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Conversation just dies
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One thing I find peculiar about fab is when you’ve been talking to someone for a while, but then suddenly a seemingly innocuous question gets read and not answered.
I’m not talking about a first message, that kinda makes sense, they’re just not interested. But after you’ve swapped 30 plus messages sometimes and then the next message gets read and ignored. We have about a dozen of these in our sent folder at the moment, the last one for example, we’re on the brink of arranging a meet, the guy says he finishes work at 9 so can do 9:30. We reply “will you be shower fresh”….
Read, no reply. This is just one example. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It happens unfortunately.
I think if you have been chatting for ages though its ok to send a follow up without a response. People are busy and have lives. I know I often get messages/emails and think "I'll reply later when I have some time" then completely forget.
Obviously different if they have never responded or are clearly not interested! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One thing I find peculiar about fab is when you’ve been talking to someone for a while, but then suddenly a seemingly innocuous question gets read and not answered.
I’m not talking about a first message, that kinda makes sense, they’re just not interested. But after you’ve swapped 30 plus messages sometimes and then the next message gets read and ignored. We have about a dozen of these in our sent folder at the moment, the last one for example, we’re on the brink of arranging a meet, the guy says he finishes work at 9 so can do 9:30. We reply “will you be shower fresh”….
Read, no reply. This is just one example. "
I don't think I'd reply to this either tbh |
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"One thing I find peculiar about fab is when you’ve been talking to someone for a while, but then suddenly a seemingly innocuous question gets read and not answered.
I’m not talking about a first message, that kinda makes sense, they’re just not interested. But after you’ve swapped 30 plus messages sometimes and then the next message gets read and ignored. We have about a dozen of these in our sent folder at the moment, the last one for example, we’re on the brink of arranging a meet, the guy says he finishes work at 9 so can do 9:30. We reply “will you be shower fresh”….
Read, no reply. This is just one example.
I don't think I'd reply to this either tbh "
Why not? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Conversation can just die off…
In my experience I try and arrange a social before it does. Or sometimes I want to save the conversations for the social.
Also for your last example, I personally wouldn’t be impressed if someone asked would I be shower fresh. I’d be slightly annoyed if that’s the right word.
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He said he finished work at 9 and could be meet at 9.30.
You then asked if they would be 'shower fresh' ....... bit of an ask really in that short time.
Maybe he didn't want to say - No I won't have had a shower ... which gives you the opportunity of saying ..... On well no can do stinky.
So he backed out first.
My second theory is that the cat jumped on his desk and knocked his coffee into his keyboard there bye shorting all the of the electrics in the office. He grabbed a non insulated screwdriver to fix it before the boss came in and the leccy shot through the driver up his arm down his legs right through his bollocks and then shot out of his bell end. |
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"One thing I find peculiar about fab is when you’ve been talking to someone for a while, but then suddenly a seemingly innocuous question gets read and not answered.
I’m not talking about a first message, that kinda makes sense, they’re just not interested. But after you’ve swapped 30 plus messages sometimes and then the next message gets read and ignored. We have about a dozen of these in our sent folder at the moment, the last one for example, we’re on the brink of arranging a meet, the guy says he finishes work at 9 so can do 9:30. We reply “will you be shower fresh”….
Read, no reply. This is just one example.
I don't think I'd reply to this either tbh "
That was my immediate thought too .... |
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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago
Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?) |
"Think this just happens a lot, on internet dating too, it's a conveyor belt and the new shiny appears. "
... Will the cuddly teddy bear be on it too?
But to the OPs point, it's also a conveyor belt of just browsers toying with the ideas  |
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Conversations die for two reasons:
1. They start with “How are you?” and a blank profile. That doesn’t go anywhere at all.
2. You get suckered into a long convo about what they want to do etc and it becomes clear that they are not going to meet. I shut those down too as I am here to meet.
I do have long chats with people I know/meet regularly but those tend to just be more life/gossip things between friends.
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"One thing I find peculiar about fab is when you’ve been talking to someone for a while, but then suddenly a seemingly innocuous question gets read and not answered.
I’m not talking about a first message, that kinda makes sense, they’re just not interested. But after you’ve swapped 30 plus messages sometimes and then the next message gets read and ignored. We have about a dozen of these in our sent folder at the moment, the last one for example, we’re on the brink of arranging a meet, the guy says he finishes work at 9 so can do 9:30. We reply “will you be shower fresh”….
Read, no reply. This is just one example. "
No wonder you got no reply...what a question to ask!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One thing I find peculiar about fab is when you’ve been talking to someone for a while, but then suddenly a seemingly innocuous question gets read and not answered.
I’m not talking about a first message, that kinda makes sense, they’re just not interested. But after you’ve swapped 30 plus messages sometimes and then the next message gets read and ignored. We have about a dozen of these in our sent folder at the moment, the last one for example, we’re on the brink of arranging a meet, the guy says he finishes work at 9 so can do 9:30. We reply “will you be shower fresh”….
Read, no reply. This is just one example.
I don't think I'd reply to this either tbh
Why not? "
What TMontana said. I'd be annoyed if someone wanted to make sure I showered before a meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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30 messages isn't even that much though. Sometimes it's good to exchange messages for a while to get a better idea of a person to see if you're interested, that doesn't mean they owe you a response because you're having a chat.
Maybe if you'd spent hours talking each day for a decent length of time I'd understand why you're bummed, but with so little messages they probably just realised they were not interested or you said something they didn't like.
Sure, it would be nice to let you know but nobody is obliged to give you that. I wouldn't worry about it. |
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"One thing I find peculiar about fab is when you’ve been talking to someone for a while, but then suddenly a seemingly innocuous question gets read and not answered.
I’m not talking about a first message, that kinda makes sense, they’re just not interested. But after you’ve swapped 30 plus messages sometimes and then the next message gets read and ignored. We have about a dozen of these in our sent folder at the moment, the last one for example, we’re on the brink of arranging a meet, the guy says he finishes work at 9 so can do 9:30. We reply “will you be shower fresh”….
Read, no reply. This is just one example.
I don't think I'd reply to this either tbh
Why not? "
It's rude. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"One thing I find peculiar about fab is when you’ve been talking to someone for a while, but then suddenly a seemingly innocuous question gets read and not answered.
I’m not talking about a first message, that kinda makes sense, they’re just not interested. But after you’ve swapped 30 plus messages sometimes and then the next message gets read and ignored. We have about a dozen of these in our sent folder at the moment, the last one for example, we’re on the brink of arranging a meet, the guy says he finishes work at 9 so can do 9:30. We reply “will you be shower fresh”….
Read, no reply. This is just one example.
I don't think I'd reply to this either tbh
Why not?
What TMontana said. I'd be annoyed if someone wanted to make sure I showered before a meet. "
Would you leave work after an 8 hr shift and go straight to meet someone?
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"30 messages isn't even that much though. Sometimes it's good to exchange messages for a while to get a better idea of a person to see if you're interested, that doesn't mean they owe you a response because you're having a chat.
"
I think 30 messages is a huge amount unless it is part of a rapid back and forth. If it dragged on I would be out of that convo. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One thing I find peculiar about fab is when you’ve been talking to someone for a while, but then suddenly a seemingly innocuous question gets read and not answered.
I’m not talking about a first message, that kinda makes sense, they’re just not interested. But after you’ve swapped 30 plus messages sometimes and then the next message gets read and ignored. We have about a dozen of these in our sent folder at the moment, the last one for example, we’re on the brink of arranging a meet, the guy says he finishes work at 9 so can do 9:30. We reply “will you be shower fresh”….
Read, no reply. This is just one example.
I don't think I'd reply to this either tbh
Why not?
What TMontana said. I'd be annoyed if someone wanted to make sure I showered before a meet.
Would you leave work after an 8 hr shift and go straight to meet someone?
"
For a social or date, sure. Not for sex.
I would have said something like "why don't we make it 10, so you've got time to go home and get ready first". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It can be frustrating when you put more into a conversation than someone else but in all reality we all have lives we dont know whats going on at the other end of a message really we can guess but best not to overthink and just treat it for what it is simply the passing of time |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"One thing I find peculiar about fab is when you’ve been talking to someone for a while, but then suddenly a seemingly innocuous question gets read and not answered.
I’m not talking about a first message, that kinda makes sense, they’re just not interested. But after you’ve swapped 30 plus messages sometimes and then the next message gets read and ignored. We have about a dozen of these in our sent folder at the moment, the last one for example, we’re on the brink of arranging a meet, the guy says he finishes work at 9 so can do 9:30. We reply “will you be shower fresh”….
Read, no reply. This is just one example.
I don't think I'd reply to this either tbh
Why not?
What TMontana said. I'd be annoyed if someone wanted to make sure I showered before a meet.
Would you leave work after an 8 hr shift and go straight to meet someone?
For a social or date, sure. Not for sex.
I would have said something like "why don't we make it 10, so you've got time to go home and get ready first". "
That might mean changing clothes to some people. It would be more embarrassing if he turned up sweaty and smelly and they had to tell him to leave.
I've had men I know well come to me from work, knowing they aren't going to stink. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One thing I find peculiar about fab is when you’ve been talking to someone for a while, but then suddenly a seemingly innocuous question gets read and not answered.
I’m not talking about a first message, that kinda makes sense, they’re just not interested. But after you’ve swapped 30 plus messages sometimes and then the next message gets read and ignored. We have about a dozen of these in our sent folder at the moment, the last one for example, we’re on the brink of arranging a meet, the guy says he finishes work at 9 so can do 9:30. We reply “will you be shower fresh”….
Read, no reply. This is just one example.
I don't think I'd reply to this either tbh
Why not?
What TMontana said. I'd be annoyed if someone wanted to make sure I showered before a meet.
Would you leave work after an 8 hr shift and go straight to meet someone?
For a social or date, sure. Not for sex.
I would have said something like "why don't we make it 10, so you've got time to go home and get ready first".
That might mean changing clothes to some people. It would be more embarrassing if he turned up sweaty and smelly and they had to tell him to leave.
I've had men I know well come to me from work, knowing they aren't going to stink."
I guess it's just not a situation I've ever been in. I only ever go (showered) to their house or meet at a hotel. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe you could have taken a steamier route and said, 'oh, that won't give you much time, why not come to ours and we can start with a sexy shower together to relax and start to get to know each other' |
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As I said, this is just one example, but to clarify…….
Ive had people turn up before that weren’t shower fresh, so yeah it happens
I knew roughly how long it would take them to drive from where they work to my place, so was just making sure that their schedule included either a trip home to shower, or a shower at work.
But again, this is just one example
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As I said, this is just one example, but to clarify…….
Ive had people turn up before that weren’t shower fresh, so yeah it happens
I knew roughly how long it would take them to drive from where they work to my place, so was just making sure that their schedule included either a trip home to shower, or a shower at work.
But again, this is just one example
"
I think people are getting focused on this one example. Yes in this case it may be justified but there are plenty of times it just fizzles out |
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"Maybe you could have taken a steamier route and said, 'oh, that won't give you much time, why not come to ours and we can start with a sexy shower together to relax and start to get to know each other' "
Yuk! No thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As I said, this is just one example, but to clarify…….
Ive had people turn up before that weren’t shower fresh, so yeah it happens
I knew roughly how long it would take them to drive from where they work to my place, so was just making sure that their schedule included either a trip home to shower, or a shower at work.
But again, this is just one example
I think people are getting focused on this one example. Yes in this case it may be justified but there are plenty of times it just fizzles out"
One thing I've learned from being on here is if they like you they'll make the effort to reply. If they don't - move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe you could have taken a steamier route and said, 'oh, that won't give you much time, why not come to ours and we can start with a sexy shower together to relax and start to get to know each other' "
Oh my god the thought of jumping straight into a shower with strangers would give me so much anxiety  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As I said, this is just one example, but to clarify…….
Ive had people turn up before that weren’t shower fresh, so yeah it happens
I knew roughly how long it would take them to drive from where they work to my place, so was just making sure that their schedule included either a trip home to shower, or a shower at work.
But again, this is just one example
I think people are getting focused on this one example. Yes in this case it may be justified but there are plenty of times it just fizzles out
One thing I've learned from being on here is if they like you they'll make the effort to reply. If they don't - move on. "
Although having said that, they'll probably show up again a few months later with a "heyyyy how have you been? Still interested?". At which point you say "nope".
Or even better, they message you again clearly not having remembered talking you at all |
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Sometimes, people don't want to cause offence and say that they arent interested in a person(s). They can just be being polite and answer messages, and not actually be interested in a person(s), who initially messaged them. They idea is that if someone isn't very forthcoming, best just moving along. |
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"As I said, this is just one example, but to clarify…….
Ive had people turn up before that weren’t shower fresh, so yeah it happens
I knew roughly how long it would take them to drive from where they work to my place, so was just making sure that their schedule included either a trip home to shower, or a shower at work.
But again, this is just one example
I think people are getting focused on this one example. Yes in this case it may be justified but there are plenty of times it just fizzles out
One thing I've learned from being on here is if they like you they'll make the effort to reply. If they don't - move on.
Although having said that, they'll probably show up again a few months later with a "heyyyy how have you been? Still interested?". At which point you say "nope".
Or even better, they message you again clearly not having remembered talking you at all "
This happens alot! Oh my messages disappeared... Yeah sure... |
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I would have thought it would be obvious he wasn't shower fresh... I wouldn't want someone coming to me after a day at work on their way home. So I get where you're coming from, people have different standards of what's acceptable. |
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"You are probably just one of many options, and a better option came along, so they just stopped.. "
Possible of course, and on fabguys I’d say that was a common reason. On here the dynamics are slightly different for us.
If a messages gets deleted then that’s a clear signal. And a lot of the time it probably is just life getting in the way and people forget etc.
Hey ho, nowt so queer as folk as they say. |
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"He said he finished work at 9 and could be meet at 9.30.
You then asked if they would be 'shower fresh' ....... bit of an ask really in that short time.
Maybe he didn't want to say - No I won't have had a shower ... which gives you the opportunity of saying ..... On well no can do stinky.
So he backed out first.
My second theory is that the cat jumped on his desk and knocked his coffee into his keyboard there bye shorting all the of the electrics in the office. He grabbed a non insulated screwdriver to fix it before the boss came in and the leccy shot through the driver up his arm down his legs right through his bollocks and then shot out of his bell end. "
2nd theory is as nailed on as that carpenter lad from Nazareth. |
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