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Ideal woman required, apply within
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By *dam1971 OP Man
over a year ago
Bedford |
I’m kicking myself here because I’ve been doing it wrong. Forget all that tedious mucking about with seduction and just be direct instead; when you buy something from Amazon you just select the things you want and it arrives the next day!
I’ll be considering offers from women who are millionaire nymphomaniacs, billionaires considered too, must be drop dead gorgeous, be into delusional podgy blokes and have a good wine cellar.
My inbox is open  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And I’ll consider anyone with nice tits, good hygiene, a nice personality and *incredibly* low standards in the type of man they’re prepared to sleep with, please  |
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By *dam1971 OP Man
over a year ago
Bedford |
"And I’ll consider anyone with nice tits, good hygiene, a nice personality and *incredibly* low standards in the type of man they’re prepared to sleep with, please "
Not a problem mate, I’m going to be overrun here so you can take any spares |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m kicking myself here because I’ve been doing it wrong. Forget all that tedious mucking about with seduction and just be direct instead; when you buy something from Amazon you just select the things you want and it arrives the next day!
I’ll be considering offers from women who are millionaire nymphomaniacs, billionaires considered too, must be drop dead gorgeous, be into delusional podgy blokes and have a good wine cellar.
My inbox is open "
You'll be swamped with invitations |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"And I’ll consider anyone with nice tits, good hygiene, a nice personality and *incredibly* low standards in the type of man they’re prepared to sleep with, please "
This is more me. Sorry Adam. Just too high standards for a fuck site. |
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By *dam1971 OP Man
over a year ago
Bedford |
"And I’ll consider anyone with nice tits, good hygiene, a nice personality and *incredibly* low standards in the type of man they’re prepared to sleep with, please
This is more me. Sorry Adam. Just too high standards for a fuck site. "
I understand, but fair play for trying to persuade me by sending all those nekkid pics |
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My Google alert for men seeking nice tits and low standards sent me here but now I see you need a nice personality too so I'm out.
Does a couple of cans of premixed g&t in the fridge count as a nice wine cellar. Asking for a friend? |
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"I’m kicking myself here because I’ve been doing it wrong. Forget all that tedious mucking about with seduction and just be direct instead; when you buy something from Amazon you just select the things you want and it arrives the next day!
I’ll be considering offers from women who are millionaire nymphomaniacs, billionaires considered too, must be drop dead gorgeous, be into delusional podgy blokes and have a good wine cellar.
My inbox is open "
This is just a ploy to get us to look at your profile isn't it?! Lol!  |
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By *dam1971 OP Man
over a year ago
Bedford |
"My Google alert for men seeking nice tits and low standards sent me here but now I see you need a nice personality too so I'm out.
Does a couple of cans of premixed g&t in the fridge count as a nice wine cellar. Asking for a friend? "
If you gulp it down quickly and can burp the theme tune to the Muppet Show, you’re in |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"And I’ll consider anyone with nice tits, good hygiene, a nice personality and *incredibly* low standards in the type of man they’re prepared to sleep with, please
This is more me. Sorry Adam. Just too high standards for a fuck site.
I understand, but fair play for trying to persuade me by sending all those nekkid pics "
I'm actually going to send you one now just because I'm in that sort of contrary mood. |
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"My Google alert for men seeking nice tits and low standards sent me here but now I see you need a nice personality too so I'm out.
Does a couple of cans of premixed g&t in the fridge count as a nice wine cellar. Asking for a friend?
If you gulp it down quickly and can burp the theme tune to the Muppet Show, you’re in "
Funny you should say that, it's my second best party trick  |
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By *dam1971 OP Man
over a year ago
Bedford |
"Hi, I'm Danish, I'm on one of those "try before you buy" things for 7 days, if you don't like me, you can return me, no questions "
Customer service is paramount
You’ll be leaving the booze here? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi, I'm Danish, I'm on one of those "try before you buy" things for 7 days, if you don't like me, you can return me, no questions
Customer service is paramount
You’ll be leaving the booze here? "
Any bottles opened cannot be returned unfortunately, only naked ladies |
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By *dam1971 OP Man
over a year ago
Bedford |
"My Google alert for men seeking nice tits and low standards sent me here but now I see you need a nice personality too so I'm out.
Does a couple of cans of premixed g&t in the fridge count as a nice wine cellar. Asking for a friend?
If you gulp it down quickly and can burp the theme tune to the Muppet Show, you’re in
Funny you should say that, it's my second best party trick "
Does the best party trick involve ping pong balls? The risk assessment is a nightmare for that  |
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"
If you gulp it down quickly and can burp the theme tune to the Muppet Show, you’re in
Funny you should say that, it's my second best party trick
Does the best party trick involve ping pong balls? The risk assessment is a nightmare for that "
I picked the wrong thread to boast about my amazing cheese and pineapple hedgehog 
I start yawning and setting the alarms at 1045pm sharp |
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