FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Do they think it works?
Do they think it works?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have recently started paying more attention to the forums and have a genuine question.
There seems to be a certain amount of people who seem it’s okay to belittle someone or give a sarcastic reply to someone’s post. Even some seem they are looking to pick an argument.
If it’s a post that you can add a valid point to or a different point of opinion then I have no issues, if it’s something you vehemently disagree with then you can avoid it or give a valid opinion. But when it comes to the sarcasm and in some ways nasty comments, what are the people making them trying to achieve?
I have learnt more about people on the forums and their attitudes than I have through any profile that’s been written |
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I see some posts are made to be funny and I like to have some banter so i will entertain the silly side.
I see some posts are just there because someone can hide behind a key board, in no way should anyone be not kind or nasty |
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Some people know each though or have been on here a while and what can look like an unsavoury comment could just be funny/sarcastic to those who know them. It does go on though. Best to just avoid those people if you don’t like how they say things etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s a tough one as one persons humour is another’s sarcastic.. the trouble with the written word is that you don’t always get the inflexion in the voice or the body language to understand the *true* intent.
There are definitely some pedestal merchants though, that put themselves on moral pedestals over others in a kind of virtue signalling “look at me, I’m better than them” way.
It’s all part and parcel of the games that people play on here. Honestly I’m no psychologist but I am fascinated by “people watching” on here sometimes and seeing the games at play ..  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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Have you learnt more about people through what they post than in their profile or is it possible you're viewing it through your perception and thus any posts that strengthen your belief in someone you pay attention to, any that negate it you ignore?
I don't think you're wrong OP, there are definitely posters who are fond of sarcasm. Quite a few know each other though and it's more gentle teasing. Also, people are multifaceted; maybe they're having an off day and a bit more twatty than normal. Try and not read too much into others posting styles and just pay attention to those who make you smile. |
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My personal opinion is that forumites are an eclectic mix of diverse people rather than a symposium.
We all have our own opinions on things and each opinion does matter even if it appears argumentative. A prime example is the squirting debate (which I hope has been put to bed). That thread boiled my piss so to speak.
If I don't like a comment I just ignore. I'm shit at getting my point across in a text or message, much better and clearer verbally.
Have a great weekend everyone. |
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Sometimes, people ask for opinions, such as "do you like a certain act?"
The correct response is either yes or no, and maybe expand on why
Replying that any one who does such an act is a sexual deviant who should be burned at the steak, or any one who doesn't isn't a real swinger and should be sent to a nunnery / monastery (as appropriate) doesn't leave much room for discussion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is an element of "smug cuntism" floating around and others that need to fly their flag of "one upmanship" as often as possible. If I have nothing to contribute to a thread of think that my opinion is going to be taken the wrong way or picked apart by "white knights" and "simps" (they are equally annoying as the snug cunts) I keep me pie hole closed.
I tend to focus on the music, film and random crap posts than the serious ones.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A lot of people on here “know” each other just from being on a long time and are jokey with each other. I am but only with friends on that level, I can see why it might appear that way though  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am guilty of dry wit and dark humour so I take comments on things that I have said with a pinch of salt. There are people out there that confuse bullying with banter. I'm never purposely nasty. |
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By *rad670Man
over a year ago
South Lakes |
It's an unfortunate side of any forum on any kind of site. I unfortunately posted an opinion which with hindsight was not put in the best way if I had put my brain into gear first and not had a drink or two would not have normally said it in the way I did. It didn't take long for the woke pack to descend and commence the belittling, bullying and shaming. I felt the need to back track at first but then decided against so as not to give in to the attemptd bullying, I was wrong the way I put across my opinion and avoided the forums for weeks but decided the forums are for all, not just the chosen few with the same opinions. |
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"Sometimes, people ask for opinions, such as "do you like a certain act?"
The correct response is either yes or no, and maybe expand on why
Replying that any one who does such an act is a sexual deviant who should be burned at the steak, or any one who doesn't isn't a real swinger and should be sent to a nunnery / monastery (as appropriate) doesn't leave much room for discussion."
This is true but there isn’t really a correct response unless you count a correct response as someone agreeing with you, which an awful lot of people do on here. Personally I think the words judging and kink shaming are unnecessarily thrown about a lot on here. If someone does a thread for “lovers of BDSM” I wouldn’t dream of going on there and saying I don’t like it or it’s not for me. If someone does a thread saying what are your thoughts on daddy/daughter kink I will say I don’t like it and think it’s creepy. There’s a big difference. If someone asks your opinion and reasons then people shouldn’t kick off if they don’t match their opinion. Same with BBW threads. You don’t go on there and say I prefer slim women. But if someone does a thread asking which you prefer then that’s fine. A bit long winded but I know what I’m trying to say!  . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Have you learnt more about people through what they post than in their profile or is it possible you're viewing it through your perception and thus any posts that strengthen your belief in someone you pay attention to, any that negate it you ignore?
I don't think you're wrong OP, there are definitely posters who are fond of sarcasm. Quite a few know each other though and it's more gentle teasing. Also, people are multifaceted; maybe they're having an off day and a bit more twatty than normal. Try and not read too much into others posting styles and just pay attention to those who make you smile."
In all honesty yes. I can only view things through my perception. I am more than happy to take part in a conversation where valid points on all sides are out across, and actually I may learn something new or appreciate a side I don’t know.
It’s as someone has put later on that to call someone’s likes creepy or to shame them, that is where I don’t understand what is trying to be achieved |
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"Have you learnt more about people through what they post than in their profile or is it possible you're viewing it through your perception and thus any posts that strengthen your belief in someone you pay attention to, any that negate it you ignore?
I don't think you're wrong OP, there are definitely posters who are fond of sarcasm. Quite a few know each other though and it's more gentle teasing. Also, people are multifaceted; maybe they're having an off day and a bit more twatty than normal. Try and not read too much into others posting styles and just pay attention to those who make you smile.
In all honesty yes. I can only view things through my perception. I am more than happy to take part in a conversation where valid points on all sides are out across, and actually I may learn something new or appreciate a side I don’t know.
It’s as someone has put later on that to call someone’s likes creepy or to shame them, that is where I don’t understand what is trying to be achieved "
People in general will project their own ideas of what they want society around them to look like, this happens in all aspects of society. Including this little microcosm of it. The problem then is that everyone has a different idea of what they want it to look like. To further compound the issue, most people are only capable of seeing things through their own perspective and are unable to engage in cognitive empathy. The ability to consider the world from someone else's perspective and more importantly, understand why that person might think or act in a certain way.
So when they say someone elses kink is creepy, it's because they are only able to think about it as if they, themselves were doing it. If it doesn't line up with their own sense of self then it will be rejected and then they will project that rejection onto the world around them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"One might ask what is achieved by a post sniping about how others post"
So it’s sniping to ask a genuine question. And here on this exact answer I prove my point.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"One might ask what is achieved by a post sniping about how others post
So it’s sniping to ask a genuine question. And here on this exact answer I prove my point.
What have you proved?"
That you cannot ask a genuine question here without someone coming back with a snidey ass answer. It’s people just like you that make people newer to the lifestyle and this website stay away from it as all you can offer is bitch ass replies |
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I think the forums suffer from the same problem that every online chat forum suffers from - it is hard to read the nuance in a chat response.
People need to be a bit more patient when reading a response and not instantly jump to a conclusion that is probably not what is actually meant by the original writer. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"One might ask what is achieved by a post sniping about how others post
So it’s sniping to ask a genuine question. And here on this exact answer I prove my point.
What have you proved?"
So well done you’ve managed to make someone else leave here. I hope you’re super proud of yourself |
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Just like the real world, there are some very interesting and good contributions, some humour and a bit of sarcasm, mostly harmless, and of course some very argumentative and from time to some abusive ones which of course should be avoided as they so thrive on feeding them. I take the positives and stay away of all the negative ones. I will not let anyone like that spoil my enjoyment |
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"One might ask what is achieved by a post sniping about how others post
So it’s sniping to ask a genuine question. And here on this exact answer I prove my point.
What have you proved?
So well done you’ve managed to make someone else leave here. I hope you’re super proud of yourself "
Who left? |
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"One might ask what is achieved by a post sniping about how others post
So it’s sniping to ask a genuine question. And here on this exact answer I prove my point.
What have you proved?
So well done you’ve managed to make someone else leave here. I hope you’re super proud of yourself
Who left? "
The op  |
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"One might ask what is achieved by a post sniping about how others post
So it’s sniping to ask a genuine question. And here on this exact answer I prove my point.
What have you proved?
So well done you’ve managed to make someone else leave here. I hope you’re super proud of yourself "
OP - genuine question: is something wrong? You insta blocked me yesterday for using the word “react” in a thread you didn’t like. You seem to be jumping down wellinevers throat for a response that doesn’t seem particularly out of order to me. |
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"One might ask what is achieved by a post sniping about how others post
So it’s sniping to ask a genuine question. And here on this exact answer I prove my point.
What have you proved?
So well done you’ve managed to make someone else leave here. I hope you’re super proud of yourself
Who left?
The op "
Yeah I just saw. |
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Exactly I agree with some points made but the written word can be read negatively or positively, I don't enter threads with a negative bias because they insight negative comments, I like the friendlier threads where you can have a laugh  |
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"She'll be back tomorrow as Derek62727
On the positive side: that is one less person who has blocked me on the site
Only another 21 thousand to go eh?"
I am working on it. This week has gone really well for me |
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"She'll be back tomorrow as Derek62727
On the positive side: that is one less person who has blocked me on the site
Only another 21 thousand to go eh?
I am working on it. This week has gone really well for me "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you learnt more about people through what they post than in their profile or is it possible you're viewing it through your perception and thus any posts that strengthen your belief in someone you pay attention to, any that negate it you ignore?
I don't think you're wrong OP, there are definitely posters who are fond of sarcasm. Quite a few know each other though and it's more gentle teasing. Also, people are multifaceted; maybe they're having an off day and a bit more twatty than normal. Try and not read too much into others posting styles and just pay attention to those who make you smile.
In all honesty yes. I can only view things through my perception. I am more than happy to take part in a conversation where valid points on all sides are out across, and actually I may learn something new or appreciate a side I don’t know.
It’s as someone has put later on that to call someone’s likes creepy or to shame them, that is where I don’t understand what is trying to be achieved
People in general will project their own ideas of what they want society around them to look like, this happens in all aspects of society. Including this little microcosm of it. The problem then is that everyone has a different idea of what they want it to look like. To further compound the issue, most people are only capable of seeing things through their own perspective and are unable to engage in cognitive empathy. The ability to consider the world from someone else's perspective and more importantly, understand why that person might think or act in a certain way.
So when they say someone elses kink is creepy, it's because they are only able to think about it as if they, themselves were doing it. If it doesn't line up with their own sense of self then it will be rejected and then they will project that rejection onto the world around them."
I know exactly what you mean here. I have read a ridiculous amount on kink and I have seen various kinks through the eyes of those who participate in all the various kinds. So I can now say, "no that's not for me, that doesn't arouse me, or I'm not drawn to that mindset and dynamic" but at the same time I have great insights to allow me to understand what is so fulfilling for the kinksters who do play that way  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I see threads that I start as mine only up until I post it.
It belongs to the forumites at that point and you can't complain if they take it and run with it.
The OP probably came on with an agenda, seems like they played the dramatic script out to perfection, swishy flouncing exit and all  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have recently started paying more attention to the forums and have a genuine question.
There seems to be a certain amount of people who seem it’s okay to belittle someone or give a sarcastic reply to someone’s post. Even some seem they are looking to pick an argument.
If it’s a post that you can add a valid point to or a different point of opinion then I have no issues, if it’s something you vehemently disagree with then you can avoid it or give a valid opinion. But when it comes to the sarcasm and in some ways nasty comments, what are the people making them trying to achieve?
"
What do you think your thread might ach…..
Oh, you left?!?  |
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