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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
The elephant in the room, the bogie man, the subject nobody wants to talk about, Erectile Dysfunction. Most men would deny ever having an issue!
As with all other men’s health and mental health matters, I have no issue with talking about this, have I suffered from Erectile Dysfunction yes, I have tried the blue pill and in all honesty, it is not for me.
My issue is not physical though I have physical issues such as prolapsed discs which can be a factor. I can gain an erection 99% of the time be that through masturbation or with a sexual partner, there have been times I could not maintain an erection completely. I know this is a psychological issue and that is why I turned to talk therapy. CBT, NLP, meditations. I signed up for an online course at Mojo, through the course you do meditations, exercises, pelvic floor exercises, and various other things. As I already know CBT, NLP, self-hypn0s1s, and deep meditation techniques it is very much a case of listening to my own advice and using the toolset that I already possess.
I have written about this on my blog there are other posts regarding things like antidepressants and libido
If you would like a read of any of it DM me as ill get a ban for posting a link  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a male gets older ED is of course an issue,it's all about blood supply, blood arteries can narrow etc , it may effect smokers or drinkers , people may not encounter it but it's like a shark in the water ..it does exist...the late great Robin Williams once said. " God gave men both a penis and a brain but not enough blood to run the two at the same time "..a person has to be sexually turned on regardless. |
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Very brave post OP.
Due to certain medications I'm on and likewise a bad back ,age and anxiety I too suffer on a regular basis.
Yet there's still a stigma attached to discussing this due to toxic masculinity abundant these days and a fair few women who have little or no understanding and make cruel comments.
However there's also plenty of lovely ladies who understand and don't judge.
Patience is the key like an old car,it make take a few goes to get the motor running but once it kick's in all is well.
Just don't expect to be able to go for a very long journey.  |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
I truly admire people like the OP who post about very personal and sensitive topics - it takes courage, confidence and yet, it is so important we all learn and talk about these elephants in the room.
I would like to say from my perspective that within a relationship, my partner experiencing ED would not be an issue. We would talk about it, find a way together.
Often guys do not talk about it because they fear they may be rejected by their partner. Some go so far as to invent all sorts of issues ...anything but admitting ED is happening. Guys, there is no need, an empathetic partner will not see you as a lesser man for it.  |
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"I truly admire people like the OP who post about very personal and sensitive topics - it takes courage, confidence and yet, it is so important we all learn and talk about these elephants in the room.
I would like to say from my perspective that within a relationship, my partner experiencing ED would not be an issue. We would talk about it, find a way together.
Often guys do not talk about it because they fear they may be rejected by their partner. Some go so far as to invent all sorts of issues ...anything but admitting ED is happening. Guys, there is no need, an empathetic partner will not see you as a lesser man for it. "
Well said x |
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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
"Very brave post OP.
Due to certain medications I'm on and likewise a bad back ,age and anxiety I too suffer on a regular basis.
Yet there's still a stigma attached to discussing this due to toxic masculinity abundant these days and a fair few women who have little or no understanding and make cruel comments.
However there's also plenty of lovely ladies who understand and don't judge.
Patience is the key like an old car,it make take a few goes to get the motor running but once it kick's in all is well.
Just don't expect to be able to go for a very long journey. "
Yeah as with most men's mental health there is definitely still a stigma attached |
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Great Post OP, as you say, so many don't/won't talk about the subject.
It certainly wouldn't make any difference to me if a guy I was seeing suffered from ED. Sex is not the be all and end all of things x |
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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
"I truly admire people like the OP who post about very personal and sensitive topics - it takes courage, confidence and yet, it is so important we all learn and talk about these elephants in the room.
I would like to say from my perspective that within a relationship, my partner experiencing ED would not be an issue. We would talk about it, find a way together.
Often guys do not talk about it because they fear they may be rejected by their partner. Some go so far as to invent all sorts of issues ...anything but admitting ED is happening. Guys, there is no need, an empathetic partner will not see you as a lesser man for it. "
Thank you C x |
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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
"Great Post OP, as you say, so many don't/won't talk about the subject.
It certainly wouldn't make any difference to me if a guy I was seeing suffered from ED. Sex is not the be all and end all of things x"
I totally agree with you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I truly admire people like the OP who post about very personal and sensitive topics - it takes courage, confidence and yet, it is so important we all learn and talk about these elephants in the room.
I would like to say from my perspective that within a relationship, my partner experiencing ED would not be an issue. We would talk about it, find a way together.
Often guys do not talk about it because they fear they may be rejected by their partner. Some go so far as to invent all sorts of issues ...anything but admitting ED is happening. Guys, there is no need, an empathetic partner will not see you as a lesser man for it. "
Beautifully put.
It’s more common than most realise, and it should never cause a problem. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
Bravo OP. It is a topic that should be openly talked about, however due to social pressures it is still shunned, even by some sufferers.
I have been open in the past about having ED. Mine is due to medical issues, and has got worse over the years to the point where I am now looking at getting a bionic dick. I spent years hiding it, mostly due to how emasculating it can be. It led me down some very dark paths until I embraced and accepted it. Yes people can be cruel, but I no longer care. My dick doesn’t define who I am or what I can do.
I have various medication and aids that can help, but the biggest boon is an understanding partner.
I hope you are able to get yours working again without the need of any aids. |
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I'm one of the lucky guys who has made it to the age I am without suffering from ED so fair play op for mentioning the elephant as there is a lot of stigma around it despite those high profile ad campaigns.
I have recently been diagnosed with Peyronies disease which cannot be treated for at least 9 months and although I have no issue getting or maintaining an erection, it is painful and brings its own psychological issues especially in regard to meeting new people.
I am extremely lucky to have a very understanding and patient fab friend but not everyone is so fortunate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve experienced this as someone in my 30s as a mental thing with new partners. All is well and good with foreplay etc. but then the performance anxiety I guess kicks in at the point of penetration and obviously once it’s in your head, there’s no getting around it. |
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By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
"I’ve experienced this as someone in my 30s as a mental thing with new partners. All is well and good with foreplay etc. but then the performance anxiety I guess kicks in at the point of penetration and obviously once it’s in your head, there’s no getting around it. "
That has been my issue on times the negative self talk and inner critic kicks in and pooofft its gone, I ma learning techniques to quieten that inner critic and use an inner coach |
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Nothing to be ashamed of, in my 20s I could get a raging boner by snapping my fingers, as I approach 50 I'm more likely to snap my leg. I've no intention of slowing down so if I need the blue pill, or a shot of adrenaline, or a defibrillator, I'll use one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good to talk about this.
The blue pills sometimes work, sometimes don't and can leave me with a headache after.
For me penetration isn't everything. The use of oral and hands play a much bigger role in stimulating women and gives me just as much pleasure as my dick ever does.
You got to play the hand you are dealt, at the same time play to your strengths. |
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