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Longest period without sex?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So I was just curious what is the longest period you have been without sex? So oral, hand play etc isn’t included in this topic!
I will go first! Most of you probably aren’t going to believe me but the last time I had sex was in 2014! I had a major car accident at the end of 2014 and after that things went pretty bad for me in terms of confidence and meeting people socially… so it has been roughly 8 years for me!
Crazy I know especially because I’m on a swinging site, however I am slowly getting better and working towards joining the nudist community to try and meet new and like minded people  …
Anyways I look forward to reading you replies and to see if anyone can beat my record of no sex!
Take care all x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was married for 17 years, and if it wasn't for the 3 kids I would've guessed 17 years!"
So u didn’t have sex with your husband except for 3 times in 17 years? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A year and 7 months
And all thanks to covid, I never ever want to go that long ever again
"
I reckon there will be a lot of singles and even couples who didn’t live together at the time in the same position lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"10 years the first time , at least 3 or four years this time . Don’t spose I’ll ever have sex again now.  "
Why don’t you think you will ever have sex again? I kind of feel the same at the minute but that’s due to my appearance and self confidence but I am getting better and slowly getting more confidence |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I chose to be celebate whilst making arrangements for my divorce. My vows meant something to me even if the relationship was dead and buried.
So, roughly 3 or 4 years. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I chose to be celebate whilst making arrangements for my divorce. My vows meant something to me even if the relationship was dead and buried.
So, roughly 3 or 4 years."
That is so refreshing to hear in this day and age, it’s very rare to see someone still commit to their vows even when the relationship is done… I mean fuck a lot of younger ones can’t commit the relationship even when it’s still going on haha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I went for 11 years without sex when I had my daughter. I didn't want to bring any drama into her life so I gave up the dick."
That’s some dedication to your child right there , I’m guessing you have taken up the dick again now? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Since joining fab 10 year's ago going to try FB next might have better luck due to 3% less fantasist on their lol."
U been on here for 10 years and not had sex once? Have you had any meets at all? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"6 weeks is the longest I've ever gone without sex, and that was recovery after childbirth. I've always been sexually active since my teenage years.
Ruby"
When I was a teenager I was incredibly active, I still have urges all the time but I just don’t have that confidence anymore after the accident… 6 weeks is still enough to make you throb and get the sex shakes haha! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Almost 3 years...
That’s still a lengthy time 
I know.. been a hermit"
Do you mind me asking what the reason are? Happy to speak in DM’s if it makes you feel more comfortable??
And that’s goes for anyone who doesn’t want to disclose their reasons publicly |
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"6 weeks is the longest I've ever gone without sex, and that was recovery after childbirth. I've always been sexually active since my teenage years.
Ruby
When I was a teenager I was incredibly active, I still have urges all the time but I just don’t have that confidence anymore after the accident… 6 weeks is still enough to make you throb and get the sex shakes haha!"
Sorry to hear about your accident and your confidence. I hope you can rebuild your confidence. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"6 weeks is the longest I've ever gone without sex, and that was recovery after childbirth. I've always been sexually active since my teenage years.
Ruby
When I was a teenager I was incredibly active, I still have urges all the time but I just don’t have that confidence anymore after the accident… 6 weeks is still enough to make you throb and get the sex shakes haha!
Sorry to hear about your accident and your confidence. I hope you can rebuild your confidence."
I am getting there, I am looking to join the nudist community and try to go to some meets and maybe in the summer next year have a weekend away at a camp just to build that confidence back up again and feel comfortable in my own body again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Almost 3 years...
That’s still a lengthy time
I know.. been a hermit
Do you mind me asking what the reason are? Happy to speak in DM’s if it makes you feel more comfortable??
And that’s goes for anyone who doesn’t want to disclose their reasons publicly "
Well last experience put me off then was lockdown..and just was at home and depressed lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Almost 3 years...
That’s still a lengthy time
I know.. been a hermit
Do you mind me asking what the reason are? Happy to speak in DM’s if it makes you feel more comfortable??
And that’s goes for anyone who doesn’t want to disclose their reasons publicly
Well last experience put me off then was lockdown..and just was at home and depressed lol"
Oh no how did it put u off? Didn’t satisfy or just not the person you thought he/she would be? How’s your depression now? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Since popping the cherry I think the longest I've gone without sex is about 17 months... Blame Covid "
Yea quite a few on here struggles with covid lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"2 and a half years xx"
It’s really an eye op Ed this thread to see so many going years without sex, I thought I was in a club of my own haha… mind if I ask why? Xx |
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"3 years
Long time to go without, mind if I ask why? "
It was a few years after I was widowed. Had sex and got messed about so used toys instead and had no desire for anything else.
That changed and I joined here |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"3 years
Long time to go without, mind if I ask why?
It was a few years after I was widowed. Had sex and got messed about so used toys instead and had no desire for anything else.
That changed and I joined here "
You know I completely forgot about the use of toys whilst replying to the thread… I can imagine for both men and women toys play a big part of not needing the real thing as much or as often? And sorry to hear about being widowed hope your ok now? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"10 years.
Again mind if I ask why such a long period of time?
Was during my celibate Christian lesbian phase. Long story.  "
Ok ok I think this definitely needs explaining more haha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Almost 3 years...
Also I just wanted to say those nipples of yours are just incredible.. absolutely stunning
Thanks.. can't take credit for them lol"
All the same they are amazing, and the piercings just take them to the next level lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Pretty much the entire time I was married! And I did that 3 times
I became a born-again virgin each time, pretty much as I am now come to think of it  "
This seems to be a trend lol… get married no sex for eternity lol… I wonder why the sec dies so often in marriage?? |
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"Pretty much the entire time I was married! And I did that 3 times
I became a born-again virgin each time, pretty much as I am now come to think of it
This seems to be a trend lol… get married no sex for eternity lol… I wonder why the sec dies so often in marriage??"
Because you’re not right for each other? Because your other half is secretly gay - that actually happened once, and because real life gets in the way. Oh and also because generally it offers so much promise while you’re still new then it tails off to boring fit me in quickie sex. I can say my libido never tapered off once I just preferred porn  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Pretty much the entire time I was married! And I did that 3 times
I became a born-again virgin each time, pretty much as I am now come to think of it
This seems to be a trend lol… get married no sex for eternity lol… I wonder why the sec dies so often in marriage??
Because you’re not right for each other? Because your other half is secretly gay - that actually happened once, and because real life gets in the way. Oh and also because generally it offers so much promise while you’re still new then it tails off to boring fit me in quickie sex. I can say my libido never tapered off once I just preferred porn "
Well the gay thing will definitely stop the sex I would think lol… but seriously that must of been tough to here and deal with? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Eighteen months... possibly a bit longer. Not for want of trying though  
LvM"
What do you think the reasons were you didn’t have sex not through lack of wanting or trying? |
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"Eighteen months... possibly a bit longer. Not for want of trying though
LvM
What do you think the reasons were you didn’t have sex not through lack of wanting or trying? "
I wasn't exactly in a highly populated area which won't have helped to start. But whether dating apps or Fab, there was a whole lot of ghosting going on which was... fun
LvM |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
About 9 years and I was single I just had gotten fed up of sex that pretty crap if I'm honest. I then got into the habit of working a lot and not really going out socialising and lost my mojo.Then I got chatting to a friend about sex and how I missed it and she told me about fab and well I joined here and got my mojo back |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Eighteen months... possibly a bit longer. Not for want of trying though
LvM
What do you think the reasons were you didn’t have sex not through lack of wanting or trying?
I wasn't exactly in a highly populated area which won't have helped to start. But whether dating apps or Fab, there was a whole lot of ghosting going on which was... fun
LvM"
Yea ghosting sucks, I’m guessing things have improved now seeing as you are part of a couple? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"3 years
The broken heart in love wouldn’t let me move on
I was like 24 to 27 . Hiding in my caravan "
Ah man sorry to hear that, has the heart healed fully now? |
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"Pretty much the entire time I was married! And I did that 3 times
I became a born-again virgin each time, pretty much as I am now come to think of it
This seems to be a trend lol… get married no sex for eternity lol… I wonder why the sec dies so often in marriage??
Because you’re not right for each other? Because your other half is secretly gay - that actually happened once, and because real life gets in the way. Oh and also because generally it offers so much promise while you’re still new then it tails off to boring fit me in quickie sex. I can say my libido never tapered off once I just preferred porn
Well the gay thing will definitely stop the sex I would think lol… but seriously that must of been tough to here and deal with? "
He didn’t tell me until after I divorced him  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"About 9 years and I was single I just had gotten fed up of sex that pretty crap if I'm honest. I then got into the habit of working a lot and not really going out socialising and lost my mojo.Then I got chatting to a friend about sex and how I missed it and she told me about fab and well I joined here and got my mojo back "
It’s so easy to lose that passion for it after a certain amount of time, I have always missed it but there was a point where I didn’t have the energy or desire to go looking for it! But I am glad you have your mojo back now, that devil emoji tells me you are being as naughty as ever |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Pretty much the entire time I was married! And I did that 3 times
I became a born-again virgin each time, pretty much as I am now come to think of it
This seems to be a trend lol… get married no sex for eternity lol… I wonder why the sec dies so often in marriage??
Because you’re not right for each other? Because your other half is secretly gay - that actually happened once, and because real life gets in the way. Oh and also because generally it offers so much promise while you’re still new then it tails off to boring fit me in quickie sex. I can say my libido never tapered off once I just preferred porn
Well the gay thing will definitely stop the sex I would think lol… but seriously that must of been tough to here and deal with?
He didn’t tell me until after I divorced him "
Oh I doby know if that is better or worse, on one hand it says he respected you enough to not ruin the relationship with and on the other hand it can be seen as disrespectful for not telling you and allowing you to find someone who would love you for you… tough one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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About 2 years I think. Just never really had confidence talk talking to women when I was younger.
Just wanted to say, glad ur building that confidence and that ur doing OK OP  |
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"Pretty much the entire time I was married! And I did that 3 times
I became a born-again virgin each time, pretty much as I am now come to think of it
This seems to be a trend lol… get married no sex for eternity lol… I wonder why the sec dies so often in marriage??
Because you’re not right for each other? Because your other half is secretly gay - that actually happened once, and because real life gets in the way. Oh and also because generally it offers so much promise while you’re still new then it tails off to boring fit me in quickie sex. I can say my libido never tapered off once I just preferred porn
Well the gay thing will definitely stop the sex I would think lol… but seriously that must of been tough to here and deal with?
He didn’t tell me until after I divorced him
Oh I doby know if that is better or worse, on one hand it says he respected you enough to not ruin the relationship with and on the other hand it can be seen as disrespectful for not telling you and allowing you to find someone who would love you for you… tough one "
He made me feel worthless every single day. He was my best friend too! Tbh if he had told me I would’ve been fine with it and perhaps we both could’ve found what we needed while we were married. But he was a prick and didn’t bother so hey ho! You live and learn |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"About 2 years I think. Just never really had confidence talk talking to women when I was younger.
Just wanted to say, glad ur building that confidence and that ur doing OK OP "
I totally get the confidence thing, it’s a killer and sometimes it makes it hard to read certain situations with women! Thankyou for the kind words .. I will get back on the horse soon enough |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Pretty much the entire time I was married! And I did that 3 times
I became a born-again virgin each time, pretty much as I am now come to think of it
This seems to be a trend lol… get married no sex for eternity lol… I wonder why the sec dies so often in marriage??
Because you’re not right for each other? Because your other half is secretly gay - that actually happened once, and because real life gets in the way. Oh and also because generally it offers so much promise while you’re still new then it tails off to boring fit me in quickie sex. I can say my libido never tapered off once I just preferred porn
Well the gay thing will definitely stop the sex I would think lol… but seriously that must of been tough to here and deal with?
He didn’t tell me until after I divorced him
Oh I doby know if that is better or worse, on one hand it says he respected you enough to not ruin the relationship with and on the other hand it can be seen as disrespectful for not telling you and allowing you to find someone who would love you for you… tough one
He made me feel worthless every single day. He was my best friend too! Tbh if he had told me I would’ve been fine with it and perhaps we both could’ve found what we needed while we were married. But he was a prick and didn’t bother so hey ho! You live and learn "
Exactly it’s a lesson learnt but I’m glad it’s not something that seems to be holding you back in life … |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"6 months after the birth of my eldest - botched episiotomy repair 
Ouch sounds painful .. everything ok now tho? "
25 years later and it still causes problems at times |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"6 months after the birth of my eldest - botched episiotomy repair
Ouch sounds painful .. everything ok now tho?
25 years later and it still causes problems at times"
Bless ya, is there anything they can do to try and ease the problems? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"6 months after the birth of my eldest - botched episiotomy repair
Ouch sounds painful .. everything ok now tho?
25 years later and it still causes problems at times
Bless ya, is there anything they can do to try and ease the problems? "
With HRT, it's as good as it gets at this point. C'est la vie |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"6 months after the birth of my eldest - botched episiotomy repair
Ouch sounds painful .. everything ok now tho?
25 years later and it still causes problems at times
Bless ya, is there anything they can do to try and ease the problems?
With HRT, it's as good as it gets at this point. C'est la vie"
Bless ya well I wish you all the best and I hope it’s not to uncomfortable for you  |
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"So I was just curious what is the longest period you have been without sex? So oral, hand play etc isn’t included in this topic!
I will go first! Most of you probably aren’t going to believe me but the last time I had sex was in 2014! I had a major car accident at the end of 2014 and after that things went pretty bad for me in terms of confidence and meeting people socially… so it has been roughly 8 years for me!
Crazy I know especially because I’m on a swinging site, however I am slowly getting better and working towards joining the nudist community to try and meet new and like minded people …
Anyways I look forward to reading you replies and to see if anyone can beat my record of no sex!
Take care all x"
About 22 months after the traumatic break up of my former marriage.
I get bouts of not wanting sex which I put down to my mental health and not having a regular lover.
Right now my libido has been struggling because so much about men/people turns me off and makes me disconnected.
I know it's a me problem but my brain won't tolerate a lot from people. I'm not saying they are wrong for their preferences but their preference have a major negative impact on me.
For example there is a guy who wants me to choose everything we do every time we meet and my brain just gets tired thinking about all the planning all of the time. They call it emotional labour and with my mental health, I can't do it all of the time. I burn out emotionally too quickly. |
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Last time I had sex was 2011
Reason for it….we’ll look at me! (I’m FAT)
I have very little to no self confidence since a bodged operation when I was younger and also I’m that guy women think is really nice, like too nice and therefore don’t want me.
Shame as I love to tease and see the reactions of a womens body as I do it, I then love to lick and taste her turned on pussy
Oh those were the days |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So I was just curious what is the longest period you have been without sex? So oral, hand play etc isn’t included in this topic!
I will go first! Most of you probably aren’t going to believe me but the last time I had sex was in 2014! I had a major car accident at the end of 2014 and after that things went pretty bad for me in terms of confidence and meeting people socially… so it has been roughly 8 years for me!
Crazy I know especially because I’m on a swinging site, however I am slowly getting better and working towards joining the nudist community to try and meet new and like minded people …
Anyways I look forward to reading you replies and to see if anyone can beat my record of no sex!
Take care all x
About 22 months after the traumatic break up of my former marriage.
I get bouts of not wanting sex which I put down to my mental health and not having a regular lover.
Right now my libido has been struggling because so much about men/people turns me off and makes me disconnected.
I know it's a me problem but my brain won't tolerate a lot from people. I'm not saying they are wrong for their preferences but their preference have a major negative impact on me.
For example there is a guy who wants me to choose everything we do every time we meet and my brain just gets tired thinking about all the planning all of the time. They call it emotional labour and with my mental health, I can't do it all of the time. I burn out emotionally too quickly."
Sounds like a heavy burden, have you tried explaining to him the effect it’s having on you? And maybe he could think of some fantasies you could love out together?
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Last time I had sex was 2011
Reason for it….we’ll look at me! (I’m FAT)
I have very little to no self confidence since a bodged operation when I was younger and also I’m that guy women think is really nice, like too nice and therefore don’t want me.
Shame as I love to tease and see the reactions of a womens body as I do it, I then love to lick and taste her turned on pussy
Oh those were the days "
There are women out there for you dude, sometimes the right one will walk into your life when you least expect it! But we are all beautiful however we look and the ones that are worth being in your life will see you for you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Almost 12 years 
Mind if I ask why? 12 years is a long time "
Ex left when i was pregnant, then i didnt want anyone around my child and put my energy into parenting, then nearly 9 years had bad injury to the sacrum and spent years going from one specialist to another and no one able to help until last November i went to an incredible osteopath and he has me back playing football running and just been able to function. Losing the weight now from sports has me ready to start meeting again. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Almost 12 years
Mind if I ask why? 12 years is a long time
Ex left when i was pregnant, then i didnt want anyone around my child and put my energy into parenting, then nearly 9 years had bad injury to the sacrum and spent years going from one specialist to another and no one able to help until last November i went to an incredible osteopath and he has me back playing football running and just been able to function. Losing the weight now from sports has me ready to start meeting again."
Wow sounds like a lot to deal with .. well I am glad you are getting back on that horse again and I wish u all the best |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Almost 12 years
Mind if I ask why? 12 years is a long time
Ex left when i was pregnant, then i didnt want anyone around my child and put my energy into parenting, then nearly 9 years had bad injury to the sacrum and spent years going from one specialist to another and no one able to help until last November i went to an incredible osteopath and he has me back playing football running and just been able to function. Losing the weight now from sports has me ready to start meeting again.
Wow sounds like a lot to deal with .. well I am glad you are getting back on that horse again and I wish u all the best "
Thank you and same to you. Lifes far too short. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"2# months
2 months is relatively normal but still getting to a point where things want to explode haha "
that was when i was unfortunate to have contracted an STI “Chlamydia” from a guy at club - I had to take meds for one week to clear & then get myself retested to ensure clear of all symptoms before safe 2 resume play again. took an o/all period of 2# months celibacy
luv sex... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"2# months
2 months is relatively normal but still getting to a point where things want to explode haha
that was when i was unfortunate to have contracted an STI “Chlamydia” from a guy at club - I had to take meds for one week to clear & then get myself retested to ensure clear of all symptoms before safe 2 resume play again. took an o/all period of 2# months celibacy
luv sex..."
Oh damn yea that will definitely stop you having sex lol.. |
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"So I was just curious what is the longest period you have been without sex? So oral, hand play etc isn’t included in this topic!
I will go first! Most of you probably aren’t going to believe me but the last time I had sex was in 2014! I had a major car accident at the end of 2014 and after that things went pretty bad for me in terms of confidence and meeting people socially… so it has been roughly 8 years for me!
Crazy I know especially because I’m on a swinging site, however I am slowly getting better and working towards joining the nudist community to try and meet new and like minded people …
Anyways I look forward to reading you replies and to see if anyone can beat my record of no sex!
Take care all x
About 22 months after the traumatic break up of my former marriage.
I get bouts of not wanting sex which I put down to my mental health and not having a regular lover.
Right now my libido has been struggling because so much about men/people turns me off and makes me disconnected.
I know it's a me problem but my brain won't tolerate a lot from people. I'm not saying they are wrong for their preferences but their preference have a major negative impact on me.
For example there is a guy who wants me to choose everything we do every time we meet and my brain just gets tired thinking about all the planning all of the time. They call it emotional labour and with my mental health, I can't do it all of the time. I burn out emotionally too quickly.
Sounds like a heavy burden, have you tried explaining to him the effect it’s having on you? And maybe he could think of some fantasies you could love out together?
"
Just speaking to him was mentally draining so I just told him so and left it at that. My mental health has to come first, unfortunately. Not everyone has the capacity to accommodate that. Which I accept that we may just have to go our separate ways. I'm used to it now of having people leave or me having to leave. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So I was just curious what is the longest period you have been without sex? So oral, hand play etc isn’t included in this topic!
I will go first! Most of you probably aren’t going to believe me but the last time I had sex was in 2014! I had a major car accident at the end of 2014 and after that things went pretty bad for me in terms of confidence and meeting people socially… so it has been roughly 8 years for me!
Crazy I know especially because I’m on a swinging site, however I am slowly getting better and working towards joining the nudist community to try and meet new and like minded people …
Anyways I look forward to reading you replies and to see if anyone can beat my record of no sex!
Take care all x
About 22 months after the traumatic break up of my former marriage.
I get bouts of not wanting sex which I put down to my mental health and not having a regular lover.
Right now my libido has been struggling because so much about men/people turns me off and makes me disconnected.
I know it's a me problem but my brain won't tolerate a lot from people. I'm not saying they are wrong for their preferences but their preference have a major negative impact on me.
For example there is a guy who wants me to choose everything we do every time we meet and my brain just gets tired thinking about all the planning all of the time. They call it emotional labour and with my mental health, I can't do it all of the time. I burn out emotionally too quickly.
Sounds like a heavy burden, have you tried explaining to him the effect it’s having on you? And maybe he could think of some fantasies you could love out together?
Just speaking to him was mentally draining so I just told him so and left it at that. My mental health has to come first, unfortunately. Not everyone has the capacity to accommodate that. Which I accept that we may just have to go our separate ways. I'm used to it now of having people leave or me having to leave."
I was going to send you a DM so we could talk about your mental health but I see I can’t which is fine , but I agree your health comes first and there will always be someone out there who will give you the time of day and respect those things that make your life more difficult than it needs to be |
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"Last time I had sex was 2011
Reason for it….we’ll look at me! (I’m FAT)
I have very little to no self confidence since a bodged operation when I was younger and also I’m that guy women think is really nice, like too nice and therefore don’t want me.
Shame as I love to tease and see the reactions of a womens body as I do it, I then love to lick and taste her turned on pussy
Oh those were the days "
Dunno if you are fat but I'm a big woman myself so maybe you don't look that big to me.
Women do like confidence so that's my turn on.
I don't know if I autistic masking with perceived confidence. I like to get dressed up and take myself out even alone. It doesn't bother me and I always have a good time. People ( men and women) do talk to me and compliment me so that's a nice feeling. I realize that most neurotypicals can tell if someone is socially anxious or socially awkward. I don't always pick up those cues. Which makes me wonder if neurotypicals don't talk to people who appear to be shy because they don't want to overwhelm them or scare them off or they just don't know what to say to them.
The more I do it the better I appear to be confident. I have to be careful because I burn out easily so I spend about half the week hiding under my weighted blanket and duvet. Lol! |
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"So I was just curious what is the longest period you have been without sex? So oral, hand play etc isn’t included in this topic!
I will go first! Most of you probably aren’t going to believe me but the last time I had sex was in 2014! I had a major car accident at the end of 2014 and after that things went pretty bad for me in terms of confidence and meeting people socially… so it has been roughly 8 years for me!
Crazy I know especially because I’m on a swinging site, however I am slowly getting better and working towards joining the nudist community to try and meet new and like minded people …
Anyways I look forward to reading you replies and to see if anyone can beat my record of no sex!
Take care all x
About 22 months after the traumatic break up of my former marriage.
I get bouts of not wanting sex which I put down to my mental health and not having a regular lover.
Right now my libido has been struggling because so much about men/people turns me off and makes me disconnected.
I know it's a me problem but my brain won't tolerate a lot from people. I'm not saying they are wrong for their preferences but their preference have a major negative impact on me.
For example there is a guy who wants me to choose everything we do every time we meet and my brain just gets tired thinking about all the planning all of the time. They call it emotional labour and with my mental health, I can't do it all of the time. I burn out emotionally too quickly.
Sounds like a heavy burden, have you tried explaining to him the effect it’s having on you? And maybe he could think of some fantasies you could love out together?
Just speaking to him was mentally draining so I just told him so and left it at that. My mental health has to come first, unfortunately. Not everyone has the capacity to accommodate that. Which I accept that we may just have to go our separate ways. I'm used to it now of having people leave or me having to leave.
I was going to send you a DM so we could talk about your mental health but I see I can’t which is fine , but I agree your health comes first and there will always be someone out there who will give you the time of day and respect those things that make your life more difficult than it needs to be "
It's ok. I talk about my mental health on the Forum to serve as an example to other people who are too scared to say anything.
I'm no longer looking for non-professional people to support me through my mental health journey. I get a lot of professional help from my trainer, football group, therapist, support group and therapy group.
It isn't something anyone should face alone and it isn't something for people who have limited capacity in understanding it. My family, for example, do not fully understand so when I'm in a crisis, I turn to my therapists instead.
It works for me because I'm not pushing myself or pushing other people beyond their capacity. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"3 years 8 months ish. That will keep getting longer as it is now lol
Why do you think it will keep getting longer? "
Because im not currently having sex |
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Over 7 years with my ex.
Her friends kept convincing her I was cheating. When I finally convinced her that I hadn't, she came up with the stupid notion (helped again by same said friends), that sex should be a reward scheme.
Thankfully out of that relationship now |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"I chose to be celebate whilst making arrangements for my divorce. My vows meant something to me even if the relationship was dead and buried.
So, roughly 3 or 4 years."
That’s interesting. I was with my partner for many years before we got married and had kids together . Once we decided to get married we abstained from sex until the wedding might, I think it was a moth or two. That was 20 years ago. I don’t think I’ve gone longer than that since |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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2 years now, think I’ve forgotten where to put it , though my ex wife abscence was as long as she slept with her work mate behind my back while making no effort with me |
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8 months but before then 3 years. 8 months ago had my one & only meet from fabs, as I hadn’t sex for 3 years, got over excited & the sex was over in minutes!!! I can see it being another 3 years if not longer before I have sex again!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It’s actually been really nice hearing from everyone and realising that I’m not the only one who has gone without sec for such a long time! I don’t feel as much of outcast lol…
Thankyou all for sharing your stories with me , it’s hugely appreciated |
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I’m going to assume you’re not including the 15 years prior to losing my virginity?…..
In which case 5 years, last 5 years of my marriage. Ex wife has a global pain syndrome so sex became painful for her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’d say, since I lost my V plates at 16, it’s been no longer than 4-6weeks (tops).
Since being with my OH (10 years) I’d say never more than 4-5 days.
Lucky I know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Currently two years and counting! I think I’ve beaten my previous record."
That is not a personal best you want to be beating and such a shame for a woman in her sexual prime. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Right now I’m on my longest run….embarrassed to admit though "
Like i said u can always DM me and tell me if you don't want to share publicly or if you don't want to share at all that's completely fine also |
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