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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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just been chatting to minxie minx, and got a list of accidents shes had, i want to nominate her for a charity single from bob geldoff or an aid package from red cross, can any one help me out  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"just been informed that she poked herself in eye with mascara brush, thats her latest accident 
it bloody hurt too lol !!!!  "
i burnt my boobs on the bain marie at work... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I broke my collar bone, 8 fingers, have been hit by a car, woke up in a&e after being strangled, all this individually before I was 18. Luckily now I just get bruises although I burnt my ankle on one of the lights in partners  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I broke my collar bone, 8 fingers, have been hit by a car, woke up in a&e after being strangled, all this individually before I was 18. Luckily now I just get bruises although I burnt my ankle on one of the lights in partners "
any black cats around, walk under ladders,lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i burnt my boobs on the bain marie at work... "
Ah yes, well there is some good news here - I happen to be a boob burns specialist medical practitioner. I trained fo the very highest level and can cure any injury of this sort with my unique methodology combining kisses and caresses.
As I am a generous sort, I will gladly carry out such work pro bono for your good self and indeed any other FAB ladies suffering such trauma.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a run of bad luck with cars for a couple of years - accidents, vandalism etc but happily that has long since passed now.
I've had health problems but nothing much in the way of accidents. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been thrown twenty feet by a bull , run over by a tractor , thrown across a building and over someone's head by electricty .
I fell through a barn roof , had a hammer drop off a roof onto my head.
I have had my head stamped on by a BSE cow ,twice .
I have so many I have forgotten most of them .
The most amusing accident I had was I blew a cesspit up due to problems with a slurry tanker .
Mrs J hosed me down before she would let me in .
Want to wonder why I gave agriculture up ? |
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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago
glasgow |
i'm doing my bob dylan here.
could you please give some of the donations to _muma,she's the most accident prone person i know.
she has her own dedicated medical team,and bed in a&e.
please give generously,she needs help. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This thread is making me laugh cos .......................... everyone implies I have the most accidents and incidents and I dont by a long chalk lol ............... where's the person that normally mentions Elf n Safety and me!!!!! ?? lol   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been thrown twenty feet by a bull , run over by a tractor , thrown across a building and over someone's head by electricty .
I fell through a barn roof , had a hammer drop off a roof onto my head.
I have had my head stamped on by a BSE cow ,twice .
I have so many I have forgotten most of them .
The most amusing accident I had was I blew a cesspit up due to problems with a slurry tanker .
Mrs J hosed me down before she would let me in .
Want to wonder why I gave agriculture up ? "
Pmsl. How many lives have you got left?? Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been thrown twenty feet by a bull , run over by a tractor , thrown across a building and over someone's head by electricty .
I fell through a barn roof , had a hammer drop off a roof onto my head.
I have had my head stamped on by a BSE cow ,twice .
I have so many I have forgotten most of them .
The most amusing accident I had was I blew a cesspit up due to problems with a slurry tanker .
Mrs J hosed me down before she would let me in .
Want to wonder why I gave agriculture up ?
Pmsl. How many lives have you got left?? Lol"
Could add to that sliding down a very steep hill on a 1 cwt fertiliser bag banging head first into a bloody great lump of rock .
Did that in my early teens , prior to that the dumbest one was nicking my dads bow saw and climbing this huge yew tree that over hung the river , I was cutting a few branches when I had the not so bright idea of running the saw on the branch I was sat on , impressed with how sharp it was I gave it a few more goes and Bumpety Bumpety splash .  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Me and daughter are cuddled under duvet watching big bang. I have a steaming cuppa in my hand. Eva jumps up, screaming cos a cricket has escaped from steves tank ( cameleon),.and landed on her,.im laughing so much I spill my tea over me. Funniest thing ive seen for a long time |
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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago
Livingston |
"i'm doing my bob dylan here.
could you please give some of the donations to _muma,she's the most accident prone person i know.
she has her own dedicated medical team,and bed in a&e.
please give generously,she needs help. "
I don't get called Calamity for no reason.
Haven't had a major accident since I nearly lost my hand last year |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I shut my boobs in a drawer once
Ouch ! , how did you do that ? "
Well being of the larger variety they were dangling while I was rummaging looking for something in the drawer.
Got totally distracted and while I was yapping I forgot to stand up before shuting the drawer
Yes....
My name is Roxy....and I am a blonde |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I shut my boobs in a drawer once "
Ah, now would you believe it? You may have read my eralier post about my boob burn espertise. It just so happens that I'm also well versed in boob blunt force trauma.
I can see that I'm going to have quite a long list of very grateful patients at this rate. |
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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago
Livingston |
"I shut my boobs in a drawer once
Ouch ! , how did you do that ?
Well being of the larger variety they were dangling while I was rummaging looking for something in the drawer.
Got totally distracted and while I was yapping I forgot to stand up before shuting the drawer
Yes....
My name is Roxy....and I am a blonde "
hahahaha, ya feckin muppet!!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I shut my boobs in a drawer once
Ouch ! , how did you do that ?
Well being of the larger variety they were dangling while I was rummaging looking for something in the drawer.
Got totally distracted and while I was yapping I forgot to stand up before shuting the drawer
Yes....
My name is Roxy....and I am a blonde
hahahaha, ya feckin muppet!!!!! "
Ah, I've been waiting on you popping up with yer tuppance worth xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I shut my boobs in a drawer once
Ah, now would you believe it? You may have read my eralier post about my boob burn espertise. It just so happens that I'm also well versed in boob blunt force trauma.
I can see that I'm going to have quite a long list of very grateful patients at this rate."
Just wondering what time your surgery opens for a consultation?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondering what time your surgery opens for a consultation? "
My surgery is always open, 24/7. I'm conscious that boob injuries can occur at any time so run an emergency out of hours service to complement my regular practice.
just call 8008 8008 or text on 8008  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondering what time your surgery opens for a consultation?
My surgery is always open, 24/7. I'm conscious that boob injuries can occur at any time so run an emergency out of hours service to complement my regular practice.
just call 8008 8008 or text on 8008 "
Ah, you'll be needing a pic of the injury too then? |
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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago
Livingston |
"I shut my boobs in a drawer once
Ouch ! , how did you do that ?
Well being of the larger variety they were dangling while I was rummaging looking for something in the drawer.
Got totally distracted and while I was yapping I forgot to stand up before shuting the drawer
Yes....
My name is Roxy....and I am a blonde
hahahaha, ya feckin muppet!!!!!
Ah, I've been waiting on you popping up with yer tuppance worth xxx "
Best have an ambulance on standby for New Year....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I shut my boobs in a drawer once
Ouch ! , how did you do that ?
Well being of the larger variety they were dangling while I was rummaging looking for something in the drawer.
Got totally distracted and while I was yapping I forgot to stand up before shuting the drawer
Yes....
My name is Roxy....and I am a blonde
hahahaha, ya feckin muppet!!!!!
Ah, I've been waiting on you popping up with yer tuppance worth xxx
Best have an ambulance on standby for New Year.... "
Possibly...between the two of us its probably a wise move lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ah, you'll be needing a pic of the injury too then? "
Well, it really would help with my diagnosis. To be honest, it's very useful for me to have all potential patients' boobs on file, just in case an injury befalls them in the future.
If I have pics of size, shape, etc then I can often preempt the most likely cause of injury to that specific person and make some decent notes.
So yes, it would be in all ladies' best interests to inundate me with their boob snaps ASAP. It'll be tough for me to plough through them all but in the name of medicine it's a sacrifice I'm prepared to make. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I could go for a record here lol hmmm ok as a child I stuck Lego up my nose, hand on the old style electric ring while it was turned on, put curling irons in my mouth to see if they were hot!! ( I was taught to blow on hot food so seemed logical). Yes they were hot!!! Stuck a frozen pea in my ear. Now as an adult surfed on a airport luggage belt fell off torn the ligaments in my leg!! Tripped over the dog broke me ankle. I do so many daft things I get called calamity all the time ha ha |
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