FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Anyone feel like this?

Anyone feel like this?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Just been to the shop to get my breakfast. One guy running towards me on his morning run, stops right next to me and did a triple take look at my boobs. He didn't even acknowledge me in any other way! That's the worst bit. Like I'm just a pair of tits for him to gawp at when I'm just going about my daily life. They're not exposed in any way, I've got a tee shirt bra on and a long sleeve high neck loose fitting top.

It happens everywhere, every day, work, in the street, shop, pub, Whatever I wear. I suppose They're 'big' but not in comparison to some.

It's starting to make me really self conscious, most times I just brush it off, other times it makes me really angry.

Does anyone else get like this?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nope, when I see fit runners I just imaging them all hot and sweaty on top of me, going the extra mile!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd have tripped him up, then told him to look where he was going instead of at my boobs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m sorry OP.

Sending you lots of love today. Your feelings are valid. And important. And unfortunately relatable for many women.

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By *lackroses85Woman over a year ago

Between Norwich & Yarmouth

"Just been to the shop to get my breakfast. One guy running towards me on his morning run, stops right next to me and did a triple take look at my boobs. He didn't even acknowledge me in any other way! That's the worst bit. Like I'm just a pair of tits for him to gawp at when I'm just going about my daily life. They're not exposed in any way, I've got a tee shirt bra on and a long sleeve high neck loose fitting top.

It happens everywhere, every day, work, in the street, shop, pub, Whatever I wear. I suppose They're 'big' but not in comparison to some.

It's starting to make me really self conscious, most times I just brush it off, other times it makes me really angry.

Does anyone else get like this? "

Yep I get like this and even on here when guys message speaking to me like I'm a piece of meat expecting me to just drop my knickers xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I’m sorry OP.

Sending you lots of love today. Your feelings are valid. And important. And unfortunately relatable for many women.

Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. To feel understood

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In London there are signs everywhere about "visual sexual harassment" people are in fear of looking at others anymore. I look at people, I like eye contact. I enjoy looking at pretty things. Sometimes I look at cock bulges in grey sweats. Udually it is veiny arms. Sometimes isolating the area is more aesthetically pleasing then the whole package.

Just a different perspective.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"In London there are signs everywhere about "visual sexual harassment" people are in fear of looking at others anymore. I look at people, I like eye contact. I enjoy looking at pretty things. Sometimes I look at cock bulges in grey sweats. Udually it is veiny arms. Sometimes isolating the area is more aesthetically pleasing then the whole package.

Just a different perspective. "

Yes I understand why people look.

Thing is I don't want to feel like a sex object all day every day. It's diminishing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just a different perspective. "

But staring at someone’s breasts, triple taking is definitely at least going to make someone feel like they’re being objectified. And I think men need to be mindful of how that affects women. And how even staring sexually or at sexualised parts of women’s bodies make women feel uncomfortable. Idk.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just a different perspective.

Yes I understand why people look.

Thing is I don't want to feel like a sex object all day every day. It's diminishing. "

I fully get that. No one should have to. I do tend look at people and things I find attractive and not give much thought afterwards.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes and I totally understand where your coming from op ,just do the death stare that works for me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't think I've ever caught anyone looking at my boobs or me in general, I guess if it's always happening to you, it would get annoying

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just a different perspective.

No doubt. Do men feel the same way about women over staring?

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By *lephantisMan over a year ago

Oxford

Nothing to add to what others have said: it's not right, it shows a lack of self-control in the goggler, and you shouldn't have to feel like this.

Looking isn't the problem: a glance, perhaps a nod or smile of appreciation, then looking away, is fine. Sexual attraction begins visually for most. But to continue to stare? That's not flirting: it's proprietorial, and misogynistic, however unconsciously, unless there is clear consent.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just a different perspective.

No doubt. Do men feel the same way about women over staring?

My feelings are that I’d doesn’t play into a wider culture of objectification that is constantly reproduced. And it doesn’t contribute to a general fear of gendered sexual violence. (Not that the OP feels this way but that many women do feel about these things).

I guess men may quite like it. They may not. But it definitely doesn’t happen as often to men as it does for women and so I think there will automatically be a different feeling on it when it DOES happen.

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By *ily WhiteWoman over a year ago

At my age, and having had sizeable breasts from a young age, I've grown accustomed to this being the norm...much as there is a valid argument that I shouldn't have to, for me this has been a part of my life for a very long time. Men, in my experience, are generally very visual creatures, so I tend to look at it as a non verbal compliment, they like what they see. I learnt a long time ago to use it to my advantage whenever possible, turn the tables to get what I want while they're distracted by a bit of cleavage. The only times that it sometimes irks me is at work, being spoken to like I'm a bit of a bimbo because of how I look when I'm performing better than some of my male counterparts, and having to work harder to gain credibility.

I also don't personally know any women that aren't guilty of having an appreciative glance at a man they find attractive every so often.

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple over a year ago

Weymouth

Can relate to this big time. I wear high neck tops most days and it doesn't stop it

sending love x

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By *lephantisMan over a year ago

Oxford

I don't think anyone is criticising 'an appreciative glance every now and then'!

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I'd have tripped him up, then told him to look where he was going instead of at my boobs

Yep

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By *istyPeaksCouple over a year ago

braintree

Just for the last 30 years. It used to bother me as a young lady.

Looks & glances don’t bother me in the slightest. That’s human.

But the predators- they don’t tend to come away unscathed. I have 3 daughters and I don’t want them to feel the way I used to.

And it’s not just men that do it. The overwhelming majority, but there are more female creeps out there than I thought.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just a different perspective.

Yes I understand why people look.

Thing is I don't want to feel like a sex object all day every day. It's diminishing.

I fully get that. No one should have to. I do tend look at people and things I find attractive and not give much thought afterwards. "

Well I use the Even at work regularly and it's not just looking it's also touching. It's amazing how many times a man accidentally brushes my bum or my boobs when they are going through the barriers or stood near me on a train, women however seem to manage not to do this to me.

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I don’t think I really notice. I get a few glances but I suppose I’d have to be staring right at them to know where they’re looking which I don’t tend to do so I don’t know really. Your experience is a bit weird though yeah.

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By *affeine DuskMan over a year ago

Caerphilly

"Yes and I totally understand where your coming from op ,just do the death stare that works for me"

My friend does this when she's out running.

She practices it. It's terrifying

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just a different perspective.

Yes I understand why people look.

Thing is I don't want to feel like a sex object all day every day. It's diminishing.

I fully get that. No one should have to. I do tend look at people and things I find attractive and not give much thought afterwards.

*tube network

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By *ackformore100Man over a year ago

Tin town

It happens everywhere, every day, work, in the street, shop, pub, Whatever I wear. I suppose They're 'big' but not in comparison to some.

It's starting to make me really self conscious, most times I just brush it off, other times it makes me really angry.

Does anyone else get like this? "

I still can't get my head around this type of overt behaviour. Its so far from the way I was brought up and seems to be either getting worse or just being acknowledged a bit more now. Probably both. I have no idea how you would best respond to that or process it op... I guess everyone is different. We aren't all like that if that is any reassurance to you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Its probably cuz u look stunning. Curves in right places.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

People stare at me, probably for different reasons. There doesn't seem to be much I can do about it, so I hold my head up high and just get on with things......

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Its probably cuz u look stunning. Curves in right places. "

So that gives somebody the right to stare and make someone else feel uncomfortable?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I don’t think I really notice. I get a few glances but I suppose I’d have to be staring right at them to know where they’re looking which I don’t tend to do so I don’t know really. Your experience is a bit weird though yeah. "

It was weird because he stopped his run a few paces before we went passed each other, so I looked at him, nodded and smiled in acknowledgement..he did did the boob thing. Fucks me off. I find it rude. Like have the manners to at least recognise me as a person not just something to gawp at.

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By *oft_SensualTV/TS over a year ago

Yorkshire

The difference between objectification/gratification and admiration is sometimes overt, sometimes subtle. Segmenting women's bodies and identities isn't acceptable.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

If it was the odd occasion I wouldn't mind so much, but feels like it's all the bloody time! Can't step out of my house without it happening

My local pub there was one guy in there who made no attempt at subtly. Even said to me "I shouldn't keep them under wraps", ffs.

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By *ackformore100Man over a year ago

Tin town

"Its probably cuz u look stunning. Curves in right places.

So that gives somebody the right to stare and make someone else feel uncomfortable? "

Thing is though lorna.. Nobody can control how someone else is feeling about an interaction. All they can control is what they do. And make a judgement of if what they are doing is OK or not.

Human nature is to look and listen and experience the things around us... A car, a building, a pair of shoes, yes other people... Where can we draw line.?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If it was the odd occasion I wouldn't mind so much, but feels like it's all the bloody time! Can't step out of my house without it happening

My local pub there was one guy in there who made no attempt at subtly. Even said to me "I shouldn't keep them under wraps", ffs. "

Jesus.

OP.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Its probably cuz u look stunning. Curves in right places. "

If you apply zero logic this make sense

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By *icolerobbieCouple over a year ago

walsall

No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”"

Lol.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If it was the odd occasion I wouldn't mind so much, but feels like it's all the bloody time! Can't step out of my house without it happening

My local pub there was one guy in there who made no attempt at subtly. Even said to me "I shouldn't keep them under wraps", ffs. "

Ewwww gross.

I honestly think it's because a lot of men think these kinds of things are compliments, and that we'll appreciate being told them.

Just look at the kinds of messages we mostly get on here. I think a lot of people genuinely don't realise they're being creepy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If it was the odd occasion I wouldn't mind so much, but feels like it's all the bloody time! Can't step out of my house without it happening

My local pub there was one guy in there who made no attempt at subtly. Even said to me "I shouldn't keep them under wraps", ffs.

Ewwww gross.

I honestly think it's because a lot of men think these kinds of things are compliments, and that we'll appreciate being told them.

Just look at the kinds of messages we mostly get on here. I think a lot of people genuinely don't realise they're being creepy. "

Men definitely don’t realise why a woman would be creeped out or annoyed or frustrated by these comments for sure. Well some do and don’t care but yeah

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If it was the odd occasion I wouldn't mind so much, but feels like it's all the bloody time! Can't step out of my house without it happening

My local pub there was one guy in there who made no attempt at subtly. Even said to me "I shouldn't keep them under wraps", ffs.

Ewwww gross.

I honestly think it's because a lot of men think these kinds of things are compliments, and that we'll appreciate being told them.

Just look at the kinds of messages we mostly get on here. I think a lot of people genuinely don't realise they're being creepy.

Men definitely don’t realise why a woman would be creeped out or annoyed or frustrated by these comments for sure. Well some do and don’t care but yeah "

Maybe it's because they'd like it if they got comments like that off women?

Not making excuses, just pondering...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”"

Isn't it awful that women now say they don't want to be objectified and made to feel uncomfortable by strangers in the street. What is the world coming to!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't mind people looking. I'm used to men and even women constantly having a glance at my tits. I do wear tight tops often, and my tits can really stand out.

A glance doesn't bother me. It's when people go out of their way to stare and you know they are thinking deeply about you... that's when I get uncomfortable. A few days ago a guy got too close and almost broke his neck looking. I saw him staring from across the road, he then crossed over to me and his eyes literally got down to my chest level to have a look.

I think most of us are guilty of having a glance, even if it's at someone's face. And as much as it might feel a bit shitty, especially when focused on a body part, I don't think it's that harmful. But once it lingers on or they make a comment it does cross a line.

I don't know what to suggest because it won't ever stop happening unfortunately. Sending a virtual hug.

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”"

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke. "

Men can speak to women and look at women they just need to do it in an appropriate and respectful way.

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

I feel like I would need to see them before commenting OP

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If it was the odd occasion I wouldn't mind so much, but feels like it's all the bloody time! Can't step out of my house without it happening

My local pub there was one guy in there who made no attempt at subtly. Even said to me "I shouldn't keep them under wraps", ffs.

Ewwww gross.

I honestly think it's because a lot of men think these kinds of things are compliments, and that we'll appreciate being told them.

Just look at the kinds of messages we mostly get on here. I think a lot of people genuinely don't realise they're being creepy.

Men definitely don’t realise why a woman would be creeped out or annoyed or frustrated by these comments for sure. Well some do and don’t care but yeah

Maybe it's because they'd like it if they got comments like that off women?

Not making excuses, just pondering... "

Perhaps but again I don’t think they would if it came with the context of women’s experiences of being objectified constantly or of the threat of gendered sexualised violence. But I don’t think men even consider those things

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke. "

Yeah truss. Super tough being a man. Can’t even objectify women like we used to.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke. "

It's not about being a man or a woman, it's about knowing how to treat other humans with basic respect.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

That was outright rude not to mention intimidating.

We had a social once with a couple. I went to kiss the guy on the cheek, he held me at arm's length and looked me up and down appraisingly as if I was some object he was considering buying. That single incident made my decision about things going further.

I don't know if these people intend to objectivise you because they feel it gives them the upper hand but dehumanising another person in that way speaks volumes about them and I hope your running guy gets explosive diarrhea in a public toilet with no lock on the door, no toilet paper, nowhere to wash his hands and white shorts.

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

Yeah truss. Super tough being a man. Can’t even objectify women like we used to.

Nope. You can’t I’m afraid. Although how that’s relevant to my comment I’m not sure. As that’s not what I said.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"That was outright rude not to mention intimidating.

Runners get muddy. I hope it happens when it’s less easy to hide

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

Yeah truss. Super tough being a man. Can’t even objectify women like we used to.

Nope. You can’t I’m afraid. Although how that’s relevant to my comment I’m not sure. As that’s not what I said. "

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple over a year ago

chester

This has literally never happened to me. I won’t ever complain about my non-generous boobage! No one ever stares at my chest, winner

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

Yeah truss. Super tough being a man. Can’t even objectify women like we used to.

Nope. You can’t I’m afraid. Although how that’s relevant to my comment I’m not sure. As that’s not what I said. "

It definitely came across that way as did the posters above that you were replying to and agreeing with.

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

Yeah truss. Super tough being a man. Can’t even objectify women like we used to.

Nope. You can’t I’m afraid. Although how that’s relevant to my comment I’m not sure. As that’s not what I said.

Oh another emoji. How original of you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

Yeah truss. Super tough being a man. Can’t even objectify women like we used to.

Nope. You can’t I’m afraid. Although how that’s relevant to my comment I’m not sure. As that’s not what I said.

Oh another emoji. How original of you "

Why do you feel the need to be derogatory?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

It's not about being a man or a woman, it's about knowing how to treat other humans with basic respect."

I agree. It’s gross and disrespectful. You’re not the only one it happens to op.

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

Yeah truss. Super tough being a man. Can’t even objectify women like we used to.

Nope. You can’t I’m afraid. Although how that’s relevant to my comment I’m not sure. As that’s not what I said.

It definitely came across that way as did the posters above that you were replying to and agreeing with."

It came across as me saying men should be able to objectify women? Ok Lorna

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke. "

I’ve been social distancing before it became a thing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

Yeah truss. Super tough being a man. Can’t even objectify women like we used to.

Nope. You can’t I’m afraid. Although how that’s relevant to my comment I’m not sure. As that’s not what I said.

It definitely came across that way as did the posters above that you were replying to and agreeing with.

It came across as me saying men should be able to objectify women? Ok Lorna "

It did come across that way. You very clearly agreed with someone who said that's why men stay away from women. You have literally just told someone off for saying OK and then done exactly the same thing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/10/22 10:38:13]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

* Bad spelling. Above. I know.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/10/22 10:38:05]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

Yeah truss. Super tough being a man. Can’t even objectify women like we used to.

Nope. You can’t I’m afraid. Although how that’s relevant to my comment I’m not sure. As that’s not what I said.

Oh another emoji. How original of you "

Get that hate out your heart, man.

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

Yeah truss. Super tough being a man. Can’t even objectify women like we used to.

Nope. You can’t I’m afraid. Although how that’s relevant to my comment I’m not sure. As that’s not what I said.

It definitely came across that way as did the posters above that you were replying to and agreeing with.

It came across as me saying men should be able to objectify women? Ok Lorna

I said what I said. It’s clear what I said. I’m not arguing with you!

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

Yeah truss. Super tough being a man. Can’t even objectify women like we used to.

Nope. You can’t I’m afraid. Although how that’s relevant to my comment I’m not sure. As that’s not what I said.

Oh another emoji. How original of you

Get that hate out your heart, man.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Where do I look when she’s gone to the effort of looking amazing with her low cut dress, her push up bra, and wearing the necklace she chose from the jewellers I took her to?

I think some women are open to compliments from men and would like there sexiness to be noticed, some women don’t.

Hence the op in a t-shirt going about her day, and has a stranger from nowhere staring. (If he did stare? ) because that’s the thing - Some men will glance at something that catches their eye and some will gawp!

I wear sunglasses now.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

Yeah truss. Super tough being a man. Can’t even objectify women like we used to.

Nope. You can’t I’m afraid. Although how that’s relevant to my comment I’m not sure. As that’s not what I said.

It definitely came across that way as did the posters above that you were replying to and agreeing with.

It came across as me saying men should be able to objectify women? Ok Lorna "

Men feel like the message is ‘Don’t even look at us’. On a thread about a woman being objectified and that being called out. And then saying if you were a guy you’d not even look at women. The implication is clear. Come on

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When I run and I see someone attractive - I will flash a smile - in this day and age anything more is bordering creepy and will get a reaction… so eyes down or a smile… (I think being a brown bearded man has some negative connotations these days)

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Where do I look when she’s gone to the effort of looking amazing with her low cut dress, her push up bra, and wearing the necklace she chose from the jewellers I took her to?

I think some women are open to compliments from men and would like there sexiness to be noticed, some women don’t.

I wear sunglasses now.

Exactly. What some women think is too much some women won’t. I’ve already said what happened to the op was weird.

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple over a year ago

chester

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

Yeah truss. Super tough being a man. Can’t even objectify women like we used to.

Nope. You can’t I’m afraid. Although how that’s relevant to my comment I’m not sure. As that’s not what I said.

It definitely came across that way as did the posters above that you were replying to and agreeing with.

It came across as me saying men should be able to objectify women? Ok Lorna

I said what I said. It’s clear what I said. I’m not arguing with you!"

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By *ustBoWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I can't say I've ever had it happen to me not that I've noticed anyhow and I have pretty big boobs . I've had the odd inappropriate comment to me and I'll just tell them to cop on and grow the hell up. Which usually to be fair they end up apologising for when pulled on it. But apart from that ye I can't even remember the last time anything like that happened to me even when I was younger.

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By *uitednbooted2Man over a year ago

Berkshire

I’m too old for this thread

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

It happens everywhere, every day, work, in the street, shop, pub, Whatever I wear. I suppose They're 'big' but not in comparison to some.

It's starting to make me really self conscious, most times I just brush it off, other times it makes me really angry.

Does anyone else get like this? "
sorry on behalf of all the boob appreciating blokes out here ...

I think at least a smile and a good morning would have been more appropriate....

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Where do I look when she’s gone to the effort of looking amazing with her low cut dress, her push up bra, and wearing the necklace she chose from the jewellers I took her to?

I think some women are open to compliments from men and would like there sexiness to be noticed, some women don’t.

I wear sunglasses now.

What the man in the op did was not a compliment in any universe.

There's a huge difference between complimenting a woman you know and doing what this running guy did.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When I run and I see someone attractive - I will flash a smile - in this day and age anything more is bordering creepy and will get a reaction… so eyes down or a smile… (I think being a brown bearded man has some negative connotations these days)"

Oh for sure. I see you man.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Where do I look when she’s gone to the effort of looking amazing with her low cut dress, her push up bra, and wearing the necklace she chose from the jewellers I took her to?

I think some women are open to compliments from men and would like there sexiness to be noticed, some women don’t.

I wear sunglasses now.

What the man in the op did was not a compliment in any universe.

There's a huge difference between complimenting a woman you know and doing what this running guy did.

Exactly.

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By *TG3Man over a year ago

Dorchester

It happens everywhere, every day, work, in the street, shop, pub, Whatever I wear. I suppose They're 'big' but not in comparison to some.

It's starting to make me really self conscious, most times I just brush it off, other times it makes me really angry.

Does anyone else get like this? "
yes I get this with women staring at my legs they don't look up lol to see I'm watching them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm trying to find my way through the minefield of fab.

So it's not ok to look at boobs in the street, but it's ok to wank over boob pics on here? Is that the jist of it?

Modern life is so confusing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Also we’re missing that lots of women say this happens to them all the time and the OP actually said that as well. Don’t know why it’s turned into a pity party for men.

Disappointed but not surprised.

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By *JandCMCouple over a year ago

cardiff

It happens everywhere, every day, work, in the street, shop, pub, Whatever I wear. I suppose They're 'big' but not in comparison to some.

It's starting to make me really self conscious, most times I just brush it off, other times it makes me really angry.

Does anyone else get like this? "

Your in Newport, your lucky it wasn't one of the many junkies n they didn't try n mug you.

I alway hate waking round Newport day or night.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm trying to find my way through the minefield of fab.

So it's not ok to look at boobs in the street, but it's ok to wank over boob pics on here? Is that the jist of it?

Modern life is so confusing "

What is confusing about it? A woman who puts a picture of her breasts on a site like this is clearly inviting people to look, A woman going about her day walking down the street wearing a T-shirt is not inviting you to gawp at her. I'm not sure how that's a minefield.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

To men who don't get it

You are allowed to look at, talk to, smile at and otherwise engage with women. *In a respectful and pleasant manner*

You are not allowed (and frankly I don't understand why you have a problem understanding this) to assume that a woman who has breasts and you are not entitled to act all hurt and offended because she objects to your frankly crass advances.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"I'm trying to find my way through the minefield of fab.

So it's not ok to look at boobs in the street, but it's ok to wank over boob pics on here? Is that the jist of it?

Modern life is so confusing "

How is this confusing to you?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/10/22 10:51:09]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To men who don't get it

You are allowed to look at, talk to, smile at and otherwise engage with women. *In a respectful and pleasant manner*

I don’t understand why men and women can’t understand that it’s inappropriate, but well said

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By *ackformore100Man over a year ago

Tin town

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

Men can speak to women and look at women they just need to do it in an appropriate and respectful way. "

And who sets the measurement for what is appropriate and or respectful?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Where do I look when she’s gone to the effort of looking amazing with her low cut dress, her push up bra, and wearing the necklace she chose from the jewellers I took her to?

I think some women are open to compliments from men and would like there sexiness to be noticed, some women don’t.

I wear sunglasses now.

What the man in the op did was not a compliment in any universe.

There's a huge difference between complimenting a woman you know and doing what this running guy did.

I didn’t say what the man did was a compliment. But every time I read these ‘stories’, I feel it’s a narrative for their view that a guy shouldn’t ever compliment or look at a woman for how she looks. ?!?

I said, to Gawp at a stranger is a little ‘wierd’, compared to someone who might just ‘notice’ a nice figure.

Men will talk around a table or answer on these threads that we do t actually know the rules of engagement anymore. To offer a drink is wrong in sone strong independent woman’s eyes. How do I know that? They need to wear badges that say - do t look or talk to me, when I want a man I’ll come and find one!’

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm a woman, I like women. I.look at women and sometimes I make a comment or a complement on their looks, outfit or fragrance. Not once has it ever been taken in a bad way. I always get a smile and a thank you. Would I have got the same response if I was a man? What response would I have got if I was a very attractive man or a physically undesirable man.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

Men can speak to women and look at women they just need to do it in an appropriate and respectful way.

And who sets the measurement for what is appropriate and or respectful? "

Do you think that the actions the OP has described where appropriate?

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By *appytaffWoman over a year ago

blackwood

Day to day today I never ever get looked at . However my chest photo on here draws comments

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

It happens everywhere, every day, work, in the street, shop, pub, Whatever I wear. I suppose They're 'big' but not in comparison to some.

It's starting to make me really self conscious, most times I just brush it off, other times it makes me really angry.

Does anyone else get like this?

Your in Newport, your lucky it wasn't one of the many junkies n they didn't try n mug you.

I alway hate waking round Newport day or night."

The location on my profile is not my true location

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm trying to find my way through the minefield of fab.

So it's not ok to look at boobs in the street, but it's ok to wank over boob pics on here? Is that the jist of it?

Modern life is so confusing

Also, wanking over a woman’s picture on the internet in private is different. But not sure it’s ok with with everyone if you say, told them that’s what you’re doing.

It’s not that tough to just be respectful.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm trying to find my way through the minefield of fab.

So it's not ok to look at boobs in the street, but it's ok to wank over boob pics on here? Is that the jist of it?

Modern life is so confusing

The minefield comment referred to this site in general.

So it's ok to look at women in the street who are on here with their tits on show?

I will modify my behaviour accordingly.

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By *uitednbooted2Man over a year ago

Berkshire

"I'm trying to find my way through the minefield of fab.

So it's not ok to look at boobs in the street, but it's ok to wank over boob pics on here? Is that the jist of it?

Modern life is so confusing

I agree with you btw. However recently I came across the office to speak with two female colleagues sat at there desks . As there was not a third chair I sat on the desk. I noticed them smirking at eachother and one was blatantly staring at my crotch. I does happen both ways you know.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"To men who don't get it

You are allowed to look at, talk to, smile at and otherwise engage with women. *In a respectful and pleasant manner*

Right let me put my cross typing errors right.

*You are not allowed (and frankly I don't understand why you have a problem understanding this)to assume that a woman who has breasts is some sexual object to be outright ogled and leered at*

And breathe

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

I’ve read the term ‘women don’t like being looked at’ quite a bit on this thread but yet a quick scroll through the comments and I can see quite a lot of tits, arses, bikinis, bodysuits and nakedness from female avatars. Make your mind up, it’s either look at you or not. You can’t have one foot in both camps and complain.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"I'm trying to find my way through the minefield of fab.

So it's not ok to look at boobs in the street, but it's ok to wank over boob pics on here? Is that the jist of it?

Modern life is so confusing

The minefield comment referred to this site in general.

So it's ok to look at women in the street who are on here with their tits on show?

I will modify my behaviour accordingly."

What do you mean?

You understand context and appropriate time and place right? Or are you playing devils advocate?

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By *ackformore100Man over a year ago

Tin town

"Where do I look when she’s gone to the effort of looking amazing with her low cut dress, her push up bra, and wearing the necklace she chose from the jewellers I took her to?

I think some women are open to compliments from men and would like there sexiness to be noticed, some women don’t.

I wear sunglasses now.

Or are they those magic xray glasses?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think I get where Nora is coming from. I don't agree with the post she quoted, because what OP described is not OK behaviour in any sort of world and that comment made it somehow seem like what the guy did wasn't a problem.

But I think we all know men do get shite over the simplest things these days. A man can say a small hello and someone will be quick to label him a creep, especially if he isn't what society looks at as attractive.

I'm not saying I feel sorry for men because I don't and most I've encountered do see women as nothing but a sexual object to admire. But I understand what Nora meant and I don't think she meant it like men are the victims here. She even said above what the man did was odd behaviour and she'd give him a swift kick.

As I said above, nothing wrong with a glance but anything more and you're completely justified to feel anger and disappointment about it.

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple over a year ago

chester

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

Men can speak to women and look at women they just need to do it in an appropriate and respectful way.

And who sets the measurement for what is appropriate and or respectful?

Do you think that the actions the OP has described where appropriate? "

It doesn’t sound at all appropriate. I wonder if he realised he was doing it? Chances are, he was in his own world and it wasn't intentional.

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By *ad NannaWoman over a year ago

East London

Happens to me regularly. I get women looking at mine too.

I laugh inwardly and sing in my head "You're never going to touch them".

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

Men can speak to women and look at women they just need to do it in an appropriate and respectful way.

And who sets the measurement for what is appropriate and or respectful? "

In terms of what is and isn’t respectful to women, I think women do. And I’d go with if women *generally* say they don’t want to be treated a certain way or approached a certain way, which is the case I’d say, then just don’t do that rather than trying to find scenarios in which you can get away with it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It happens everywhere, every day, work, in the street, shop, pub, Whatever I wear. I suppose They're 'big' but not in comparison to some.

It's starting to make me really self conscious, most times I just brush it off, other times it makes me really angry.

Does anyone else get like this? "

Nice tits

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By *ad NannaWoman over a year ago

East London

If I didn't have big boobs my sex life would be non-existent

We're just walking mammaries to some.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"I’ve read the term ‘women don’t like being looked at’ quite a bit on this thread but yet a quick scroll through the comments and I can see quite a lot of tits, arses, bikinis, bodysuits and nakedness from female avatars. Make your mind up, it’s either look at you or not. You can’t have one foot in both camps and complain. "

Am I in the Hight Street in my fishnet dress?

I am happy for an appreciative glance Christ knows they're getting fewere and fewer but a triple take from a stranger when I'm out, alone going to but my breakfast?...nah

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

It happens everywhere, every day, work, in the street, shop, pub, Whatever I wear. I suppose They're 'big' but not in comparison to some.

It's starting to make me really self conscious, most times I just brush it off, other times it makes me really angry.

Does anyone else get like this?

Nice tits

A totally unnecessary comment. Read the room.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Happens to me regularly. I get women looking at mine too.

I laugh inwardly and sing in my head "You're never going to touch them"."

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By *ackformore100Man over a year ago

Tin town

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

Yeah truss. Super tough being a man. Can’t even objectify women like we used to.

Nope. You can’t I’m afraid. Although how that’s relevant to my comment I’m not sure. As that’s not what I said.

It definitely came across that way as did the posters above that you were replying to and agreeing with.

It came across as me saying men should be able to objectify women? Ok Lorna

Nah.. Its just saying its complex. There's an issue here... Nobody has said objecifying and making women feel uncomfortable (whatever that means and is open to interpretation) is OK.

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Where do I look when she’s gone to the effort of looking amazing with her low cut dress, her push up bra, and wearing the necklace she chose from the jewellers I took her to?

I think some women are open to compliments from men and would like there sexiness to be noticed, some women don’t.

I wear sunglasses now.

What the man in the op did was not a compliment in any universe.

There's a huge difference between complimenting a woman you know and doing what this running guy did.

I said, to Gawp at a stranger is a little ‘wierd’, compared to someone who might just ‘notice’ a nice figure.

Which is exactly what I was getting at about being a man. Yet it’s easier to twist it to make people think I think it’s ok to objectify women. I shouldn’t be surprised really though.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That's totally different I don't mind a man complimenting me on my boobs on this site because I invited if I put up a picture of my breasts. If I am walking down the street minding my own business and a man feels the need to openly gawp at me then that's the difference isn't it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Where do I look when she’s gone to the effort of looking amazing with her low cut dress, her push up bra, and wearing the necklace she chose from the jewellers I took her to?

I think some women are open to compliments from men and would like there sexiness to be noticed, some women don’t.

I wear sunglasses now.

What the man in the op did was not a compliment in any universe.

There's a huge difference between complimenting a woman you know and doing what this running guy did.

I said, to Gawp at a stranger is a little ‘wierd’, compared to someone who might just ‘notice’ a nice figure.

Not sure why you felt the need to put story in inverted commas around story...implying you think I'm making it up?

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

Men can speak to women and look at women they just need to do it in an appropriate and respectful way.

And who sets the measurement for what is appropriate and or respectful? "

Men it would seem because very many don't seem to want to accept women's version of it

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

Mr M, there's a distinct difference between being open to discussion sexually on here, vs going about our business, fully clothed, in public. Two very different things entirely.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Those saying that think this kind of behaviour is OK how would you feel if it was your daughter or mother who was in this situation this morning?

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By *ad NannaWoman over a year ago

East London

If someone did a triple take on me I'd be thinking I've dropped someone horrid on myself, and start to feel paranoid.

And there's the difference between a glance, a look, a stare and a triple take.

We all know which ones are rude and can make people feel uncomfortable, or even frightened.

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Those saying that think this kind of behaviour is OK how would you feel if it was your daughter or mother who was in this situation this morning? "

I hope you’re not including me in those that think what happened to the op is ok.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Those saying that think this kind of behaviour is OK how would you feel if it was your daughter or mother who was in this situation this morning? "

Yeah but that's different they deserve respect. Other women are just bodies.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My thoughts also

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Those saying that think this kind of behaviour is OK how would you feel if it was your daughter or mother who was in this situation this morning?

I hope you’re not including me in those that think what happened to the op is ok. "

Where did I include you Nora? I thought you said you didn't want to argue with me so why are you still commenting on my posts that had nothing to do with you!

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By *ackformore100Man over a year ago

Tin town

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

Men can speak to women and look at women they just need to do it in an appropriate and respectful way.

And who sets the measurement for what is appropriate and or respectful?

Do you think that the actions the OP has described where appropriate? "

No. As I've already written. That doesn't answer the question though does it.?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Those saying that think this kind of behaviour is OK how would you feel if it was your daughter or mother who was in this situation this morning?

Yeah but that's different they deserve respect. Other women are just bodies.

Definitely seems to be the case unfortunately.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think I get where Nora is coming from. I don't agree with the post she quoted, because what OP described is not OK behaviour in any sort of world and that comment made it somehow seem like what the guy did wasn't a problem.

As I said above, nothing wrong with a glance but anything more and you're completely justified to feel anger and disappointment about it.

Sorry but men are not the victims here. And women calling out behaviour they don’t like doesn’t make it hard to be a man. And Nora’s point, I feel, being separated from the comment she quoted just takes the problem people took with it out of context.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

Men can speak to women and look at women they just need to do it in an appropriate and respectful way.

And who sets the measurement for what is appropriate and or respectful?

Do you think that the actions the OP has described where appropriate?

No. As I've already written. That doesn't answer the question though does it.? "

I think it does.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My thoughts also

Here, I invite it, and I don’t mind it.

On the street minding my own business, I do.

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Those saying that think this kind of behaviour is OK how would you feel if it was your daughter or mother who was in this situation this morning?

I hope you’re not including me in those that think what happened to the op is ok.

Where did I include you Nora? I thought you said you didn't want to argue with me so why are you still commenting on my posts that had nothing to do with you!"

Just checking. All good then.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

My thoughts also

How on earth does your avatar on here have any bearing on how you are treated in public, when fully clothed and going about your private business? If you don't understand the difference between these situations, I am very concerned.

There are men with their dicks out on avatar but I would certainly not presume to gawp at their penis if I was to see them in Sainsbury's!

Jeez

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

Nah, I’m not having it. It’s just another opportunity to man bash. How dare a bloke look at me in the street but if you would’nt fabbing my fanny pic that would be great. The double standards to suit certain narratives is becoming painful to sit and watch on here at times.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

My thoughts also

Please do tell me what I should wear so that men don't leer at me? A bin liner? Maybe a onsie.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That is not what the op said though is it and if that's your attitude it's shocking.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Well! This has certainly been an eye opener.

It's clear some men feel attacked, I understand why in some cases but not in this one.

Is there any man or woman who believes that what the op experienced this morning is ok?

Anyone who believes it's ok for her because she's on a swinging site but wouldn't be ok for women who are not?

Anyone who honestly doesn't understand that because twhathe op was upset by what happened this morning does *not* mean that men aren't allowed to look at women ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Is that, if women continue to put their bodies on the internet they can’t complain when people stare at them in person?

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple over a year ago

chester

"If I didn't have big boobs my sex life would be non-existent

We're just walking mammaries to some.

Christ, there’s no hope for me then

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

Wow.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

In this case I believe it's correct to bash this particular man.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Have I got my fanny out?? No. Ffs.

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By *ackformore100Man over a year ago

Tin town

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

Men can speak to women and look at women they just need to do it in an appropriate and respectful way.

And who sets the measurement for what is appropriate and or respectful?

Get away with what exactly? See the problem is what is appropriate for some women is inappropriate for other women. I'm not making excuses. I think I know "right from wrong" but it's clear from these worthwhile discussion threads that it can be very different for different people and even different for the same person depending upon the circumstances and environment.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

women can have boob pictures on the internet and still be entitled to not be objectified on the street

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

Men can speak to women and look at women they just need to do it in an appropriate and respectful way.

And who sets the measurement for what is appropriate and or respectful?

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

women can have boob pictures on the internet and still be entitled to not be objectified on the street

It really is that simple.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have I got my fanny out?? No. Ffs. "

Sorry you Ve had comments like this it is not acceptable what happened to you this morning no matter what website you are on.

Anyone that behaves like that and tries to justify it because some women are on sites like this need to have a serious word with themselves.

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By *hilloutMan over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

Speaking as a man, I can say we are definitely visual creatures. If we cross paths with an attractive woman in public we can't help but notice and look, it's how we are. It's how we're wired.

The issue is many of us don't have the self awareness to take notice in a subtle way as to not cause discomfort or intimidation in the person we're admiring.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

Men can speak to women and look at women they just need to do it in an appropriate and respectful way.

And who sets the measurement for what is appropriate and or respectful?

I’d say generally there’s an understanding of what is inappropriate. And I think men generally know that which is why they’re constantly online complaining about not being able to say or do xyz nowadays. Some things I’m sure some women don’t mind but if you think generally women wouldn’t like it or you’re not sure how it will be taken, it’s not that deep to just not do it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Speaking as a man, I can say we are definitely visual creatures. If we cross paths with an attractive woman in public we can't help but notice and look, it's how we are. It's how we're wired.

The issue is many of us don't have the self awareness to take notice in a subtle way as to not cause discomfort or intimidation in the person we're admiring. "

See this I can understand and think it's a very honest answer but that is why conversations like this are really important so that some men understand how it can come across.

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By *ackformore100Man over a year ago

Tin town

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

Men can speak to women and look at women they just need to do it in an appropriate and respectful way.

And who sets the measurement for what is appropriate and or respectful?

Men it would seem because very many don't seem to want to accept women's version of it

In the absence of anything else yes. They have to. However even if it is men as you suggest. How is an interaction measured? I'm always polite and respectful (I think) however of you take offence or interpret my language or body language differently and feel disrespected... I can't help that. There are two parts of the interaction.... Well its obvious isn't it? In some cases yes it is. In other cases.. No its not obvious.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

I'm off to go swimming. I can't believe the nonsense I've read on here today.

And, just in case anyone happens to see me in my swimsuit, just because I have a swimsuit pic on here, does NOT mean you can stare and gawp at me in the swimming pool.

Capisce?

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By *ackformore100Man over a year ago

Tin town

"Those saying that think this kind of behaviour is OK how would you feel if it was your daughter or mother who was in this situation this morning? "

Nobody on this thread has written what the guy did was OK.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

Men can speak to women and look at women they just need to do it in an appropriate and respectful way.

And who sets the measurement for what is appropriate and or respectful?

I think if a guy has any emotional maturity and understanding of the interaction between men and women he won't have to be concerned by what's appropriate and respectful and vice versa. Most of us are able to pick up on social cues (I know there are exceptions)and most of us are able to negotiate our way through daily life without being overtly sexual towards each other. Complimenting women is not obligatory and if in any doubt... don't.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hello

That’s really rude . I don’t like that OP.

I don’t like make a lady uncomfortable.

And yes I do look in her eyes .

Is a “ hello “ that I wish I could do for real and approach .

But I’m very shy and I struggle .

I struggle with eye contact and I struggle with approaching a lady …

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Those saying that think this kind of behaviour is OK how would you feel if it was your daughter or mother who was in this situation this morning?

Nobody on this thread has written what the guy did was OK. "

Yes they have.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm off to go swimming. I can't believe the nonsense I've read on here today.

And, just in case anyone happens to see me in my swimsuit, just because I have a swimsuit pic on here, does NOT mean you can stare and gawp at me in the swimming pool.

Capisce? "

You’re brilliant

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By *ackformore100Man over a year ago

Tin town

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

Men can speak to women and look at women they just need to do it in an appropriate and respectful way.

And who sets the measurement for what is appropriate and or respectful?

Do you think that the actions the OP has described where appropriate?

No. As I've already written. That doesn't answer the question though does it.?

I think it does. "

I must have missed your answer ... Who sets the measure of what is appropriate and or respectful?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

Men can speak to women and look at women they just need to do it in an appropriate and respectful way.

And who sets the measurement for what is appropriate and or respectful?

Do you think that the actions the OP has described where appropriate?

No. As I've already written. That doesn't answer the question though does it.?

I think it does.

I must have missed your answer ... Who sets the measure of what is appropriate and or respectful? "

I answered it and so have others so not sure what more information you would like.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"I'm off to go swimming. I can't believe the nonsense I've read on here today.

And, just in case anyone happens to see me in my swimsuit, just because I have a swimsuit pic on here, does NOT mean you can stare and gawp at me in the swimming pool.

Capisce? "

Can you run that past me one more time please. I'm finding the concept extremely difficult to grasp.

Are you actually saying that in a non sexual situation you don't want to be sexualised?

But you're a woman...

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

Have I got my fanny out?? No. Ffs. "

When did I say ‘you’ve’ got your fanny out??

The bloke obviously found you attractive and he looked at you. Have you never taken a double look at a bloke in the street that you’ve found attractive ….. like ever?? I think you’ll find that you have.

My point is that the goal posts are continually being moved to suit certain people’s narratives, and they’ll use this to their advantage. I’ve been around here long enough to see the same behaviour happen repeatedly.

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By *ackformore100Man over a year ago

Tin town

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

Men can speak to women and look at women they just need to do it in an appropriate and respectful way.

And who sets the measurement for what is appropriate and or respectful?

But that's the problem Steve. Very clearly there isn't an understanding or we wouldn't be having this thread.

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By *efinitely worth it...Woman over a year ago

East Riding of Yorkshire

"At my age, and having had sizeable breasts from a young age, I've grown accustomed to this being the norm...much as there is a valid argument that I shouldn't have to, for me this has been a part of my life for a very long time. Men, in my experience, are generally very visual creatures,

so I tend to look at it as a non

verbal compliment, they like what they see. I learnt a long time ago to use it to my advantage whenever possible, turn the tables to get what I want while they're distracted by a bit of cleavage. The only times that it sometimes irks me is at work, being spoken to like I'm a bit of a bimbo because of how I look when I'm performing better than some of my male counterparts, and having to work harder to gain credibility.

I also don't personally know any women that aren't guilty of having an appreciative glance at a man they find attractive every so often."

I echo this sentiment

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By *lephantisMan over a year ago

Oxford

Here, I invite it, and I don’t mind it.

On the street minding my own business, I do. "

Exactly this, and I cannot believe men don't understand it. They do. It's just useful to be able to performatively misunderstand so that misogynists can continue the hands-in-the-air, eyerolling, isn't-modern-life-complex schtick.

And in turn, THAT means 'Wasn't life better in the old days, before [insert minimal modern standard of respect for women/minorities]?'

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Have I got my fanny out?? No. Ffs.

When did I say ‘you’ve’ got your fanny out??

But he didn't just look. He stopped and did a triple take. Can you at least understand a bit how utterly humiliating, embarrassing and intimidating that is for a lone woman in the high street?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have I got my fanny out?? No. Ffs.

When did I say ‘you’ve’ got your fanny out??

What goalposts and what behaviour because you are talking in riddles. You certainly seem to be justifying this man's behaviour!

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By *ackformore100Man over a year ago

Tin town

"Those saying that think this kind of behaviour is OK how would you feel if it was your daughter or mother who was in this situation this morning?

Nobody on this thread has written what the guy did was OK.

Yes they have. "

Who said it was OK and where did you see that? And apologies if I've missed it.

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By *ackformore100Man over a year ago

Tin town

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

Men can speak to women and look at women they just need to do it in an appropriate and respectful way.

And who sets the measurement for what is appropriate and or respectful?

Do you think that the actions the OP has described where appropriate?

No. As I've already written. That doesn't answer the question though does it.?

I think it does.

I must have missed your answer ... Who sets the measure of what is appropriate and or respectful?

I answered it and so have others so not sure what more information you would like. "

Sure. I'd like an answer. But as you are clearly not going to... I'll move on.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Those saying that think this kind of behaviour is OK how would you feel if it was your daughter or mother who was in this situation this morning?

Nobody on this thread has written what the guy did was OK.

Yes they have.

Who said it was OK and where did you see that? And apologies if I've missed it. "

Read the thread again and you will definitely see it has been at least 3 separate people.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

Men can speak to women and look at women they just need to do it in an appropriate and respectful way.

And who sets the measurement for what is appropriate and or respectful?

But that's the problem Steve. Very clearly there isn't an understanding or we wouldn't be having this thread. "

True. I thought generally we all understood that men staring at women’s breasts was inappropriate but this thread has demonstrated that outside of my echo chamber, it’s tough for men to grasp that.

My best advice on how to know what is and isn’t inappropriate is to listen to women that speak about their experiences on being sexualised and experiencing forms of sexism/misogyny/ sexual harassment/violence. That’s helped me live a life as a man and thus far find it incredibly easy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Have I got my fanny out?? No. Ffs.

When did I say ‘you’ve’ got your fanny out??

Yes I have, I will also smile and/or say hi at the same time..in acknowledgement of them as a person not just a nice looking body part.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It happens everywhere, every day, work, in the street, shop, pub, Whatever I wear. I suppose They're 'big' but not in comparison to some.

It's starting to make me really self conscious, most times I just brush it off, other times it makes me really angry.

Does anyone else get like this? "

Sorry you feel this way. It’s the classic idea that men look, and women are looked at. Some people still believe that women dress for men and that they’re entitled to look at you.

You mentioned you weren’t even wearing anything revealing. The fact is, you can wear what you like and should not have to choose your clothes based on whether or not you want to be harassed. Never explain. You could be wearing whatever you like and it’s still not right for you to be made to feel that way.

Things are changing. Have a great day.

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By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

I deliberately haven't read most of what has been said but I'll give one example just as the op did.

My job used to take me into numerous pubs every single day.

I've been objectified and physically mauled by groups of women on hen parties while trying to do my job.

Some people might think that acceptable if I had been there as a stripper but I wasn't which makes it even more inappropriate.

Do I think what the op experienced was right? Definitely not.

Do I agree that there are people who are so entrenched in their own agenda that they are comfortable making excuses for things that don't fit that? Definitely yes.

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By *ackformore100Man over a year ago

Tin town

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

I’m so glad I’m a woman. I think I’d walk around not looking or speaking to anyone if I was a bloke.

Men can speak to women and look at women they just need to do it in an appropriate and respectful way.

And who sets the measurement for what is appropriate and or respectful?

But that's the problem Steve. Very clearly there isn't an understanding or we wouldn't be having this thread.

100%. I know from conversations with others there are some very "inappropriate" behaviours towards girls / women (and sometimes to men too) and wonder how we make the situation better...so that girls can walk home from town without having to be fearful. But that's a different thread.

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By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

Another thing that many can't accept is that as a man I can listen to one woman or 100 talking about their experiences but it will have zero affect on my behaviour.

I will continue to do what I've spent my life doing which is treating everyone equally as a human being and with respect so no amount of lecturing will make me try harder or do more because I'm not guilty but it could well make me think twice before offering a hand to help if it's continuously slapped away.

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By *icolerobbieCouple over a year ago

walsall

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

Isn't it awful that women now say they don't want to be objectified and made to feel uncomfortable by strangers in the street. What is the world coming to!"

How do you know that they are objectifying you though. Some people don’t like eye contact and automatically look down. Not always at your boobs.

Some men are out and out ketches and I agree that this behaviour is not nice, but some will hear this message and it will just drive them further down the rabbit hole.

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By *uitednbooted2Man over a year ago

Berkshire

"Well! This has certainly been an eye opener.

It's clear some men feel attacked, I understand why in some cases but not in this one.

Is there any man or woman who believes that what the op experienced this morning is ok?

Anyone who believes it's ok for her because she's on a swinging site but wouldn't be ok for women who are not?

Anyone who honestly doesn't understand that because twhathe op was upset by what happened this morning does *not* mean that men aren't allowed to look at women ?

Wholeheartedly agree with you, but when I posted a similar experience of mine in this thread I find it strange how all the women have just ignored it like it doesn’t matter when it comes the other way

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By *icolerobbieCouple over a year ago

walsall

"Those saying that think this kind of behaviour is OK how would you feel if it was your daughter or mother who was in this situation this morning?

Nobody on this thread has written what the guy did was OK.

Yes they have.

Who said it was OK and where did you see that? And apologies if I've missed it.

Read the thread again and you will definitely see it has been at least 3 separate people."

Which people, I certainly didn’t condone it. I highlighted a consequence of it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No wonder there’s a whole genre of men who want nothing to do with women exist when the message sounds like “don’t even look at us”

Isn't it awful that women now say they don't want to be objectified and made to feel uncomfortable by strangers in the street. What is the world coming to!

How do you know that they are objectifying you though. Some people don’t like eye contact and automatically look down. Not always at your boobs.

Some men are out and out ketches and I agree that this behaviour is not nice, but some will hear this message and it will just drive them further down the rabbit hole."
m what rabbit hole?

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

Have I got my fanny out?? No. Ffs.

When did I say ‘you’ve’ got your fanny out??

What goalposts and what behaviour because you are talking in riddles. You certainly seem to be justifying this man's behaviour! "

Justifying that the bloke found her attractive, yes I probably am. The bloke ‘gawped’ at the OP, so what, he broke no laws. Some would have him stoned to death then go home and ask for fabs on a tit pic is my point.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Well! This has certainly been an eye opener.

It's clear some men feel attacked, I understand why in some cases but not in this one.

Is there any man or woman who believes that what the op experienced this morning is ok?

Anyone who believes it's ok for her because she's on a swinging site but wouldn't be ok for women who are not?

Anyone who honestly doesn't understand that because twhathe op was upset by what happened this morning does *not* mean that men aren't allowed to look at women ?

I'm sorry about that. I didn't see it

I did call out similar behaviour towards a guy recently and some men agreed with me. It was on the show about men with huge penises

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Have I got my fanny out?? No. Ffs.

When did I say ‘you’ve’ got your fanny out??

What goalposts and what behaviour because you are talking in riddles. You certainly seem to be justifying this man's behaviour!

Erm ...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Is women demanding to be treated like and seen as human beings making it hard for men to exist?

lol

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By *uitednbooted2Man over a year ago

Berkshire

"Well! This has certainly been an eye opener.

It's clear some men feel attacked, I understand why in some cases but not in this one.

Is there any man or woman who believes that what the op experienced this morning is ok?

Anyone who believes it's ok for her because she's on a swinging site but wouldn't be ok for women who are not?

Anyone who honestly doesn't understand that because twhathe op was upset by what happened this morning does *not* mean that men aren't allowed to look at women ?

I'm sorry about that. I didn't see it

I did call out similar behaviour towards a guy recently and some men agreed with me. It was on the show about men with huge penises

Apology accepted xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have I got my fanny out?? No. Ffs.

When did I say ‘you’ve’ got your fanny out??

What goalposts and what behaviour because you are talking in riddles. You certainly seem to be justifying this man's behaviour!

So what! Well I guess at least you have been honest but it also shows what you really think about women on this site.

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