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Rude alternative to nursery rhymes
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hope this isn't too offensive, and I apologise in advance.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy,
But Jack got a shock,
And a mouthful of cock,
Because Jill's real name was Randy |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I hope this isn't too offensive, and I apologise in advance.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy,
But Jack got a shock,
And a mouthful of cock,
Because Jill's real name was Randy"
Brilliant
This is so funny
Favourite so far  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mary had a mini skirt
With splits right up the sides
And every time that Mary walked
The boys could see her thighs
Mary had another skirt
With a split right up the Front
But Mary never wore that much  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me a lovely blow job very slowly…
A Deep fuck throat ,
1 finger in her bum , then I stick both ,
a 69 , a a horny ride , pussy and bum From behind ,
grabbed hard her tits , gave her many licks
and she nearly manage to brake my hard . |
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"On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me a lovely blow job very slowly…
A Deep fuck throat ,
1 finger in her bum , then I stick both ,
a 69 , a a horny ride , pussy and bum From behind ,
grabbed hard her tits , gave her many licks
and she nearly manage to brake my hard . "
What did she do on the second day?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me a lovely blow job very slowly…
A Deep fuck throat ,
1 finger in her bum , then I stick both ,
a 69 , a a horny ride , pussy and bum From behind ,
grabbed hard her tits , gave her many licks
and she nearly manage to brake my hard .
What did she do on the second day? "
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me a FFM with a girl name Julie .
She was a whore , I would tell u more
is endless I better stop here . |
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By *trideMan
over a year ago
Plymouth |
Mary had a little watch.
She swallowed it on day.
She took lots of Beecham’s pills to pass the time away.
The Beecham’s pills, they did not work.
The watch it did not pass.
So if you want to know the time
Look up at the clock tower.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On the 3rd day of Christmas my true love gave to me a FFFM one more who joined us n Julie .
1 thick hard , 2 horny balls , 3 little mouths , we are 4 hoes , 5 little finger , in all their 6 hands ,
7 am again , this never ends . I 8 to say , 9 times I came . Maybe was 10 .
The times I cum on each of the three there with me . |
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Mary had a little lamb
She also had a bear
I often saw her little lamb
But I never saw her bare
———
Mary had a little lamb
She also had a duck
She set them on the mantlepiece
To see if they would “fall off” |
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Apologies in advance for this one
Scroll down if you are likely to be grossed out!
Sing a song of siphilis,
A fanny full of crabs,
4 and 20 ulcers,
Covered in scabs,
When the scabs were opened,
The cunt began to sing,
Isn't this a dirty place to put your penis in? |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"Apologies in advance for this one
Scroll down if you are likely to be grossed out!
Sing a song of siphilis,
A fanny full of crabs,
4 and 20 ulcers,
Covered in scabs,
When the scabs were opened,
The cunt began to sing,
Isn't this a dirty place to put your penis in?"
 |
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By *weedeldumbCouple (MM)
over a year ago
Leeds & Harrogate |
The Grand Old Duke of York
He had ten thousand men
He also has some little girls
But "One can't remember them!"
.
He told the BBC that
"One no longer sweats"
But his late mum gave 12 million quid
To a girl he'd never met. |
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By *entonMan
over a year ago
Wakefield |
Mary had a little lamb,
its fleece was black as charcoal;
Every time she stroked it's fleece,
Sparks flew out its arsehole.
Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
Jeremy Clarkson had a farm
“No! No! Please don’t! No!!!”
And on his farm he had some plans
This will not end well
With a “Fuck! Fuck!” here
And a “Fuck! Fuck!” there
Here a “Fuck!”, there a “Fuck!”
Everywhere a “Fuck-a-duck!”
Jeremy Clarkson had a farm
On his Amazon show
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