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Why does my penis float in the bath?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's hollow
(Apologies, I've got the bit from the Bottom episode 'Carnival' going round in my head, when they're talking about the plastic duck that came free with the telly) |
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"It’s a test.
If it sinks, it is fresh. If it tilts upwards or even floats, it is old.
Hope this answers your question.
I thought if it floats it's a witch "
But only on 31st of October. So no, it’s just old. |
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"It's hollow
(Apologies, I've got the bit from the Bottom episode 'Carnival' going round in my head, when they're talking about the plastic duck that came free with the telly)"
Maybe you’re onto something.
If it’s not standing to attention it might have no blood in it and therefore it’s just a very beautiful piece of soft tissue  |
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"Are you farting a lot? I have “heard” that lots of bathing burps can create a buoyant gas cloud lifting testicles on high and causing flaps to applaud like hungry clams. "
A man like myself does not participate in flatulent activities.
I’m very refined I’ll have you know. |
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"Are you farting a lot? I have “heard” that lots of bathing burps can create a buoyant gas cloud lifting testicles on high and causing flaps to applaud like hungry clams.
A man like myself does not participate in flatulent activities.
I’m very refined I’ll have you know."
Well there’s your problem then, as you do not release gas, your body has evolved and uses your penis to store gas, like a zeppelin, hence its desire to escape into the air. |
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"Are you farting a lot? I have “heard” that lots of bathing burps can create a buoyant gas cloud lifting testicles on high and causing flaps to applaud like hungry clams.
A man like myself does not participate in flatulent activities.
I’m very refined I’ll have you know.
Well there’s your problem then, as you do not release gas, your body has evolved and uses your penis to store gas, like a zeppelin, hence its desire to escape into the air. "
Nah mate.
Everyone knows zeppelin’s are made of lead |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They only float in veryà hot water. Hot baths suggest you are loaded as the rest of us are on currently cold showers. A climate change protester will be with you shortly and glue themselves to your bidet. |
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"Instead of apple bobbing, get some nice ladies around and you can play penis bobbing...with your penis of course 
Great shout!
Know any?"
I do actually, one in particular, Welsh, champion penis bobber in her home town |
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"It's probably bobbing about in excitement 'cause you catch a glimpse of yourself in the bath platonic associate. 
Maybe it’s dead!
Maybe. I could always give it the kiss of life? "
Reviving my penis could be the greatest service you’d ever perform for womankind |
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"They only float in veryà hot water. Hot baths suggest you are loaded as the rest of us are on currently cold showers. A climate change protester will be with you shortly and glue themselves to your bidet."
Even my wife laughed at that… whilst on said bidet |
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"It’s a test.
If it sinks, it is fresh. If it tilts upwards or even floats, it is old.
Hope this answers your question.
I thought if it floats it's a witch
But only on 31st of October. So no, it’s just old."
Better crack it open and find out |
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or View forums list | |
"Instead of apple bobbing, get some nice ladies around and you can play penis bobbing...with your penis of course
Great shout!
Know any?
I do actually, one in particular, Welsh, champion penis bobber in her home town"
Champion penis bobber has a very good ring to it  |
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"It’s a test.
If it sinks, it is fresh. If it tilts upwards or even floats, it is old.
Hope this answers your question.
I thought if it floats it's a witch
But only on 31st of October. So no, it’s just old.
Better crack it open and find out "
You count my rings while I finger yours |
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