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I can’t cum during sex
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"Wife wants me to find a fwb one of a regular to see I I cum with another woman. She wants this fantasy to. Phone or text confirmation is available for you doubters "
Just curious. If you can't ejaculate....is that a physical and/or psychological problem?
And when You say during sex...is it sex with Lucy or sex as the male counterpart?
Apologies if I get it wrong as I have zero experience with CD/TV/TS. I have been with enough men who can't ejaculate though. Then there's edging and Tantric orgasms with no ejaculate.
Interesting subject. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wife wants me to find a fwb one of a regular to see I I cum with another woman. She wants this fantasy to. Phone or text confirmation is available for you doubters
Just curious. If you can't ejaculate....is that a physical and/or psychological problem?
And when You say during sex...is it sex with Lucy or sex as the male counterpart?
Apologies if I get it wrong as I have zero experience with CD/TV/TS. I have been with enough men who can't ejaculate though. Then there's edging and Tantric orgasms with no ejaculate.
Interesting subject."
Nothing about their post makes sense lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know this doesn't help but I can't cum during head "
I use to have that problem but found that was a mental thing you have to enjoy it and some good at it to do It |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know this doesn't help but I can't cum during head
I use to have that problem but found that was a mental thing you have to enjoy it and some good at it to do It"
Sorry about spelling phone problem fat fingers lol |
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"I cum to easy unfortunately "
Practice edging, think that's why I have issues now from too much. Quickest for me is around half hour now apart from very rare occasions but usually I need at least an hour |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I cum to easy unfortunately
Practice edging, think that's why I have issues now from too much. Quickest for me is around half hour now apart from very rare occasions but usually I need at least an hour "
It's probably that I don't have enough sex and that I very rarely wank |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It takes me ages to cum
And me sometimes...
I think I need some toys. Old skool wanking is hard work"
BJ's don't work for me but hand jobs make me bust  |
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"It takes me ages to cum
And me sometimes...
I think I need some toys. Old skool wanking is hard work BJ's don't work for me but hand jobs make me bust "
I used to be able to cum so quickly when masturbating.
If we are talking oral, we could be there a while. A finger or 2 would also go down well
|
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"It takes me ages to cum
And me sometimes...
I think I need some toys. Old skool wanking is hard workwell over an hour before I cum
That is a long time...I usually give in both hands are tired "
but the orgasm is awesome when I do cum and I cum huge |
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"It takes me ages to cum
And me sometimes...
I think I need some toys. Old skool wanking is hard workwell over an hour before I cum
That is a long time...I usually give in both hands are tired but the orgasm is awesome when I do cum and I cum huge "
Oh ok... worth it then but for me I'm not guaranteed the orgasm  |
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"I don't cum easily either
I hope you find someone to figure it out with, OP .
Lucky for your partner as they get more time playing with you x"
For me, more doesn't always equate to quality. Luckily I enjoy the journey x |
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"It takes me ages to cum
And me sometimes...
I think I need some toys. Old skool wanking is hard workwell over an hour before I cum
That is a long time...I usually give in both hands are tired but the orgasm is awesome when I do cum and I cum huge
Oh ok... worth it then but for me I'm not guaranteed the orgasm "
oh but you enjoy trying  |
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"It takes me ages to cum
And me sometimes...
I think I need some toys. Old skool wanking is hard workwell over an hour before I cum
That is a long time...I usually give in both hands are tired but the orgasm is awesome when I do cum and I cum huge
Oh ok... worth it then but for me I'm not guaranteed the orgasm oh but you enjoy trying "
Yes...this is true |
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"It takes me ages to cum
And me sometimes...
I think I need some toys. Old skool wanking is hard workwell over an hour before I cum
That is a long time...I usually give in both hands are tired but the orgasm is awesome when I do cum and I cum huge
Oh ok... worth it then but for me I'm not guaranteed the orgasm oh but you enjoy trying
Yes...this is true "
is it just when you are playing with yourself you can't cum or is it the whole time |
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"It takes me ages to cum
And me sometimes...
I think I need some toys. Old skool wanking is hard workwell over an hour before I cum
That is a long time...I usually give in both hands are tired but the orgasm is awesome when I do cum and I cum huge
Oh ok... worth it then but for me I'm not guaranteed the orgasm oh but you enjoy trying
Yes...this is true is it just when you are playing with yourself you can't cum or is it the whole time "
I can sometimes cum but it's minimal now a days. Tbh I can't even be bothered half the time to even try and I used to masturbate and cum multiple times...it was effortless. I don't have a partner as such but I do have the odd friend that I might play with. I never expect to have an orgasm but I do get immense pleasure from sexual activities. |
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"It takes me ages to cum
And me sometimes...
I think I need some toys. Old skool wanking is hard workwell over an hour before I cum
That is a long time...I usually give in both hands are tired but the orgasm is awesome when I do cum and I cum huge
Oh ok... worth it then but for me I'm not guaranteed the orgasm oh but you enjoy trying
Yes...this is true is it just when you are playing with yourself you can't cum or is it the whole time "
I need to get some sleep bit thanks for the chat, Captain.. goodnight to you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't cum easily either
I hope you find someone to figure it out with, OP .
Lucky for your partner as they get more time playing with you x
For me, more doesn't always equate to quality. Luckily I enjoy the journey x"
Lasting longer is more enjoyable but can understand to long can be thrusting |
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By *ucy78 OP TV/TS
over a year ago
Cardiff |
"Wife wants me to find a fwb one of a regular to see I I cum with another woman. She wants this fantasy to. Phone or text confirmation is available for you doubters
Just curious. If you can't ejaculate....is that a physical and/or psychological problem?
And when You say during sex...is it sex with Lucy or sex as the male counterpart?
Apologies if I get it wrong as I have zero experience with CD/TV/TS. I have been with enough men who can't ejaculate though. Then there's edging and Tantric orgasms with no ejaculate.
Interesting subject."
hi I can ejaculate while wanking alone but when it comes to sex wether it be as male or Lucy I can’t ejaculate. Wife says I enjoy the moment to much and release but that doesn’t feel the case to me. Thanks all for advice |
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By *ip2Man
over a year ago
Near Maidenhead |
"hi I can ejaculate while wanking alone but when it comes to sex wether it be as male or Lucy I can’t ejaculate. "
I'm sorry to hear this. Have you always had this problem? Were you able to cum with vaginal sex some years ago?
It can be a distressing condition.
The problem is a long lasting erection but no orgasm even after more than 20 to 25 minutes of sufficient stimulation in vaginal sex, followed by all-too-familiar feelings of disappointment, inadequacy and frustration.
It is linked to tension and/or conflict in the relationship, fear of the disapproval of the partner, fear of hurting the partner, too much porn, a style of masturbation that isn't like vaginal sex, and trying to orgasm too often.
I don't know if trying with a different woman is going to help.
There is literature on the subject that you can find online under the title of delayed ejaculation.
Treatment involves first addressing underlying relationship difficulties. Feelings of anger are an anti-aphrodisiac.
Another cause can be too big a gap between the erotic thoughts used in masturbation and the reality of sex with a partner.
Treatment could mean, masturbating directly to orgasm with the dominant hand, no edging, no porn, without the partner, no more than 3 times a week, for 3 weeks.
Then 3 times a week for 3 more weeks with the other hand.
Then 3 times a week for 3 weeks using a device like a Tenga Egg moving the body, not the hand.
Then introduce the partner and let her help, with her hand holding the penis and his hand over hers. It's OK if he does most of the work at first.
If he can manage that, and cum in the presence of the partner, then that is progress. She can do more of it.
If successful then she could put him in her when he is about to cum.
Try this article online: "Psychosexual therapy for delayed ejaculation based on the Sexual Tipping Point model", Michael A. Perelman. |
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"I don't cum easily either
I hope you find someone to figure it out with, OP."
Hugs, that's usual for women, unfortunately. I'm lucky that I can come quite easily but I'm not sure if that's just normal me or neurodivergent me. |
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"I wouldn't want to cum quickly. Spoils the fun! "
I have multiples so there's no such thing for me as too quickly. Once's that adrenaline and endorphins hit I can go for ages!...
the problem at the moment is getting bloody started.
Not much sparks in the last few years but once it get going, like a raging fire that will burn every bloody thing down!! |
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"It takes me ages to cum
And me sometimes...
I think I need some toys. Old skool wanking is hard work"
I have a lot of toys....One that actually scares me! I don't old school wank alone. But I will do it with a partner. |
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"I don't cum easily either
I hope you find someone to figure it out with, OP .
Lucky for your partner as they get more time playing with you x"
Once I get going...it's usually the guy that taps out first. Doesn't help that I have insomnia so I never really fall asleep properly after sex. Might dose for an hour but then I'm up again and still wet. |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"I know this doesn't help but I can't cum during head "
Women need loads of lube, men can get away with less, especially masturbating. Too much lube for a male can remove all sense of friction leading to no orgasm.
check your t-levels with a blood test. |
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"It takes me ages to cum
And me sometimes...
I think I need some toys. Old skool wanking is hard work BJ's don't work for me but hand jobs make me bust "
I miss handjobs....Now I'm getting ideas for Rio's tomorrow. Lol!
Everyone is obsessed with blowjobs and anal and there's a who range of pleasuring out there. |
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"hi I can ejaculate while wanking alone but when it comes to sex wether it be as male or Lucy I can’t ejaculate.
I'm sorry to hear this. Have you always had this problem? Were you able to cum with vaginal sex some years ago?
It can be a distressing condition.
The problem is a long lasting erection but no orgasm even after more than 20 to 25 minutes of sufficient stimulation in vaginal sex, followed by all-too-familiar feelings of disappointment, inadequacy and frustration.
It is linked to tension and/or conflict in the relationship, fear of the disapproval of the partner, fear of hurting the partner, too much porn, a style of masturbation that isn't like vaginal sex, and trying to orgasm too often.
I don't know if trying with a different woman is going to help.
There is literature on the subject that you can find online under the title of delayed ejaculation.
Treatment involves first addressing underlying relationship difficulties. Feelings of anger are an anti-aphrodisiac.
Another cause can be too big a gap between the erotic thoughts used in masturbation and the reality of sex with a partner.
Treatment could mean, masturbating directly to orgasm with the dominant hand, no edging, no porn, without the partner, no more than 3 times a week, for 3 weeks.
Then 3 times a week for 3 more weeks with the other hand.
Then 3 times a week for 3 weeks using a device like a Tenga Egg moving the body, not the hand.
Then introduce the partner and let her help, with her hand holding the penis and his hand over hers. It's OK if he does most of the work at first.
If he can manage that, and cum in the presence of the partner, then that is progress. She can do more of it.
If successful then she could put him in her when he is about to cum.
Try this article online: "Psychosexual therapy for delayed ejaculation based on the Sexual Tipping Point model", Michael A. Perelman."
Fantastic advice! Glad another man could be more expansive. |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
Stay with me on this one...
The sneeze and the male orgasm are the same.
You feel better when you've had it, but get really stressed when the edging goes on for ever, the frustration starts to put a dampener on things. To the point where you think "for fuck's sake let me get this over and done with!"
One explosion later, "aaah that's better"
I can only imagine a multiple sneezing session and orgams are mutual twins, "build up, release, build up, release" til it finishes or you loose energy.
|
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"It takes me ages to cum
And me sometimes...
I think I need some toys. Old skool wanking is hard workwell over an hour before I cum
That is a long time...I usually give in both hands are tired but the orgasm is awesome when I do cum and I cum huge
Oh ok... worth it then but for me I'm not guaranteed the orgasm oh but you enjoy trying
Yes...this is true is it just when you are playing with yourself you can't cum or is it the whole time
I can sometimes cum but it's minimal now a days. Tbh I can't even be bothered half the time to even try and I used to masturbate and cum multiple times...it was effortless. I don't have a partner as such but I do have the odd friend that I might play with. I never expect to have an orgasm but I do get immense pleasure from sexual activities."
Sounds like the menopause. I feel peri-menopausal so actually getting the spark is abysmal. Although it appears that once the spark starts everything is good to go and firing on all cyclinders. |
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"People don’t cum when they have sex with me. 
°
But they still cum for the endless pleasure of your company. 
You sweet talker.
They don’t. Trust me.  "
Hugs. I have no problem giving directions and instructions. Lol! |
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"Stay with me on this one...
The sneeze and the male orgasm are the same.
You feel better when you've had it, but get really stressed when the edging goes on for ever, the frustration starts to put a dampener on things. To the point where you think "for fuck's sake let me get this over and done with!"
One explosion later, "aaah that's better"
I can only imagine a multiple sneezing session and orgams are mutual twins, "build up, release, build up, release" til it finishes or you loose energy.
"
On my porn hub travels I came across The Wild Naked man. I was like holy shit this man claims to have multiple male orgasms without ejaculating! But the dude is like some sort of Tantric Yogi Sex Kung Fu artist!! He's definitely doing the male version of Kegels! |
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By *ip2Man
over a year ago
Near Maidenhead |
I am afraid that those commenting that they are able to orgasm successfully to some degree in partnered sex are not helpful to the OP.
Those comments may increase the feeling of alienation felt by the OP. |
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By *ip2Man
over a year ago
Near Maidenhead |
"Fantastic advice! "
Thank you, it comes from having experienced the problem myself.
By the way, it is a good idea to trim the quote when replying, rather than repeating the whole post followed by a remark.
It takes up less space on the screen and makes the thread easier to read. |
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By *ip2Man
over a year ago
Near Maidenhead |
"I wouldn't want to cum quickly. "
This poster says he is able to ejaculate inside a woman alright. Well, good for him.
But if it takes too long, and there is an excessive and unwanted delay, or in severe cases, the man is unable to ejaculate at all, then it can be distressing for the man and the woman.
The man may feel inadequate and the woman may ask herself, reasonably, what's wrong, does he not like me, or something?
For the man, not being able to satisfy the partner in the desired way can be distressing.
More obviously, an inability to ejaculate inside is a problem if the couple are trying for a baby. |
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"Wife wants me to find a fwb one of a regular to see I I cum with another woman. She wants this fantasy to. Phone or text confirmation is available for you doubters "
Good luck Lucy. It is very possible to be aroused and cum more easily with a new partner. It's the variety and the novelty we seek.
At least you will be one step further to finding out.
|
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By *ip2Man
over a year ago
Near Maidenhead |
The OP Lucy says that his wife knows and approves but I wonder if she truly embraces the idea.
The OP says in his profile that he already has infrequent sex with her.
It could be that she is consenting, seeing it as a better alternative to losing her partner altogether, but doesn't wholeheartedly enjoy it.
The literature says that fear of the disapproval of the partner can be a cause.
I wonder how the proposed sex with a different woman to see if ejaculation occurs is going to work in practice? Who is going to pick the substitute woman? Is the OP's wife going to be in the room when the attempt takes place?
What if it actually works? I wonder what happens if the project is successful - he can do it with another woman? OP Lucy could say to his wife, "See, it's not me, it's you!" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People don’t cum when they have sex with me.
°
But they still cum for the endless pleasure of your company.
You sweet talker.
They don’t. Trust me.
Hugs. I have no problem giving directions and instructions. Lol!"
 oh is that so? |
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By *ip2Man
over a year ago
Near Maidenhead |
What if the project fails and OP Lucy discovers to his surprise and dismay that he can't ejaculate inside a different woman either?
I suppose he would have to concede that the problem is right there in himself after all.
What would his wife's reaction be to his actually doing it with another woman? |
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By *ucy78 OP TV/TS
over a year ago
Cardiff |
As I said previously wife is fully aware. Her full knowledge. Part of our issue is the wife orgasms very quickly and loses mojo straight away she isn’t a repeater as she says it’s the most unpleasant sensation afterwards to touch down below. So she is happy to see if I can orgasm with someone else and then take it from there |
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By *ucy78 OP TV/TS
over a year ago
Cardiff |
Thanks for advice from the genuine helpful comments. I have considered if it’s a mental problem but until I try I’ll never find out.
Ps the wife cannot get pregnant so that’s not an issue |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"In the first 10 mins I can cum or not whenever I want. After about 10 mins though and it can be really hard to cum and take ages.
Never been able to cum purely from anal though.
Interesting"
It could be down to speed of stimulation
The hand is faster than the mouth
which is faster than the vagina
which not surprisingly tends to be faster than the
anus.
Maybe your cock likes a faster speed. Similar story to sex toys going faster and faster, to hit that sweet spot. |
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"In the first 10 mins I can cum or not whenever I want. After about 10 mins though and it can be really hard to cum and take ages.
Never been able to cum purely from anal though.
Interesting
It could be down to speed of stimulation
The hand is faster than the mouth
which is faster than the vagina
which not surprisingly tends to be faster than the
anus.
Maybe your cock likes a faster speed. Similar story to sex toys going faster and faster, to hit that sweet spot."
Too much continuous speed just makes it go numb eventually. It's more about mental stimulation and keeping all my senses interested. Sex often gets boring after a while and I lose interest. It's why I like fetish wear, it's visually, physically and mentally stimulating.
In regards to anal I'm talking about recieving |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It takes me ages to cum
And me sometimes...
I think I need some toys. Old skool wanking is hard work BJ's don't work for me but hand jobs make me bust
I used to be able to cum so quickly when masturbating.
If we are talking oral, we could be there a while. A finger or 2 would also go down well
"
hand stuff works for me, maybe I haven't had oral stimulation correctly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had this issue I had alot going on aswel as mental health problems even trying masturbating was impossible to finish but I took some time out over a weekend to relax broke out the baby oil thought of some fantasies of mine and hey presto hope this helps |
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By *ucy78 OP TV/TS
over a year ago
Cardiff |
I love my wife. But we are technically in role reversal. I want her to have someone as I think it would help me orgasm. But her preference is me to have someone to see what happens. But she likes the thought me having FWB anyway |
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