FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Confidence
Confidence
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can any women/men honestly say that being on this site boosts their confidence?
This is the Mrs posting "
The first time I joined fab about 9 years ago it boosted my confidence no end.
This time round it neither boosts it or hinders it as I'm in a completely different place. |
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When I first dame onto the site four years ago I had zero confidence. I met someone who was a fwb for about 3 years. He most definitely boosted my confidence, made me feel attractive, wanted etc
I don’t think it’s a bad thing to admit this site can give you a boost  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can any women/men honestly say that being on this site boosts their confidence?
This is the Mrs posting "
As a larger man I would say it can vary! It doesn’t help the confidence when 99% of the women don’t even reply to a message you send them but things like using the forums is good for a confidence boost as people actually speak in there haha |
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Yes most definitely. I always think I’m ordinary and normal. (Which I am )
I go to clubs and am told I am sexy gorgeous. I get no end of compliments. I take it with a pinch of salt but it certainly boosts the ego and the confidence. |
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By *humper.Man
over a year ago
northumberland/scotland |
I'll openly admit I'm a shallow, attention seeking fab whore. It boosts mine, yeah.
Also, chatting regularly with like minded people helps me realise I'm not a complete deviant. Or, I am but... we all are? One of the two?
Oh, and there's boobs.
And bums. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can any women/men honestly say that being on this site boosts their confidence?
This is the Mrs posting "
Definitely does Dora the world of good.
Being lusted after and having men compliment her on her body is a positive thing. |
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Yes, it has for me.
I've always lacked confidence in me as a person and the way I look. 6yrs in and I accept the way my body looks and can say NOW I'm happy in my skin and who I am.
Friends has often said to me, you really don't get that you are attractive and you do turn heads. And no I don't get that and never will.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bit of both. I’ve been lucky to meet some awesome (very attractive) men. Huge confidence boost. But equally, if you look too hard at it it can be a confidence wrecker.
When I said I felt more confident about my looks and my body from my fab experiences a friend said to me “yeah but men say they’re attracted to you just so they can fuck you”.
Also spotted a profile which said “I don’t want women who wouldn’t be given a second glance in a bar but think they’re gods gift on fab”
When I was in a couple (couples profile) it was much more of a confidence boost, as I had the security of a partner, on top of the meets. That was peak confidence I think. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My self confidence when i joined was on the ground, its improved a lot but that's more the work I've been doing on myself.
Some days on here I'm confident and other days I struggle but the one good thing here is there is someone for everyone and people are more open to looking past the outside show |
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"Bit of both. I’ve been lucky to meet some awesome (very attractive) men. Huge confidence boost. But equally, if you look too hard at it it can be a confidence wrecker.
When I said I felt more confident about my looks and my body from my fab experiences a friend said to me “yeah but men say they’re attracted to you just so they can fuck you”.
Also spotted a profile which said “I don’t want women who wouldn’t be given a second glance in a bar but think they’re gods gift on fab”
When I was in a couple (couples profile) it was much more of a confidence boost, as I had the security of a partner, on top of the meets. That was peak confidence I think. "
I don’t play with other guys, only my partner but I know all the guys that have tried or said they wanted to fuck me is because it’s a hole to them |
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"Tbh I know what you mean, some comments or messages are just plain rude. Making jokes of people etc in the forums"
Most make you feel like you are a piece of meat and that a female is there for the taking, doesn’t matter if the female wants it or not |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bit of both. I’ve been lucky to meet some awesome (very attractive) men. Huge confidence boost. But equally, if you look too hard at it it can be a confidence wrecker.
When I said I felt more confident about my looks and my body from my fab experiences a friend said to me “yeah but men say they’re attracted to you just so they can fuck you”.
Also spotted a profile which said “I don’t want women who wouldn’t be given a second glance in a bar but think they’re gods gift on fab”
When I was in a couple (couples profile) it was much more of a confidence boost, as I had the security of a partner, on top of the meets. That was peak confidence I think.
I don’t play with other guys, only my partner but I know all the guys that have tried or said they wanted to fuck me is because it’s a hole to them "
New fear unlocked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This site and confidence. Dangerous.... it can boost your confidence but much more likely to crush it. You don't tend to hear from the people who just fade away after ridicule and rejection. The confidence boost goes mainly to those who were already confident. This is not the place for training wheels xxx |
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"Bit of both. I’ve been lucky to meet some awesome (very attractive) men. Huge confidence boost. But equally, if you look too hard at it it can be a confidence wrecker.
When I said I felt more confident about my looks and my body from my fab experiences a friend said to me “yeah but men say they’re attracted to you just so they can fuck you”.
Also spotted a profile which said “I don’t want women who wouldn’t be given a second glance in a bar but think they’re gods gift on fab”
When I was in a couple (couples profile) it was much more of a confidence boost, as I had the security of a partner, on top of the meets. That was peak confidence I think.
I don’t play with other guys, only my partner but I know all the guys that have tried or said they wanted to fuck me is because it’s a hole to them
New fear unlocked. "
I have zero confidence, not one tiny bit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It doesn't do either for me. My self-confidence comes from other things besides my looks - I realised early in life that the latter weren't likely to get me very far. I think the nature of fab encourages shallowness and the site can probably be very detrimental to some who already struggle with -esteem. |
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"It doesn't do either for me. My self-confidence comes from other things besides my looks - I realised early in life that the latter weren't likely to get me very far. I think the nature of fab encourages shallowness and the site can probably be very detrimental to some who already struggle with -esteem."
100% agree with you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh god yes... I have truly embraced every part of my body, good and bad.. Especially the bad - i finally wore a pair of short shorts (with thick tights) last year (in public !!) for the first time since childhood 
I even think I'm cute at times 
I've embraced my inner exhibitionist and have even posed nude in public.. I wouldn't have done any of that without fab and its wonderful embroidery of life that has normalised my view of my body and understanding that there is no perfect, only delicious imperfectness |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Boosted my confidence knowing that there so many lying, cheating and worse around as I always thought I was nothing special.
There are nice people as well but most of the contacts appear to be come and go types, hand to mouth living etc etc. |
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By *ack688Man
over a year ago
abruzzo Italy (and UK) |
No, I used to run a private kik group for exhibitionists for a few years and we all posted nudes all the time and were very supportive and complimentary to each other, which boosted my confidence massively, but Fab kinda sucks the joy out of it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it has. Before joining, I never took pictures of myself but since then, it's really brought that exhibitionist side out of me and it's done me the world of confidence meeting people I don't know and feeling comfortable in their company whereas I would usually be more reserved.
Would I like more sex? Absolutely. But it's definitely done more good for me than bad  |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
Nope being on here hasn't boosted my confidence .I take the compliments I get on here with bit load of salt as a lot are disingenuous and are a lot of the time are just people blowing smoke up my ass .
The genuine compliments from people I know and they know mean a lot more to me.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I rejoined after the end of a relationship during which I plonked on a fuckton of weight. I think I'm actually at a current point where I wouldn't say I'm confident in my skin perhaps. But I'm a damn sight more comfortable and less self conscious about it. I guess that's come in part from being on the site. Not really from folk who say any old crap to me, but maybe in part from the genuine interactions I have had with folk I've connected with |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nope being on here hasn't boosted my confidence .I take the compliments I get on here with bit load of salt as a lot are disingenuous and are a lot of the time are just people blowing smoke up my ass .
The genuine compliments from people I know and they know mean a lot more to me.
"
As long as you don't inhale...you'll be safe enough  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been on and off here for many years mainly for the social side. This time I have come back for the meet side of things and my confidence has soared since being back, even though I have been worried about having psoriasis |
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I would say that this site stokes the fires of my confidence, without which it would otherwise just slowly burn away, leaving the embers of my fragile self esteem.
This place has its p+sitives and an equal share of twonks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have to say yes. When one gets a great meet it gives an amazing buzz that makes one come back for more.
There is the dark side of rejection and disappointment that one can take to heart. If one can keep Fab life in the periphery then one should be fine |
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I'm profoundly aware that I've been here less than 2 months, compared with most of the properly experienced posters above, so this might very easily change.
But, so far, definitely yes. Men often whinge on here, but the flipside of getting less attention is that one also gets less negative, sometimes downright horrible attention. I'm a confident person overall, and I like myself, but definitely not when it comes to my sexual appeal. Here, though, I've had some lovely compliments, made real friends, and encountered some amazing people. I've not had a single negative interaction.
Yet. (Ducks incoming.)
There is a kindness here which is very rare. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm profoundly aware that I've been here less than 2 months, compared with most of the properly experienced posters above, so this might very easily change.
But, so far, definitely yes. Men often whinge on here, but the flipside of getting less attention is that one also gets less negative, sometimes downright horrible attention. I'm a confident person overall, and I like myself, but definitely not when it comes to my sexual appeal. Here, though, I've had some lovely compliments, made real friends, and encountered some amazing people. I've not had a single negative interaction.
Yet. (Ducks incoming.)
There is a kindness here which is very rare. "
Shut it nerd
Welcome lol |
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OP I don’t think it makes a jot of difference to my confidence although I think being confident here does help ward off all the idiots. I think it helps that I’m able to talk to like-minded open individuals and couples who aren’t afraid to express their sexuality  |
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I don't know if I'd describe it as a boost in confidence for me, but it helps me get by.
When I post pics that are well received it's the only time I get to feel sexy/attractive/desirable.
Fab (and Fet) provide little moments for me, without them I'd have no outlet to show myself off and likely never get seen as anything other than a random guy you'd walk past in the street.
If I was getting meets and having that physical affirmation that I am sexy and wanted, then I'd like to think my confidence would get that sweet sweet boost
So yeah, Fab helps me in my own way
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"I'm profoundly aware that I've been here less than 2 months, compared with most of the properly experienced posters above, so this might very easily change.
But, so far, definitely yes. Men often whinge on here, but the flipside of getting less attention is that one also gets less negative, sometimes downright horrible attention. I'm a confident person overall, and I like myself, but definitely not when it comes to my sexual appeal. Here, though, I've had some lovely compliments, made real friends, and encountered some amazing people. I've not had a single negative interaction.
Yet. (Ducks incoming.)
There is a kindness here which is very rare.
Shut it nerd
Welcome lol"
See? You people can't even pretend to be mean for long. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not really no because the compliments/looks etc dont really translate out in the real world. I am an invisble 46 yo woman, quite happy about that but I do get a bit cynical reading messages as I know I wouldnt be, and aren't looked at twice away from here. I get a buzz from having good conversations with people and joking and interacting that way and that sort of gives me confidence that I am an ok 'character' and that will do for me (no I dont really need external validation for that either, but its always nice) |
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That is actually a massive question.
Not necessarily my physical/sexual confidence. I am what I am on that score & I am, in the main, confident and as solid as most are in that regard.
As a whole person though, bizarrely “a fuck site” has made me genuinely happy & confident. I have made some genuine friends here. I find certain fora groups a safe haven & there are posters on here that I look forward to interacting with, that put a real smile on my face & a spring in my step. |
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"Can any women/men honestly say that being on this site boosts their confidence?
This is the Mrs posting "
I have confidence and libido down swings...along with another bunch of mood swings. I can very easily disconnect from people and myself when things go on the downward trajectory
So being on this site, is helping me maintain a balance in my mental stability. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can any women/men honestly say that being on this site boosts their confidence?
This is the Mrs posting "
No tbh , if l needed to boost my confidence it wouldn't be here that it would happen,lm only here for the forums tbh , very very rarely sent a message to meet ,only send one to compliment someone that has replied or posted something on the forums, l take everything here with a bucket of salt and under no circumstances do l take anything serious here , if l did it would be detrimental to my well being , am only here for fun and definitely not to boost my confidence. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll openly admit I'm a shallow, attention seeking fab whore. It boosts mine, yeah.
Also, chatting regularly with like minded people helps me realise I'm not a complete deviant. Or, I am but... we all are? One of the two?
Oh, and there's boobs.
And bums. "
Hahaha - this is something we enjoy: chatting with like minded people, and realising that we aren’t the only dirty perverts in the world lol
Love your profile, by the way
F (Mrs) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not so much the messages as I take all of those with a huge pinch of salt but regularly appearing near the top of hot photos has been great for my confidence.
I was already fairly body confident (post weight loss definitely not pre weight loss) though, it’s just given me an extra lift! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can any women/men honestly say that being on this site boosts their confidence?
This is the Mrs posting "
I’ve had body confidence issues for most of my adult life - I’m tall (6’1”) and curvy. I’ve never fitted the “society norm” for what a woman should look like, and living in a rural part of the world I’ve always stood out and felt awkward. I also went through an emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship, which I was free of for a while before I met J.
When J and I got together and joined Fab, I was so nervous about posting pics. However, I took the plunge, and people actually Fab’d them. And still do. People messaged me to say they thought I was sexy, and attractive, and that they loved my figure. It gives me a massive confidence boost when this happens, not going to lie. J gets off on the fact that other people fund me attractive too.
F (Mrs) |
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By *humper.Man
over a year ago
northumberland/scotland |
"I'll openly admit I'm a shallow, attention seeking fab whore. It boosts mine, yeah.
Also, chatting regularly with like minded people helps me realise I'm not a complete deviant. Or, I am but... we all are? One of the two?
Oh, and there's boobs.
And bums.
Hahaha - this is something we enjoy: chatting with like minded people, and realising that we aren’t the only dirty perverts in the world lol
Love your profile, by the way
F (Mrs)"
See... Nice little boost before bed. Its the little things. Thankyou (Mrs)
Ps, nice butt! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I first joined I had no confidence. It had been completely shattered by a previous relationship.
On here I did get a confidence boost. It did help me. Now it doesn't make a difference.
I guess if you're at a low point it can help pick you back up. But that could also go very wrong.
Took me months to post a picture of my boobs when I first joined.
T |
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I found it like a seesaw. a lot of ups and downs
I guess it should really come down to how well the conversation goes. But if you’re talking about, looks wise, I’m okay as long as I look good in a T-shirt and of course you cannot be everybody’s preference
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"No. But in many ways I think the reality that we’re not attractive to *most* people is important to hold on to. "
This site can certainly be grounding, that's for sure!
On the OP, it's a mixed bag. It can certainly put a pep in your step some days, and vice versa. But I think it's around the edges and the bulk of my confidence (or not) is based in me in the real world. I think so anyway; self-confidence is a big question! |
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Mr posting... No, not at all. I'm a fairly confident person generally, but I'm not "body confident". My body isn't the best thing about me, in normal life I'm fine with that but on Fab slightly less so. |
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I am not a confident person.
This site definately doesn't give me confidence, as there are far too many judgemental people on here.
Crossdressibg allows me to hide behind a mask, that gives me confidence.
Riding a motorbike, cycling all give me confidence, but only for a short while. |
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No. Its the people that are the ones who give confidence and take it away just as quickly...
It's nice to be able to give someone the confidence to do things they were unsure of trying before.
For myself no. I'm over confident anyway, don't need anymore |
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Ye I always had a unhealthy relationship with my body was never happy didn't like how I looked then I finally accepted this is me get on with it then to come on here and get messages from men that love my body it's a nice boost |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can any women/men honestly say that being on this site boosts their confidence?
This is the Mrs posting "
I mean sometimes it does never had bad feed back 4 year ive been off/on here but when they say regular and after 2 meets you hear nothing it takes more away than it gave in first place for me personally.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In a way yes, I'm more confident in myself as a person in that I know people like me but then finding lasting connection is hard and I get a bit of a kick in the teeth when it fizzles out for them before it does me. |
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Think it works both ways for me. I’d have never taken pictures of me wearing underwear, and definitely not naked before joining here. On here it gives you the confidence in your body to show it off me.
The down side is if you feel you need validation, like if a picture doesn’t get as much attention as one previously posted……I need to work on this bit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nope, I really think that confidence comes with age,you get to the point where you think sod it and tbh fab could knock your confidence right back of you let it |
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Some people can be cruel whether in society generally or worse hidden behind a keyboard as that gives them the "buzz" of perceived power. That in turn can knock confidence in the victim. Fab is no different in terms of people who are just cruel. However I read the forums which can give alot of positive vibes as moderator's can remove people who are not so nice. So all in all yes I think fab can help boost self confidence especially when people like your pictures |
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Yes and no. I'm not that confident a person so good feedback definitely make me feel good but then you also have to put up with lots of rejection. I've accepted that rejection is all part of it though so on balance it has been good. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No. But in many ways I think the reality that we’re not attractive to *most* people is important to hold on to.
This site can certainly be grounding, that's for sure!
"
AS IF it’s grounding for you, you gorgeous man!! |
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"Can any women/men honestly say that being on this site boosts their confidence?
This is the Mrs posting "
No, not really. I had low confidence in the past but now I get my sense of confidence from myself and not the world around me and it's pretty solid. It's irrelevant to me if people on here like me or not so it doesn't really increase or decrease my confidence in any way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It does when you first join. That’s it in a nutshell.
I can’t tell you the last time I had a wink or a serious 100 percent ‘I want to meet you’ type message. So my ego isn’t being boosted, but it doesn’t lower my confidence. My confidence is linked to other things, and not a website.
But when you join and you get fabs/winks/ messages etc, it makes you feel good for a short time. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
In a roundabout way, yes. Not because of the fabs (although I love those!), the winks and messages. It's more the friendships, the real connections I've built with people. That's restored and built my confidence, knowing that people love me for me. Confidence comes from within inevitably but having good people around you is wonderful.
So yes, perhaps not in a direct way but it has. |
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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago
Not all that North of North London |
There are people on these forums who have definitely helped me find my self belief in recent months.
I'm not sure that's the same as confidence though?
And on a wider basis, I'm far more accepting and comfortable in my own skin since I started swinging many years ago. The realisation that a lot of people won't like me but those who dislike me often like me a lot has been life changing in how I view myself and others.
Again not sure if that's confidence or not? |
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"No. But in many ways I think the reality that we’re not attractive to *most* people is important to hold on to.
This site can certainly be grounding, that's for sure!
AS IF it’s grounding for you, you gorgeous man!!"
- Insert "I'm not quite sure about that" emoji -
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I have found this site and the club scene a great boost for my confidence. Same with Tinder.
It’s helped my interpersonal skills come on leaps and bounds as well.
I wouldn’t stick around if it didn’t. I don’t understand why people put themselves through it if it’s consistently negative. |
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In some sense yes, I used to hate having my photo taken, but the pics the Mr takes of us for fab I actually love and have confidence sharing them whereas I'd never have shown them before, but overall I don't think it's had any impact.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No. But in many ways I think the reality that we’re not attractive to *most* people is important to hold on to.
This site can certainly be grounding, that's for sure!
AS IF it’s grounding for you, you gorgeous man!!
- Insert "I'm not quite sure about that" emoji -
"
Admin if you’re reading this WE NEED GIFS |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
Its a website where people can judge you based on a desire to do things with you.
If they want to do things with me great. If they don’t want to do things with me great.
Why should I allow the desires, wants and needs of strangers to affect my confidence? |
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"No. But in many ways I think the reality that we’re not attractive to *most* people is important to hold on to.
This site can certainly be grounding, that's for sure!
AS IF it’s grounding for you, you gorgeous man!!
- Insert "I'm not quite sure about that" emoji -
Admin if you’re reading this WE NEED GIFS "
Agreed. The campaign starts here. ADMIN, THE PEOPLE (ok, two people) HAVE SPOKEN... |
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"It does when you first join. That’s it in a nutshell.
I can’t tell you the last time I had a wink or a serious 100 percent ‘I want to meet you’ type message. So my ego isn’t being boosted, but it doesn’t lower my confidence. My confidence is linked to other things, and not a website.
But when you join and you get fabs/winks/ messages etc, it makes you feel good for a short time. "
Ah. Yes. I think I'm coming down the other side from that initial 'rush' (all relative!) about now.
Well, it was lovely while it lasted. Have to get my endorphins from exercise now, which is much healthier, if not always so fun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, a significant part of staying a member is specifically to learn a bit of confidence and not hide behind the introvert default behaviour I am normally comfier with. I’ve found the pros regarding my body image, and mental security have outweighed any cons. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll openly admit I'm a shallow, attention seeking fab whore. It boosts mine, yeah.
Also, chatting regularly with like minded people helps me realise I'm not a complete deviant. Or, I am but... we all are? One of the two?
Oh, and there's boobs.
And bums.
Hahaha - this is something we enjoy: chatting with like minded people, and realising that we aren’t the only dirty perverts in the world lol
Love your profile, by the way
F (Mrs)
See... Nice little boost before bed. Its the little things. Thankyou (Mrs)
Ps, nice butt! "
It’s absolutely the nice little boosts that count  And thank you
F (Mrs) |
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