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Phrases men hate hearing from women
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Can we go clothes shopping, us tomorrow
Mr |
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"Can we go clothes shopping, us tomorrow
Mr "
throw a sickie in the morning with the MRS . XX |
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You didnt the catch that off a toilet seat!!!  |
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My mother is staying with us for a while.
The mr |
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The Mother-in-law is coming to stay. |
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"I'm going to be honest with you...".
Which basically means she's been bullshitting me all the other times. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Does my bum look big in this? |
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"Does my bum look big in this?"
Hahaha! This!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is it in yet  |
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"Looking for BBC only…"
Yeah, been gutted by this phrase once or twice while browsing...  |
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By *ornLordMan
over a year ago
Wiltshire and London |
"Looking for BBC only…"
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By *illxxMan
over a year ago
motherwell |
MR what’s wrong with you. Mrs nothing??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You need to have the sex talk hes old enough now to know the birds and bees |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
What time do you call this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think that's gonna fit |
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Only going to get afew "Bits" ....or I was thinking .... |
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No.
To be fair, I've known women who hate that too. |
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By *ak777Man
over a year ago
shaw |
your mates are all bigger than you. |
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I always get
"..you know you love me....."
Followed by a request for something that I really don't want to do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Looking for BBC only…
Yeah, been gutted by this phrase once or twice while browsing... "
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You mean they're actually listening!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Best cock ever |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wrong hole |
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Youve ruined me for other men!!! You sex god!!! Gets pretty old when you hear it day in day out!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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“I just want a nice guy” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You’re too young for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do what you want  |
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"“I’m fine”  "
Uh oh - who died?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s not you it’s me |
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"Do what you want "
Don’t!!!!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So… I was thinking….
This usually means it’s going to cost me a fortune and take up a lot of my time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do what you want
Don’t!!!!!! "
100% |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m ignoring you
…
Don’t ignore me ignoring you
Tim Turner cracked the Code |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When they moan about childbirth fuck me you would think id never had a 10lb shit before  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"When they moan about childbirth fuck me you would think id never had a 10lb shit before
I guarantee the day after a vindaloo is worse "
An hour after oats is worse, not as abd apicolax/movistar, but still a bad day for white undies. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A woman 3 years younger calling me 'daddy' during sex couldn't not have turned me off more.
Also, "can you get this and ill pay you back" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you like, it’s entirely up to you.
[the word entirely heavily emphasised] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When they moan about childbirth fuck me you would think id never had a 10lb shit before
I guarantee the day after a vindaloo is worse
An hour after oats is worse, not as abd apicolax/movistar, but still a bad day for white undies."
Oats and a strong coffee. That’s a deadly combination. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Kissing is extra |
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"A woman 3 years younger calling me 'daddy' during sex couldn't not have turned me off more.
Also, "can you get this and ill pay you back" "
A girl i saw when i was about 21 called me daddy in a baby voice and ended up sucking wet spaghetti!!! |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"When they moan about childbirth fuck me you would think id never had a 10lb shit before
I guarantee the day after a vindaloo is worse
An hour after oats is worse, not as abd apicolax/movistar, but still a bad day for white undies.
Oats and a strong coffee. That’s a deadly combination."
I can v-ouch for that.
and yet the taste of chocolate hobnobs and coffee is really nice.
Someone need to re-educate the evangelistic veganistas, that their diet is laced with foods that are dangerous for others. We non vegans should stand our ground and resist.
Can you imagine the future where the only milk available is either oat or almond? How many people would that alienate?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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and the test came back possitive ...... |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
Shh! Eastenders *is on!
* other brain dead telly programmes are available. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When they moan about childbirth fuck me you would think id never had a 10lb shit before
I guarantee the day after a vindaloo is worse
An hour after oats is worse, not as abd apicolax/movistar, but still a bad day for white undies.
Oats and a strong coffee. That’s a deadly combination.
I can v-ouch for that.
and yet the taste of chocolate hobnobs and coffee is really nice.
Someone need to re-educate the evangelistic veganistas, that their diet is laced with foods that are dangerous for others. We non vegans should stand our ground and resist.
Can you imagine the future where the only milk available is either oat or almond? How many people would that alienate?
"
The gasses alone will destroy the earth |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"When they moan about childbirth fuck me you would think id never had a 10lb shit before
I guarantee the day after a vindaloo is worse
An hour after oats is worse, not as abd apicolax/movistar, but still a bad day for white undies.
Oats and a strong coffee. That’s a deadly combination.
I can v-ouch for that.
and yet the taste of chocolate hobnobs and coffee is really nice.
Someone need to re-educate the evangelistic veganistas, that their diet is laced with foods that are dangerous for others. We non vegans should stand our ground and resist.
Can you imagine the future where the only milk available is either oat or almond? How many people would that alienate?
The gasses alone will destroy the earth "
and the toilet bowel too! |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
Giz-a-chip, when they specifically refused their own portion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Me: what do you want for tea?
Her: You decide |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't want to go to a stranger's house to fuck. Let's just go for drinks." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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‘Bet you don’t struggle?’
Actually I’m a single guy plus I’m ugly so yes I do. Very much. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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‘Why are you interested in someone my age’
Congratulations, I’m not anymore.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And finally:
‘You’re cute’
Thanks Grandma for clarifying that there’s zero sexual attraction to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not a phrase but don’t you have it when your inbox is just full of women begging for your seed
The worst |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You’re too young for me"
Oops |
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You're not my type or you're too old (frequently) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I got something you can snack/suck on |
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"Looking for BBC only…
Yeah, been gutted by this phrase once or twice while browsing... "
Just move on Dude. That's what I do when I see, athletic, slim, short women only.
I don't have the physiology to be athletic. I hate the gym. I plus-sized and solid chunky and if I put on 4 inch heels I'm 5 foot 10.
I don't mind short bald chunky small dick men. I care more about how they treat me as a person. I'm confident enough to walk down a street with a short dude. If we both hate the gym great...we can bond over our love of non-gym things. lol! Bald won't get offending if I have my head. As for the dick....certain aspects of cervix pounding hurts with half the penis outside is unappealing. |
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"You need to have the sex talk hes old enough now to know the birds and bees "
Lol! Oh no... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do |
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"I always get
"..you know you love me....."
Followed by a request for something that I really don't want to do"
If that isn't gaslighting I don't know what is.....be weary of people who make a lot of "you" statements instead of "I" statements. |
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"You're not my type or you're too old (frequently) "
What age are you going for mate? Yeah at 41 you are not too old for me BTW....you just live to dang far. |
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"You’re too young for me"
Sorry. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your sleeping in the wet spot
Coronation St, Eastenders, Emmerdale , Celebrity nob Island is on soon  |
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"“I’m fine” "
Run and make yourself scarce when you hear FINE....unless you are a trained professional. Lol!
In mental health we say F.I.N.E. stands for F'ed up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional..... Lol! when people say that in a clinical setting, I'm like oh shit it's going to be a long one.
Personally I like O.K.
Over it and Keeled over.
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""I'm going to be honest with you...".
Which basically means she's been bullshitting me all the other times."
I'm a terrible bullshitter.  |
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"It’s not you it’s me"
It's always me so I just get used to it now. I am a weirdo. |
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"So… I was thinking….
This usually means it’s going to cost me a fortune and take up a lot of my time."
Lol! is that the Mr or the Mrs.... |
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"A woman 3 years younger calling me 'daddy' during sex couldn't not have turned me off more.
Also, "can you get this and ill pay you back"
A girl i saw when i was about 21 called me daddy in a baby voice and ended up sucking wet spaghetti!!! "
Oh dear.... I do like noodles though... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"MR what’s wrong with you. Mrs nothing???"
That’s code for….you’ve severely pissed me off |
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"and the test came back possitive ......"
which test is worse?
Covid?
GUM clinic?
Pregnacny?
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"Does my bum look big in this?"
just tell her if she thinks it dose she knows.
But I tend to stick "No you just have a nice big Bum" |
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"If you like, it’s entirely up to you.
[the word entirely heavily emphasised]"
Run... |
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"Shh! Eastenders *is on!
* other brain dead telly programmes are available."
*sneaks off to watch House of the Dragon in the other room under my weighted blanket to muffle my exclamations*
Had to do this will Poldark and the ex...one of the many reasons he is the ex......And I watched Top gear happily with him!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"“I’m fine” "
That's the one right there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Please don’t worry about it darling. It happens to all men your age. We can just cuddle instead …… |
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Someone need to re-educate the evangelistic veganistas, that their diet is laced with foods that are dangerous for others. We non vegans should stand our ground and resist.
Can you imagine the future where the only milk available is either oat or almond? How many people would that alienate?
The gasses alone will destroy the earth
Lol! I'm horrified that most of the vegan/vegeterian food is not only highly processed in a non-environmentally-friendly factory but also manufactured with non-fair trade, rainforest-destroying products like palm oil and cashew nuts. Let's not forget that jackfruit doesn't grow in the UK so it racks up 1000s of air miles getting to the factory for our vegan curry.
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"Giz-a-chip, when they specifically refused their own portion."
Lol! I don't do that. I think it's slightly rude and I feel al the neurodivergent discomfort doing that to other people or people doing it to me. |
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"Me: what do you want for tea?
Her: You decide "
Lol! |
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""I don't want to go to a stranger's house to fuck. Let's just go for drinks." "
Lol! I wish I could go for drinks and a strangers house but the neurodivergent brain says Ewww....and shoots me with discomfort and awkwardness raygun!! |
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"Me: what do you want for tea?
Her: You decide
Lol!"
Ok Blowjob and Terminator Marathon… ohhhh now youve thought of something’ !!!! |
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"Not a phrase but don’t you have it when your inbox is just full of women begging for your seed
The worst "
Are you running an IVF clinic? |
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"‘Bet you don’t struggle?’
Actually I’m a single guy plus I’m ugly so yes I do. Very much. "
Everyone struggles....we just have to pick one....lol! |
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"‘Why are you interested in someone my age’
Congratulations, I’m not anymore. "
there there young fellow. *pats back* |
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"And finally:
‘You’re cute’
Thanks Grandma for clarifying that there’s zero sexual attraction to me. "
Check filters....age 36 to 56.....I'm safe. If I had kids I probably could be a grandma by now if I had my kid at 16 and they had their kids at 16. At 16 I was melting down over GCSEs so no chance. |
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"You’re too young for me
Oops "
Lol! |
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"I got something you can snack/suck on"
I'm not sure I would refuse snacks...I like snacks.... |
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"Your sleeping in the wet spot
Coronation St, Eastenders, Emmerdale , Celebrity nob Island is on soon "
I mean if it's my own wet spot.....
Ooh I quite looking at knobs...Do all the celebrities get their knobs out? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I really don’t mind honey…… |
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What are you thinking right now? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No. Stop it!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your brother was better. |
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someone has to do it.?....when you are watching something on tv...the match...and the hoover comes out...?? |
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"Can we go clothes shopping, us tomorrow
Mr throw a sickie in the morning with the MRS . XX"
Nice suggestion op I’m not man enough, dodging a shopping trip will have serious repercussions |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Looking for BBC only…"
What's wrong with that
Just joking |
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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago
Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’ |
Standing next to her (sweating & fidgeting), looking into the jewellers shop window (she), pointing at the ring & saying:
"What do you think to that one on the left
then?
Man:"¡Ay, caramba!" Followed by a thud noise as he faints.... |
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By *rlandoMan
over a year ago
Yorks/Lincs |
" YOUR THE FATHER " .......... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Her: you’ve already picture us having sex haven’t you filthy fucker
Me: my thoughts buy a oodie, 2K, FIFA or treat myself to all three
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Sorry to have to let you down, but…. |
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When she starts a sentence with 'so' or 'I want to tell or ask you something' WTF |
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“ everything I’ve ever done wrong is a mans fault, somehow “ |
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""I don't want to go to a stranger's house to fuck. Let's just go for drinks." "
To be fair this would be fun too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The grass is a bit long |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh that's small |
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Let's go to IKEA
FINE
Put the bins out
You're too old |
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By *opman121Man
over a year ago
stoke on trent |
Pick your boxer’s up , u left the seat up in the bathroom , |
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By *humper.Man
over a year ago
northumberland/scotland |
No, I won't get in your van. |
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By *KG12Couple
over a year ago
Burnley |
It's not what you said, it's how you said it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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He'll be round by 8pm, no you can't watch |
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I *DID* tell you...I'm sure I did |
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By *appytochatMan
over a year ago
Deep in the New Forest |
I've got a list of things you can do on your day off |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
I think you’re cute/funny…. But…… |
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By *appytochatMan
over a year ago
Deep in the New Forest |
Which outfit do you prefer... |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"“I’m fine”
Run and make yourself scarce when you hear FINE....unless you are a trained professional. Lol!
In mental health we say F.I.N.E. stands for F'ed up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional..... Lol! when people say that in a clinical setting, I'm like oh shit it's going to be a long one.
Personally I like O.K.
Over it and Keeled over.
"
T-shirt time! |
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No really it's OK. Go and enjoy your golf. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Looking for BBC only…"
Maybe 1tv is their favoured |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't mind, you choose."
Translation; read my mind and pick the correct option or I'll get grumpy. |
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Go do the hoovering!!
Does my bum look big in this!!! |
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Thanks but no thanks
Or your not my type |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
Oh, go on, if you want to make me... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is it in? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Her: I’m darker than you
Me: |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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White chick with fake tan: I’m darker than you
Me: Top shanter |
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By *ndiiiMan
over a year ago
Paisley Scotland |
Ive just had an idea!!!!! |
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I hate the term dear, it automatically makes me think of catfish and scammers. Just saying. |
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I don't care if its your birthday it's not going in there! |
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"I don't care if its your birthday it's not going in there! "
the bathroom...... Why had you done a number 2? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Must be vwe
Must be gym fit
Must be 6ft plus
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh.. Is that it |
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"Must be vwe
Must be gym fit
Must be 6ft plus
"
awwww |
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"Looking for BBC only…"
Can only manage LWC, sorry |
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I don’t mix business and pleasure
- but we don’t work together
Oh sorry who are you then and it’s still no ??  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not tonight I have a headache . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not tonight I have a headache . "
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"Oh.. Is that it "
they don't call me Justin for nothing ya know |
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"You never really cared about me anyway."
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
Hi, I'm Tina Titz |
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I’m not hungry I’ll just have some of yours |
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I'm skint can I borrow a tenner, I spent my child benefit on a manicure |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is it in yet |
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Does my bum look big in this… which ever answer you reply you can’t win |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The F word.
Yes, I mean the one that rhymes with clammy |
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Yours is fine The big ones hurt too much |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lets get married |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You're a really nice man and i do like you..it's not you its me,I'm just going through some things right now.... |
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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago
Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?) |
Surprise me! |
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