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Failed meets
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I am not doing any new meets right now but in the past I've never had a no show. But then I tend to chat for a good while before I agree to meet anyone and I don't do sex talk or show any pics other than the ones on my profile before I meet. I find all of that tends to help with the people who are on here just for wank material.
My approach won't work for everyone but it has worked for me in the past. |
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Happened to us on Friday night. Was to be our first meet and had been chatting with a verified guy, swapped face pics and all were happy. Booked a hotel and arranged a time and location to meet. Messaged the day before to make sure we were all still good and got a positive response. Messaged again when we arrived at the hotel, read but no response. Messaged again an hour before just to check everything was ok, not even read. Then just ghosted. We didn't message him again to get angry or anything, assumed he had his reasons for not turning up but were disappointed he wasn't courteous enough just to ping us a message, especially as this was our first planned meet.
As it turned out, it didn't hamper our plans as we just headed back to the room, posted a meet here and within about 30 minutes a great, releaxed and respectful guy showed up and we had a fantastic evening  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Failed meets, we've all had a few, but then again, too few to mention...there's a song in there somewhere.
Failed meets happen for a variety of reasons, some genuine, some bullshit, we can all chose to interpret the real meaning...
My car broke down
My cat/dog died
My mum/dad is ill
I'm ill
My work rang and...
My wife/husband/partner changed thier plans
Any of the above and more, or it could simply be a case they got cold feet, nerves got the better of them, attack of guilt or simply changed their mind.
Simply fact, Failed meets happen, but as long as plenty of notice is given, as long as there is contact and not just radio silence, all count surely?
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In the 10 years I’ve been using Fab, I’ve never let anyone down, but have been messed around and ghosted a few times, even by well-verified profiles. It happens, kind of goes with the territory, but I just block and move on, they had their chance   |
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"Happened to us on Friday night. Was to be our first meet and had been chatting with a verified guy, swapped face pics and all were happy. Booked a hotel and arranged a time and location to meet. Messaged the day before to make sure we were all still good and got a positive response. Messaged again when we arrived at the hotel, read but no response. Messaged again an hour before just to check everything was ok, not even read. Then just ghosted. We didn't message him again to get angry or anything, assumed he had his reasons for not turning up but were disappointed he wasn't courteous enough just to ping us a message, especially as this was our first planned meet.
As it turned out, it didn't hamper our plans as we just headed back to the room, posted a meet here and within about 30 minutes a great, releaxed and respectful guy showed up and we had a fantastic evening "
That’s an awful start to this for you but glad you still managed to have a good night. |
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We’ve never had a know show or anyone just disappear when a meet has been arranged. We have had people cancel but they have given notice and a reason. I try to give people the benefit of doubt but I do always wonder if they are messing us about.
Kx |
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"
That’s an awful start to this for you but glad you still managed to have a good night. "
Thank you, but yes, what could have ended in disappointment and us deciding this wasn't for us, we had our faith almost immediately restored and are very much looking forward to planning something similar in the future! |
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"So how many on here get the failed meet
No shows or false promises ?
Post if you are serious about meets "
We've never had a no show, but we've had a few socials where we (or them) have decided that we're not going to progress to anything more.
Cal |
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We are serious about meets and when we know we want to meet we make the effort.
We do feel it’s hard to be judgemental about failed meets or no shows as we don’t stand in other peoples shoes and many people are private about fab aren’t they so real life does get in the way.
It’s easier to remain polite selves, be kind to ourselves and not to over think it. And if you get the feeling it’s not gonna happen give the people a way out in the conversation then everyone knows where they stand   xx |
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"Strange how some say they never had one
And others say they had many
Wonder what makes the difference ? "
I take my time chatting and getting to know people before meeting for a social and there will always be a social. Anyone thinking otherwise and the conversation ends.
There is a direct correlation between how often and how quickly you want to meet and the number of no shows.
If someone is having repeated no shows maybe they should look at the common denominator and how they vet those they chat to. |
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"Strange how some say they never had one
And others say they had many
Wonder what makes the difference ? "
Yeah, I'm not too sure what we could have done differently to be honest. Maybe a video call beforehand but there had been no indication that things were anything but positive. As I say, we didn't hound him or chastise him afterwards, just left him be, but I think he has since blocked us for whatever reason, too.  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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I've never had one.
I think sometimes it's not the "fault" of the person on the receiving end. But sometimes I think that people don't help with things, like doing all the sex chat or not really paying attention to flags beforehand. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never had a no show. Everyone I've arranged to meet, we met and had a great time. Men, couples, TV's (and multiples) all turned up both when I've met as a single and as a couple.
It's not the site's fault. Fab isn't a babysitting service.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So how many on here get the failed meet
No shows or false promises ?
Post if you are serious about meets
We've never had a no show, but we've had a few socials where we (or them) have decided that we're not going to progress to anything more.
Cal"
Good point about not meeting again after a bad social. In that case some people may call me a 'failed meet'.
I'm ok with that.
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We’ve been incredibly lucky. Meets have been great and everyone we’ve made plans with have been a joy to spend time with.
There’s always a first time - more than aware of this! We’re starting to prefer club meets too so it wouldn’t be the end of the world if they cancelled |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve been incredibly lucky in all my years and incarnations in Fab, never had a no show or anything like that, only once can I recall a postponement when they had the lurgy but they told me on the morning (ahead of an evening meet) and we met two weeks later instead.
For those frequently let down, what due diligence do you do? How long have you known them / been speaking to them?
I get it that it’s easy to be let down once or twice, shit happens, but if you’re FREQUENTLY let down then maybe it’s time to look inwardly at what you’re doing and how can you improve your quality control?  |
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"So how many on here get the failed meet
No shows or false promises ?
Post if you are serious about meets
We've never had a no show, but we've had a few socials where we (or them) have decided that we're not going to progress to anything more.
Cal
Good point about not meeting again after a bad social. In that case some people may call me a 'failed meet'.
I'm ok with that.
"
It's not even necessarily a "bad" social, we can have a real laugh with them but not have "the spark" that would lead to sex.
Cal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Once, and he had a better offer, told me literally as I walking out of the door
Oh I laughed and laughed when he messaged me an hour later because she didn't turn up... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So how many on here get the failed meet
No shows or false promises ?
Post if you are serious about meets
We've never had a no show, but we've had a few socials where we (or them) have decided that we're not going to progress to anything more.
Cal
Good point about not meeting again after a bad social. In that case some people may call me a 'failed meet'.
I'm ok with that.
It's not even necessarily a "bad" social, we can have a real laugh with them but not have "the spark" that would lead to sex.
Cal"
Fair point, I agree. |
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Over the years we have had our fair share of no-shows, all single guys. If a a plausible reason is given OK but the ones who don't even make contact and then block further contact GRRRRR.
Unless we are pretty confident about someone, the venue is our favourite club, at least that way the evening is not going to be completely wasted.
Over the years we have had to pull out of meets twice, both as a result of family dramas, but we were able to contact all parties beforehand. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Once, and he had a better offer, told me literally as I walking out of the door
Oh I laughed and laughed when he messaged me an hour later because she didn't turn up...
He has no class "
Or manners! and could not understand why I thought it was funny  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Once, and he had a better offer, told me literally as I walking out of the door
Oh I laughed and laughed when he messaged me an hour later because she didn't turn up..."
So people even have the balls to say that? Blimey. 
I’d at least feign the old granny in hospital or dog needs to get to vet excuse ..
There’s no coming back from “I had a better offer, love” is there? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Happened once! Second meet off fab. He just deleted his account as I was on my way there. Messaged me again 3 months later with a poor excuse. I made him think I'd be still interested in meeting and when he was passing by hoping to meet me in a hotel, I had ignored his messages whole day. Then told him I did it deliberately. Such fun.
T.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Once, and he had a better offer, told me literally as I walking out of the door
Oh I laughed and laughed when he messaged me an hour later because she didn't turn up...
So people even have the balls to say that? Blimey.
I’d at least feign the old granny in hospital or dog needs to get to vet excuse ..
There’s no coming back from “I had a better offer, love” is there? "
He didn't literally say it, he said something like 'I can't meet now, I'm meeting someone else' but yeah, I translated that to mean he had a better offer |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Once, and he had a better offer, told me literally as I walking out of the door
Oh I laughed and laughed when he messaged me an hour later because she didn't turn up...
So people even have the balls to say that? Blimey.
I’d at least feign the old granny in hospital or dog needs to get to vet excuse ..
There’s no coming back from “I had a better offer, love” is there?
He didn't literally say it, he said something like 'I can't meet now, I'm meeting someone else' but yeah, I translated that to mean he had a better offer"
 very poor form .. I’ll take ya for an ice cream and milkshake x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Once, and he had a better offer, told me literally as I walking out of the door
Oh I laughed and laughed when he messaged me an hour later because she didn't turn up...
So people even have the balls to say that? Blimey.
I’d at least feign the old granny in hospital or dog needs to get to vet excuse ..
There’s no coming back from “I had a better offer, love” is there?
He didn't literally say it, he said something like 'I can't meet now, I'm meeting someone else' but yeah, I translated that to mean he had a better offer
very poor form .. I’ll take ya for an ice cream and milkshake x "
I would love that as long as it is Banana |
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I've never had an failed meets.
Don't know if that's down to me taking time and chatting to people, not sending anymore pics than what I am already showing on here (apart from a face pic and not engaging in any form of sex chat/texting.
Whatever it is, it seems to work for me x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All the time. Last one was last week with someone I've met before. He asked to meet, sends me his street name and postcode. I tell him I'll be about an hour as I was going to see him before I went to work. Messaged on here when I was leaving for the door number. Messaged on WhatsApp too. Left for work, checked messages just before I got near his and he'd deleted fab. Still no reply on WhatsApp. I Messaged him after work to congrat him on his wel played game. He WhatsApped the next day to meet again as he thought I wasn't comming so he deleted fab.
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"Once, and he had a better offer, told me literally as I walking out of the door
Oh I laughed and laughed when he messaged me an hour later because she didn't turn up...
He has no class
Or manners! and could not understand why I thought it was funny "
It's just rude! He also plainly had terrible myopia x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had plans cancelled or rescheduled both by the other and myself.
I've never had a no-show.
Did have a guy play hide&seek with my cuppa and bun.... you know who you are J
But we got there in the end lol
It pays to take time in the picking. I'd rather have 20 chats go nowhere than 20 socials fall through |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's not unique to this site. It happened a lot when I was using a bdsm site. I kinda understood it though as people can talk themselves up and pretend they are an ubermasochist. An actual meet is the proof of ability.
My very first potential meet on here ghosted me just before meeting. They've messaged to meet again many times over the years. It's always a nope.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In total, this year I’ve had 3 women change their mind from a “ oh yes! we should meet up Woody” to “1 x no ’ and 2 x ghosted me. One was after we looked for a hotel to book…. Go figure.  |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
I rarely meet nowadays ,but see so many threads of no shows ,it's disheartening.
In the past I had one no show ,he pestered to meet and after a good while I agreed to a social.
He stood me up,when I messaged him he said I wasn't his type so he didn't bother!!
He deleted his fab account,fast forward a few months and he rejoins and asks to meet!.He was quite surprised at my answer and that I knew exactly who he was and what he did.
I don't know the motivation behind that ,but I don't give 2nd chances unless there's a really good reason and they let me know before I set off to a meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Had this just this weekend. Gutted initially but you don't miss what you haven't had so dust yourself off and get back on the saddle xx"
Well I'd say they so lost out Chrissy...wow, gorgeous x |
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"Happened to us on Friday night. Was to be our first meet and had been chatting with a verified guy, swapped face pics and all were happy. Booked a hotel and arranged a time and location to meet. Messaged the day before to make sure we were all still good and got a positive response. Messaged again when we arrived at the hotel, read but no response. Messaged again an hour before just to check everything was ok, not even read. Then just ghosted. We didn't message him again to get angry or anything, assumed he had his reasons for not turning up but were disappointed he wasn't courteous enough just to ping us a message, especially as this was our first planned meet.
As it turned out, it didn't hamper our plans as we just headed back to the room, posted a meet here and within about 30 minutes a great, releaxed and respectful guy showed up and we had a fantastic evening "
Similar thing happened to us last night. We have been chatting to a woman since April, had a video social and had a meet organised which she had to cancel in advance but we stayed chatting and thought we’d really built a connection.
We booked a hotel last night and arranged to meet in the bar. Messaged her in the morning to say we’d let her know once we were there, which she replied to, messaged once we got to the hotel (an hour before the meet) to say we are here and she replied “see you soon”. Then, when she didn’t show up I checked and she had blocked us… No explanation or excuses just totally ghosted us. It was only our second meet so it’s made us really wary about meeting in future.
The joy, however, about being a couple is that you can still carry on and enjoy yourselves together but we both felt so angry and let down, not to mention the complete waste of time and money involved. |
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"Strange how some say they never had one
And others say they had many
Wonder what makes the difference ? "
Perhaps people are able to out the bad ones
Perhaps their selection technic is robust
We all learn things on our journey through fab
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"All the time. Last one was last week with someone I've met before. He asked to meet, sends me his street name and postcode. I tell him I'll be about an hour as I was going to see him before I went to work. Messaged on here when I was leaving for the door number. Messaged on WhatsApp too. Left for work, checked messages just before I got near his and he'd deleted fab. Still no reply on WhatsApp. I Messaged him after work to congrat him on his wel played game. He WhatsApped the next day to meet again as he thought I wasn't comming so he deleted fab.
"
That’s all bull shit from him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve had loads of no shows over the years, especially when I first joined about 5 years ago "
Unbelievable, u r so pretty . How is that possible ?
Fakes isn’t it ? Married weirdows living the fantasy . Then is all fake .
I had 5 stood ups in August n September
Including a lady who was in my WhatsApp for over a year ( this one was specially disappointing … )
Book hotels ? Advanced ? Is a risky game
Even is a genuine person things happen .
Kids , flu , bad belly , car etc etc
Then u have the evil stood ups .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve had loads of no shows over the years, especially when I first joined about 5 years ago
Unbelievable, u r so pretty . How is that possible ?
Fakes isn’t it ? Married weirdows living the fantasy . Then is all fake .
I had 5 stood ups in August n September
Including a lady who was in my WhatsApp for over a year ( this one was specially disappointing … )
Book hotels ? Advanced ? Is a risky game
Even is a genuine person things happen .
Kids , flu , bad belly , car etc etc
Then u have the evil stood ups .
"
We’re adults. Why can’t sone be an adult and say ‘I’ve changed my mind!’
To be stood up/ghosted/blocked is just ignorance no matter how many times people try to justify or defend it as a change of mind.
Just tell them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some here promise the earth but when push comes to shove regards meeting they just deny it or disappear, whatever but they don't meet , probably never had any intention of doing so from the start .who knows but they don't meet . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I gave up meeting via fab about 5 years ago after a string of dead grannies, broken down cars, emergency vet visits, cancelled babysitters blah blah blah. Clubs and parties only now - at least the people there actually turned up |
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We're probably at about a 60/40 ratio of no-shows to actual meets.
It's a shitter, but that's fab for you.
Though very occasionally you will get a no show or an engagement that falls apart at the last minute that is a huge dodged bullet as we had recently. So relieved. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve had loads of no shows over the years, especially when I first joined about 5 years ago
Unbelievable, u r so pretty . How is that possible ?
Fakes isn’t it ? Married weirdows living the fantasy . Then is all fake .
I had 5 stood ups in August n September
Including a lady who was in my WhatsApp for over a year ( this one was specially disappointing … )
Book hotels ? Advanced ? Is a risky game
Even is a genuine person things happen .
Kids , flu , bad belly , car etc etc
Then u have the evil stood ups .
We’re adults. Why can’t sone be an adult and say ‘I’ve changed my mind!’
To be stood up/ghosted/blocked is just ignorance no matter how many times people try to justify or defend it as a change of mind.
Just tell them. "
That’s what I call them as well : ignorants .
Exactly : cancel things is legit , is cool and you apreciate : “ thank you for let me know “ .
Stood ups ? I see no reason. Why ?
Cause is fake from the very first moment isn’t it ?
I don’t get it
Could never do such thing .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh yes. Back in my more naive earlier days I had the ultimate fail. Had a gangbang in Birmingham arranged with 5 guys with all 5 confirming they were 'looking forward to meeting' later that day.
None showed up. |
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"Yes, I've been blown out quite a few times who on earth is silly enough to turn you down?!
"
A couple of gym body guys who say they love a bbw, but then "something came up" and they cancel, and a new verification appears on their profile from a size 10 on the day they were supposed to meet me. Had a couple stuck in traffic so I don't meet anyone from across the Dartford Bridge now, and various other excuses. |
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Not as a couple but when I was single I was several times, stood up, ghosted, never a cancel or apology. I gave up in the end and became very cynical and only began to get ready close to the time of meet, sometimes literally just before they were due if I was really unsure if it was going to happen.
Tg x |
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By *omRachCouple
over a year ago
Wirral |
Our most recent no show was the end of August, was still coming on the morning of the meet (scheduled for 3pm) but by 3.15 he had gone off the radar.
We even took a pic outside the pub - just in case he ever tried/decided to brand us as timewasters.
What an absolute prick he is, his loss! |
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Hi OP, your question is two-fold.
I am indeed serious about meets.
However, in all my time here I've never experienced either a failed meet, a no show, false promise or any form of time-wasting or tardiness.
I don't do 'quick meets'. I tend to chat for at least a month before I meet. (It's a form of due diligence that mitigates any of the aforementioned) |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
Think we've only ever had one no show and that was before we'd even met.
A guy that Fox had met contacted me to arrange a threesome with him and her.
A spoke to both, we made plans, then he pulled out an hour before the arranged time and vanished forevermore. Ghosted her and blocked me.
His loss. I still met her and the rest is history looking back things could have turned out a lot differently.
A |
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"Once, and he had a better offer, told me literally as I walking out of the door
Oh I laughed and laughed when he messaged me an hour later because she didn't turn up..."
I had one woman arrange to meet me, then ghost me an hour before the arranged time. No further messages either, and then I saw a veri appear on her profile from another guy, for that night. That was the worst feeling in here ever…… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Spent a 4 hour round trip on a bus to meet a couple who didn’t turn up and blocked me after arriving at the meet place.
Also a man who said his wife wanted to play and gave me his address and to come over. I knocked at the door and she answered and threatened to call the police for trespassing. Apparently he hadn’t even told her about it. Looking back I realise I was stupid but I didn’t think such blokes existed.
He messaged me again and suggested that I enter his house and fuck jet when she was blindfolded and tied up. Get done for breaking and entering and other things , no thanks mate. Told him to do one and blocked and reported him.
Sadly I seem to attract all the idiots |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Had this just this weekend. Gutted initially but you don't miss what you haven't had so dust yourself off and get back on the saddle xx
Well I'd say they so lost out Chrissy...wow, gorgeous x"
Thank you so much sweetie xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Spent a 4 hour round trip on a bus to meet a couple who didn’t turn up and blocked me after arriving at the meet place.
Also a man who said his wife wanted to play and gave me his address and to come over. I knocked at the door and she answered and threatened to call the police for trespassing. Apparently he hadn’t even told her about it. Looking back I realise I was stupid but I didn’t think such blokes existed.
He messaged me again and suggested that I enter his house and fuck jet when she was blindfolded and tied up. Get done for breaking and entering and other things , no thanks mate. Told him to do one and blocked and reported him.
Sadly I seem to attract all the idiots "
Should have reported him to the police too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Within the past 2 weeks we literally had 3 no shows, honestly why even bother with the rest if you don't intend to show  "
Don't send any more pics or do any sex chat at all before you meet them in person. Puts off the (literal) wankers. |
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