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Weirdest thing
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Sooo let's have a giggle. What's the weirdest/funniest thing that has been done during sex. I've had blokes cum before they have touched me and asked if it was good for me?!? |
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By *ttmcdguyTV/TS
over a year ago
Milton Keynes |
Met a guy few years back we went upstairs to my room I sat on the edge of my bed I started to remove his trousers and boxers he then promptly shot his coco over my foot leg and carpet
I honestly never touched him !!
Wouldn’t of minded so much if we had played for a short while before he ruined my brand new hold ups stained my black suede heels and my carpet    |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not sure if funny but put my back out as she gave me a bj while tied to the bed . She thought my moans and sounds of agony were me enjoying it so just kept sucking and smiling until I blew . Managed then to shout out my backs gone so was released and given painkillers . I do laugh about it now though |
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A few years ago my fwb was under me rimming my ass when I had an impromptu hiccup and then farted on her tongue. Tried to carry on as if nothing happened but then couldn’t stop laughing. Luckily she saw the funny side of it  |
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"A few years ago my fwb was under me rimming my ass when I had an impromptu hiccup and then farted on her tongue. Tried to carry on as if nothing happened but then couldn’t stop laughing. Luckily she saw the funny side of it "
This one is my fave  |
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"A few years ago my fwb was under me rimming my ass when I had an impromptu hiccup and then farted on her tongue. Tried to carry on as if nothing happened but then couldn’t stop laughing. Luckily she saw the funny side of it
This one is my fave "
Took a while to get our composure back I’ll tell you and she avoided my ass for a while  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Funniest was my ex slipping off the bed cos he thought it would be nice to buy silk sheets.
Weirdest was the guy who pretend to be a tiger pouncing on me, claws, roars and all. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Met a guy few years back we went upstairs to my room I sat on the edge of my bed I started to remove his trousers and boxers he then promptly shot his coco over my foot leg and carpet
I honestly never touched him !!
Wouldn’t of minded so much if we had played for a short while before he ruined my brand new hold ups stained my black suede heels and my carpet "
I hope he had the decency to look embarrassed |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not sure if funny but put my back out as she gave me a bj while tied to the bed . She thought my moans and sounds of agony were me enjoying it so just kept sucking and smiling until I blew . Managed then to shout out my backs gone so was released and given painkillers . I do laugh about it now though "
Hahahhaha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A few years ago my fwb was under me rimming my ass when I had an impromptu hiccup and then farted on her tongue. Tried to carry on as if nothing happened but then couldn’t stop laughing. Luckily she saw the funny side of it "
I'd of barfed |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Funniest was my ex slipping off the bed cos he thought it would be nice to buy silk sheets.
Weirdest was the guy who pretend to be a tiger pouncing on me, claws, roars and all. "
I'd have laughed my head off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A few years ago my fwb was under me rimming my ass when I had an impromptu hiccup and then farted on her tongue. Tried to carry on as if nothing happened but then couldn’t stop laughing. Luckily she saw the funny side of it "
what about the smell didn't she smell it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sooo let's have a giggle. What's the weirdest/funniest thing that has been done during sex. I've had blokes cum before they have touched me and asked if it was good for me?!?"
Weird |
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"A few years ago my fwb was under me rimming my ass when I had an impromptu hiccup and then farted on her tongue. Tried to carry on as if nothing happened but then couldn’t stop laughing. Luckily she saw the funny side of it
I'd of barfed"
She actually said it was just air and not a stinker lol |
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"A few years ago my fwb was under me rimming my ass when I had an impromptu hiccup and then farted on her tongue. Tried to carry on as if nothing happened but then couldn’t stop laughing. Luckily she saw the funny side of it what about the smell didn't she smell it"
She said it was just air and not a stinker thank god |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A few years ago my fwb was under me rimming my ass when I had an impromptu hiccup and then farted on her tongue. Tried to carry on as if nothing happened but then couldn’t stop laughing. Luckily she saw the funny side of it what about the smell didn't she smell it"
Hopefully she didn't chew on it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sooo let's have a giggle. What's the weirdest/funniest thing that has been done during sex. I've had blokes cum before they have touched me and asked if it was good for me?!?"
Think in 2000 in my home town carnival in Portugal, when my “ mother in law “ opened her daughter’s bedroom to me dressed as a Pink Clown Bailarina pounding her hard first thing in the morning … was probably one of the most peculiar ones ….
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was at a club and a bloke had stuck an apple up a woman's arse and made her push it out he then asked me if I wanted a bite which I obviously declined as I was going to McDonald's after |
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By *hef HMan
over a year ago
Birmingham |
A couple of years ago i met a girl in Wolverhampton on this site
So I go back to hers doing what you do around
Mins in she starts to whistle then says sit
Me being dopey I was oblivious until I turned around and saw two Staffies watching
I asked her why she said she wants her dogs to see
I’m like nah bollox to that I left Half way through
Never again |
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"Sooo let's have a giggle. What's the weirdest/funniest thing that has been done during sex. I've had blokes cum before they have touched me and asked if it was good for me?!?"
I mean, I guess if you were after an early night, it's a win-win! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Did she said “ funny “ in a sarcastic way ?
As : thanks a lot ?
I don’t get it . I’m feeling sick
Early night time story 100%
I need sleep . Good night . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Me and old FWB wanted to change things up. I'm up for anything once. She strapped me down to the bed, bum in the air and inserted a butt plug in me. First time anything has ever gone up there. Immediately made me feel like I had an uncontrollable urge to use the loo. So I'm wringling all over the place, trying to get out of my restraints before running to the loo just to take the thing out haha. Both had a bit of a laugh out of it, still up for trying butt stuff though haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A long time back with an ex a mate of mine dared me to shout “freedom” as I finished so one night after we’d been drinking me and my ex slipped off to my room. According to my friend who was downstairs at the time all he heard was moans, a loud cry of “freeeedoooom” (in my best Scots accent) followed by a large slap from my ex, needless to say my friend was in stitches downstairs when I went back down for a drink |
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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago
milton keynes |
"Sooo let's have a giggle. What's the weirdest/funniest thing that has been done during sex. I've had blokes cum before they have touched me and asked if it was good for me?!?"
That's not weird that's embarrassing |
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Met a MF couple, at their place and as the evening progresses and things begin to get horny they lady goes up stairs and myself and the gentleman join her, she passes the handcuffs and her fella proceeds to cuff her to the bed, following her requests we then start to have fun together, after a while she asks to be released, lo and behold they gentleman can't find the key, turns out one set of the cuffs doesn't have a safety release.. !! The lady in question wasn't very happy and really was giving her fella a hell of a hard time whilst he's running round in a blind panic naked, after what seemed like ages but in reality was probably only a few minutes I managed to release the offending cuffs at which point she ended up chasing him round the house both naked, he's fleeing for his life and she (understandably) is trying to knock his head off, thankfully they calmed down and we had a good laugh about it, her final comment before I left was, "next time that fuckers' getting cuffed!"
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Me and the MR had a child free night so naturally we had to have some fun time, we had both been up since 4am so were knackered. Anyway during foreplay i decided to talk dirty but the words in my head came out of my mouth completely different, i said "i want your big kitchen with lots of people" then called him my rocking horse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sooo let's have a giggle. What's the weirdest/funniest thing that has been done during sex. I've had blokes cum before they have touched me and asked if it was good for me?!?"
It ain’t much love but at least it was honest work x |
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There was someone I really fancied, but thought was way out of my league, didn't really know her (friend of a friend), and also came from a super-strict Christian family and never even kissed boys.
One night, at a party at our mutual friend's house, I deliberately got incredibly d*unk. I've forgotten why. I woke up around 5am in her flower bed.
Next day, when I said how d*unk I'd been to my friend, she said,rather coldly, "Not too d*unk for SOME things". I found out later at College that gorgeous super-strict Christian gurl had given me a blowjob, in the flowerbed, in public.
I kept being slapped on the back by cool guys and seemed to have promoted myself to Mr Stud, for at least a week or so. But the problem was, what should have been one of the hottest experiences of my young life was a complete blank. No memory whatsoever. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had I guy pick up the phone and have a phone call with his wife mid way though
Let’s just say when he hung up he got kicked out the bed and set packing
Should have let out loud moans as he was bang away on me tell his wife he loved her
Shour she would have been happy to here what he was really doing
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had someone cum a soon as his trousers and pants were off. It went all over my top. He got dressed, left mine and left the site a soon as he got home.
Was it his first time "
To sex with someone he wasn't in a relationship with, yes. Told him it didn't bother me, but it did him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Met a guy few years back we went upstairs to my room I sat on the edge of my bed I started to remove his trousers and boxers he then promptly shot his coco over my foot leg and carpet
I honestly never touched him !!
Wouldn’t of minded so much if we had played for a short while before he ruined my brand new hold ups stained my black suede heels and my carpet "
Similar... I had an admirer who arranged to get a train from London to Cardiff to meet; where he hired a hotel room (The Angel for those who know Cardiff), and fair dos, he showed up. Gave me his key and went away for a while for me to do my makeup, before coming up.
I touched him and he exploded! I cleaned him up and tried to get him hard enough to fuck me, but not a chance.
God knows how much it cost him! |
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Gave a bloke a blow job in a flower bed .he was so pissed surprised he got hard . One of his friends said if he found out a bloke had given him a blow job it would mentally destroy him so we agreed to say it was a bible bashing female as that was his fantasy . Don't know what they actually said |
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"Gave a bloke a blow job in a flower bed .he was so pissed surprised he got hard . One of his friends said if he found out a bloke had given him a blow job it would mentally destroy him so we agreed to say it was a bible bashing female as that was his fantasy . Don't know what they actually said"
She told me herself, years later, but trust me, before that your scenario was one that ran through my head! |
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"Gave a bloke a blow job in a flower bed .he was so pissed surprised he got hard . One of his friends said if he found out a bloke had given him a blow job it would mentally destroy him so we agreed to say it was a bible bashing female as that was his fantasy . Don't know what they actually said
She told me herself, years later, but trust me, before that your scenario was one that ran through my head!"
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Rubber sheets, lots of baby oil, I was pegging him when I thrust too hard, he slid off bed, landing on his head, kicking me in the mouth in the process. Queue copious amounts of blood added to mix.
Next few hours spent in sofa, with ice packs, feeling sorry for ourselves.
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Met a woman off here. Went back to hers. Lying in bed, start to play & she goes off to another room, comes back with her 2 guinea pigs. Puts one on my chest & does formal introductions.
I'll be honest...a bit of a mood killer! |
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