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Sister LisaB's Sunday Morning Confessions
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O Sister, forgive me and absolve me of my sins. It has been 44 years since my last confession.
I'll start with the time I went on holiday to Corfu with my girlfriend whilst pretending to my parents I was doing work experience in Oxford. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I peeeeeeed in a plastic bottle and told my friend it was lemonade put it back on a shelf in lydls..no one will notice the difference  "
 don’t fucking tempt me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sister LisaB, forgive for I have sinned.
The Cadburys selection boxes I bought in for Christmas presents have reduced in number by one, I can’t say exactly what happened suffice to say the Chomp and Freddo bars were delicious and at least I have a BOGOF entry voucher for Chessington World of Adventures for next Summer.
I don’t want mora forgiveness, Sister, but can you please ask Him if he can quickly resolve my tummy ache and nausea. Thank you  |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"O Sister, forgive me and absolve me of my sins. It has been 44 years since my last confession.
I'll start with the time I went on holiday to Corfu with my girlfriend whilst pretending to my parents I was doing work experience in Oxford."
I'm sure that you were working equally hard.
Forgiven |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Sister LisaB, forgive for I have sinned.
The Cadburys selection boxes I bought in for Christmas presents have reduced in number by one, I can’t say exactly what happened suffice to say the Chomp and Freddo bars were delicious and at least I have a BOGOF entry voucher for Chessington World of Adventures for next Summer.
I don’t want mora forgiveness, Sister, but can you please ask Him if he can quickly resolve my tummy ache and nausea. Thank you "
Let the tummy ache & nausea be your punishment.
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"I have so many sins I'd like to be forgiven for but you can't dwell on the past, let's look to the future sins 
That's not how it works."
sorry Lisa forgive me I have sinned I peed out my bedroom window |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"I have so many sins I'd like to be forgiven for but you can't dwell on the past, let's look to the future sins
That's not how it works.sorry Lisa forgive me I have sinned I peed out my bedroom window "
Forgiven, unless there was someone underneath your window. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For a joke the other day cut but of really fine hair of my hair.
Husband had his clean hipsters on the bed so put the hair in the crutch.
He rung me later that day asking if I had changed the washing powder  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Forgive me sister I lay on my sofa with a bottle of rum and called some people see you next Tuesdays last night
Did they deserve it?
If so, you are forgiven "
Of course |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Forgive me sister I lay on my sofa with a bottle of rum and called some people see you next Tuesdays last night
Ditto!!"
I thought that was just my echo I could hear |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"For a joke the other day cut but of really fine hair of my hair.
Husband had his clean hipsters on the bed so put the hair in the crutch.
He rung me later that day asking if I had changed the washing powder "
Cheeky, but not harmful.
Forgiven |
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In a burst of energy yesterday I made rocky road, fairy cakes, shortbread biscuits and pancakes, plus I put some premade pain au chocolat and passion fruit Danish pastries in the oven.
Now I'm laughing at how fat my husband's going to get.
Am I forgiven? |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"In a burst of energy yesterday I made rocky road, fairy cakes, shortbread biscuits and pancakes, plus I put some premade pain au chocolat and passion fruit Danish pastries in the oven.
Now I'm laughing at how fat my husband's going to get.
Am I forgiven? "
Did you share with any of us? No?
Then not forgiven |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Please forgive me Sister Lisa for I have sinned. I have eaten wedding cake for breakfast whilst scrolling some beautiful photos I have received. I think the photos were better than the cake  "
Both the cake and photos were reminders of happy moments.
Forgiven |
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"It's the time to unburden yourselves with the sins of the week.
I'm not interested in your sexploits, because that's above my pay grade, but your other sins.
You may even be forgiven "
I looked at your bum  |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"What are these "sins" you speak of, for I have none.
I am as pure as the driven snow, truly I am.
The emoji was created by Fab, purely because of my Purity.
Winston "
Nobody is pure.
Except for me.
Not forgiven |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"It's the time to unburden yourselves with the sins of the week.
I'm not interested in your sexploits, because that's above my pay grade, but your other sins.
You may even be forgiven I looked at your bum "
You need to stop that habit... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I seek forgiveness for I lied to my work claiming I had a hospital appointment, when it was actually a job interview.
Was offered the new job but I rejected it.
I now have another interview for Tuesday but have claimed it to be a follow up appointment at the hospital.
I need a lot of forgiveness please |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"I seek forgiveness for I lied to my work claiming I had a hospital appointment, when it was actually a job interview.
Was offered the new job but I rejected it.
I now have another interview for Tuesday but have claimed it to be a follow up appointment at the hospital.
I need a lot of forgiveness please "
Always a tricky one.
Forgiven, because you are trying to better yourself. |
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"It's the time to unburden yourselves with the sins of the week.
I'm not interested in your sexploits, because that's above my pay grade, but your other sins.
You may even be forgiven I looked at your bum
You need to stop that habit... "
do you mean lift your habit? |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Sister Lisa the immaculate
Forgive me because it's Freshers week and though I am old enough to know better I keep perving at all the cute 18yo bums.. I know it's wrong but I just can't help it"
You are the creepy old letch that sits watching them while your hands are in your trouser pockets.
Not forgiven, for marring their Fresher experience. |
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"Sister Lisa the immaculate
Forgive me because it's Freshers week and though I am old enough to know better I keep perving at all the cute 18yo bums.. I know it's wrong but I just can't help it"
sister Lisa's got a 51 year old bum ..perv at that instead |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"It's the time to unburden yourselves with the sins of the week.
I'm not interested in your sexploits, because that's above my pay grade, but your other sins.
You may even be forgiven I looked at your bum
You need to stop that habit... do you mean lift your habit? "
Five Hail Marys for such behaviour. |
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I respectfully seek forgiveness I have a work colleague who is incredibly annoying and repetitive telling each colleague the same story as they enter the office. Her computer plug socket is right by my chair so I randomly turn it on and off during the day and watch her pitch a fit about it keep shutting down it really helps my day |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Sister Lisa the immaculate
Forgive me because it's Freshers week and though I am old enough to know better I keep perving at all the cute 18yo bums.. I know it's wrong but I just can't help itsister Lisa's got a 51 year old bum ..perv at that instead "
It's not a sport, y'know!
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"
I respectfully seek forgiveness I have a work colleague who is incredibly annoying and repetitive telling each colleague the same story as they enter the office. Her computer plug socket is right by my chair so I randomly turn it on and off during the day and watch her pitch a fit about it keep shutting down it really helps my day "
Forgiven, for dealing with the office bore... |
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By *humper.Man
over a year ago
northumberland/scotland |
Someone who used to work for me spilled paint on a customers carpet. In a panick I grabbed their pug and rubbed it in the spillage and went for lunch... got away with it too.
Brought it some biscuits the next day though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I peeeeeeed in a plastic bottle and told my friend it was lemonade put it back on a shelf in lydls..no one will notice the difference "
Yeah don't do it in Sainsbury's they can taste the difference there |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Someone who used to work for me spilled paint on a customers carpet. In a panick I grabbed their pug and rubbed it in the spillage and went for lunch... got away with it too.
Brought it some biscuits the next day though "
Damage limitation, but blamed an innocent third party.
Not forgiven |
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"For a joke the other day cut but of really fine hair of my hair.
Husband had his clean hipsters on the bed so put the hair in the crutch.
He rung me later that day asking if I had changed the washing powder "
This sounds so intriguing! It's a genuine shame I just don't quite understand it. Hey let's all agree to proof-read our posts before hitting send, shall we???  |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Forgive me Sister for I have sinned
On Thursday I went into work with very tight trousers on! They could all clearly see the imprint of my bulging trousers snake & I loved it  "
If your trouser seat had split, that would have been divine justice.
Not forgiven. Oh, and here's a C&A voucher for a nice pair of polyester slacks |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Right you lot...
I'm feeling grotty, so going back to sleep.
Confession has finished for today.
Brrr.
The weight of all our sins is a heavy burden. Do please rest well, Sister of Mercy."
Thank you |
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