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Can you do it tactfully?
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Do you say things tactfully or at least try to?
Are you regularly told you need a filter or lack tact?
Is there a point you think, do you know what, enough is enough, I’m going to say it as it is?
I’m quite well known for saying it how it is, however I do know when to reel it in, mostly 
Tact and diplomacy is definitely something I’ve developed with age.
There isn’t one thing that can make me think enough is enough but when it happens get out of my way  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can be very blunt. If I know it’s a sensitive subject I can tone it down and be mindful of peoples feelings but I am a straight to the point kind of person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can be the very soul of diplomacy and tact but if dealing with an arsehole then they’re going to know they’re an arsehole. "
I subscribe to this philosophy…. |
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"I can be the very soul of diplomacy and tact but if dealing with an arsehole then they’re going to know they’re an arsehole. "
The surprising thing about arseholes is they have no idea they’re an arsehole |
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By *humper.Man
over a year ago
northumberland/scotland |
Being ND I'm often unsure about the "correct" thing to do or say. Sometimes I'll try to do or say things in an effort to seem "normal" other times I can be blunt or odd to thr point it comes across rude. But it's rarely my intention. Deep down, we all just wanna be accepted for who we are, right? |
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"I can be very blunt. If I know it’s a sensitive subject I can tone it down and be mindful of peoples feelings but I am a straight to the point kind of person."
Blunt but sensitive to others, that’s a good way to be x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being ND I'm often unsure about the "correct" thing to do or say. Sometimes I'll try to do or say things in an effort to seem "normal" other times I can be blunt or odd to thr point it comes across rude. But it's rarely my intention. Deep down, we all just wanna be accepted for who we are, right? "
Forgive me for asking but what is ND? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some of my friends call me sledgehammer
I'll let you decide.
You look like Peter Gabriel?
Maybe his fatter younger brother. "
But can you sing like him? |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"Some of my friends call me sledgehammer
I'll let you decide.
You look like Peter Gabriel?
Maybe his fatter younger brother.
But can you sing like him?"
If you stand far enough away and you wear ear defenders then........ no.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some of my friends call me sledgehammer
I'll let you decide.
You look like Peter Gabriel?
Maybe his fatter younger brother.
But can you sing like him?"
I just say it as it is me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am just bubbly me I say what’s on my mind
What’s on your mind? x"
Nothing at the moment I just mean that I speak my mind I don’t tip toe around thinking |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well i always think that i am very soft in my delivery, but feedback from friends +family is that i have the delivery of a brick through a window 
So I'm sorry if it comes across bluntly  |
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By *humper.Man
over a year ago
northumberland/scotland |
"Being ND I'm often unsure about the "correct" thing to do or say. Sometimes I'll try to do or say things in an effort to seem "normal" other times I can be blunt or odd to thr point it comes across rude. But it's rarely my intention. Deep down, we all just wanna be accepted for who we are, right?
Forgive me for asking but what is ND?"
Neuro diverse... no need to apologise |
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"Being ND I'm often unsure about the "correct" thing to do or say. Sometimes I'll try to do or say things in an effort to seem "normal" other times I can be blunt or odd to thr point it comes across rude. But it's rarely my intention. Deep down, we all just wanna be accepted for who we are, right? "
Yes but the pressure to conform to societal norms is almost unbearable for some. Especially with the added difficulty of not necessarily having the tools in your kit to do it. The lack of acceptance in society makes things increasingly difficult.
Just be you x |
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"Well i always think that i am very soft in my delivery, but feedback from friends +family is that i have the delivery of a brick through a window
So I'm sorry if it comes across bluntly "
Do you feel you need to apologise for it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some of my friends call me sledgehammer
I'll let you decide.
You look like Peter Gabriel?
Maybe his fatter younger brother.
But can you sing like him?
I just say it as it is me"
Yes you do not have tact. |
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I'm very direct but tactful with it...unless someone is being a complete arsebiscuit, then I'll skip the tactful part.
I don't understand why some people are "tactful" to the point of what they say being wishy-washy and something that can be construed in more than one way, to me that seems a bit duplicitous and designed to mislead rather than save feelings. It's not hard to be straightforward without being intentionally offensive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd say I'm a very tactful person in most situations where it is required. But on the other hand, I am more than happy to say something in a direct and blunt way when it needs to be done. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am just bubbly me I say what’s on my mind
What’s on your mind? x
Nothing at the moment I just mean that I speak my mind I don’t tip toe around thinking
Do you feel any pressure to tip toe?"
None at all ha ha xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well i always think that i am very soft in my delivery, but feedback from friends +family is that i have the delivery of a brick through a window
So I'm sorry if it comes across bluntly
Do you feel you need to apologise for it?"
I'm acutely aware of it, so i tiptoe using fluffy, teddy bear language around them and withold any personal opinions that they might find challenging (like the Daily Mail is vile +spreads hate +lies  )
I think they want me to conform to their standard (be married /have 2 kids/have normal coloured hair)  |
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"I can be, and generally I am tactful and diplomatic but that doesn’t mean I don’t have that little voice inside me shouting out what I want to say "
You are too diplomatic and accommodating at times, my lovely friend  |
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"I'm very direct but tactful with it...unless someone is being a complete arsebiscuit, then I'll skip the tactful part.
I don't understand why some people are "tactful" to the point of what they say being wishy-washy and something that can be construed in more than one way, to me that seems a bit duplicitous and designed to mislead rather than save feelings. It's not hard to be straightforward without being intentionally offensive. "
Wishy washy really grinds my piss - I feel like saying grow a pair |
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"I'd say I'm a very tactful person in most situations where it is required. But on the other hand, I am more than happy to say something in a direct and blunt way when it needs to be done."
You sound like you should be a diplomat |
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"I am just bubbly me I say what’s on my mind
What’s on your mind? x
Nothing at the moment I just mean that I speak my mind I don’t tip toe around thinking
Do you feel any pressure to tip toe?
None at all ha ha xx"
Good for you x |
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"Well i always think that i am very soft in my delivery, but feedback from friends +family is that i have the delivery of a brick through a window
So I'm sorry if it comes across bluntly
Do you feel you need to apologise for it?
I'm acutely aware of it, so i tiptoe using fluffy, teddy bear language around them and withold any personal opinions that they might find challenging (like the Daily Mail is vile +spreads hate +lies )
I think they want me to conform to their standard (be married /have 2 kids/have normal coloured hair) "
Yeah that would grind my piss and I’d probably bite my tongue off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My experience is that people who take pride in being blunt and direct react very badly when others are direct with them. My definition of tact is simply consideration. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve been called savage more than once on here so who knows.
I’m generally tactful but I also have no filter! I sometimes offend when I don’t mean to, thanks to my neurodivergent brain |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How I avoid telling people straight up, they’re a f’kin idiot on a daily basis is beyond me?
So yes, I can be tactful.
I’m not quite sure that passes as tactful  "
Haha. In answer to your question, sometimes. If I like them, if I don’t, I’m pretty straight as an arrow. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I say too much sometimes which usually gets me in peoples bad book.
Deciding to change that and won't say a word 
Just be who you are.
So people love you for it.  "
Again thank you. Oh the blue is back xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm more tactful than my sister as she has no filter. Which is now why I have finally put her on the naughty step. It's bloody awful but necessary to back away from family who are just toxic. I'm glad I've taken a stand x |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"I say too much sometimes which usually gets me in peoples bad book.
Deciding to change that and won't say a word
Just be who you are.
So people love you for it.
Again thank you. Oh the blue is back xx"
Phwaor. Xxxxxxx |
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There are times when tact and diplomacy are needed but there's no.point in pretending to.be who you aren't. People always find out in the end so it's just a waste of time.
P'S.
Why do people ask questions if they don't want the answers ? |
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"My experience is that people who take pride in being blunt and direct react very badly when others are direct with them. My definition of tact is simply consideration."
I think most people respond badly to bluntness generally |
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"I’ve been called savage more than once on here so who knows.
I’m generally tactful but I also have no filter! I sometimes offend when I don’t mean to, thanks to my neurodivergent brain "
Some people need offending ND brain or not x |
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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago
Newry Down |
Sometimes you have to tell the unvarnished truth, to get the pain over as quickly as possible.
The powerful people in society do not have to be civil; but they expect others, lower down the pecking order, to be nice to each other! |
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"How I avoid telling people straight up, they’re a f’kin idiot on a daily basis is beyond me?
So yes, I can be tactful.
I’m not quite sure that passes as tactful
Haha. In answer to your question, sometimes. If I like them, if I don’t, I’m pretty straight as an arrow. "
Put that bow down |
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"I try to be tactful, but sometimes if someone is intent on meeting you and you aren't bothered, you have to give a plain no when they don't get the hints  "
There is someone on this thread that needs to take a leaf out of your book |
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"I'm more tactful than my sister as she has no filter. Which is now why I have finally put her on the naughty step. It's bloody awful but necessary to back away from family who are just toxic. I'm glad I've taken a stand x"
Toxic people are really abhorrent and should be put permanently in room 101 |
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"There are times when tact and diplomacy are needed but there's no.point in pretending to.be who you aren't. People always find out in the end so it's just a waste of time.
P'S.
Why do people ask questions if they don't want the answers ?"
I see you’ve decided no tact and diplomacy is required here. You’re right though, bat shit crazy soon shows itself
PS Real life gets in the way |
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"Sometimes you have to tell the unvarnished truth, to get the pain over as quickly as possible.
The powerful people in society do not have to be civil; but they expect others, lower down the pecking order, to be nice to each other!"
Very powerful |
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By *an4funMan
over a year ago
london |
"I can be the very soul of diplomacy and tact but if dealing with an arsehole then they’re going to know they’re an arsehole.
The surprising thing about arseholes is they have no idea they’re an arsehole "
And sometimes they're not an arsehole and therefore correct in the assumption that they aren't. Sometimes it's the person calling them an arsehole who is actually the arsehole. |
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"I can be the very soul of diplomacy and tact but if dealing with an arsehole then they’re going to know they’re an arsehole.
The surprising thing about arseholes is they have no idea they’re an arsehole
And sometimes they're not an arsehole and therefore correct in the assumption that they aren't. Sometimes it's the person calling them an arsehole who is actually the arsehole."
Yep. The stories we tell ourselves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well i always think that i am very soft in my delivery, but feedback from friends +family is that i have the delivery of a brick through a window
So I'm sorry if it comes across bluntly
Do you feel you need to apologise for it?
I'm acutely aware of it, so i tiptoe using fluffy, teddy bear language around them and withold any personal opinions that they might find challenging (like the Daily Mail is vile +spreads hate +lies )
I think they want me to conform to their standard (be married /have 2 kids/have normal coloured hair)
Yeah that would grind my piss and I’d probably bite my tongue off "
In fairness i am very conflict averse - a result of my childhood! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well i always think that i am very soft in my delivery, but feedback from friends +family is that i have the delivery of a brick through a window
So I'm sorry if it comes across bluntly
Do you feel you need to apologise for it?
I'm acutely aware of it, so i tiptoe using fluffy, teddy bear language around them and withold any personal opinions that they might find challenging (like the Daily Mail is vile +spreads hate +lies )
I think they want me to conform to their standard (be married /have 2 kids/have normal coloured hair)
Yeah that would grind my piss and I’d probably bite my tongue off
In fairness i am very conflict averse - a result of my childhood! "
I like to think I learned from what I perceive as my parents mistakes. No doubt my kids think the same.. |
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