Such wisdom and tentative, marginal self-acceptance from you, OP, and from the first responses! I agree wholeheartedly.
Society tells us, every time we enter a clothes shop, open a magazine, or turn on the TV, that slim is best - indeed, that it is the only acceptable way of being. In an understandable, in many ways laudable response, there has been pushback in an equally simplistic way to say that body shape and fat literally doesn't matter.
The truth, as so often, is not so simple, is it? I, too, loathe the societal fixation on the 'perfect body', which is so clearly reflected here. Yet I, too, spend evenings working out. And, yes, the endorphins feel good and so on, but I'd be lying if I said that was why I exercise. I do it to look better. Is that my own pure view of 'looking better'? Am I proudly outside of the mass propaganda of society? No, of course not. I've internalised the messages, too. I exist in this society, as we all do, and my 'own' feelings about my body are mediated by and through that lens.
But I'm truly happy that you and Meli and Dan (and whoever may have posted since I began this one-finger-on-a-mobile screed!) are growing into greater acceptance of the way they look. So long as we maintain this avoidance of absolutes; so long as we remember that self-improvement is a multi-faceted journey, not a single, shining-city-on-the-hill destination; then I think we'll be doing OK.
And I thank you, and everyone I've met on Fab in my few weeks here, for being such beautiful, warmly accepting, good-humoured people. There aren't many online communities where someone could post something as raw, tender, honest, and vulnerably self-confident as the OP, and get such genuine responses as the OP. For a place which, on the surface, is so much about, well, the surface, there is an awful lot of love on Fab.
Ah well. Off to do some press-ups.  |
I'll blame Christian ethics and gender norms, some people are greatly diminished by such teachings. Yes on the whole egos need a squashing, but some people need an ego boost instead. Sometimes a child needs more to be taught to be full of themselves.
Re. Body/weight issues, it's so complicated, the fat hatred I've had instilled in me is phenomenal and I'm still trying to undo it for myself and others, not always succeeding. Irrespective of their condition, our bodies deserve much love and care for everything they do for us. I prioritise feeling good in my body, and maintaining some level of health over looking any particular way. Also, harsh discipline without self acceptance is pure violence, masochistic and ineffective. I don't recommend 
