FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Confidence or no confidence
Confidence or no confidence
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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At what point does "not my type" knock your confidence?
I know we're all a fairly thick skinned bunch on fab, so the answer is probably going vary wildly |
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By *rad670Man
over a year ago
South Lakes |
It only knocks my confidence if it's a no after sending a face pic, I think it's because I think all is good up to that point so whenever asked for a face pic my confidence takes a dive even before the "not for us" message. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
Guys, correct me if I am wrong, and I am saying this from the female perspective, of course.
If I like a guy and get to the point of arranging a meet, then get a face picture it may not necessarily that the face is unattractive.
I may just mean he reminds me of somebody or evokes a particular non sexual response.
Could you try and perhaps see it less as a full-on rejection and statement you are not attractive but more of a "you are not what I am looking for at this moment in time"? |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"If I were to receive constant and consistent not my type messages I think it would eventually knock my confidence. "
I understand where you are coming from, totally.
I am just thinking that I know a few guys who are facially unattractive but I still find them sexy, equally there are some with Adonis like facial features and they do not appeal.
I guess I am saying it is more than a face but sometimes the face (reflecting the personality and evoking transference from one's own experience) can be a turn off for different reasons, maybe? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It does if it happens a few times in the short space of each other. I don't even get the "not my type" replies but no replies at all after showing a face picture after exchanging a few messages. It hurts if it seems like we've got on as well but it's not something I dwell over too much like I used to. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It does if it happens a few times in the short space of each other. I don't even get the "not my type" replies but no replies at all after showing a face picture after exchanging a few messages. It hurts if it seems like we've got on as well but it's not something I dwell over too much like I used to."
I get that totally  |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"It does if it happens a few times in the short space of each other. I don't even get the "not my type" replies but no replies at all after showing a face picture after exchanging a few messages. It hurts if it seems like we've got on as well but it's not something I dwell over too much like I used to."
That I understand completely - if you have been exchanging messages etc... it is a bit unkind to just close the conversation without a closure so to speak. |
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We are here for the right connections - we have a fantastic sex life and so we aren’t looking for just a quick hook up. We ideally want local people so we can meet regular and build up a connection.
We and I guess a lot of others are looking for a needle in a haystack…
So the likelihood is 9 times out of 10 people aren’t going to be our type.
This site is tough but what you’ve got to remember is a lot of people have certain criteria, so you could be knocked out for not fitting that, rather than it just be your face.
K
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"For me personally, "Sorry, not my type" doesn't particularly knock my confidence. Just being ignored is significantly worse. "
Is that after a conversation or just first message? |
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By *abrina59TV/TS
over a year ago
moved to cuckold land |
There are so many variable that we cant meet everyones wishes in someone.
some ive met i never expected to be their type so ive been able look at it in that light and not let rejection get me down. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That’s why I don’t really use those words.
When I am not attracted to someone, and it may not be due to a physical feature but more so due to the whole profile, I usually said that I think we are sexually incompatible. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That’s why I don’t really use those words.
When I am not attracted to someone, and it may not be due to a physical feature but more so due to the whole profile, I usually said that I think we are sexually incompatible. "
You could of said it more gently to me though to be fair. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me personally, "Sorry, not my type" doesn't particularly knock my confidence. Just being ignored is significantly worse.
Is that after a conversation or just first message?"
After a first message I do not mind at all and don’t read too much into it. But once we move onto the stage where we exchange elsewhere than on fab I do appreciate the symmetry of messages and if I feel like doing a monologue, I just move on. But it does hurt somehow. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That’s why I don’t really use those words.
When I am not attracted to someone, and it may not be due to a physical feature but more so due to the whole profile, I usually said that I think we are sexually incompatible.
You could of said it more gently to me though to be fair. "
I’d still love to try if my pencil dick fits into your pencil sharpener though |
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"For me personally, "Sorry, not my type" doesn't particularly knock my confidence. Just being ignored is significantly worse.
Is that after a conversation or just first message?"
Both. I'd rather get a message saying "Fuck off you ugly cunt" than just get silence. At least it's honest and unambiguous. |
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"If I were to receive constant and consistent not my type messages I think it would eventually knock my confidence.
I understand where you are coming from, totally.
I am just thinking that I know a few guys who are facially unattractive but I still find them sexy, equally there are some with Adonis like facial features and they do not appeal.
I guess I am saying it is more than a face but sometimes the face (reflecting the personality and evoking transference from one's own experience) can be a turn off for different reasons, maybe?"
I broadly agree. There's usually an indefinable something that can make one person more attractive than another even if they're identical twins
We humans are delicate creatures though and I think you'd need a hide like a rhino and rock solid self esteem to cope with constant rejection on the grounds that you're not someone's type. I can understand being one person in a hundreds type and be fine with that but I don't want the other 99 to tell me I'm not.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That’s why I don’t really use those words.
When I am not attracted to someone, and it may not be due to a physical feature but more so due to the whole profile, I usually said that I think we are sexually incompatible.
You could of said it more gently to me though to be fair.
I’d still love to try if my pencil dick fits into your pencil sharpener though "
I like pencils. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I were to receive constant and consistent not my type messages I think it would eventually knock my confidence.
I understand where you are coming from, totally.
I am just thinking that I know a few guys who are facially unattractive but I still find them sexy, equally there are some with Adonis like facial features and they do not appeal.
I guess I am saying it is more than a face but sometimes the face (reflecting the personality and evoking transference from one's own experience) can be a turn off for different reasons, maybe?"
Agreed |
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I am a skinny, shaven headed pervert, at some point imma gonna get lucky until then, I’ll roll with punches
((Just kidding, not about the pervert, skinny or shaven-headed bit, but rolling with the punches, I don’t message first, lest I shatter like frost-kissed glass  ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My non confidence comes from me not others I had a bad accident in work last year leaving me physically different to who I was and through that confidence dropped when trying to attract the opposite sex, what I've learned is that me not the other person I'm for some not everyone there's profiles I just won't message because there way out my league but who's to say I'm not what they actually like just need to grow a pair n go for it |
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"At what point does "not my type" knock your confidence?
I know we're all a fairly thick skinned bunch on fab, so the answer is probably going vary wildly "
I haven't really had any negative comments so not sure where this is coming from a lot of people just don't answer and the ones that do thus far have been nice  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The thing is, even after a face pic has been exchanged, you can still go off someone during the social or worst yet, during a meet.
It happens, it's nobodies fault. Human pair bonding is a tricky thing at the best of times, so just chalk it up to experience and move on. |
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I post pics of my body from every angle and my face photos on my profile. This tends to stop men messaging me if I'm not their type. Obviously I get messages from guys who find me particularly hideous and need to tell me so in enormous detail, and those guys are definitely not my type. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I post pics of my body from every angle and my face photos on my profile. This tends to stop men messaging me if I'm not their type. Obviously I get messages from guys who find me particularly hideous and need to tell me so in enormous detail, and those guys are definitely not my type. "
Telling someone there hideous in whatever detail is completely unacceptable....this is where Fab is completely fucked up!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I post pics of my body from every angle and my face photos on my profile. This tends to stop men messaging me if I'm not their type. Obviously I get messages from guys who find me particularly hideous and need to tell me so in enormous detail, and those guys are definitely not my type. "
Honey you looking fierce AF in those photos (and you have an eye for great photo composition btw). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I post pics of my body from every angle and my face photos on my profile. This tends to stop men messaging me if I'm not their type. Obviously I get messages from guys who find me particularly hideous and need to tell me so in enormous detail, and those guys are definitely not my type.
Honey you looking fierce AF in those photos (and you have an eye for great photo composition btw). "
I'd fuck her in all those angles  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Meh.
I’ve long since accepted that with a face like mine it’s going to be a majority who think that way, so I’ll focus on the minority that can tolerate it and not worry about anything out of my control |
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"I post pics of my body from every angle and my face photos on my profile. This tends to stop men messaging me if I'm not their type. Obviously I get messages from guys who find me particularly hideous and need to tell me so in enormous detail, and those guys are definitely not my type.
Telling someone there hideous in whatever detail is completely unacceptable....this is where Fab is completely fucked up!!
"
It happens. Quite a lot. Don't see why they don't just bypass and go look at women they find attractive, but nope. Fat shaming, face shaming, arse shaming, tit shaming and every other part of my body has been objected to on many occasions and all I can do is block, but unfortunately you have to read the abuse in the first instance in order to block the perpetrator. |
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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago
Derbyshire village |
"I post pics of my body from every angle and my face photos on my profile. This tends to stop men messaging me if I'm not their type. Obviously I get messages from guys who find me particularly hideous and need to tell me so in enormous detail, and those guys are definitely not my type. "
Never known why people feel the need to comment on something they don't like, what a waste of their time and of course it does rather make them twatwaffles. |
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"I post pics of my body from every angle and my face photos on my profile. This tends to stop men messaging me if I'm not their type. Obviously I get messages from guys who find me particularly hideous and need to tell me so in enormous detail, and those guys are definitely not my type.
Never known why people feel the need to comment on something they don't like, what a waste of their time and of course it does rather make them twatwaffles."
 |
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"I post pics of my body from every angle and my face photos on my profile. This tends to stop men messaging me if I'm not their type. Obviously I get messages from guys who find me particularly hideous and need to tell me so in enormous detail, and those guys are definitely not my type.
Telling someone there hideous in whatever detail is completely unacceptable....this is where Fab is completely fucked up!!
It happens. Quite a lot. Don't see why they don't just bypass and go look at women they find attractive, but nope. Fat shaming, face shaming, arse shaming, tit shaming and every other part of my body has been objected to on many occasions and all I can do is block, but unfortunately you have to read the abuse in the first instance in order to block the perpetrator. "
Sad idiots is what they are.
I’ve always thought your pics are great x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I post pics of my body from every angle and my face photos on my profile. This tends to stop men messaging me if I'm not their type. Obviously I get messages from guys who find me particularly hideous and need to tell me so in enormous detail, and those guys are definitely not my type.
Telling someone there hideous in whatever detail is completely unacceptable....this is where Fab is completely fucked up!!
It happens. Quite a lot. Don't see why they don't just bypass and go look at women they find attractive, but nope. Fat shaming, face shaming, arse shaming, tit shaming and every other part of my body has been objected to on many occasions and all I can do is block, but unfortunately you have to read the abuse in the first instance in order to block the perpetrator. "
That's really sad to read, sorry you have to deal with that kind of rubbish, do you report it and if so does anything actually happen x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I post pics of my body from every angle and my face photos on my profile. This tends to stop men messaging me if I'm not their type. Obviously I get messages from guys who find me particularly hideous and need to tell me so in enormous detail, and those guys are definitely not my type.
Telling someone there hideous in whatever detail is completely unacceptable....this is where Fab is completely fucked up!!
It happens. Quite a lot. Don't see why they don't just bypass and go look at women they find attractive, but nope. Fat shaming, face shaming, arse shaming, tit shaming and every other part of my body has been objected to on many occasions and all I can do is block, but unfortunately you have to read the abuse in the first instance in order to block the perpetrator. "
Well duck them, it's guys like them that ruin it for genuine folk. Then guys complain they get it hard on here.
You're gorgeous missus and never forget that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I post pics of my body from every angle and my face photos on my profile. This tends to stop men messaging me if I'm not their type. Obviously I get messages from guys who find me particularly hideous and need to tell me so in enormous detail, and those guys are definitely not my type.
Telling someone there hideous in whatever detail is completely unacceptable....this is where Fab is completely fucked up!!
It happens. Quite a lot. Don't see why they don't just bypass and go look at women they find attractive, but nope. Fat shaming, face shaming, arse shaming, tit shaming and every other part of my body has been objected to on many occasions and all I can do is block, but unfortunately you have to read the abuse in the first instance in order to block the perpetrator. "
Lady c,you are exquisite. |
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"I post pics of my body from every angle and my face photos on my profile. This tends to stop men messaging me if I'm not their type. Obviously I get messages from guys who find me particularly hideous and need to tell me so in enormous detail, and those guys are definitely not my type.
Telling someone there hideous in whatever detail is completely unacceptable....this is where Fab is completely fucked up!!
It happens. Quite a lot. Don't see why they don't just bypass and go look at women they find attractive, but nope. Fat shaming, face shaming, arse shaming, tit shaming and every other part of my body has been objected to on many occasions and all I can do is block, but unfortunately you have to read the abuse in the first instance in order to block the perpetrator. That's really sad to read, sorry you have to deal with that kind of rubbish, do you report it and if so does anything actually happen x "
Yes, the person is blocked from my account by fab, I get a message saying "it appears this user is no longer on this site" which I used to be really happy about, but then I found out, when I looked at them from my couples profile, the person is still on the site with no restrictions other than being visible to me. They make it look like the user has been kicked off but they haven't, I've just been blocked from seeing that they have a profile still. Oh well. |
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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago
Derbyshire village |
"I post pics of my body from every angle and my face photos on my profile. This tends to stop men messaging me if I'm not their type. Obviously I get messages from guys who find me particularly hideous and need to tell me so in enormous detail, and those guys are definitely not my type.
Never known why people feel the need to comment on something they don't like, what a waste of their time and of course it does rather make them twatwaffles.
"
A friend of mine does bodybuilding and guys fairly often message her on social media to tell her she looks like a bloke (she so does not they're just arseholes), she always asks them why they've taken time out of their day to tell her this. Funny, she never gets a reply (possibly cos she could probably tear their arms out if their sockets?)... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It dosent I understand that I am for some
And I also understand that I am not for some
It’s just one off they things your never going to be for everyone
And I am ok with that |
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