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Searching for a 'type'
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi, really new to fab so bear with. We could do with some help in our profile. We get messages, but the number of them from men saying they want to either come on my face or ' smash the back doors in' within a few messages is really off putting for newbies. Both acts are outside of our current and agreed boundaries. Makes me feel like giving up on a long held fantasy of a threesome with my partner and another man. We are chatting to a really respectful guy whose happy to go at a newbie pace, but he seems like he is in a distinct minority. Are we being too precious, are we being unrealistic, is there anything we can add to our profile to discourage the disrespectful.
Thank you all
C&C |
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I think your profile is very clear what you are looking for but unfortunately a lot of people message without reading it. Just ignore the messages you don't like and block the sender. There are lots of men on this site who will be happy to play to your rules. Happy Fabbing. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Your bio is totally reasonable from what I've read but sadly no matter how well you word a profile there will be a plethora of guys who are just too lazy to read it or are just neanderthals I'm afraid 
Good luck in your search   "
20 years of wanting ( mismatched relationships) and a year of planning , so thanks for your answer. |
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The bio is really well written, it’s clear what you’re looking for. Only tiny observation and I missed at first is the hint at Mr being bi curious.
I wouldn’t be offended at the crass messages… learn to laugh at them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find it amazing people receive those type of messages.
Its a fair assumption to make that those guys would never say anything like that in a face to face conversation. But hiding behind the Internet, suddenly there are no boundaries.
From reading previous threads, you can minimise the messages you receive by adding filters.
Not receiving messages from new profiles, unverified profiles, anyone outside your age range, from single males....or from too far away (i think).
Unfortunately it wont stop all messages, but should reduce them.
Also, if you stay awhile like some of the 'veterans' on here, you'll grow a thick skin and just learn to ignore the idiots |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
Unfortunately you will get some messages like that just delete them if you get an idea a message is like that before you even open it delete it unread.
Tighten your filters they will help a lot to cut down messages.And go look for profiles that interest you both and make first contact with those. I would definitely add some pics of you both they don't have to be pics that someone will recognise who you are, but a lot of people won't even open messages from a silhouette profile. I know I don't. And go at your own pace don't let anyone tell you that you have to meet or do anything ye are both not comfortable with.
Enjoy your fab journey it's meant to be fun. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I find it amazing people receive those type of messages.
Its a fair assumption to make that those guys would never say anything like that in a face to face conversation. But hiding behind the Internet, suddenly there are no boundaries.
From reading previous threads, you can minimise the messages you receive by adding filters.
Not receiving messages from new profiles, unverified profiles, anyone outside your age range, from single males....or from too far away (i think).
Unfortunately it wont stop all messages, but should reduce them.
Also, if you stay awhile like some of the 'veterans' on here, you'll grow a thick skin and just learn to ignore the idiots"
Good idea, thank you. Blimmin love men, be a shame to throw the towel in ! Will amend as advised. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Unfortunately you will get some messages like that just delete them if you get an idea a message is like that before you even open it delete it unread.
Tighten your filters they will help a lot to cut down messages.And go look for profiles that interest you both and make first contact with those. I would definitely add some pics of you both they don't have to be pics that someone will recognise who you are, but a lot of people won't even open messages from a silhouette profile. I know I don't. And go at your own pace don't let anyone tell you that you have to meet or do anything ye are both not comfortable with.
Enjoy your fab journey it's meant to be fun. "
Thanks, we are really clear about what we are looking for and I know that, if we choose carefully for our first go, we will fly!
Thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi, really new to fab so bear with. We could do with some help in our profile. We get messages, but the number of them from men saying they want to either come on my face or ' smash the back doors in' within a few messages is really off putting for newbies. Both acts are outside of our current and agreed boundaries. Makes me feel like giving up on a long held fantasy of a threesome with my partner and another man. We are chatting to a really respectful guy whose happy to go at a newbie pace, but he seems like he is in a distinct minority. Are we being too precious, are we being unrealistic, is there anything we can add to our profile to discourage the disrespectful.
Thank you all
C&C"
dont let these kind of morons stop you from enjoying your experience of exploring your adventurous side.
there are far too many of these kind of people on here but there is so many that are kind respectful and genuine people. focus your thoughts on the positive peopel |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
Block incoming messages from men, browse the site to find those that interest you and that way you'll cut 100% of unwanted contact and only be engaging with thise you know you're possibly interested in. Simple.
It doesn't mean they be interested in you but it saves time dealing with unwanted attention.
Although given the lack of public photos there's no way for anyone to know whether they're attracted to you or not, so you're going to get messages at present from the chancers and the 'any holes a goal' Community.
A |
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Use a keyword which you put into your profile. Ask people who message you to use your keyword in the subject title. That way you can filter through messages easily for those that have read your profile and those looking for a quickie!
Saf xXx
"Hi, really new to fab so bear with. We could do with some help in our profile. We get messages, but the number of them from men saying they want to either come on my face or ' smash the back doors in' within a few messages is really off putting for newbies. Both acts are outside of our current and agreed boundaries. Makes me feel like giving up on a long held fantasy of a threesome with my partner and another man. We are chatting to a really respectful guy who’s happy to go at a newbie pace, but he seems like he is in a distinct minority. Are we being too precious, are we being unrealistic, is there anything we can add to our profile to discourage the disrespectful.
Thank you all
C&C"
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hi, really new to fab so bear with. We could do with some help in our profile. We get messages, but the number of them from men saying they want to either come on my face or ' smash the back doors in' within a few messages is really off putting for newbies. Both acts are outside of our current and agreed boundaries. Makes me feel like giving up on a long held fantasy of a threesome with my partner and another man. We are chatting to a really respectful guy whose happy to go at a newbie pace, but he seems like he is in a distinct minority. Are we being too precious, are we being unrealistic, is there anything we can add to our profile to discourage the disrespectful.
Thank you all
C&C
dont let these kind of morons stop you from enjoying your experience of exploring your adventurous side.
there are far too many of these kind of people on here but there is so many that are kind respectful and genuine people. focus your thoughts on the positive peopel "
Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Block incoming messages from men, browse the site to find those that interest you and that way you'll cut 100% of unwanted contact and only be engaging with thise you know you're possibly interested in. Simple.
It doesn't mean they be interested in you but it saves time dealing with unwanted attention.
Although given the lack of public photos there's no way for anyone to know whether they're attracted to you or not, so you're going to get messages at present from the chancers and the 'any holes a goal' Community.
A"
Really great advice, thanks |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Use a keyword which you put into your profile. Ask people who message you to use your keyword in the subject title. That way you can filter through messages easily for those that have read your profile and those looking for a quickie!
Yea, read that on a few profiles, cut out the lazy bastards! Thanks
Saf xXx
Hi, really new to fab so bear with. We could do with some help in our profile. We get messages, but the number of them from men saying they want to either come on my face or ' smash the back doors in' within a few messages is really off putting for newbies. Both acts are outside of our current and agreed boundaries. Makes me feel like giving up on a long held fantasy of a threesome with my partner and another man. We are chatting to a really respectful guy who’s happy to go at a newbie pace, but he seems like he is in a distinct minority. Are we being too precious, are we being unrealistic, is there anything we can add to our profile to discourage the disrespectful.
Thank you all
C&C"
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Stick to your guns ..set your standards and don't settle for anything less ...your profile ...your rules  "
Agreed, would rather not bother at all than hook up with douchebags! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Stick to your guns ..set your standards and don't settle for anything less ...your profile ...your rules
Agreed, would rather not bother at all than hook up with douchebags! "
Hey, us douchebags have feelings, you know. |
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The delete and block button are your friends.
Get rid of the bad messages and eventually you will find what you are looking for.
There a lot of guys who are a) opportunists or b) seem to get off with disrespectful behaviour. Just delete/block them
Be patient though, there are some good ones about. |
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Unfortunately there's not a lot you can do to discourage the idiots of the sites. A popular method for women though, is to put all message filters on, and just wink or message the single guys that *you* like. By doing either of those, they can then message you back despite the filters.
LvM |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The delete and block button are your friends.
Get rid of the bad messages and eventually you will find what you are looking for.
There a lot of guys who are a) opportunists or b) seem to get off with disrespectful behaviour. Just delete/block them
Be patient though, there are some good ones about. "
Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Unfortunately there's not a lot you can do to discourage the idiots of the sites. A popular method for women though, is to put all message filters on, and just wink or message the single guys that *you* like. By doing either of those, they can then message you back despite the filters.
Great advice, have done this and feel much more in control. Cheers
LvM"
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