FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Ok seriously, couple things
Ok seriously, couple things
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I find couples interesting. There are lots of couples I’ve come across and loved their profiles but my biggest thing about getting involved with couples is that I’d feel like an extra part, a toy, a third wheel etc.
Low-key when I left I’d be thinking - they’re definitely debriefing about that lmao and to an extent, in that situation you’re just an extra part?
Anyway TLDRers: what are people’s positive experiences ‘playing’  with couples? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Always a positive experience with couples
As I know going in that I am the 3rd wheel or a toy for them
I am good with that I don’t want or need the hassle off infringing on they relationship at all
I would say if that mind set isn’t there then couples aren’t the best I dear to meet for you
It will only lead to hart brake or trubble in retro specs off they realship
The key to being a good 3rd is understanding that you are just a toy / 3rd wheel for them
If you take your feelings out off it there’s no reason to not have a grate time |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Feeling like a third wheel even though it’s Lockober?
Sir, it’s BLACK history month. Idk about anything else  "
I’m Black everyday. Got a bunch of learning material as I know the history doesn’t start with Roots |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've been lucky enough to have some very positive experiences with couples. I like to build up the chat beforehand so everyone knows exactly what to expect, and where our personal boundaries lie. I've never felt like a 3rd wheel to be honest, but then I'd only meet with folk I feel I click well with, and who aren't wanting me to rock up as a marital sex aid  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Feeling like a third wheel even though it’s Lockober?
Sir, it’s BLACK history month. Idk about anything else
I’m Black everyday. Got a bunch of learning material as I know the history doesn’t start with Roots"
Starts with Django |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've been lucky enough to have some very positive experiences with couples. I like to build up the chat beforehand so everyone knows exactly what to expect, and where our personal boundaries lie. I've never felt like a 3rd wheel to be honest, but then I'd only meet with folk I feel I click well with, and who aren't wanting me to rock up as a marital sex aid "
Lucky make use singletons sound like commoners |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've been lucky enough to have some very positive experiences with couples. I like to build up the chat beforehand so everyone knows exactly what to expect, and where our personal boundaries lie. I've never felt like a 3rd wheel to be honest, but then I'd only meet with folk I feel I click well with, and who aren't wanting me to rock up as a marital sex aid
Lucky make use singletons sound like commoners "
Oh I'm definitely common... Single, or otherwise  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You said playing
I don't mind being a 3rd, helps not having a vested interest in their relationship. Also good they know eachother well so I can trust they'll get theirs one way or another. Takes some pressure off  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If you're meeting couples that treat you as a toy or a spare part then you're meeting the wrong couples.
Simples.
A"
Absolutely this. I’d be ashamed if anyone walked away from us feeling used or like a toy.
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I've been lucky enough to have some very positive experiences with couples. I like to build up the chat beforehand so everyone knows exactly what to expect, and where our personal boundaries lie. I've never felt like a 3rd wheel to be honest, but then I'd only meet with folk I feel I click well with, and who aren't wanting me to rock up as a marital sex aid "
 I’m going to need to borrow your little black book! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Playing devil's advocate here as I don't do disposable etc
There are plenty who ask for this scenario, to be used. The fuck&go that gets lauded weekly.
Each to their own. Just have to communicate which side of the fence you are on with it all and protect your interests |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I meet couples and it's always been a 3 way highly pleasurable experience for us all. It's about finding the right couple and having the attraction and chemistry with them both. No one should feel left out or used. Communication as always, is key. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have met a few couples and all the meets have been amazing. The key was to get to know them and build trust, rapport and a little excitement. If you get to understand what they want, what excited them, what their boundaries are, then it tends to work well.
Probably the best thing is to make sure you treat them as a couple. They both need to feel they are each involved to the degree they want to be and getting out of it what they want.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *N4funCouple
over a year ago
Manchester |
New on the scene and started with a couple of 3somes with single guys. We like to get the guy involved with the social side to build a rapport. Generally that works for us and to a point we all get involved.
As the male in the couple I'm the one who starts off feeling like it's fun and then feel left out and start to struggle. Have to step out the room and let them finish off together |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We would hate for a third person to feel like a spare part. I think getting to know each other and talking beforehand about things (all 3 people) would be important. We do talk with each other after a swinging type thing but mainly for our own relationship, to make sure we communicate properly. Depending on how successful it was, we might also relive aspects of it by talking/describing  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Feeling like a 3rd wheel is a reflection of the whole experience with you and them, it's very likely you will have fun and not see them again, or you could generate a real bond and basically be adopted as a valued member of the dynamic. If you find the latter, you are one of the lucky ones. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
To clarify I didn’t mean spare part in the experience. But you’ll always be an outsider in the relationship unless you’re dating them? Many of the things described here just confirm that you’re an outsider beyond the sexual experience. It doesn’t make for a great sexual experience that way iMo. But never say never |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"To clarify I didn’t mean spare part in the experience. But you’ll always be an outsider in the relationship unless you’re dating them? Many of the things described here just confirm that you’re an outsider beyond the sexual experience. It doesn’t make for a great sexual experience that way iMo. But never say never"
What about friendship? Like FWB but with a couple rather than an individual? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"To clarify I didn’t mean spare part in the experience. But you’ll always be an outsider in the relationship unless you’re dating them? Many of the things described here just confirm that you’re an outsider beyond the sexual experience. It doesn’t make for a great sexual experience that way iMo. But never say never
What about friendship? Like FWB but with a couple rather than an individual? "
That would be an interesting dynamic.
There’s still surely an unavoidable outsider insider relationship?
But being friends with both, beyond one social for drinks, I think would be the way to feel most comfortable for sure. I think that’s a best case maybe? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Do people have both the people in the couple’s number? And message them both separately (outside of arranging meets) or is it you’re always messaging a them both?
That’s a random thought I just had |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Do people have both the people in the couple’s number? And message them both separately (outside of arranging meets) or is it you’re always messaging a them both?
That’s a random thought I just had"
Group chat. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do people have both the people in the couple’s number? And message them both separately (outside of arranging meets) or is it you’re always messaging a them both?
That’s a random thought I just had
Group chat. "
Some couples don't live together. If the bf is late am I supposed to wait for him to put on the cock cage and hit record? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Do people have both the people in the couple’s number? And message them both separately (outside of arranging meets) or is it you’re always messaging a them both?
That’s a random thought I just had
Group chat.
Some couples don't live together. If the bf is late am I supposed to wait for him to put on the cock cage and hit record?"
Go with whatever feels right... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Do people have both the people in the couple’s number? And message them both separately (outside of arranging meets) or is it you’re always messaging a them both?
That’s a random thought I just had
Group chat.
Some couples don't live together. If the bf is late am I supposed to wait for him to put on the cock cage and hit record?"
You could put it on yourself and be sub(stitute)  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Do people have both the people in the couple’s number? And message them both separately (outside of arranging meets) or is it you’re always messaging a them both?
That’s a random thought I just had
Group chat.
Some couples don't live together. If the bf is late am I supposed to wait for him to put on the cock cage and hit record?"
that’s funny. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do people have both the people in the couple’s number? And message them both separately (outside of arranging meets) or is it you’re always messaging a them both?
That’s a random thought I just had
Group chat.
Some couples don't live together. If the bf is late am I supposed to wait for him to put on the cock cage and hit record?
You could put it on yourself and be sub(stitute) "
Don't mind a bit of FemDom. Can't tie me up though |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Do people have both the people in the couple’s number? And message them both separately (outside of arranging meets) or is it you’re always messaging a them both?
That’s a random thought I just had"
My couple are all bi, as am I and everyone gets an equal amount of attention and care when we are together, I just don't live with them. We have a group WhatsApp and individual and we all converse. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do people have both the people in the couple’s number? And message them both separately (outside of arranging meets) or is it you’re always messaging a them both?
That’s a random thought I just had
Group chat. "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about."
- Oscar Wilde
Of course they will talk and unless you did something really bad, the more they do the better. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Playing deserves that emote.
My experience with couples has generally been really positive. Only once felt like a bit of a spare part but that was more because the woman was a (not disclosed beforehand) pillow princess and it was very much about her getting all the attention. I was young.
Now? Good. Not had that feeling since. It helps that I tend to have a good friendship. And to be honest, I kind of expect people to have a little wank after thinking about what's happened, single or couple. So I don't mind it. I guess if I didn't have a good friendship first, didn't meet people who had similar views/ approaches to me I'd find it a bit meh. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"To clarify I didn’t mean spare part in the experience. But you’ll always be an outsider in the relationship unless you’re dating them? Many of the things described here just confirm that you’re an outsider beyond the sexual experience. It doesn’t make for a great sexual experience that way iMo. But never say never"
But that's the case whether you're a single joining a couple or another couple, or several singles. Unless you're poly and looking for LTR.
Dynamics vary in swinging from one offs, to repeat meets, to long term FWB's to full poly relationships. Anything bar the last still leaves the additional party/parties as 'an outsider' to a certain extent. But that's not wrong at all. And it never means there'll be a negative experience whether a one off or repeat experience.
It also makes little difference to whether the sex is great or not. You can have mind blowing sex with a complete stranger you'll never meet again just as easily as withbsomeone you've gotten to know over time.
A |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"To clarify I didn’t mean spare part in the experience. But you’ll always be an outsider in the relationship unless you’re dating them? Many of the things described here just confirm that you’re an outsider beyond the sexual experience. It doesn’t make for a great sexual experience that way iMo. But never say never
What about friendship? Like FWB but with a couple rather than an individual?
That would be an interesting dynamic.
There’s still surely an unavoidable outsider insider relationship?
But being friends with both, beyond one social for drinks, I think would be the way to feel most comfortable for sure. I think that’s a best case maybe?"
Just like with singles, you need to ferret out the people who are open socially and/or emotionally. Also some couples are very open, free style it, while others are the "joined at the hip" kind, or follow a restrictive modus operandi. If you have seen couples whose profile resonates I would encourage you to contact, it is very quick to see how they respond to you and if they're the right vibe. When the cards fall right it's such a rewarding dynamic.
One caveat, from my experience maintaining a higher level of connection with a couple is VERY time consuming! You hinted yourself, you go away with two numbers and a group chat, quite a few pots to water, esp. if you already have existing friends&partners. I only have one long term FWB couple, it takes a strong friendship to overcome the double whammy of low contact&infrequent meeting. As for high contact... Can take over your life  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
To us a person joining is never going to be a third wheel ever. Our goal is to make their time with us a very enjoyable be where they are the centre of attention and not us. The third person is not, and should not be treated as some sort of sex toy you both use. They are a human being just like the rest of us! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Try it and see op.
Finding the right couple that will treat you as an equal is probably as difficult as finding singles that understand how to join a couple respectfully.
Find the right opportunity and you’ll have the time of your life 
Good luck |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
