FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > What some married men on here are crying out for
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"Yes there are lots of married men on here that are looking for sex. Yes that true. However there is a lot of them that are crying out to be listen to and some kind of intimacy. That there are not getting at home You have to ask you self why are the wife's and other half's doing this to them Some get court out then shit hits the fan the who family upset. The man is made out to be the bad one even tho the other half of this relantionship hasnt be near the other half in years men have needs I know its not always the case But these men are being driven into anther woman's arm's Do you all think Im right? " No | |||
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"You’ve hit the nail on the head - while “cheating” is not the best course of action, we completely understand how it happens. Life is never a simple black or white, there are vast swathes of grey that people outside of the relationship will never get to experience or even see/hear about. From both of our personal experiences we never judge people’s choices because you know people in glass houses! Intimacy/affection doesn’t need to be sex, it could be as simple as sitting next to each other on the sofa or a little touch as you walk past them. Being ignored/dismissed by one’s partner is hard to deal with. Loneliness is a crushing feeling - from experience we find that people just want to be acknowledged & valued. " Absolutely spot on there. | |||
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"Yes there are lots of married men on here that are looking for sex. Yes that true. However there is a lot of them that are crying out to be listen to and some kind of intimacy. That there are not getting at home You have to ask you self why are the wife's and other half's doing this to them Some get court out then shit hits the fan the who family upset. The man is made out to be the bad one even tho the other half of this relantionship hasnt be near the other half in years men have needs I know its not always the case But these men are being driven into anther woman's arm's Do you all think Im right? " I was in an abusive marriage for years but I still never cheated. She did, many times. | |||
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"I think that perspective is a bucket of nonsense. It infantilises men (and the women who 'cheat' too btw) It is apologist theory absolving them of responsibility for THEIR choices. Every thought, word, action or deed is a PERSONAL CHOICE As far as I am aware mind control and human puppetry are things of fiction so let's not start saying a person did XYZ because blah blah blah. In full possession of the facts these men and women DECIDE with a clear mind to step outside of their relationship and it is 100% their choice and with that choice comes 100% accountability. " There are serious issues of communication problems here. Maybe she does want it but the man is a abuser who has sex his way? (An abuser will never admit they are an abuser, also they will give a sob story to the next victim) Maybe the man doesn't turn her on the way he used to. Maybe shes going through menopause. Or maybe the man has not opened his eyes to just how much she does for him and kids etc. People make that conscious choice to cheat. Think people should ask all the questions before entering a relationship that could span decades lol i would have a clipboard and questions lol | |||
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"Both parties can be guilty of cheating for a multitude of reasons. I was guilty of it. At the time I couldn’t leave because my ex wanted to split the children up. He wanted my son and for me to take my daughter. I couldn’t let that happen so had to wait until the children were old enough to be listened to if it came to that. Unfortunately I couldn’t carry on for that long and we split up prior to that. My daughter came with me and my son ended up going backwards and forwards between the two of us. Now both kids don’t like him that much, they’re a bit older and can see what I was contending with on a daily basis. I’m not saying what I did was right but I value my sanity and it was rapidly leaving me. Cheating and messaging helped. So it isn’t always the woman or man at fault and maybe they’re both to blame. It’s not always as easy as just leaving especially when children are involved. I’ve no idea what the answer is. I do think it’s more acceptable for women to cheat but that’s purely down to the numbers. On Fab the ratio of men to women is astronomical so men aren’t so critical of a lot of things women do so they can meet. I did meet married men. It worked for me, no strings. However there were a large number I wouldn’t meet regardless of connection. I found their circumstances etc distasteful. I treated each person as an individual " | |||
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"This looks like a good reason to avoid married men. We swing to have fun, not to spend all night listeneing to someone's marriage problems. If they want a shoulder to cry on there are people that have done courses and stuff for that." | |||
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"Yes there are lots of married men on here that are looking for sex. Yes that true. However there is a lot of them that are crying out to be listen to and some kind of intimacy. That there are not getting at home You have to ask you self why are the wife's and other half's doing this to them Some get court out then shit hits the fan the who family upset. The man is made out to be the bad one even tho the other half of this relantionship hasnt be near the other half in years men have needs I know its not always the case But these men are being driven into anther woman's arm's Do you all think Im right? " You're 100 % correct...and women in sexless zero affection marriages are here for exactly the same reason | |||
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"Yes there are lots of married men on here that are looking for sex. Yes that true. However there is a lot of them that are crying out to be listen to and some kind of intimacy. That there are not getting at home You have to ask you self why are the wife's and other half's doing this to them Some get court out then shit hits the fan the who family upset. The man is made out to be the bad one even tho the other half of this relantionship hasnt be near the other half in years men have needs I know its not always the case But these men are being driven into anther woman's arm's Do you all think Im right? " a few but most just want their cake and eat it themselves. Family at home loving wife, regular sex and still want more. Popcorn time | |||
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"This looks like a good reason to avoid married men. We swing to have fun, not to spend all night listeneing to someone's marriage problems. If they want a shoulder to cry on there are people that have done courses and stuff for that." I tried talking...I suggested counselling but she was too proud ..shy or embarrassed to consider it...hence the break up ... | |||
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"Not having sex with a wife is not just down to a wife Not interested. My wife over the last 20 years has slowly been getting worse with her health, mobility and having numerous hospital stays. She is in constant pain in her hips, legs and arms. I'm her full time carer and still love her but I still want a normal life but not another wife." Totally understand that, and it must be incredibly difficult. Is this something you've been able to discuss? If the roles were reversed, would you be content with her seeking sexual satisfaction else where? | |||
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"Oh cry me a river! Then they should just leave! " This | |||
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"Not having sex with a wife is not just down to a wife Not interested. My wife over the last 20 years has slowly been getting worse with her health, mobility and having numerous hospital stays. She is in constant pain in her hips, legs and arms. I'm her full time carer and still love her but I still want a normal life but not another wife." We knew a woman in your position and to an extent my father was (although he is much older than you). It's hard for everyone involved. Of course you want a normal life and you're probably grieving the loss of that. I remember my dad saying he just wanted one last summer where they could go out together for coffee. | |||
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"Yes there are lots of married men on here that are looking for sex. Yes that true. However there is a lot of them that are crying out to be listen to and some kind of intimacy. That there are not getting at home You have to ask you self why are the wife's and other half's doing this to them Some get court out then shit hits the fan the who family upset. The man is made out to be the bad one even tho the other half of this relantionship hasnt be near the other half in years men have needs I know its not always the case But these men are being driven into anther woman's arm's Do you all think Im right? " NO!!!! | |||
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"Not everyone has marriage problems, I'm happily married and we love each other very much, but medical issues have stopped us having a sex life. We are as close now as we ever were, I get to swing as a form of sexual surrogacy as long as I abide by rules. " Excellent to hear that you have a solution, and you seem like you could and would respect all those rules too. Swingers goals right there | |||
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"So! If a man cheats it's a woman's fault?" That seems the long and short of it | |||
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"I think that perspective is a bucket of nonsense. It infantilises men (and the women who 'cheat' too btw) It is apologist theory absolving them of responsibility for THEIR choices. Every thought, word, action or deed is a PERSONAL CHOICE As far as I am aware mind control and human puppetry are things of fiction so let's not start saying a person did XYZ because blah blah blah. In full possession of the facts these men and women DECIDE with a clear mind to step outside of their relationship and it is 100% their choice and with that choice comes 100% accountability. " Correct ! Apart from there being no mind control ........ c'mon course there is. | |||
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"Men have needs. Women should fuck their husbands every day and always be there to listen to them. If they don't it's their own fault that the poor man has been driven to look for sex and ears elsewhere. " I think you wrote that book in the 40's ..... or was it on another continent ? | |||
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"Just sounds to me like OP just wants to justify fucking married men! There’s also 2 sides to it and you’ve just heard one side. Plenty of people both male and female just want to have their cake and to eat it too!" I want cake ....... | |||
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"Just sounds to me like OP just wants to justify fucking married men! There’s also 2 sides to it and you’ve just heard one side. Plenty of people both male and female just want to have their cake and to eat it too! I want cake ......." Will there be tea too? Bloody love tea! | |||
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"Yes there are lots of married men on here that are looking for sex. Yes that true. However there is a lot of them that are crying out to be listen to and some kind of intimacy. That there are not getting at home You have to ask you self why are the wife's and other half's doing this to them Some get court out then shit hits the fan the who family upset. The man is made out to be the bad one even tho the other half of this relantionship hasnt be near the other half in years men have needs I know its not always the case But these men are being driven into anther woman's arm's Do you all think Im right? " There are lots of men who won't have sex with their female partners... | |||
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"Just sounds to me like OP just wants to justify fucking married men! There’s also 2 sides to it and you’ve just heard one side. Plenty of people both male and female just want to have their cake and to eat it too! I want cake ....... Will there be tea too? Bloody love tea! " Of course there'll be tea! Bring cups | |||
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"Just sounds to me like OP just wants to justify fucking married men! There’s also 2 sides to it and you’ve just heard one side. Plenty of people both male and female just want to have their cake and to eat it too! I want cake ....... Will there be tea too? Bloody love tea! Of course there'll be tea! Bring cups" Sorry no tea, only coffee, I hate tea | |||
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"So! If a man cheats it's a woman's fault? That seems the long and short of it " According to every cheating thread started by a “single” woman you’d think the opposite was true. | |||
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"Yes there are lots of married men on here that are looking for sex. Yes that true. However there is a lot of them that are crying out to be listen to and some kind of intimacy. That there are not getting at home You have to ask you self why are the wife's and other half's doing this to them Some get court out then shit hits the fan the who family upset. The man is made out to be the bad one even tho the other half of this relantionship hasnt be near the other half in years men have needs I know its not always the case But these men are being driven into anther woman's arm's Do you all think Im right? " Buddy, speak to your wife. As scary as the thought may be, it’s the only route towards a happy life for you both - with or without each other. | |||
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"Just sounds to me like OP just wants to justify fucking married men! There’s also 2 sides to it and you’ve just heard one side. Plenty of people both male and female just want to have their cake and to eat it too!" Me and the wife both have our Cake and get to eat it, I'm on here and Go to clubs, she has a loving relationship with a BF, we just want for each other to live life to the full, it's just a shame people have to cheat to be able to injoy life. | |||
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"Yes there are lots of married men on here that are looking for sex. Yes that true. However there is a lot of them that are crying out to be listen to and some kind of intimacy. That there are not getting at home You have to ask you self why are the wife's and other half's doing this to them Some get court out then shit hits the fan the who family upset. The man is made out to be the bad one even tho the other half of this relantionship hasnt be near the other half in years men have needs I know its not always the case But these men are being driven into anther woman's arm's Do you all think Im right? Buddy, speak to your wife. As scary as the thought may be, it’s the only route towards a happy life for you both - with or without each other. " Buddy is a woman. | |||
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"Yes there are lots of married men on here that are looking for sex. Yes that true. However there is a lot of them that are crying out to be listen to and some kind of intimacy. That there are not getting at home You have to ask you self why are the wife's and other half's doing this to them Some get court out then shit hits the fan the who family upset. The man is made out to be the bad one even tho the other half of this relantionship hasnt be near the other half in years men have needs I know its not always the case But these men are being driven into anther woman's arm's Do you all think Im right? " Yes. In some cases absolutely. Recognition. Acknowledgement. Intimacy. Conversation. Yes of course. There will be those judging and saying.. Just leave. That may work for some. It is rarely ever only one person's fault. | |||
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"Don’t see it matters tbh on here everyone’s pretty much looking for fun and abit of excitement but you always get some take the moral high ground" You seem to think being on here means people don’t have morals! Sorry that I think potentially destroying someone you claim to love is low! | |||
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"So! If a man cheats it's a woman's fault?" First rule of Fab, innit? If a man cheats (and there’s LOADS of men cheating on Fab) it’s clearly because he is a bad man. If a woman cheats (and there’s LOADS of women cheating on Fab), it’s clearly because her fella is a bad man. | |||
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"So! If a man cheats it's a woman's fault?" See I didn't read it like that. I read it more as sometimes women can drive their partner away. I don't think that means they are responsible for their partner cheating, it's only the cheater who can be responsible there. But I read it more in a way it isn't always just down to the man being selfish and wanting sex. I don't think OP worded it well, but I do understand where she's coming from. | |||
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"There is no excuse for cheating a couple sort it. If it can't be sorted they split its that simple. " It’s that simple folks | |||
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"Yes there are lots of married men on here that are looking for sex. Yes that true. However there is a lot of them that are crying out to be listen to and some kind of intimacy. That there are not getting at home You have to ask you self why are the wife's and other half's doing this to them Some get court out then shit hits the fan the who family upset. The man is made out to be the bad one even tho the other half of this relantionship hasnt be near the other half in years men have needs I know its not always the case But these men are being driven into anther woman's arm's Do you all think Im right? " Ohh please! Being driven into another woman's arms!! They are just scumbags!! X | |||
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"Yes there are lots of married men on here that are looking for sex. Yes that true. However there is a lot of them that are crying out to be listen to and some kind of intimacy. That there are not getting at home You have to ask you self why are the wife's and other half's doing this to them Some get court out then shit hits the fan the who family upset. The man is made out to be the bad one even tho the other half of this relantionship hasnt be near the other half in years men have needs I know its not always the case But these men are being driven into anther woman's arm's Do you all think Im right? " Absolutely 100% | |||
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"Absolutely agree in a way because, whether it be a man or a woman, cheating is only happening because they aren’t getting the intimacy or passion or desires fulfilled from their partner. Yeah they should talk about it or end the relationship but it isn’t always black and white. Both parts are to blame for the cheating it’s definitely not one sided" Totally disagree with the idea that ' cheating ONLY happens because they are not getting their yadas fullfilled' .... Cheating happens because they value sex over everything else and put themselves first. I'm not even saying they are in the wrong. I'm saying cheating happens because they decide it will. No other reason. | |||
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"Men have needs. Women should fuck their husbands every day and always be there to listen to them. If they don't it's their own fault that the poor man has been driven to look for sex and ears elsewhere. " Finally! Preach. and while we're on Don't forget the cooking and shopping. | |||
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"Have bent over backwards to give everything needed, but alas was never enough" There's a joke there but I have to be the better person always....... | |||
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"Men have needs. Women should fuck their husbands every day and always be there to listen to them. If they don't it's their own fault that the poor man has been driven to look for sex and ears elsewhere. Finally! Preach. and while we're on Don't forget the cooking and shopping. " Cleaning. | |||
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"Have bent over backwards to give everything needed, but alas was never enough There's a joke there but I have to be the better person always....... " Well done on restraining yourself Granny | |||
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"Yes there are lots of married men on here that are looking for sex. Yes that true. However there is a lot of them that are crying out to be listen to and some kind of intimacy. That there are not getting at home You have to ask you self why are the wife's and other half's doing this to them Some get court out then shit hits the fan the who family upset. The man is made out to be the bad one even tho the other half of this relantionship hasnt be near the other half in years men have needs I know its not always the case But these men are being driven into anther woman's arm's Do you all think Im right? " Wow its true isn't it! U maybe still really love and fancy the pants off ur partner but things and different pressures have come between u both. Maybe u just need to feel the touch of someone to make u feel better and desirable just for that hour or 2 before normality has to set back in | |||
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"Have bent over backwards to give everything needed, but alas was never enough There's a joke there but I have to be the better person always....... Well done on restraining yourself Granny " Fanks | |||
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"Can we dial down the hostility a little, I know passions can get the better of us but it's supposed to be a discussion not an argument. Yes there are some scumbags we know, but anyone with a genuine need to talk may be put off." Well seems some need to discuss and share and some need to insult and bully. But you make a great point. | |||
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"Can we dial down the hostility a little, I know passions can get the better of us but it's supposed to be a discussion not an argument. Yes there are some scumbags we know, but anyone with a genuine need to talk may be put off." You see hostility ? I see a discussion. | |||
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"So! If a man cheats it's a woman's fault? See I didn't read it like that. I read it more as sometimes women can drive their partner away. I don't think that means they are responsible for their partner cheating, it's only the cheater who can be responsible there. But I read it more in a way it isn't always just down to the man being selfish and wanting sex. I don't think OP worded it well, but I do understand where she's coming from. " I read it as sometimes men feel they're being driven away and instead of sitting down with their partner and having a difficult chat get behind the wheel and put their foot down hard. How are you by the way? Hope you're feeling better | |||
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"Yes there are lots of married men on here that are looking for sex. Yes that true. However there is a lot of them that are crying out to be listen to and some kind of intimacy. That there are not getting at home You have to ask you self why are the wife's and other half's doing this to them Some get court out then shit hits the fan the who family upset. The man is made out to be the bad one even tho the other half of this relantionship hasnt be near the other half in years men have needs I know its not always the case But these men are being driven into anther woman's arm's Do you all think Im right? " My ex tortured me for long time when we just had a baby . She drove me to go Tho I never cheated . I ended it first . Got out of it . then moved on . | |||
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"So! If a man cheats it's a woman's fault? See I didn't read it like that. I read it more as sometimes women can drive their partner away. I don't think that means they are responsible for their partner cheating, it's only the cheater who can be responsible there. But I read it more in a way it isn't always just down to the man being selfish and wanting sex. I don't think OP worded it well, but I do understand where she's coming from. " | |||
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"Yes there are lots of married men on here that are looking for sex. Yes that true. However there is a lot of them that are crying out to be listen to and some kind of intimacy. That there are not getting at home You have to ask you self why are the wife's and other half's doing this to them Some get court out then shit hits the fan the who family upset. The man is made out to be the bad one even tho the other half of this relantionship hasnt be near the other half in years men have needs I know its not always the case But these men are being driven into anther woman's arm's Do you all think Im right? My ex tortured me for long time when we just had a baby . She drove me to go Tho I never cheated . I ended it first . Got out of it . then moved on . " She tortured you? | |||
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"There is no excuse for cheating a couple sort it. If it can't be sorted they split its that simple. It’s that simple folks " I wish I'd known this earlier. | |||
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"Rather than pointing the finger directly at the men/man don't forget the women/woman whom are also doing this " Yeah but men drive them to it doncha know | |||
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"Yes there are lots of married men on here that are looking for sex. Yes that true. However there is a lot of them that are crying out to be listen to and some kind of intimacy. That there are not getting at home You have to ask you self why are the wife's and other half's doing this to them Some get court out then shit hits the fan the who family upset. The man is made out to be the bad one even tho the other half of this relantionship hasnt be near the other half in years men have needs I know its not always the case But these men are being driven into anther woman's arm's Do you all think Im right? My ex tortured me for long time when we just had a baby . She drove me to go Tho I never cheated . I ended it first . Got out of it . then moved on . " Very sensitive / emotional /hormonal time following a birth. | |||
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"Men have needs. Women should fuck their husbands every day and always be there to listen to them. If they don't it's their own fault that the poor man has been driven to look for sex and ears elsewhere. Finally! Preach. and while we're on Don't forget the cooking and shopping. Cleaning." Would it kill you to run a duster round your minge? | |||
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"Yes there are lots of married men on here that are looking for sex. Yes that true. However there is a lot of them that are crying out to be listen to and some kind of intimacy. That there are not getting at home You have to ask you self why are the wife's and other half's doing this to them Some get court out then shit hits the fan the who family upset. The man is made out to be the bad one even tho the other half of this relantionship hasnt be near the other half in years men have needs I know its not always the case But these men are being driven into anther woman's arm's Do you all think Im right? My ex tortured me for long time when we just had a baby . She drove me to go Tho I never cheated . I ended it first . Got out of it . then moved on . Very sensitive / emotional /hormonal time following a birth." For women too Granny | |||
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"Men have needs. Women should fuck their husbands every day and always be there to listen to them. If they don't it's their own fault that the poor man has been driven to look for sex and ears elsewhere. Finally! Preach. and while we're on Don't forget the cooking and shopping. Cleaning. Would it kill you to run a duster round your minge? " Actual lols | |||
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"There is no excuse for cheating a couple sort it. If it can't be sorted they split its that simple. " Agree, any cheat will always justify why they didn’t leave it’s an attempt to lessen their own guilty feelings. | |||
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"Yes there are lots of married men on here that are looking for sex. Yes that true. However there is a lot of them that are crying out to be listen to and some kind of intimacy. That there are not getting at home You have to ask you self why are the wife's and other half's doing this to them Some get court out then shit hits the fan the who family upset. The man is made out to be the bad one even tho the other half of this relantionship hasnt be near the other half in years men have needs I know its not always the case But these men are being driven into anther woman's arm's Do you all think Im right? My ex tortured me for long time when we just had a baby . She drove me to go Tho I never cheated . I ended it first . Got out of it . then moved on . She tortured you? " Good morning . Yeah . Emotional n financial violence . Very dark and very painful … To her as any other lady I be with I always say : - Please talk , always talk Couples who don’t talk get in very bad position If u hide n kept it can cause serious damage . And I think that’s the problem People don’t talk . When sometimes what is the head is fake . Both paranoid the other is cheating When I’m real either would never do such think Don’t talk . Goes down for nothing Drama Is all about talk . Doesn’t matter how bad it will sound | |||
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"Yes there are lots of married men on here that are looking for sex. Yes that true. However there is a lot of them that are crying out to be listen to and some kind of intimacy. That there are not getting at home You have to ask you self why are the wife's and other half's doing this to them Some get court out then shit hits the fan the who family upset. The man is made out to be the bad one even tho the other half of this relantionship hasnt be near the other half in years men have needs I know its not always the case But these men are being driven into anther woman's arm's Do you all think Im right? My ex tortured me for long time when we just had a baby . She drove me to go Tho I never cheated . I ended it first . Got out of it . then moved on . She tortured you? Good morning . Yeah . Emotional n financial violence . Very dark and very painful … To her as any other lady I be with I always say : - Please talk , always talk Couples who don’t talk get in very bad position If u hide n kept it can cause serious damage . And I think that’s the problem People don’t talk . When sometimes what is the head is fake . Both paranoid the other is cheating When I’m real either would never do such think Don’t talk . Goes down for nothing Drama Is all about talk . Doesn’t matter how bad it will sound " I'm sorry to hear that | |||
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"Every person has their own personal circumstances. judging somebody you know little or nothing about carries zero weight . The adage walk a mile in someone else's shoes does,except sometimes its not miles its year upon year and the smug response if its not right just leave is just as insensitive. Life's full of cheaters ,in jobs,in relationships,in finances... Until you know every detail, you have no right to judge or even comment upon anyone" I agree with you. Most people (of all genders) do not plan on cheating or the lying that comes with it. Most people are missing something in their relationships to make them look outside that relationship. Most do not just look for sex but to fill a void of a different nature, for example not being listened to, not getting affection etc. Just telling somebody to "get out and leave" is unhelpful and I do not ever say that these days - I simply state that I would not like to knowingly meet an attached person who operates without their partner's consent - my choice. I say so in a kindly manner because I do NOT know ALL the circumstances. | |||
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"Rather than pointing the finger directly at the men/man don't forget the women/woman whom are also doing this Yeah but men drive them to it doncha know" My answer to this some women can also do this as well, theirs good and bad in both at times sadly as it is | |||
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"Rather than pointing the finger directly at the men/man don't forget the women/woman whom are also doing this Yeah but men drive them to it doncha know My answer to this some women can also do this as well, theirs good and bad in both at times sadly as it is " I agree my comment was firmly tongue in cheek | |||
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"I think there is a difference between seeking solace from someone’s ears and seeking it in their muff" Of course there is a difference. But having listened to many couples and singles about the reasons why they ended up in that situation has changed my mind over the years and made me less judgmental of so-called cheaters. | |||
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"That of course will be true of some but not many & there's two sides to every story, why is the wife not listening, providing intimacy, is it because she's also not getting the emotional and physical support she needs from the relationship Things are very rarely as black and white or as clear cut as you've written, I bet if you spoke to their wife/ partner she'd also be telling you a very similar story It needs to be addressed between themselves or a with a third party being a counsellor not someone they've met on FAB However you decorate it that's what your describing is cheating and no good can come of that other than the few seconds of post sex euphoria " Absolutely | |||
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"I think there is a difference between seeking solace from someone’s ears and seeking it in their muff" Me too. It's much harder to get the solace out of your ears. | |||
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"I think there is a difference between seeking solace from someone’s ears and seeking it in their muff Me too. It's much harder to get the solace out of your ears. " Quote of the Year award goes to... | |||
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"100% right! I am one of those men. No matter what i do, how much i spoil her, make sure she can relax after work, its never good enough. Im told we dont have sex anymore because she loves me. When we had sex, that was lust!" Then why don’t you leave? If someone truly loves you they’d at least listen to your side of things and try to make it work. If they don’t then I think you’ve got bigger problems than sex. | |||
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"Rather than pointing the finger directly at the men/man don't forget the women/woman whom are also doing this Yeah but men drive them to it doncha know My answer to this some women can also do this as well, theirs good and bad in both at times sadly as it is I agree my comment was firmly tongue in cheek " I know it was x | |||
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"You’ve hit the nail on the head - while “cheating” is not the best course of action, we completely understand how it happens. Life is never a simple black or white, there are vast swathes of grey that people outside of the relationship will never get to experience or even see/hear about. From both of our personal experiences we never judge people’s choices because you know people in glass houses! Intimacy/affection doesn’t need to be sex, it could be as simple as sitting next to each other on the sofa or a little touch as you walk past them. Being ignored/dismissed by one’s partner is hard to deal with. Loneliness is a crushing feeling - from experience we find that people just want to be acknowledged & valued. " Yes exactly that! Acknowledged and valued | |||
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"100% right! I am one of those men. No matter what i do, how much i spoil her, make sure she can relax after work, its never good enough. Im told we dont have sex anymore because she loves me. When we had sex, that was lust!" So do the right thing, tell her you're on here or leave her. | |||
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"Why do people only feel valued if they get sex ?" Because modernity has created a series of roles and jobs that offer no value or have homogenised individuals into groups, it is hard to feel special in a world of near 8 Billion souls, to give yourself to someone or have someone give themselves to you is the only measure left of worth. (Only kidding, it’s because everyone likes a pity fuck, don’t they?) | |||
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"Why do people only feel valued if they get sex ?" It's not exactly that, sex is a biological compulsion for some, but isn't it better to do it with someone you actually like? Sex is like food, I need to eat to live but I'm not going to eat from the bin. | |||
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"I think there is a difference between seeking solace from someone’s ears and seeking it in their muff" An ear muff perhaps? Jesting badly aside. What this thread shows again is that relationships can be complicated and each has its own dynamics. Clumsy judgement and over simplification, pronouncements from strangers upon other strangers when they expend more mental energy choosing what cereal to eat does nobody any favours. Children, families, finances,housing, health and the tick tock of life all can effect any decisions they wish to make and I think a little more respect should be shown to the parties negotiating their way through these challenges. Life isn't black and white. | |||
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"Just sounds to me like OP just wants to justify fucking married men! There’s also 2 sides to it and you’ve just heard one side. Plenty of people both male and female just want to have their cake and to eat it too! I want cake ....... Will there be tea too? Bloody love tea! " Hello | |||
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"Why do people only feel valued if they get sex ?" Ask Maslow. | |||
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"Why do people only feel valued if they get sex ? It's not exactly that, sex is a biological compulsion for some, but isn't it better to do it with someone you actually like? Sex is like food, I need to eat to live but I'm not going to eat from the bin. " You don't need sex to live. It's nice but you won't die from a lack of sex. Lack of love or belonging maybe but never from lack of sex. | |||
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"I think there is a difference between seeking solace from someone’s ears and seeking it in their muff An ear muff perhaps? Jesting badly aside. What this thread shows again is that relationships can be complicated and each has its own dynamics. Clumsy judgement and over simplification, pronouncements from strangers upon other strangers when they expend more mental energy choosing what cereal to eat does nobody any favours. Children, families, finances,housing, health and the tick tock of life all can effect any decisions they wish to make and I think a little more respect should be shown to the parties negotiating their way through these challenges. Life isn't black and white. " And I believe that cheating on someone without their knowledge is both controlling and coercive behaviour, essentially, you would put your partner in a box built out of delusion whilst you do whatever you want, if people want to sleep with other people outside their relationship then they should accord their partner the same choice. Opinions eh? | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 07/10/22 11:55:36]" Maslow doesn't mention battery or WiFi either, I think it needs a refresh | |||
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"He does put sex in with intimacy but i'm sticking by what I said..... No one dies from not getting sex.... " I apologise for over simplifying, but hopefully you got the jist of what I was trying to say. | |||
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"He does put sex in with intimacy but i'm sticking by what I said..... No one dies from not getting sex.... " Don't start going on about how important it is....... I know it is ....... Someone made a shit analogy with food..... that's all. | |||
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"He does put sex in with intimacy but i'm sticking by what I said..... No one dies from not getting sex.... I apologise for over simplifying, but hopefully you got the jist of what I was trying to say." I did ...... I did ........ I knew what you were aiming at but I disagree anyhoos | |||
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"So! If a man cheats it's a woman's fault? First rule of Fab, innit? If a man cheats (and there’s LOADS of men cheating on Fab) it’s clearly because he is a bad man. If a woman cheats (and there’s LOADS of women cheating on Fab), it’s clearly because her fella is a bad man. " Bang on fella nailed it in one | |||
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"Men have needs. Women should fuck their husbands every day and always be there to listen to them. If they don't it's their own fault that the poor man has been driven to look for sex and ears elsewhere. Finally! Preach. and while we're on Don't forget the cooking and shopping. Cleaning. Would it kill you to run a duster round your minge? " Dyson minge here | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 07/10/22 11:55:36] Maslow doesn't mention battery or WiFi either, I think it needs a refresh " Fuck knows what's going to happen when the power goes out this winter! | |||
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"He does put sex in with intimacy but i'm sticking by what I said..... No one dies from not getting sex.... I apologise for over simplifying, but hopefully you got the jist of what I was trying to say. I did ...... I did ........ I knew what you were aiming at but I disagree anyhoos " That's OK, you're still cool | |||
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"Just sounds to me like OP just wants to justify fucking married men! There’s also 2 sides to it and you’ve just heard one side. Plenty of people both male and female just want to have their cake and to eat it too! I want cake ....... Will there be tea too? Bloody love tea! " used to like you, tea breath has put me off now.. | |||
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"He does put sex in with intimacy but i'm sticking by what I said..... No one dies from not getting sex.... I apologise for over simplifying, but hopefully you got the jist of what I was trying to say. I did ...... I did ........ I knew what you were aiming at but I disagree anyhoos That's OK, you're still cool" As are you - | |||
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"He does put sex in with intimacy but i'm sticking by what I said..... No one dies from not getting sex.... I apologise for over simplifying, but hopefully you got the jist of what I was trying to say. I did ...... I did ........ I knew what you were aiming at but I disagree anyhoos That's OK, you're still cool As are you - " Awwwww, shucks, you smoothy | |||
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"Oh cry me a river! Then they should just leave! " It's not quite as black and white as that. Having said that I coped for 11 years in a dead marriage and kept my cock exactly where it should be which considering my sex drive was no mean feat. My ex however did not - transpired she even tried it on with my best mate FFS I coped by focusing on my work and kids. I knew what would happen if we split up and really didn't want what has happened to happen. I was prepared to put my life on hold to try and prevent one of my kids from taking theirs - someone else didn't quite see it that way. My best mate did the opposite and pretty much fucked anything that moves and anything that didn't move he fucked it til it did then fucked it again Who is actually qualified say or judge which of us was right? There's not many people don't stand in one glass House or another | |||
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"I think there is a difference between seeking solace from someone’s ears and seeking it in their muff An ear muff perhaps? Jesting badly aside. What this thread shows again is that relationships can be complicated and each has its own dynamics. Clumsy judgement and over simplification, pronouncements from strangers upon other strangers when they expend more mental energy choosing what cereal to eat does nobody any favours. Children, families, finances,housing, health and the tick tock of life all can effect any decisions they wish to make and I think a little more respect should be shown to the parties negotiating their way through these challenges. Life isn't black and white. And I believe that cheating on someone without their knowledge is both controlling and coercive behaviour, essentially, you would put your partner in a box built out of delusion whilst you do whatever you want, if people want to sleep with other people outside their relationship then they should accord their partner the same choice. Opinions eh? " Well yes exactly... People's belief systems, culture, values, aspirations... Many things make it a good deal more complicated for some. | |||
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"Men have needs. Women should fuck their husbands every day and always be there to listen to them. If they don't it's their own fault that the poor man has been driven to look for sex and ears elsewhere. " Couldn’t agree more | |||
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"So when you have lived with someone for almost half your life and you realise that you want, and have always wanted more sexually than they do, to the point that sex becomes difficult to achieve and a bit depressing so you tend to avoid it and take yourself in hand where does that take you? A lot of men cheat because it’s just in their overly masculine nature but some men cheat because they are in complex relationships with children, mortgages, etc which (perhaps?) because they are fearful about the future or feel responsible makes them hang on in loveless relationships and seek intimacy elsewhere. I know couples who have cheated on each other (not always the men btw) who have carried on their married lives but it’s never the same and the anger and fear never goes away." That's one point of view. Would you feel the same way if your other half was insanely jealous and screwed you to the floor with her gaze if you even chatted to someone you were passing by yet she was busy banging anything and anyone that would have her? It's a very easy shoe to wear if you are the one in the controlling seat with all the excuses lined up - and that is excuses not reasons BTW.. Also I'm not judging - those are just the facts | |||
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"There is no excuse for cheating a couple sort it. If it can't be sorted they split its that simple. Agree, any cheat will always justify why they didn’t leave it’s an attempt to lessen their own guilty feelings." Spot on. | |||
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"Yes there are lots of married men on here that are looking for sex. Yes that true. However there is a lot of them that are crying out to be listen to and some kind of intimacy. That there are not getting at home You have to ask you self why are the wife's and other half's doing this to them Some get court out then shit hits the fan the who family upset. The man is made out to be the bad one even tho the other half of this relantionship hasnt be near the other half in years men have needs I know its not always the case But these men are being driven into anther woman's arm's Do you all think Im right? " Wow you just put womens lib back by about thirty years I find it hard to believe this was written by a woman… | |||
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"Lying and cheating break trust - no doubt about that and once broken, trust is very difficult to build back up. It is a bit like a beautiful ornament that has been damaged, you can glue it back together but there will always be a fine line representing the traumatic event. I am not condoning cheating and lying and I would never be with anybody who does - not because they are a terrible person with no respect etc, but because I do not want to be part in any secretive affair, so my choice without judging the person who maybe cheating/ lying. Judging is, in my view, a tad arrogant. It is a form of punishment without knowing the full reasons and the complete narrative for the deed." I actually need to correct myself. It is not arrogance and I also understand those who feel the need to judge - more often than not, a binary, black/white view of a situation and associated judging are rooted in trust issues or experiences of the person who is judging. We cannot fully escape our own experience in life when looking at somebody else's behaviour is what I was trying to say. | |||
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"Lying and cheating break trust - no doubt about that and once broken, trust is very difficult to build back up. It is a bit like a beautiful ornament that has been damaged, you can glue it back together but there will always be a fine line representing the traumatic event. I am not condoning cheating and lying and I would never be with anybody who does - not because they are a terrible person with no respect etc, but because I do not want to be part in any secretive affair, so my choice without judging the person who maybe cheating/ lying. Judging is, in my view, a tad arrogant. It is a form of punishment without knowing the full reasons and the complete narrative for the deed." Indeed that fine ornament will never be same again | |||
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"How come married men are getting all the shit? I'm pretty sure there are married women doing the same." Cheating is cheating in my opinion regardless of gender. | |||
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"Yes there are lots of married men on here that are looking for sex. Yes that true. However there is a lot of them that are crying out to be listen to and some kind of intimacy. That there are not getting at home You have to ask you self why are the wife's and other half's doing this to them Some get court out then shit hits the fan the who family upset. The man is made out to be the bad one even tho the other half of this relantionship hasnt be near the other half in years men have needs I know its not always the case But these men are being driven into anther woman's arm's Do you all think Im right? " No I think your talking rubbish | |||
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"How come married men are getting all the shit? I'm pretty sure there are married women doing the same. Cheating is cheating in my opinion regardless of gender. " Of course. | |||
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"How come married men are getting all the shit? I'm pretty sure there are married women doing the same." The op was about men I suppose but women cheat too. Usually they keep it under the radar on here because they find it easier to get meets | |||
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"If a woman cheats is it a man’s fault? " Not their fault. But in a relationship the mans behaviours contribute to whatever decision making process the woman has chosen to arrive at "cheat". It's rarely as simple as being one person's "fault". | |||
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"So! If a man cheats it's a woman's fault?" | |||
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"Fuck right off. Nobody is "driven into the arms" of anyone. Absolute pish." | |||
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"Yes there are lots of married men on here that are looking for sex. Yes that true. However there is a lot of them that are crying out to be listen to and some kind of intimacy. That there are not getting at home You have to ask you self why are the wife's and other half's doing this to them Some get court out then shit hits the fan the who family upset. The man is made out to be the bad one even tho the other half of this relantionship hasnt be near the other half in years men have needs I know its not always the case But these men are being driven into anther woman's arm's Do you all think Im right? " This is true | |||
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"Fuck right off. Nobody is "driven into the arms" of anyone. Absolute pish." At last. Some absolute sense. | |||
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"So many "shoulds" and "should nots" on here... how can we be expert about somebody else's narrative, circumstances and options. The words "should/ shouldn't" really should not be used here Joke aside, they really are unhelpful. " Why? | |||
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" I don't automatically judge somebody just because they are cheating and assume they are an arsehole however I also do not assume it is the other partner's fault." Spot on! | |||
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"So many "shoulds" and "should nots" on here... how can we be expert about somebody else's narrative, circumstances and options. The words "should/ shouldn't" really should not be used here Joke aside, they really are unhelpful. Why? " They do not help the person who is "cheating" nor the person who is at the receiving end. They imply blame and moral judgment with an assumed authority which is also not helpful. They say so much more about the person who uses them than about the person they are judging in my opinion. | |||
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"Yes there are lots of married men on here that are looking for sex. Yes that true. However there is a lot of them that are crying out to be listen to and some kind of intimacy. That there are not getting at home You have to ask you self why are the wife's and other half's doing this to them Some get court out then shit hits the fan the who family upset. The man is made out to be the bad one even tho the other half of this relantionship hasnt be near the other half in years men have needs I know its not always the case But these men are being driven into anther woman's arm's Do you all think Im right? " You have very valid point but too many aggressive people on here to consider it. | |||
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"So many "shoulds" and "should nots" on here... how can we be expert about somebody else's narrative, circumstances and options. The words "should/ shouldn't" really should not be used here Joke aside, they really are unhelpful. " | |||
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"Therapy is probably a better idea" Absolutely - but that requires the persons involved to recognise that need. | |||
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" I don't automatically judge somebody just because they are cheating and assume they are an arsehole however I also do not assume it is the other partner's fault." The latter point when used as an excuse or the reason why, more often by some men and less so than by women is awful.. | |||
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"If a man isn't getting what he needs at home then he should leave and stop cheating Or he could talk to her and they agree to be in an open relationship " Things are never that simple and black and white | |||
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