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If your underwear had an alarm

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By *odgerMoore OP Man over a year ago

Carlisle

That went off when you got aroused …. What would the announcement be??

Mine would be ‘warning unexploded spunk grenade the teabagging area! Clear the area!’

And go……

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By *hantasmagoriaWoman over a year ago

Newport

You've shat your pants Mrs!!!

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By *odgerMoore OP Man over a year ago

Carlisle

"You've shat your pants Mrs!!!

I hope it texts that announcement as opposed to over the tannoy

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By *s2pervsCouple over a year ago

Truro

IIIINNNCOMIIIINNNG!

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By *hunky GentMan over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Wide load"

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

Standby for Action

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Get the mop too hand

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By *odgerMoore OP Man over a year ago

Carlisle

What a damaged bunch you are - we could be friends in real life - thats how bad you are

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By *idlandiaMan over a year ago

Birmingham

"Danger Will Robinso....

Actually, no, not that one.

Let me have a think.

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By *hunky GentMan over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Get the mop too hand

I've even got marigolds

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By *eneralKenobiMan over a year ago

North Angus

Boingggggg, like the springy doors stops

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By *urreyloverMan over a year ago

Guildford

Would you like a hand with that?

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By *oo..Woman over a year ago

Boo's World

It would forever be saying:

"Beep,Beep... lady is reversing Beep,Beep"

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By *ixieAndHerKingCouple over a year ago

Debauchery

'WARNING...THIS GIRL IS COCK READY. PREPARE FOR ACTION'

Yep. That's what my knickers alarm would say

Cherry x

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By *odgerMoore OP Man over a year ago

Carlisle

"It would forever be saying:

"Beep,Beep... lady is reversing Beep,Beep"

"
if i was behind you - you saucy minx!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Spillage on Aisle-give-'er-1"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Or the intro to Pony

Gotta be obvious to get what you need sometimes

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS over a year ago

Bristol

Captain Penis, at your service.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

G major. Needs tuning.

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By *affeine DuskMan over a year ago

Caerphilly

"Captain Penis, at your service. "

This is my ringtone.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is just a test, no actions required

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’d need to check that the battery is still working …

it’s been a while

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By *ixieAndHerKingCouple over a year ago

Debauchery

"I’d need to check that the battery is still working …

it’s been a while "

Yours would say 'FALSE ALARM! WHIPPED CREAM DRIBBLE ALERT. I REPEAT WHIPPED CREAM DRIBBLE ALERT..'

Cherry x

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By *rispyDuckMan over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

'Warning choking hazard'

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By *odgerMoore OP Man over a year ago

Carlisle

"Captain Penis, at your service. "
Promote him to major and insist all the women polish your pips

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