FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > If you have a " meet " today? should you go? or not go?
If you have a " meet " today? should you go? or not go?
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Dont understand, do you mean if you have arranged a meet. If so of cause you should go. If you mean if you have put a meet today up and havent actualaly been in contact with anyone then thats up to you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Decisions:decisions?"
If you've arranged a meet, of course you should, the only reason I wouldn't is if my daughter was poorly and needed me, although I don't quite understand why you're asking. |
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"I mean a " arranged meet " wood nerves get the betta of u not 2 go?"
No they wouldnt, if i had a definate meet arranged then i would definetly meet unless there was a very good reason.
If you cant make your mind up, if i was you id inform the other party pretty quickly so as not to waste anymore of their time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you have arranged a meet, nervous or not you should go, hell I get nervous, last week driving to a spontaneous meet, I thought I was going to throw up lol, but I still went, because I said I would. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why would you arrange 1 then be un_decided?
In most cases, it's the woman who backs out?"
But in this case it's You....
If you do back out... Be honest and tell them why... And in plenty of time...!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why would you arrange 1 then be un_decided?
In most cases, it's the woman who backs out?"
As a single woman, I can honestly tell you it's not always the woman who backs out, I have never backed out, but a few guys I was supposed to meet have |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why would you arrange 1 then be un_decided?
In most cases, it's the woman who backs out?"
Oh no its not...you find alot of guys who like all the lead up fun but also have no intention of meeting! Ive had this on a few occasions so i dont do the "wank fodda" anymore chatting to them...pisses me off! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why would you arrange 1 then be un_decided?
In most cases, it's the woman who backs out?"
.
My comment about nervousness being a poor excuse to pull out of an arranged meet applies to both men and women.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes I would attend an arranged meet. I get very nervous and shy but by not going you might be missing out on a fun time. So why not just take the plunge? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I mean a " arranged meet " wood nerves get the betta of u not 2 go?"
Well if you don't go for that reason then you are a time waster, and should remove yourself from the site. The less notice you give the worse the offence IMHO |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why would you arrange 1 then be un_decided?
In most cases, it's the woman who backs out?
As a single woman, I can honestly tell you it's not always the woman who backs out, I have never backed out, but a few guys I was supposed to meet have"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You have moaned that no one messages you talks to you and in fact said been rude to you. Man up stop and think. You are lucky to have a meet and your thinking of pulling out.
Time waster is not a pleasant word that can be labelling on you character |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I mean a " arranged meet " wood nerves get the betta of u not 2 go?
Well if you don't go for that reason then you are a time waster, and should remove yourself from the site. The less notice you give the worse the offence IMHO "
Agree, I don't think this is the site for the Op. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Of course you should go, be impolite not to, unless there was a valid reason, snd then you let the op know asap.
we had a social meet last night and the op was very nervous but through messaging was able to ease some of the nerves,. We all got on like a house on fire, and couldnt understand why he had been nervous. Everyone feels nerves before s meet, just relax and enjoy xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Op you have complained all week and woe is me that no one will meet you and now you have a meet arranged you are thinking about backing out 
"
.
I thought the same initially, however, I now believe the OP is trying to strike up a discussion on the subject matter.
I could be wrong, of course.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"what" "is" "with" "all" "the" "random" "quoted" "words"?
"If" "you" "arrange" "a" "meet" "of" "course" "you" "should" "go". "nerves" "is" "not" "a" "good" "reason" "to" "waste" "someone's" "time". "most" "people" "get" "nervous" "before" "meets".
"your" "post" "sounds" "like" "you" "arranged" "a" "meet" "and" "now" "can't" "decide" "whether" "to" "go". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Op you have complained all week and woe is me that no one will meet you and now you have a meet arranged you are thinking about backing out
"
Well said was thinking the same thing x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Didnt the op post a thread yesterday asking who had plans for the weekend...he didnt,so im assuming he has now arranged a meet or he is talking hypothetically"
@least sum-1 is reading my point. Yea " hypothetically " |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why would you arrange 1 then be un_decided?
In most cases, it's the woman who backs out?"
Empirical evidence would disagree with you, after a concerted effort, in the last month, we arrange 10 meets for drinks to see how we get on as a precursor to playing and so far we have had 10 no shows on the night. All were single men, no couples, no single ladies. One guy rearranged 3 times and still failed to turn up as arranged.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why would you arrange 1 then be un_decided?
In most cases, it's the woman who backs out?
Oh no its not...you find alot of guys who like all the lead up fun but also have no intention of meeting! Ive had this on a few occasions so i dont do the "wank fodda" anymore chatting to them...pisses me off!"
Same here, I'll flirt a little but no email ping pong, I ALWAYS turn up and have been stood up before by blokes....   |
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I always turn up to a meet no matter what. I've been lucky no-one has ever stood me up. People have told me they are no longer coming well In advance and they've rearranged. If I say I'm going to be somewhere I'm there no matter what  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Op you have complained all week and woe is me that no one will meet you and now you have a meet arranged you are thinking about backing out
.
I thought the same initially, however, I now believe the OP is trying to strike up a discussion on the subject matter.
I could be wrong, of course. "
Erm not sure...but I have read it as he has an arranged meet and now because of nerves is backing out last minute?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Op you have complained all week and woe is me that no one will meet you and now you have a meet arranged you are thinking about backing out
.
I thought the same initially, however, I now believe the OP is trying to strike up a discussion on the subject matter.
" hypothetically " I mean in general.
I could be wrong, of course.
Erm not sure...but I have read it as he has an arranged meet and now because of nerves is backing out last minute?
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
@least sum-1 is reading my point. Yea " hypothetically ""
Perhaps if you had made your so called point clear in the initial post, people wouldn't have misunderstood.
Personally, having read the whole thread, I still can't actually see any point to it
If this thread is representative of your social skills, I'm not at all surprised you're usually complaining of being ignored on here  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not having a dig, however, I would strongly advise the OP to work on his communication skills so as to express himself more clearly to avoid mis-understanding in future.
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"
@least sum-1 is reading my point. Yea " hypothetically "
Perhaps if you had made your so called point clear in the initial post, people wouldn't have misunderstood.
Personally, having read the whole thread, I still can't actually see any point to it
If this thread is representative of your social skills, I'm not at all surprised you're usually complaining of being ignored on here "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Even if we are talking hypothetically as you have complained re not having meets, if I was you I'd be jumping at the chance of a meet!
I think your post is utterly bizarre |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
@least sum-1 is reading my point. Yea " hypothetically "
Perhaps if you had made your so called point clear in the initial post, people wouldn't have misunderstood.
Personally, having read the whole thread, I still can't actually see any point to it
If this thread is representative of your social skills, I'm not at all surprised you're usually complaining of being ignored on here "
.
Glad you said it first before I posted my last post! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not having a dig, however, I would strongly advise the OP to work on his communication skills so as to express himself more clearly to avoid mis-understanding in future.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Didnt the op post a thread yesterday asking who had plans for the weekend...he didnt,so im assuming he has now arranged a meet or he is talking hypothetically
@least sum-1 is reading my point. Yea " hypothetically ""
So you have not got a meet and this thread has been a waste of time lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
@least sum-1 is reading my point. Yea " hypothetically "
Perhaps if you had made your so called point clear in the initial post, people wouldn't have misunderstood.
Personally, having read the whole thread, I still can't actually see any point to it
If this thread is representative of your social skills, I'm not at all surprised you're usually complaining of being ignored on here
.
Glad you said it first before I posted my last post! "
And me lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Even if we are talking hypothetically as you have complained re not having meets, if I was you I'd be jumping at the chance of a meet!
I think your post is utterly bizarre "
Not bizarre @ all. |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Why would you arrange 1 then be un_decided?
In most cases, it's the woman who backs out?"
How can you make that assertion? There is no way of knowing that. I've had a number back out of meets, all male. But I wouldn't say, based on that, that it is mostly men who back out of meets. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Even if we are talking hypothetically as you have complained re not having meets, if I was you I'd be jumping at the chance of a meet!
I think your post is utterly bizarre
Not bizarre @ all."
Well as I am not the only one, I beg to differ
Also why use @ not at ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't arrange meets unless I am certain I will be going.
I get very nervous & Im really quiet, until I know someone.
I would only cancel if I really had too (kids getting ill)
but then i wouldn't ever arrange to meet someone I was unsure about
'women usually cancel'  the op is digging faster and faster imho |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why would you arrange 1 then be un_decided?
In most cases, it's the woman who backs out?
Empirical evidence would disagree with you, after a concerted effort, in the last month, we arrange 10 meets for drinks to see how we get on as a precursor to playing and so far we have had 10 no shows on the night. All were single men, no couples, no single ladies. One guy rearranged 3 times and still failed to turn up as arranged.
"
If you arranged 10 meets and had 10 no-shows from single men, surely that means all your arranged meets were with single men. If you don't arrange meets with couples and ladies, they can't be no-shows.
Unless you mean you arranged 10 meets for groups of people? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why would you arrange 1 then be un_decided?
In most cases, it's the woman who backs out?
How can you make that assertion? There is no way of knowing that. I've had a number back out of meets, all male. But I wouldn't say, based on that, that it is mostly men who back out of meets."
I quote from myself " most cases " y do ppl on here, take things " personally? " |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't arrange meets unless I am certain I will be going.
I get very nervous & Im really quiet, until I know someone.
I would only cancel if I really had too (kids getting ill)
but then i wouldn't ever arrange to meet someone I was unsure about
'women usually cancel' the op is digging faster and faster imho"
.
The hole is so big the roof has collapsed by the look of it.  |
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"Even if we are talking hypothetically as you have complained re not having meets, if I was you I'd be jumping at the chance of a meet!
I think your post is utterly bizarre
Not bizarre @ all."
Since a few people have been puzzled by it and most read it that you were thinking of backing out of an arranged meet I suspect you might want to consider how you phrase debate topics/dilemmas when you post them in future. |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"Didnt the op post a thread yesterday asking who had plans for the weekend...he didnt,so im assuming he has now arranged a meet or he is talking hypothetically
@least sum-1 is reading my point. Yea " hypothetically ""
Unfortunately op, the way you ve structured your subject and originating post it doesn t read as a hypothetical question..
As others have said, unless un foreseen circumstances dictate otherwise, you should always turn up, ..
The nerves are part of the build up, they re the pre cursor, they add to the excitement of meeting new people, ... 'bring on the butterflies ' |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't arrange meets unless I am certain I will be going.
I get very nervous & Im really quiet, until I know someone.
I would only cancel if I really had too (kids getting ill)
but then i wouldn't ever arrange to meet someone I was unsure about
'women usually cancel' the op is digging faster and faster imho
He:he, I won't take it ( personally ). 99% of " FABBERS " don't no each anyway.
.
The hole is so big the roof has collapsed by the look of it. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
@least sum-1 is reading my point. Yea " hypothetically "
Perhaps if you had made your so called point clear in the initial post, people wouldn't have misunderstood.
Personally, having read the whole thread, I still can't actually see any point to it
If this thread is representative of your social skills, I'm not at all surprised you're usually complaining of being ignored on here
.
Glad you said it first before I posted my last post!
And me lol"
My head was hurting trying to figure it out ...it's much to early for this! lol!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have travelled from Yorkshire to Southampton for meets before and yes if the person is right for me would travel anywhere in the country. Trains are a marvellous invention so are buses come to think about it oh and cars lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I really don't get this
Why would you go to the bother of arranging a meet In the first place?
And think about the other person/ people .....
Seems totally selfish imho |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
@least sum-1 is reading my point. Yea " hypothetically "
Perhaps if you had made your so called point clear in the initial post, people wouldn't have misunderstood.
Personally, having read the whole thread, I still can't actually see any point to it
If this thread is representative of your social skills, I'm not at all surprised you're usually complaining of being ignored on here
.
Glad you said it first before I posted my last post!
And me lol
My head was hurting trying to figure it out ...it's much to early for this! lol! "
Agreed, and I was making sausage sandwiches and also sorting out Christmas decorations, so I think I'll merrily say to the OP, have a nice day |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
@least sum-1 is reading my point. Yea " hypothetically "
Perhaps if you had made your so called point clear in the initial post, people wouldn't have misunderstood.
Personally, having read the whole thread, I still can't actually see any point to it
If this thread is representative of your social skills, I'm not at all surprised you're usually complaining of being ignored on here
.
Glad you said it first before I posted my last post!
And me lol
My head was hurting trying to figure it out ...it's much to early for this! lol!
Agreed, and I was making sausage sandwiches and also sorting out Christmas decorations, so I think I'll merrily say to the OP, have a nice day "
Cheers. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes, you got attention, however, it also showed you in not very good light, IMHO! "
Not bothered wot ppl think of me? I don't no them. So, lol, i'l take their replies with a " pinch-of-salt " |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That " topic " I " posted " has got peoples " juices flowing ""
"My" "Juices" "are" not" "flowing"
"I" "think" "I've" "logged" "into" "the" "wrong" "site" "this" "am"
Anyway back to Christmas decs |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"That " topic " I " posted " has got peoples " juices flowing "
Please, for the love of God, LOSE THE QUOTEMARKS!!! All they are doing is telling people you don't know how to use them. "
" lol " |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I mean a " arranged meet " wood nerves get the betta of u not 2 go?"
No it wouldn't and given I have a shift in the pub this afternoon, and will be busy, I would rather a nervous meet  |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Why would you arrange 1 then be un_decided?
In most cases, it's the woman who backs out?
How can you make that assertion? There is no way of knowing that. I've had a number back out of meets, all male. But I wouldn't say, based on that, that it is mostly men who back out of meets.
I quote from myself " most cases " y do ppl on here, take things " personally? ""
Do not understand a lot of what you are saying. I do not speak fluent drivel unless I am legless. So will contribute more to this thread after half a bottle of vodka. Cheers!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP we understood the question!
He is not saying he had a meet set up and now wants to back down!! He is asking would you back out of a planned meet because of nerves!!
And no we wouldn't nerves are all part and parcel of meets!!
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
"OP we understood the question!
He is not saying he had a meet set up and now wants to back down!! He is asking would you back out of a planned meet because of nerves!!
And no we wouldn't nerves are all part and parcel of meets!!
"
i understood it to mean that as well,you just worded it badly,keep trying |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I mean a " arranged meet " wood nerves get the betta of u not 2 go?"
We would go but that's us however some people do get cold feet. If anyone is going to cancel then contacting the person and letting them down by phone preferably is a minimum as we see it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Decisions:decisions?"
I have read some utter pointless shite threads posted on this site but seriously mate, this has been one of the worst.
Its a swingers site so if you have a meet arranged then unless your a timewasting site parasite or have a genuine reason that stops you from meeting then you should go and not just sit there wondering if you should go or not
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well, if the meeting is set up, its only polite that you show up, unless theres a really good reason not to go.
And even if a person decides not to go in the last minute, it is always nice to send a message to the otherside, explaining why. It is bad enough having something canceled... but it is a lot worse to be kept waiting for something that will not happen.
As a final remark, the fact is that not all meets involve sex right? I have never been on a meet personaly, but from what I see around here, most people prefer to have a social meet first. So, the question is - would you ever back down on someone if you arranged a meet in some other dating site that wasnt sex related? Surely not! As such, i see no reason to back down in this case as well
Hugs and kisses |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I mean a " arranged meet " wood nerves get the betta of u not 2 go?"
From our experience its men that back out, yesterday for example, we arranged to meet a guy in a pub, we arrived, he texted claiming to be in the bar, only two other customers, rang his number, guess what, neither of two customers phones rang. Sent him a pic of the bar where he claimed to be stood along with time waster written underneath. Logged onto FABS to report as a time waster, surprise surprise , user no longer exists.
Luckily we arranged a back up, that guy showed and fun was had by all |
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"Op you have complained all week and woe is me that no one will meet you and now you have a meet arranged you are thinking about backing out
"
I got stick for saying this yesterday . Glad someone else noticed the moaning..
Of course you should go if you arranged a meet be rude not too . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nerves can be awful but if you wish to break the cycle and get future meets you will suck it up n go...good luck xx"
All depends what they'll want him to suck up |
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I was terrified before my first meet, not only was it the first time I met the guy but we had to drive to the middle of nowhere to get to a party! Lol.
Within 5 mins I was fine and we had a great time and have done a few times since x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You guys are lucky to get a meet. Why would you not go? If when you meet you dont click, you just got to say it to each other.
Id turn up for the meet instead lol im still looking for my first meet. Even a social one.
So, dont mess it up. Just go. Shes going to be expect you
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was terrified before my first meet, not only was it the first time I met the guy but we had to drive to the middle of nowhere to get to a party! Lol.
Within 5 mins I was fine and we had a great time and have done a few times since x "
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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago
with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc |
I admit I do suffer with my nerves, I sometimes visably shake or feel I am bright red when in fact I apparently just look 'normal'.
Even social meets, where I have chatted to someone for ages I still get nervous. I would never back out unless there was a genuine reason/emergency. I dont class my nerves as being an emergency, I just battle through them if I am feeling them.
Them barstweard nerves aint gonna grind me down no more! |
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"Why would you arrange 1 then be un_decided?
In most cases, it's the woman who backs out?
Empirical evidence would disagree with you, after a concerted effort, in the last month, we arrange 10 meets for drinks to see how we get on as a precursor to playing and so far we have had 10 no shows on the night. All were single men, no couples, no single ladies. One guy rearranged 3 times and still failed to turn up as arranged.
"
Erm.... I would take a long hard look at your selection process, one or two I could understand.... but 10? And one guy three times?
I'm sorry, but no-one would get a third chance! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Erm.... I would take a long hard look at your selection process, one or two I could understand.... but 10? And one guy three times?
I'm sorry, but no-one would get a third chance! "
LOL, I love how you feel that this is due to a fault in our selection process, especially after there is so many words on the subject of time wasters both in the forums and on people's profiles.
We did put some steps in our selection process and for us, the time wasters are all filtered out in the first pass. We have not been disappointed with those that we have met. So for us, even after a good hard look, our selection process appears to be giving us the desired results we want.
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