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No kids regrets?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No regrets, my friends mostly had their kids in their late 30s and early 40s and are totally knackered
Maybe if I’d gone for it earlier it might have been different but in my 20s I was in a toxic long term relationship and bringing kids into that would have been a disaster
But now I can do what I want, when I want and maybe it’s selfish but I’ve always enjoyed my own company (apart from the dog haha)
Maybe I’ll regret it when I’m really old and have nobody to look after me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nope personally. My husband has 2 from a previous marriage. One older and one younger than me. Sounds awkward but they come to me for advice and such. It's a fantastic relationship. |
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By *ik MMan
over a year ago
Lancashire |
I’m not sure how I can miss something I’ve never had, but I know my life would have been massively different.
Ultimately I never met anyone I wanted to go down that road with and when I got to 40 made the decision that I didn’t want to be an older dad so did something about it.
My last relationship was with someone who had grandchildren - now that is a dynamic I would like in my life one day, obviously they won’t be biological ones |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"I’m not sure how I can miss something I’ve never had, but I know my life would have been massively different.
Ultimately I never met anyone I wanted to go down that road with and when I got to 40 made the decision that I didn’t want to be an older dad so did something about it.
My last relationship was with someone who had grandchildren - now that is a dynamic I would like in my life one day, obviously they won’t be biological ones"
Why obviously, you are only 48 , you could be granpapa by 68 if you get a move on. You dint need a wife or even a partner these days |
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I had kids young thankfully but I'd hugely regret not having them and would of seen my life as a failure in all honesty
The fact I exist is a miricle. Thousands upon thousands of people in my bloodline had to exist and survive wars, infections, famines and all the trials and tribulations of life simply for me to exist.
I sure as shit don't want to be the one that ends that line. |
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By *ik MMan
over a year ago
Lancashire |
"I’m not sure how I can miss something I’ve never had, but I know my life would have been massively different.
Ultimately I never met anyone I wanted to go down that road with and when I got to 40 made the decision that I didn’t want to be an older dad so did something about it.
My last relationship was with someone who had grandchildren - now that is a dynamic I would like in my life one day, obviously they won’t be biological ones
Why obviously, you are only 48 , you could be granpapa by 68 if you get a move on. You dint need a wife or even a partner these days "
Ain’t no way I’m getting reversed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve no regrets, and it’s good to hear other people expressing their thoughts, either way, about it as well. It helps us to stop comparing ourselves to what the “ideal” way of living our lives is supposed to be. Everyone’s opinion is valid, for them |
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By *yron69 OP Man
over a year ago
Fareham |
With me people are often surprised I haven't had any. But back in the day nobody ever got that much into me for kids to be a thought.
By the time I married I had met a woman who could no longer have them.
But I helped raise hers plus other nephews and nieces.
But daughters would have been lovely in hindsight. However back then I never wanted a son. |
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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago
Wherever I lay my hat |
"I regret not trying to swap mine with a better one.
That’s a pretty flippant comment if you’re referring to your child!  "
C'mon...I am pretty sure this was a joke. I always used to tell my (now grown up as fully functioning adults) kids that it was never too late to send em back.
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I don't have any children. It was never really a conscious decision not to,just the time or relationships I were in were never right to bring a child into them.One day when I was in my early 40s it dawned on me that it wouldn't happen now and honestly I don't regret it.I never felt the strong maternal urge I see other women talk about or worried about time running out to have them. It is just the way my life went. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am the other side of this. I have 4 kids by the time I was 25. And although I wouldnt change them now, I do regret having them as I never wanted children. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"I’m not sure how I can miss something I’ve never had, but I know my life would have been massively different.
Ultimately I never met anyone I wanted to go down that road with and when I got to 40 made the decision that I didn’t want to be an older dad so did something about it.
My last relationship was with someone who had grandchildren - now that is a dynamic I would like in my life one day, obviously they won’t be biological ones
Why obviously, you are only 48 , you could be granpapa by 68 if you get a move on. You dint need a wife or even a partner these days
Ain’t no way I’m getting reversed "
Ahh I missed that bit. I think it’s still possible with private healthcare , here in Medicare City there’s all kinds of labs for making babies plus you don’t have to be the biological father.
But you also chose not to be an older father, that’s a personal decision. I did too and sometimes wonder about the rationale and of the benefits are greater than disadvantages etc. not being around later in those life etc is something you can plan for and many people lose parents young |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I decided very young that I didnt want children and I’ve stuck to it. I’ve also avoided relationships with men who had young kids. It’s just not my thing "
That’s a life choice and one you seem to be fully content with?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am the other side of this. I have 4 kids by the time I was 25. And although I wouldnt change them now, I do regret having them as I never wanted children. "
Then why have 4? |
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"I'm quite broody to be honest. Not in a must be impregnated by every man I talk to kind of way. More, a little baby would make me feel complete. That's probably daft to type. I'm very happy and comfortable with life right now but I think a baby would bring me so much joy.
I'd love a baby in the next few years.
I don't think I'm too old to have a little 'un. I guess it's about making peace with what you decide. I think I'd regret not having one in the next few years. Plus pregnancy bloom and me? Perfection."
You’re not even close to being too old 
If I knew then what I know now I’d have tried popping them out like little peas much younger.
I should never have assumed it would be easy!! |
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Its terrible and I have to console myself with a lie in every weekend, sitting round my tidy house and keeping busy doing what I want….and when it gets really bad I take myself off on a luxury holiday to cry in the sun at one of the awful child free resorts  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would, for a moment, skip a generation and wax lyrical about grandkids.
All of mine are in their teens and I sit and marvel at their energy, ambitions and general zest for life. I like to think I am the favourite grand parent as I being single I am a little outside the norm and when one of them says put your hippie music on pops I tend to have a wry smile!
Kids, they drain you of energy wealth and sleep. They are an expensive addage to life and at certain stages in their lives they are ungrateful cretins gilded from the devils loins! Would I change it? Not for a second as when they were born I realised almost instantly I was not the most important thing in my life any longer! |
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By *G LanaTV/TS
over a year ago
Gosport |
My only regret is that it was part of my marriage breakup. She knew when we got married that I didn't want children on environmental grounds which she was OK with at the time as she has several meducal issues that would have prevented her having them. Out marriage fell apart for multiple reasons but my not wanting to have children was repeated stated as being a major contributor. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The only regret I have is that my little one is no longer here  x
I cannot even imagine the pain losing a child would bring. Xx
It's a pain that will last forever  x"
I am sure it will, heartfelt hug x |
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By *ack688Man
over a year ago
abruzzo Italy (and UK) |
I never wanted kids and really should have had the snip back in my late teens, but did end up having one, and he’s an adult now and I enjoy spending time with him, but I’ve never enjoyed being a parent and I would have much preferred to have stayed child free |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have one daughter who is in her late 30’s - I would have liked another child but my then husband had 2 children and didn’t want a 4th.
My daughter has decided she doesn’t want any children, which didn’t surprise me. When she was a child she was never into dolls, only animals.
I regret I won’t have a grandchild to spoil and that my line will end with her. But I got a rescue dog to share my life and that plugs the gap a little.
So it allows me to live in another country from her without the guilt of being close by. I will ensure that I leave enough money for her to have a comfortable old age but it also gives me license to spend my money on myself and put my choices first, which hasn’t been the case in the past. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I regret not doing it sooner, didn't start until 40.
When I'm 60 my daughter will still only be 14.
My medical conditions and general fitness prevents me doing everything i want to with the kids, but they are happy and I couldn't be without them in my life.
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Our only regret is that with our first 2, we'd have waited until we found each other to have them. We were young, in different relationships and thought we knew it all. In hindsight, the son we have together was how we should have done it. Settled environment, comfortable, own home, both work etc. Thankfully though they're all aged between 9 and (almost) 18 so we're young enough to enjoy them, to undersrand trends to keep up with them and when they're old enough to be left alone we'll still be young enough to go and enjoy our time alone to do things we should've done before having them.
As is said though; "is there ever a right time to have kids?"
D x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One daughter myself, now 20yrs old, settled with her boyfriend of three years and announced to me last month I’m going to be a grandfather in June..yikes  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The only regret I have is that my little one is no longer here x"
I’m so sorry to read about your loss, I can’t even begin to imagine what this must feel like.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One daughter myself, now 20yrs old, settled with her boyfriend of three years and announced to me last month I’m going to be a grandfather in June..yikes "
Congrats. |
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My sister and husband dont have any children she never wanted them.
They have tons of nieces, nephews and godchildren that they adore.
They dont regret not having children as their of travelling all the while |
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I have 3 kids that I absolutely adore and I love being a mum.
I’ve come across many shit parents in my time though who had kids because they were ‘supposed’ to - or because it just happened.
I have every respect for men and women who make a conscious decision not to have children for whatever reason.
I have nothing but contempt for those who have children and don’t put their heart and soul into ensuring that those kids grow up in a safe, loving and nurturing home. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have 3 kids that I absolutely adore and I love being a mum.
I’ve come across many shit parents in my time though who had kids because they were ‘supposed’ to - or because it just happened.
I have every respect for men and women who make a conscious decision not to have children for whatever reason.
I have nothing but contempt for those who have children and don’t put their heart and soul into ensuring that those kids grow up in a safe, loving and nurturing home. "
Well said that lady! |
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Love being a Dad, but it’s not for everyone. My youngest an hour ago hugged me and said he loved me, can’t beat that. Admittedly he also wanted a lolly (he got his lollipop) so sometimes think I’m a pushover as well.
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"I regret not doing it sooner, didn't start until 40.
When I'm 60 my daughter will still only be 14.
My medical conditions and general fitness prevents me doing everything i want to with the kids, but they are happy and I couldn't be without them in my life.
"
My Dad was 47 when I was born and 49 when my brother was born. Don't worry. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am the other side of this. I have 4 kids by the time I was 25. And although I wouldnt change them now, I do regret having them as I never wanted children.
Then why have 4?"
Life curcumstances, my husband wanted them abd no guarentee he would always have the ability. So we had them quickly. 4 because he was desperate for a boy and the first 3 were girls |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I knew from an early age that i didn't want kids, that thought continued through my 20s and 30s and im still the same now in my late 40s. Never regretted it for one moment. I've got 2 unofficial god children though and that's more than enough to handle. People say I'd make a great dad as I'm really good with kids, im the goofy wally that makes them laugh and does stupid things and plays games but after a while I'm more than happy to hand them back. Plus as I've got older, I'm seeing how the world is changing and I'd be very worried for any grandkids my offspring would have. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No regrets. Always thought I'd have kids but never happened. While I'm not sure I'd have been a good mum, apparently I'm great as an aunt, godmother, friend x |
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Zero regrets. My time, money, mental well-being, personal space, and decisions, are entirely my own. The idea of a loud, messy little being holding the monopoly on my life horrifies me. Child-havers usually give me the 'you've never known real love until you have a child' speech, which I just find insulting.
Anyway, if I had ever wanted kids, I would have fostered or adopted, the world is full of kiddos without a permanent home.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I regret not doing it sooner, didn't start until 40.
When I'm 60 my daughter will still only be 14.
My medical conditions and general fitness prevents me doing everything i want to with the kids, but they are happy and I couldn't be without them in my life.
My Dad was 47 when I was born and 49 when my brother was born. Don't worry. "
Thank you, nice to hear that. |
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