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How to stop being a stress monkey
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
Sometimes it helps to make a list or a spider diagram with all the stresses, then a list of priorities, odepending on the severity of the impact. Often stresses are interlinked and related.
Most important is the recognition that no stress is lessened by worrying about it.
CBT and the way it looks at automated responses to triggers etc sometimes helps.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You need to list the things that are causing the stress and try to solve a couple of them if possible or lessen them. I don;t think you can totally rid yourself if it but it helps. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I find this crazy i hve a stressfull job as a store manager but never feel stressed about anything work or not anymore layed back and id fall over"
That is good if you can take a stressful job and not respond to the stresses in a negative and self destructive way. Stress is a very subjective thing, what constitutes big time stress for one person, does not even feature on another person's horizon. It is important to take all stress serisouly for it does have such a negative impact on your mental and physical help.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be stress free you have to be selfish. That's it in a nutshell basically. If you are an empathetic person who worries about other people, or how other people perceive you, then it's nigh on impossible not to stress about it.
I'm not totally selfish in so much as I care about those closest to me but I don't concern myself with things that happen to other people whose names I don't even know, or things happening in other parts of the world. That's not to say that I don't disagree with general concensus regarding atrocities or people who are murdered etc, those things do appall me but I can't change those events so I won't get worked up about them.
Like I said, an element of selfishness is required to live as much a stress-free life as possible. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"To be stress free you have to be selfish. That's it in a nutshell basically. If you are an empathetic person who worries about other people, or how other people perceive you, then it's nigh on impossible not to stress about it.
I'm not totally selfish in so much as I care about those closest to me but I don't concern myself with things that happen to other people whose names I don't even know, or things happening in other parts of the world. That's not to say that I don't disagree with general concensus regarding atrocities or people who are murdered etc, those things do appall me but I can't change those events so I won't get worked up about them.
Like I said, an element of selfishness is required to live as much a stress-free life as possible."
You have a point there, Wishy. A very selfish person is less likely to get stressed about other people's concerns.
Maybe there is a middle ground which is not being completely selfish and yet not being completely unselfish if that makes sense?
Re Jane's comment... music is an immese stress buster for me, too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hypnotherapy! bloody brilliant, I had some years ago and after every session, was as chilled as a chilled thing for daaays.
Not sure about long term, but I did love those times after a visit - nothing could upset me, it was great  |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Its not being selfish i have shit days but think jow lucky we really are compared to others spend an hour with my kids and everything is rosy x"
I did not think of you and your post as being selfish - it sounded very balanced and grounded to me.  |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
I agree with writing them down. Once you have unloaded them onto that piece of paper. Some of them won't seem half as bad. You can then focus on solving some of them, without the rest cluttering up your thoughts |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hypnotherapy! bloody brilliant, I had some years ago and after every session, was as chilled as a chilled thing for daaays."
I tried hypnotherapy but ended up just laying there wondering what I was supposed to be feeling.
It didn't work for me at all. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A wise person once told me " don't worry about things you have no control over, or things that may never happen"
That can cut a lot of it out.
A  "
My tension pays no heed to logic, however sensible. |
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"For some people meditation can help as well
Diazepam works but unfortunately my doctor won't let me have any, the great meanie pants.  "
Auntie karen has a cupboard full of medication that is better than diazepam. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For some people meditation can help as well
Diazepam works but unfortunately my doctor won't let me have any, the great meanie pants. "
Change yer doctor  |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"For some people meditation can help as well
Diazepam works but unfortunately my doctor won't let me have any, the great meanie pants. "
I was the one suggesting meditation... but agree sometimes medication is necessary and helpful. |
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Ask yourself what can u change or influence and work on those. Disregard the rest..... I have empathy and sympathy but if its not in my power to help. I am fine with that...
Sooze tries to help everyone... And ends up getting upset....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"For some people meditation can help as well
Diazepam works but unfortunately my doctor won't let me have any, the great meanie pants. I was the one suggesting meditation... but agree sometimes medication is necessary and helpful. "
I was accidentally on purpose misreading it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"For some people meditation can help as well
Diazepam works but unfortunately my doctor won't let me have any, the great meanie pants.
Auntie karen has a cupboard full of medication that is better than diazepam. "
Please pm me the teleporter co-ordinates! |
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By *mileyBWoman
over a year ago
Northwood |
"Sometimes it helps to make a list or a spider diagram with all the stresses, then a list of priorities, odepending on the severity of the impact. Often stresses are interlinked and related.
Most important is the recognition that no stress is lessened by worrying about it.
CBT and the way it looks at automated responses to triggers etc sometimes helps.
"
You knid of saaid what I was about to say.
Would certainly agree that stress doesn't improve any situation so rather a futile waste of energy.
CBT is ab fab if you can get your GP to refer you but on NHS 3 sessions is you rlimit and it's pricey privately but much more useful than councelling. It' It basically gives you the toolkit to survive life's ups and downs .. the ups and downs will never stop so yu have to change how you cope with them.
Try 'Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Dummies' self help guide which is hilarious, easy to follow and practical and much cheaper.
I also find when you're really on the brink and about to self combust with stress ... try Kalms.
Ease up on stimulants, caffeine etc and by the same token don't use depressants (alcohol) as a crutch. we all destress with a glass or two but watch your habits or you're creating more problems.
Distract yourself by doing things which make you happy. |
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By *orkieMan
over a year ago
Who knows |
"work for a full year doing your own job and two other peoples at the same time,then collapse with chest pains = six weeks off work and lots and lots of tests"
Learn how to say "No" is what I usually advise, either that or ask for a comparible pay increase |
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I agree that cbt is m excellent idea. But dont rely on only needing a few sessions. Ive been doing it for ten years and i have improved from what i was like before.
Dont know about different areas but there was an 18months list to go in the nhs in my area |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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cant believe noones said sex, or having a wank! i also bake cakes, smoke and actively seek to make my life as stress free as possible. today is the tommorrow we worried about yesterday and all is well. xxx |
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just go out on me bike with the radio for a few hours and its all sorted and im chilled again .. i used to do long distance running but as age is catching up with me find the bike alot easier on the joints ! |
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By *mileyBWoman
over a year ago
Northwood |
"For some people meditation can help as well
Diazepam works but unfortunately my doctor won't let me have any, the great meanie pants.
Auntie karen has a cupboard full of medication that is better than diazepam.
Please pm me the teleporter co-ordinates! "
*Big Loud X-Factor Buzzer* - don't get curious about Diazepam, you're unlikely to get any from you rgP anyway but it's high;y addictive and doesn't solve anything - learn to cope instead.  |
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"For some people meditation can help as well
Diazepam works but unfortunately my doctor won't let me have any, the great meanie pants.
Auntie karen has a cupboard full of medication that is better than diazepam. "
I have some pethedine left over from mum.. havent had a need to take it tho.
I dont have trouble getting diazapam from my doc cos I use it for my back sometimes.
I been off meds since May and still as chilled as i was on them. Great ..Im lucky.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally work wise I strive off stress, it is what makes me tick.
Otherwise other stresses I face, I use music, chatting to friends, relaxation, time to myself....I can be a stress bunny but only on a personal front.
I try to tackle that with reasoning, easy for me to say, yes, but hope you sort things out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Drive my car with very loud music and sing along to it at the top of my voice.
Walk the dog.
Hug the pets.
Stroke the cat while she purrs on my lap.
Practice my tap dance routines.
Eat and drink whatever I fancy.
Etc. etc...
Very chill here, after a nice dance class, been out to walk the dog in the cold, and am drinking a nice cup of hot Ribena.
Life is grand!  |
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By *umsuckMan
over a year ago
Gateshead |
Might sound silly but I have an old pillow in cupboard that when I get really stressed I bring out and,well basicaly kick the shit out of it. Gets rid of the frustration,aggresive feeling, tension and tires me out so that I sleep soundly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone managed it?
How does one learn to relax and be more chilled out?"
I found that coming off Microgynon and going on to a different combined pill (Ovysmen in my case) chilled me out significantly. And it wasn't coincidental...whilst on holiday one I didn't have my usual pill with me an had to buy Microgynon and the bitch was back! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"For some people meditation can help as well
Diazepam works but unfortunately my doctor won't let me have any, the great meanie pants.
Auntie karen has a cupboard full of medication that is better than diazepam.
Please pm me the teleporter co-ordinates!
*Big Loud X-Factor Buzzer* - don't get curious about Diazepam, you're unlikely to get any from you rgP anyway but it's high;y addictive and doesn't solve anything - learn to cope instead. "
I wasn't being serious, hence the tongue in cheek "meanie pants" comment.
I only know what the effects are as it's been prescribed for me a couple of times (short term!) for use as a muscle relaxant following injuries.
If relaxing was as simple as popping pills, and I was willing to do that, I wouldn't have started this thread to discuss relaxation methods. |
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