FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Finding a swinging relationship
Finding a swinging relationship
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hey there lovely Fabsters,
So, before anyone starts, I KNOW Fab isn't a dating site....
I'm single and would love to find someone else into the lifestyle. I met my ex in a swinging club but now live somewhere there isn't any locally.
I'd love to know from couples how they met. I'm on the vanilla dating sites but it makes for tricky conversations and I don't want to waste my time with those not looking for something like this. I've tried the dating site for alternative lifestyles but everyone is poly and I don't want emotional connection to others. So I'm kinda stuck.
Someone give me words of encouragement before I give up! Please!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We met on here  Yes, we are both poly but neither of us were actually looking for relationship just a FWB, falling in love wasn't planned but we are very glad it happened.
Pxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fabs a what ever you want site so use it how you like
I agree, I was just expecting that as a reply!!! "
Ha ha I can be predictable when it comes to serton posts as I will never change my stance on them and this is one off thing things that I will never change my stance on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I met my husband on here, it's far more common than many believe. I know of at least 15 couples that met on here and are now married and many more in long term committed relationships. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met my husband on here, it's far more common than many believe. I know of at least 15 couples that met on here and are now married and many more in long term committed relationships. "
Nice to hear that lornajo x  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am low-key looking myself as am not a swinger by nature, but have zero assumptions of success finding a ltp in kink and life on fab. I don't like other sites for various reasons. I'm not giving up on here, but have put it on the back burner for now in favour of focusing on some other things.
If it crosses my path I'll enjoy it to the fullest.
Not wasting today feeling the lack though... there's living to be done  |
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I've been looking for a relationship on here for some time. I think it's the place I live that puts women off, even though I have said I'd be willing to move for the right woman, not right away obviously. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wouldn't it be good to have section of this site dedicated to people that want to find a relationship?"
I get that but I genuinely don't think it's need as people seem to find each other without a special section for dating. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wouldn't it be good to have section of this site dedicated to people that want to find a relationship?"
I could be wrong but I suspect you'd end up with possibly some then not being transparent that they're just looking for hookups, under the guise of stating they're open to a relationship. If they spotted someone they thought they might stand a better chance with saying they do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We met on here almost exactly 7 years ago. Despite living over 100 miles apart for much of that time we managed to make it work. We took a very long break from the scene though and are only just slowly making our way back into it.
.
MrWho. |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
people can meet anywhere thats life ... we know loads who met via here most dont last /some do just as in life elsewhere ... easy for a woman as they are the minority and have choice ... as for guys well theres zillions of them ...
it feels a common thing because on these forums you hear the success storys but when you work out how small the forums are that dont add to alot ... anyway likw i said anyone can fall in love anywhere if its right then its right |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I think you can find love anywhere, it's about finding the people you're compatible with and remaining open to things without trying to mold them in to your ideal from the get go.
I met my fiancé in a dungeon at a club night hosted by a couple of forum users. The oldmanfriend I met thanks to persistence (on his part  ) and a couple of random messages on subjects we're both interested in. I'm definitely a slow burner and tend to have walls up but sometimes it just works doesn't it? I'm looking forward to exploring things slowly - like moresomes etc but to get to that point and be in a relationship you need really solid foundations. Open communication. It's wonderful though.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In a mines of fab it can be cold and dark and the work can feel almost back breaking all that coal making you feel dirty all those hours of disapointment and then you see a flicker no its a twinkle you dig around it exposing the detail sweetheart your in a diamond mine 
One thing i learned from this place for all the nitwits numptys sausage factorys and big dopes theres a little bit of everything here but sometimes you gotta be willing to break your back n feel dirty to find it |
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"
In a mines of fab it can be cold and dark and the work can feel almost back breaking all that coal making you feel dirty all those hours of disapointment and then you see a flicker no its a twinkle you dig around it exposing the detail sweetheart your in a diamond mine
One thing i learned from this place for all the nitwits numptys sausage factorys and big dopes theres a little bit of everything here but sometimes you gotta be willing to break your back n feel dirty to find it "
It’s the The same for everything in life if you put the effort in they the rewards are so much sweeter 
|
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We met on here and it’s worked perfectly as we are both open minded and we are able to talk about anything and everything.
We both weren’t looking but I’d say it’s a perfect place to find someone as connecting sexually is one of the most important aspects of a relationship.
K |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We met on here and it’s worked perfectly as we are both open minded and we are able to talk about anything and everything.
We both weren’t looking but I’d say it’s a perfect place to find someone as connecting sexually is one of the most important aspects of a relationship.
K"
On the flip side, I suspect that for some people the great sexual connection blinds them to incompatibility in other, equally important in the long-term, areas. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
In a mines of fab it can be cold and dark and the work can feel almost back breaking all that coal making you feel dirty all those hours of disapointment and then you see a flicker no its a twinkle you dig around it exposing the detail sweetheart your in a diamond mine
One thing i learned from this place for all the nitwits numptys sausage factorys and big dopes theres a little bit of everything here but sometimes you gotta be willing to break your back n feel dirty to find it
It’s the The same for everything in life if you put the effort in they the rewards are so much sweeter
"
or its not a mine at all its just a cave full of bats  |
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I wasn’t on here looking for a / the relationship but..
It’s taken me years of searching for the right woman and having been on here in part as a white flag in that lost battle to find her, right when and where I least expected it.. wham! Smashed right in the old chap by exactly the woman I’d given up hope of finding.
I’m trying not cover you all in smush as this is not the *coughs* forum for that but despite it not being a place for dating and it not being a place I would recommend anyone look for love, I found it… so I guess it’s possible.
Go figure! |
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I'm a firm believer in the fact that you can't really 'look' for love or a relationship, and you can't force a connection, no matter how much you yearn for it. All you can do is put yourself in the position to meet plenty of new people to increase your chances of finding someone compatible...and Fab is as good a place as anywhere to meet new people.
I met himself on here, neither of us wanted a relationship, we were both very much enjoying ourselves sampling the various delights of the Fab buffet, and saw each other as a tasty morsel for a quick snack...but we both found each other moreish and kept going back for another nibble, and here we are over three years later and he's just brought me a cup of tea in bed. |
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It would be cool to find someone that shares the same interests and is open minded and not possessive, fab is a part of life, but not the whole of it, but I have certainly struggled when starting vanilla relationships (hate the word vanilla but there you go) and then being honest about my lifestyle choices, to be fair some have tried it, but it’s never really worked.
Finding someone on fab, may get over that first hurdle |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm a firm believer in the fact that you can't really 'look' for love or a relationship, and you can't force a connection, no matter how much you yearn for it. All you can do is put yourself in the position to meet plenty of new people to increase your chances of finding someone compatible...and Fab is as good a place as anywhere to meet new people.
I met himself on here, neither of us wanted a relationship, we were both very much enjoying ourselves sampling the various delights of the Fab buffet, and saw each other as a tasty morsel for a quick snack...but we both found each other moreish and kept going back for another nibble, and here we are over three years later and he's just brought me a cup of tea in bed. "
Absolutely, agree 100%
You simply have to be happy &whole and ready in your own self, enjoying living your own life as an individual before trying to become a pair.
A partner should add value and bring a new dimension to your life not be an attempt to fix it or make it liveable.
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I'm a firm believer in the fact that you can't really 'look' for love or a relationship, and you can't force a connection, no matter how much you yearn for it. All you can do is put yourself in the position to meet plenty of new people to increase your chances of finding someone compatible...and Fab is as good a place as anywhere to meet new people.
I met himself on here, neither of us wanted a relationship, we were both very much enjoying ourselves sampling the various delights of the Fab buffet, and saw each other as a tasty morsel for a quick snack...but we both found each other moreish and kept going back for another nibble, and here we are over three years later and he's just brought me a cup of tea in bed. "
Oh this is just 
If a (now reformed) manslut can find love on here, anyone can. |
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"I'm on the vanilla dating sites but it makes for tricky conversations and I don't want to waste my time with those not looking for something like this. I've tried the dating site for alternative lifestyles but everyone is poly and I don't want emotional connection to others. So I'm kinda stuck."
You know exactly what you're after and it's something very specific - what is it? Don't leave us guessing. Put it on your profiles. If you can afford to be open on your vanilla profiles, mention it right there that you'd like a swinging relationship - IMO you'd have your best offers there, counterintuitive though it sounds. On here, describe the dynamic you are after. On the alternative sites, same, give out details.
So from what I gather you are after a committed relationship that allows for sexual experimentation with others but no extra long-term partners? What kind of kink or swinging are you into? Firm it up, find a way to describe it. For your fabs profile I would delete everything and write it from scratch "here looking for a long term swinging relationship" etc etc - no apologies, no hookup language or talk of not meeting. If needed start a brand new account, the visibility boost could help too. Forget what most do and do your own thing. Good luck! |
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"Hey there lovely Fabsters,
So, before anyone starts, I KNOW Fab isn't a dating site....
I'm single and would love to find someone else into the lifestyle. I met my ex in a swinging club but now live somewhere there isn't any locally.
I'd love to know from couples how they met. I'm on the vanilla dating sites but it makes for tricky conversations and I don't want to waste my time with those not looking for something like this. I've tried the dating site for alternative lifestyles but everyone is poly and I don't want emotional connection to others. So I'm kinda stuck.
Someone give me words of encouragement before I give up! Please!!!"
We met here, her profile was very clear that she was looking for a relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We met here. Neither of us were looking for a relationship but wanted an FWB ideally. Now we are pretty inseparable.
Just be you, what will be, will be.
T |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This thread fills me with hope. It didnt think I was particulary kinky, but turns out I am so I wouldnt want to upset a more 'vanilla' potential husband on dating sites (the very thought of being on them fills me with horror). I shall just hang around here and see what happens, if anything ever does. The few long term friends I have made here, I love dearly and even though I dont get to keep them shows me there are my sort of people right here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This thread fills me with hope. It didnt think I was particulary kinky, but turns out I am so I wouldnt want to upset a more 'vanilla' potential husband on dating sites (the very thought of being on them fills me with horror). I shall just hang around here and see what happens, if anything ever does. The few long term friends I have made here, I love dearly and even though I dont get to keep them shows me there are my sort of people right here. "
^^this |
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It would be a lot easier to find a swinging relationship in here than going on POF or any other of the dating sites, putting down in your profile on a usual dating site that you're into swinging would probably put most of the women off and announce to anyone in your area that you were into it. So having a section in here would enable you to find women who were already into swinging without having to worry who saw it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would be nice if fab created a section for singles looking for a relationship or two
Totally agree Cherryblossom x"
Can we ask a forum mod it is possible ? |
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We met on bumble so it's possible to find a swinging relationship on there. I (James) told prospective dates that I was looking for a swinging relationship fairly early in conversation and some ran to the hills and others were intrigued. We are inseparable and loving our swinging journey and vanilla life too x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm on the vanilla dating sites but it makes for tricky conversations and I don't want to waste my time with those not looking for something like this. I've tried the dating site for alternative lifestyles but everyone is poly and I don't want emotional connection to others. So I'm kinda stuck.
You know exactly what you're after and it's something very specific - what is it? Don't leave us guessing. Put it on your profiles. If you can afford to be open on your vanilla profiles, mention it right there that you'd like a swinging relationship - IMO you'd have your best offers there, counterintuitive though it sounds. On here, describe the dynamic you are after. On the alternative sites, same, give out details.
So from what I gather you are after a committed relationship that allows for sexual experimentation with others but no extra long-term partners? What kind of kink or swinging are you into? Firm it up, find a way to describe it. For your fabs profile I would delete everything and write it from scratch "here looking for a long term swinging relationship" etc etc - no apologies, no hookup language or talk of not meeting. If needed start a brand new account, the visibility boost could help too. Forget what most do and do your own thing. Good luck!"
I did try that. May well do again
|
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We met on here… wasn’t what we were ‘looking for’ as such but it happened and happened naturally and was amazing. Two years in and it’s the best relationship I’ve ever been in.
You never know what can happen when you least expect it 
Mrs x |
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By *arkjackMan
over a year ago
West Cork |
As it says on my profile, I'm not necessarily disambiguating between dating and sex, so if we like each other enough it's not a problem to progress to marriage.
With the slight modification that we have a sexy swinging wedding of course.  |
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Well met my last 2 partners at swingers clubs just started off as a hi and nice to see you again and a chat then moves in on
A lady friend talked about going to more clubs but felt a bit shy on her own so we started going different clubs worked for her having some one keeping an eye on her and me going in with out membership so was a win win and things moved on from there
Another friend I met and well was very much can I have your number and txt you some time and she said yes so yeah worked out well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would love to find a guy I could have a relationship with on here but so far I've not had much luck in finding someone that fits in with what I'm looking for or who is totally honest about who they are ect, maybe one day the right one will come along |
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