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Teenagers Instruction Manual
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Hi all
Just wondered if we had many parents on the forums tonight who have survived their kids teenage years???
I've decided to come and lay in the bath to escape mine as everything I say is either getting grunted at (boy,13) or huffed and stropped at (girl,16).
I swear toddlers where easier... If I drank tonight would be a double vodka night  
T xxx
Ps not a rant on Tuesday merely a plea for sympathy and sanity  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You can sign them up for the army at 15yrs and 7mnths.....Make sure they know that and you'll be fine..."
I've told mine I got him a paper-round ........... in Beirut.  |
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Thanks for all the replies and sympathy at least I'm giggling now.
Clearly I need to stay in the bath until they are both 18 .... Just think of the bath wrinkles lol or just fill out army conscription forms ASAP.
If my battery dies before I do in this bath it has been wonderful swinging with you
Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My daughter was floating about half dressed complaining the house was soooo cold.
I grabbed her threw her out the back door into the snow and locked the door.
Five minutes later I let her back in and said bet the house feels warmer now eh? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for all the replies and sympathy at least I'm giggling now.
Clearly I need to stay in the bath until they are both 18 .... Just think of the bath wrinkles lol or just fill out army conscription forms ASAP.
If my battery dies before I do in this bath it has been wonderful swinging with you
Xx"
My daughter used to hog the bathroom, then to add insult to injury take my hair-dryer, hair products and brushes and never return them to my room again.
I caught her once just as she was going out to meet friends and said get back upstairs and bring my stuff back, she stomped on every step up and down again thrust it all at me, which I caught, but I gave her one brush back again saying that's the dogs. She howled and yelled why'd you let me use that!!!!
Reply was did you ask me if you could? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Gloria I am making notes... You are my parenting mentor. One more grunt or whine and they are getting it  "
My kids still bear the scars of my mental cruelty but despite that have turned out to be respectful loving adults whom I adore.
So take heart there is an end to it ..... till the grand-kids come along. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" So take heart there is an end to it ..... till the grand-kids come along. "
We're still in the nappy phase with both our littleuns and I've already told Siren then when I change the last nappy the youngest will ever wear it will be the last time I ever change a nappy again, ever.
Grandchildren are for playing football with. Their parents are the ones who clean up their mess. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you find a manual, I think I will need it in about 5 years time.... 
xx"
Think I'll write one, there's obviously a market for it.
Just for Wishy we can call it Fifty Shades of Kaki Poopoo. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Grandchildren are for playing football with. Their parents are the ones who clean up their mess."
Grandsons are the best for kicking from the penalty spot....
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Grandchildren are for playing football with. Their parents are the ones who clean up their mess.
Grandsons are the best for kicking from the penalty spot....
"
I've swung mine around a bit but never kicked him..... |
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
teenagers
1 ignore the mess in their bedrooms,have a clear when they clear out
2 ignore the grunts
3 ignore the temper tantrums
4 ignore the bathroom hogging
5 ignore the rotten boyfriends and girlfriends
6 ignore the loud music
7 ignore them when they borrow your clothes
just remember no matter how bad it gets,they eventualy grow up to be lovely,careing,tidy,chatty young men an women
if your lucky,good luck oh an another thing ,when my eldest asked me how i always new he was lying or making excuses i told him
because everything you have done , dont forget i did it first |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you find a manual, I think I will need it in about 5 years time....
xx
Think I'll write one, there's obviously a market for it.
Just for Wishy we can call it Fifty Shades of Kaki Poopoo. "
At the moment the little one's are more of a Chicken Korma Nutella blend, and stink worse than a tramp's arse after finding another tramp's worn undies and adding to the aroma.How can someone so sweet and pure smell so disgusting. 
|
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"
because everything you have done , dont forget i did it first"
thats is so spot on..
when our now 25 yr old was about 14 i asked him if the cigarette butts at the back of the garage were from him and his mates..
he looked shocked and said yes, we tried some..
'and', i asked?
'horrible Dad, disgusting'
big inner smile..
Dad, how did you know..?
'been there son, same result'..
said to his mum later, 'i am sure they think we did'nt go through childhood and being teenagers..' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Grandchildren are for playing football with. Their parents are the ones who clean up their mess.
Grandsons are the best for kicking from the penalty spot....
I've swung mine around a bit but never kicked him....."
But have you ever had him picked up by the fuzz....??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you find a manual, I think I will need it in about 5 years time....
xx
Think I'll write one, there's obviously a market for it.
Just for Wishy we can call it Fifty Shades of Kaki Poopoo.
At the moment the little one's are more of a Chicken Korma Nutella blend, and stink worse than a tramp's arse after finding another tramp's worn undies and adding to the aroma.How can someone so sweet and pure smell so disgusting.
"
Should I be worried because I could totally envisage that ..... right down to the noxious fumes expelled? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Grandchildren are for playing football with. Their parents are the ones who clean up their mess.
Grandsons are the best for kicking from the penalty spot....
I've swung mine around a bit but never kicked him.....
But have you ever had him picked up by the fuzz....??? "
Had it happen to myself in the 70's would never inflict that on him.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Rules:-
Put anything you care about into storage. then they can't borrow it or break it.
Get some really good noise cancelling headphones.
Stock up on the Vodka (BUT lock it away!)
Add a good lock to your bedroom door.
just wait it out they do stop... sort of, mine were both about 21 when it got better. but they were raised by a single Dad, so may bee quicker if they had better parenting.
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Normal service now resumed and they both seem to be talking to me in a language I speak. So all good ... for now ... and we will tackle tomorrow's teen crisis tomorrow. It's going to be a long decade but I'm guessing I won't want to change a minute lol
Night all...
Now where is that eggy bread and convent application form |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm going through it too, drives me mad.
I have a 17 year old boy, I don't like his girlfriend, I detest his girlfriends mother as they don't have the same family ethics that we do and I'm putting my foot down constantly with all three of them.
My son drives me mad with grooming and clothes too. He's constantly straightening his hair (he's inherited the curls from me and people keep calling him Harry from One Direction and he hates it), he keeps dying it, its purple at the minute, and his clothes sense is rather individual. I don't really know where he gets all this from |
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Two of our daughters turned 'normal' pretty much the day after their 16th birthdays, the other one is hanging onto stroppy teenagerdom like her life depends on it and she goes to Uni in just over 6 months ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you find a manual, I think I will need it in about 5 years time....
xx
Think I'll write one, there's obviously a market for it.
Just for Wishy we can call it Fifty Shades of Kaki Poopoo.
At the moment the little one's are more of a Chicken Korma Nutella blend, and stink worse than a tramp's arse after finding another tramp's worn undies and adding to the aroma.How can someone so sweet and pure smell so disgusting.
Should I be worried because I could totally envisage that ..... right down to the noxious fumes expelled? "
On more than one occasion Siren has jumped in to take over as it's almost made me hurl! |
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By *nnyMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"Having now read this thread.......
Does anybody want to adopt an eight year old and a five year old? We just decided to bypass the growing up stage altogether!!!  "
How much?................. Is the dowry? |
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Erm no we spent it all on the stuff they broke, toys, clothes and shoes that they grow out of overnight, oh and food (have a feeling that one could get worse though)! Lol
Not much of an incentive there really is there lol. |
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"If you find a manual, I think I will need it in about 5 years time....
xx
Think I'll write one, there's obviously a market for it.
Just for Wishy we can call it Fifty Shades of Kaki Poopoo.
At the moment the little one's are more of a Chicken Korma Nutella blend, and stink worse than a tramp's arse after finding another tramp's worn undies and adding to the aroma.How can someone so sweet and pure smell so disgusting.
Should I be worried because I could totally envisage that ..... right down to the noxious fumes expelled?
On more than one occasion Siren has jumped in to take over as it's almost made me hurl!
"
I used to stick cotton wool up my nose...never minded the texture, just couldn't stand the smell !
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have always said kids are over rated....So as I have a two year old boy in Yorkshire and a 15 year old lad in Lancashire.Its a split decision.
Il hang out with the teenager football..playstation..football playstation..footbal playstation...lol
Jokin¡¡¡
just enjoy the journey folks
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Having now read this thread.......
Does anybody want to adopt an eight year old and a five year old? We just decided to bypass the growing up stage altogether!!!
How much?................. Is the dowry?"
Let me think on that _nny, emmmm NO, its chatacter building |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all
Just wondered if we had many parents on the forums tonight who have survived their kids teenage years???
I've decided to come and lay in the bath to escape mine as everything I say is either getting grunted at (boy,13) or huffed and stropped at (girl,16).
I swear toddlers where easier... If I drank tonight would be a double vodka night
T xxx
Ps not a rant on Tuesday merely a plea for sympathy and sanity "
Being an old sage with boys now 21 and 18, I can honestly say the only thing that helps to get over the teenage years is either:- A cricket bat... OR.... and understanding set of Grandparents willing (or naive) enough to give them a bed for a week a couple of times a year so you two can escape the country (first changing your mobile numbers so the little sh..., er, cherubs can't ruin the peace for you) a couple of times a year.
I never managed it though... 
And if you have much younger kids and are reading this, now you KNOW why you should have started a savings fund to send them to boarding school!!!!!! Oh Gawd how I wish I had....
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My son was a dream to look after, but when my first daughter came along she was the devil from hell from the time she hit 2 until now at almost 16. I thinking of setting up a dowry to get her married off lol. when i fell pregnant the 3rd time i so wanted another boy, but went and had another daughter and even with her disabilities she has her time in the teenage world. I had my children quite late in life as i was 30 when i had my son and if i could do it again i honestly think that i would have had them a lot earlier!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My daughter was floating about half dressed complaining the house was soooo cold.
I grabbed her threw her out the back door into the snow and locked the door.
Five minutes later I let her back in and said bet the house feels warmer now eh?"
soo funny, but child abuse at the same time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My daughter was floating about half dressed complaining the house was soooo cold.
I grabbed her threw her out the back door into the snow and locked the door.
Five minutes later I let her back in and said bet the house feels warmer now eh?
soo funny, but child abuse at the same time."
Love it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi all
Just wondered if we had many parents on the forums tonight who have survived their kids teenage years???
I've decided to come and lay in the bath to escape mine as everything I say is either getting grunted at (boy,13) or huffed and stropped at (girl,16).
I swear toddlers where easier... If I drank tonight would be a double vodka night
T xxx
Ps not a rant on Tuesday merely a plea for sympathy and sanity "
The thing to remember is that teenage brains work differently to adult brains, in fact its not till about early 20's that the brain is functioning in an 'adult' way.
Reasoning and decision making, things we are all good at, kids find incredibly confusing. thats why they are horrible. its not thier finished personality, but the one that represents the stage of development of the brain.
They interpret yur tone, facial expression etc differently to how an adult would, have you ever had one of them say, 'god youre so angry ' or 'chill out' when in fact, you were calm but being authoritive?
Fun being a parent isn't it!
|
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I just want to say, that my son is now 22 and sometimes he isnt in the mood for talking(think thats being a man) but he is genuinely a lovely lad, loves his job and easily makes friends. Always telling me he loves me. So it does turn out in the end. Also he never did anything that bad as a teenager apart from being a boy, didnt bring trouble to my doorstep. Kicked a hole in a wall once but he never dared do that again. You will look back in a few years and laugh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My daughter was floating about half dressed complaining the house was soooo cold.
I grabbed her threw her out the back door into the snow and locked the door.
Five minutes later I let her back in and said bet the house feels warmer now eh?
soo funny, but child abuse at the same time."
I still have the photograph I took of her with her nose pressed against the window ..... better hide it in case she reports me to child-line. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all
Just wondered if we had many parents on the forums tonight who have survived their kids teenage years???
I've decided to come and lay in the bath to escape mine as everything I say is either getting grunted at (boy,13) or huffed and stropped at (girl,16).
I swear toddlers where easier... If I drank tonight would be a double vodka night
T xxx
Ps not a rant on Tuesday merely a plea for sympathy and sanity
The thing to remember is that teenage brains work differently to adult brains, in fact its not till about early 20's that the brain is functioning in an 'adult' way.
Reasoning and decision making, things we are all good at, kids find incredibly confusing. thats why they are horrible. its not thier finished personality, but the one that represents the stage of development of the brain.
They interpret yur tone, facial expression etc differently to how an adult would, have you ever had one of them say, 'god youre so angry ' or 'chill out' when in fact, you were calm but being authoritive?
Fun being a parent isn't it!
"
spot on this, just deep breaths and remind yourself they are aliens!
Im down to my last teen who thankfully is a geek and easier than my other 2 , girl a drama queen who changed her sexuality and name every week and would get cross with me cos i wasnt cross! And a boy who would stand up to other peoples bullies so constant fighting and would eat everything nice in the cupboard and left school a week before the exams.
MY survival tips:
A lock on your bedroom door so you can keep your nice things.
Always ask them how they are and how their day was, even when you know you'll only get a grunt in reply, eventually they respond.
Tell them you love them often (if only to remind yourself!)
Slowly replace all your shopping with the cheapest value products, eventually they get fed up with it and move out! xxxx |
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By *irtydanMan
over a year ago
Blackpool |
"Hi all
Just wondered if we had many parents on the forums tonight who have survived their kids teenage years???
I've decided to come and lay in the bath to escape mine as everything I say is either getting grunted at (boy,13) or huffed and stropped at (girl,16).
I swear toddlers where easier... If I drank tonight would be a double vodka night
T xxx
Ps not a rant on Tuesday merely a plea for sympathy and sanity
The thing to remember is that teenage brains work differently to adult brains, in fact its not till about early 20's that the brain is functioning in an 'adult' way.
Reasoning and decision making, things we are all good at, kids find incredibly confusing. thats why they are horrible. its not thier finished personality, but the one that represents the stage of development of the brain.
They interpret yur tone, facial expression etc differently to how an adult would, have you ever had one of them say, 'god youre so angry ' or 'chill out' when in fact, you were calm but being authoritive?
Fun being a parent isn't it!
spot on this, just deep breaths and remind yourself they are aliens!
Im down to my last teen who thankfully is a geek and easier than my other 2 , girl a drama queen who changed her sexuality and name every week and would get cross with me cos i wasnt cross! And a boy who would stand up to other peoples bullies so constant fighting and would eat everything nice in the cupboard and left school a week before the exams.
MY survival tips:
A lock on your bedroom door so you can keep your nice things.
Always ask them how they are and how their day was, even when you know you'll only get a grunt in reply, eventually they respond.
Tell them you love them often (if only to remind yourself!)
Slowly replace all your shopping with the cheapest value products, eventually they get fed up with it and move out! xxxx"
good advise ive twin girls 17 god there moaning cows  |
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