam180Man over a year ago

Huddersfield

I live on a disused oil rig. 200 miles off the coast of the Falkland Islands.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's cold

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By *yron69Man over a year ago

Fareham

I'm on riot patrol.

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By *tylebender03Man over a year ago

Manchester

[Removed by poster at 06/11/22 20:16:06]

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By *al kalMan over a year ago

london

A racoon has taken me hostage and is making me play Rock Paper Scissors with real rocks, papers and scissors….

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By *uke-de-PleasureMan over a year ago

Leeds

I only use Fab to randomly wink at people

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By *lakeyboyMan over a year ago

Edinburgh

Its my time of the month

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By *tylebender03Man over a year ago

Manchester

Only here for the ego boost

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By *orthern StarsCouple over a year ago

Durham

We live the lives of a monk and a nun.

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By *aramel.desiresMan over a year ago

Heathrow

Because I’m checking all my deleted messages.

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By *rincess1988Woman over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

My mum said no.

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By *itty9899Man over a year ago

Craggy Island

I'm washing my hair.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I was using a lynx can to measurel me clit and I accidentally pressed it and now it has frost bite.

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By *hirleyMan over a year ago

somewhere

I have to return some video tapes

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By *hataliceinwanderlustWoman over a year ago

Cambs

Busy being a professional

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By *astandtheCurious2Couple over a year ago

letchworth

A bit tied up at the moment

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My dog ate my phone x

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By *nterblueMan over a year ago

manchester

Real people scare the shit out of me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The troll that lives under my stairs wont give me my house keys

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've already met everyone. Including the newbies due to join next week.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Too much in demand

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By *erryb92Man over a year ago

Yateley

I'm actually harry potter and I'm locked in the cupboard under the stairs

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By *istyPeaksCouple over a year ago

braintree

I’m too ugly

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm a vegan

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman over a year ago

Markfield

I’m a time waster

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By *istyPeaksCouple over a year ago

braintree

"I'm a vegan

Shit

That’s worse than being a fake!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm a vegan

Shit

That’s worse than being a fake!"

Worse still, I'm a fake vegan

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By *inaTitzTV/TS over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I'm washing my wig

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By *istyPeaksCouple over a year ago

braintree

"I'm a vegan

Shit

That’s worse than being a fake!

Worse still, I'm a fake vegan

Hells bells!!!

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By *istyPeaksCouple over a year ago

braintree

"I'm washing my wig

Head or merkin?

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By *ttmcdguyTV/TS over a year ago

Milton Keynes

I’m outside your house right now

It’s not my fault you didn’t tell me the right town !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm a vegan

Shit

That’s worse than being a fake!

Worse still, I'm a fake vegan

Hells bells!!!"

If that isn't the best excuse ever then I don't know what is

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By *inaTitzTV/TS over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

"I'm washing my wig

Head or merkin?"

Under boob

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm washing my wig

Head or merkin?

Under boob

That's one place to hide in your case

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I live in Timbuktu

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By *uffolkcouple-bi onlyCouple over a year ago

Bedworth

I’m too busy messaging asking what anyone would do to me on a meet, so now I’m wanking thinking about it but I will cum before we actually meet

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By *odgerMooreMan over a year ago

Nowhere

I can’t meet You because Ive got 3 Other meets planned today and 500 messages off single women to go through before lunch!!

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By *issalignedTV/TS over a year ago

London

I’m in the middle of a sex embargo

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I live in Timbuktu

As a member of the Wherethefuckarewe tribe in Timbuktu I'm available within the hour

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By *inaTitzTV/TS over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

"I'm washing my wig

Head or merkin?

Under boob

That's one place to hide in your case

And that is exactly where I hide my case

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