FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > What does FWB mean to you?
What does FWB mean to you?
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Now I should start this post by making it clear that I've never actually had a fwb, so I've no actual experience. Nevertheless, a "friend with benefits" is kinda what I'm hoping to find here on Fab.
All very well and good, but what is it exactly? I thought Ì knew (its where you find somebody you like and have things in common with and enjoy their company, and with whom you enjoy a sexual relationship which you both agree won't develop into bf/gf. Simples, right..?).
Well... not so simples, apparently! It seems not everyone is on the same page about this. I read a post on the forum yesterday where a (straight female) forumite (my target audience, so to speak! I'm a straight guy) was bemoaning "...guys on here who think that fwb means throwing them a couple of texts a week" - or words to that effect.
So now I'm concerned... cos i dont even text my own mum twice a week. My best friend nick hasnt heard from we in... nearly a fortnight? And yet, its fine! This isn't a problem - our relationships are still strong.
So my question to you lovely fabbers - what does a fwb thing look like in your minds? Even better, in your actual experience! Define it for me. At what point does a relationship really deserve to be honoured with the name bf/gf? Please be specific - "Well it depends on the individuals involved" isnt good enough, people!
P.S. To the forumite who posted that comment - my intention here is honestly NOT to get a load of people to gang up on you and tell you that you're wrong. Tbh they're more likely to do that to me!!! I just want to hear the diversity of peoples' opinions. Let's not make this an argument, lovely people of Fab!  |
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I’ve never really had a FWB (as in I’ve not had somebody I do stuff with as friends as well as sex) but whenever I’ve had long-term fuck buddies we’ve messaged every day.
I guess it’s down to whatever you’re both happy with as a pair, no right or wrong answers! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s starts with Freind. We’d keep in touch and friends care for others well being.
Benefits - Sex. They’re sexy and think I’m sexy. Sexy people should do sexy sex now and then because it is sexy.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Friends with benefits means to me, someone I can chill with now and then. Cuddles are high up on the list of activities (maybe even naked cuddles).
I don't want texts all the time, actually I'd prefer texting just to schedule the next cuddle |
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By *JstarsoloWoman
over a year ago
Wombwell, Barnsley |
It's a friend who keeps in touch with you on a fairly regular basis (not once every few months when they have an urge); who's interested in you as a person; a healthy does of uncomplicated sex thrown in; and whatever else you want it to be.
Bad idea I think to try to pin it down to one description as if it's right for those involved, it doesn't matter what the definition is.
Sometimes we can overanalyse things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Someone I have sex with who I can throw a couple of texts to every couple of weeks 
For real though, I'm not really a fan of messaging anyway. Ideally I'd see them every 2-3 weeks for a weekend together, so I wouldn't mind them not messaging me every day. Maybe just the odd 'saw this and thought of you' message. Obviously we would need to text to make plans for when we were seeing each other again, but I don't need to be messaged from morning to night. That's boyfriend territory to me. |
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My experience of this was a woman who i used to message sometimes everyday and sometimes every other day depending on how busy life was. I would visit her or visa versa and watch a film, have a bottle of wine etc knowing that sex was always on the cards, had it not have been the arrangement wouldnt have worked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fwb to me is someone I can call and say 'there's a film I want to go see, you coming'? Or call and say 'I'm soooo horny get over here' (and vice versa of course) and there's no judgement. I'd want to give and receive all the good bits minus the arguments and washing his undercrackers.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The only two I had, we could just pick up where we left off. Although we messaged regularly, we weren't in each other's pockets and lead totally separate lives. We only got together for sex. A mutually convenient and pleasurable arrangement. |
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"It's a friend who keeps in touch with you on a fairly regular basis (not once every few months when they have an urge); who's interested in you as a person; a healthy does of uncomplicated sex thrown in; and whatever else you want it to be.
Bad idea I think to try to pin it down to one description as if it's right for those involved, it doesn't matter what the definition is.
Sometimes we can overanalyse things."
You nailed it  |
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By *riel13Woman
over a year ago
Northampton |
It's whatever you both agree on and want... I cohabit with mine... We have been seeing eachother for 6 years... We are not exclusive, infact, I encourage him to meet others as it's a bit of a turn on for me... Your idea sounds more like fuck buddies to me but the things are am looking for, these days, are apparently fairly complicated... I definitely don't want a boyfriend/partner/husband or any type of commitment though... Only the good stuff |
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"My experience of this was a woman who i used to message sometimes everyday and sometimes every other day depending on how busy life was. I would visit her or visa versa and watch a film, have a bottle of wine etc knowing that sex was always on the cards, had it not have been the arrangement wouldnt have worked. "
I had something very similar which worked well until she had to move away due to a work promotion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How can you build a friendship if you don't have regular communication of some form?"
I guess it depends how close a friendship you want. I don't want it that close. |
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"It's whatever you both agree on and want... I cohabit with mine... We have been seeing eachother for 6 years... We are not exclusive, infact, I encourage him to meet others as it's a bit of a turn on for me... Your idea sounds more like fuck buddies to me but the things are am looking for, these days, are apparently fairly complicated... I definitely don't want a boyfriend/partner/husband or any type of commitment though... Only the good stuff "
Thanks, so interesting. Not wanting commitment but only wanting the good stuff is a defining characteristic of a FWB thing, I would say. What other defining characteristics can we pin down..?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How can you build a friendship if you don't have regular communication of some form?
I guess it depends how close a friendship you want. I don't want it that close. "
Is 40 miles and twice a month too close?.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How can you build a friendship if you don't have regular communication of some form?
I guess it depends how close a friendship you want. I don't want it that close. "
There just someone I know then. That’s how I see that.
Regularly speaking to someone is a friend. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me the difference between FWB and FB is what the focus of the relationship is. Is friendship or sex the main objective? An fb relationship would surely only require communication to arrange meets, whereas I'd be much more interested in a FWB as a person and frequent messaging and time spent doing non-sexual things would be essential in cultivating that bond. |
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"For me the difference between FWB and FB is what the focus of the relationship is. Is friendship or sex the main objective? An fb relationship would surely only require communication to arrange meets, whereas I'd be much more interested in a FWB as a person and frequent messaging and time spent doing non-sexual things would be essential in cultivating that bond."
Agree with this. I don't want FB because I do want to find someone I care about, who I like, who I do stuff with. Meeting only for sex = fuck buddy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it depends who it is and what feels right with them. When you find someone that fits you just naturally find a balance that feels comfortable for you both, I wouldn't say I have any set ideas of how often I'd see them or talk to them. |
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"I’ve always spoken to mine every day in some way or another. Never really thought about it it’s just the way it is. "
Just be natural with it, right? Specific requirements or expectations are more of a traditional bf/gf thing, if I understand you..? FWB means going with the flow..?  |
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"I’ve always spoken to mine every day in some way or another. Never really thought about it it’s just the way it is.
Just be natural with it, right? Specific requirements or expectations are more of a traditional bf/gf thing, if I understand you..? FWB means going with the flow..? "
Yeah I think so. Although if I didn’t hear from the for a couple of weeks I don’t think I’d be best pleased |
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"I’ve always spoken to mine every day in some way or another. Never really thought about it it’s just the way it is.
Just be natural with it, right? Specific requirements or expectations are more of a traditional bf/gf thing, if I understand you..? FWB means going with the flow..?
Yeah I think so. Although if I didn’t hear from the for a couple of weeks I don’t think I’d be best pleased "
*them |
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"I think it depends who it is and what feels right with them. When you find someone that fits you just naturally find a balance that feels comfortable for you both, I wouldn't say I have any set ideas of how often I'd see them or talk to them. "
You have no expectations or requirements whatsoever..? Or is it that you just don't stress over 'labelling' whatever it is you might have going on with someone..? x |
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"Someone I have sex with who I can throw a couple of texts to every couple of weeks
For real though, I'm not really a fan of messaging anyway. Ideally I'd see them every 2-3 weeks for a weekend together, so I wouldn't mind them not messaging me every day. Maybe just the odd 'saw this and thought of you' message. Obviously we would need to text to make plans for when we were seeing each other again, but I don't need to be messaged from morning to night. That's boyfriend territory to me. "
Yes, there's definitely a line, past which you're into bf/gf territory! x |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
I’ve been lucky enough to have a few FWBs over the years. Two of which texted every day. One I would socialise with quite a bit as well with. We went to a few shows, had coffees and he’d come to mine on a regular basis to play. We talked about many things and it was a great time.
The other guy messaged me everything day and we became really good friends. Open conversations about many things and met up as often as we could.
FWB develop from first meets and having a connection. They aren’t something you expect. |
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"It’s starts with Freind. We’d keep in touch and friends care for others well being.
Benefits - Sex. They’re sexy and think I’m sexy. Sexy people should do sexy sex now and then because it is sexy. "
You're saying that your main interest in them ought to be as a friend. Sexy stuff is great too, but should be considered a bonus..? Yes, I think I like that definition... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me the difference between FWB and FB is what the focus of the relationship is. Is friendship or sex the main objective? An fb relationship would surely only require communication to arrange meets, whereas I'd be much more interested in a FWB as a person and frequent messaging and time spent doing non-sexual things would be essential in cultivating that bond."
Kind of both. Our regular communications weren't solely about sex, but life stuff too. As were our meets, not just fuck and go. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think friends with benefits means there are no expectations on how often we communicate, just whatever feels comfortable.
If someone tells me I take too long to reply, then that's feels like a boyfriends expectation and I don't want that pressure. |
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"I’ve been lucky enough to have a few FWBs over the years. Two of which texted every day. One I would socialise with quite a bit as well with. We went to a few shows, had coffees and he’d come to mine on a regular basis to play. We talked about many things and it was a great time.
The other guy messaged me everything day and we became really good friends. Open conversations about many things and met up as often as we could.
FWB develop from first meets and having a connection. They aren’t something you expect. "
Love that last sentence! Very informative!! An Fwb relationship cannot be (specifically) pursued - it must ensure out of a mutual connection and a desire for the same thing. Love it x |
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I have very close fwb's and our relationships border on bf/gf status, but we differ from speaking daily and weekly, it purely depends on how busy we are at the time
FB's I happily only speak to for when it's playtime |
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By *P994Man
over a year ago
Travelling |
For me personally, FWB is someone who you can also do non-sexual stuff with as well. A fuck buddy would just come over maybe chat for a bit have sex and then go but in that situation with a FWB you could go out for an evening come back and stay the night. Although the boundaries need to be set and also for me I wouldn’t have to communicate every day with someone a weekly or bi weekly check in text would be fine to see how they’re doing and when they’ll be free again to plan stuff in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s starts with Freind. We’d keep in touch and friends care for others well being.
Benefits - Sex. They’re sexy and think I’m sexy. Sexy people should do sexy sex now and then because it is sexy.
You're saying that your main interest in them ought to be as a friend. Sexy stuff is great too, but should be considered a bonus..? Yes, I think I like that definition... "
For a FWB absolutely. Or they’re just a regular HOOK UP. And you can hook up with strangers for sex.
I keep in touch and meet up with people I like, I and I grow to like them (sometimes, really like them) to find I wasn’t considered the same way bothers me, because I thought of them as something more than just a little fun (cheeky hook up) and I wouldn’t of wanted the way I act with them to bother them. If that makes sense.
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Just a casual fuck how I see it
I myself don’t fuck my actual friends as they are friends . That leaves me with either a person is a partner or they are just a casual fuck / one off fuck (no real difference between the latter two for me ) |
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"Now I should start this post by making it clear that I've never actually had a fwb, so I've no actual experience. Nevertheless, a "friend with benefits" is kinda what I'm hoping to find here on Fab.
All very well and good, but what is it exactly? I thought Ì knew (its where you find somebody you like and have things in common with and enjoy their company, and with whom you enjoy a sexual relationship which you both agree won't develop into bf/gf. Simples, right..?).
Well... not so simples, apparently! It seems not everyone is on the same page about this. I read a post on the forum yesterday where a (straight female) forumite (my target audience, so to speak! I'm a straight guy) was bemoaning "...guys on here who think that fwb means throwing them a couple of texts a week" - or words to that effect.
So now I'm concerned... cos i dont even text my own mum twice a week. My best friend nick hasnt heard from we in... nearly a fortnight? And yet, its fine! This isn't a problem - our relationships are still strong.
So my question to you lovely fabbers - what does a fwb thing look like in your minds? Even better, in your actual experience! Define it for me. At what point does a relationship really deserve to be honoured with the name bf/gf? Please be specific - "Well it depends on the individuals involved" isnt good enough, people!
P.S. To the forumite who posted that comment - my intention here is honestly NOT to get a load of people to gang up on you and tell you that you're wrong. Tbh they're more likely to do that to me!!! I just want to hear the diversity of peoples' opinions. Let's not make this an argument, lovely people of Fab! "
Love this. I laughed so hard. You want specifics ? ! Are you Sydney university lol. Everyone's idea of friendship is different , everyone's idea of F.w.b will be different. If an individual is needy and needs constant communication to feel safe, it's not F.w.b. it's a relationship from one persons perspective but not the other.
It's said soany times on the forums that you can't put things in boxes or labels. It just doesn't work.
People might agree to f.w.b. because deep down they want more than that.
My experience is, you don't maintain a close relationship with someone once one party is no longer interested in sex. Once one looses interest in sex that's when the friendship starts to die off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it depends who it is and what feels right with them. When you find someone that fits you just naturally find a balance that feels comfortable for you both, I wouldn't say I have any set ideas of how often I'd see them or talk to them.
You have no expectations or requirements whatsoever..? Or is it that you just don't stress over 'labelling' whatever it is you might have going on with someone..? x"
A bit of both really. I think if you're looking for something specific it makes life harder. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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FWB for me is someone who I can hang out with and do normal stuff with such as snuggling on the sofa watching films, going out for drinks/dinner etc. dating lite I suppose, all the nice fun bits of dating but without the commitment or intertwining of lives. Oh & plenty of sex!
Doesn’t have to be something that’s done regularly but weekly sometimes daily messages are needed. Having a general interest in each other’s lives. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had FWBs all my adult life and there is definitely a fab/non fab divide it seems.
Mine were always very longterm (just like most friends) and started with friendship! It's always about the friendship for me, and like you I don't speak to any of my friends absolutely every week!
My longest FWB was 14 years and occasionally we wouldn't speak for six months plus, why? Because like all friends we were busy doing our other stuff and didn't need to!
Like friends we knew each other's families and friends and would be each other's plus ones etc ...
... but we had benefits, that wasn't the goal as we were friends first and foremost and of course I'm still friends with all of them just life moves on ... like most friends.
Fab fwbs seems purely built around the sex first and foremost so I called it BWFs or benefits with friends!  |
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"It's a friend who keeps in touch with you on a fairly regular basis (not once every few months when they have an urge); who's interested in you as a person; a healthy does of uncomplicated sex thrown in; and whatever else you want it to be.
Bad idea I think to try to pin it down to one description as if it's right for those involved, it doesn't matter what the definition is.
Sometimes we can overanalyse things."
Totally this |
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" "...guys on here who think that fwb means throwing them a couple of texts a week" "
 ...wow ok
Communication is a "2 way road". A woman can and should also initiate a conversation. Also respect other people's time. If you have the expectation of me texting or calling you a specific number of times in a week, than for me those are expectations thar are not suited for a friendship (with benefits) ... the only expectations I have from a friend (benefits or not) is honesty and respect
|
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"I have very close fwb's and our relationships border on bf/gf status, but we differ from speaking daily and weekly, it purely depends on how busy we are at the time
FB's I happily only speak to for when it's playtime"
Sounds like you're juggling a lot of balls there - successfully, too, by the sounds of it! I admire you |
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"It’s starts with Freind. We’d keep in touch and friends care for others well being.
Benefits - Sex. They’re sexy and think I’m sexy. Sexy people should do sexy sex now and then because it is sexy.
You're saying that your main interest in them ought to be as a friend. Sexy stuff is great too, but should be considered a bonus..? Yes, I think I like that definition...
For a FWB absolutely. Or they’re just a regular HOOK UP. And you can hook up with strangers for sex.
I keep in touch and meet up with people I like, I and I grow to like them (sometimes, really like them) to find I wasn’t considered the same way bothers me, because I thought of them as something more than just a little fun (cheeky hook up) and I wouldn’t of wanted the way I act with them to bother them. If that makes sense.
"
Yes, yes... I'm seeing this more and more as a bit of a tightrope which must be trodden very cautiously! |
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"Just a casual fuck how I see it
I myself don’t fuck my actual friends as they are friends . That leaves me with either a person is a partner or they are just a casual fuck / one off fuck (no real difference between the latter two for me ) "
I see, I see. You find it beneficial to strictly keep 'Friends' and 'More Than Friends' separate. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Friends with benefits means to me, someone I can chill with now and then. Cuddles are high up on the list of activities (maybe even naked cuddles).
I don't want texts all the time, actually I'd prefer texting just to schedule the next cuddle
"
Spot on! |
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"Fwb generally turns into a dysfunctional relationship "
I'm beginning to see how it might!
Fascinating responses, guys! I see that my initial idea of a FWB situation being "simples" was grossly mistaken!!!  x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"……my initial idea of a FWB situation being "simples" was grossly mistaken!!! x"
Nothing between two people that might fancy each other is Simple. That’s my experience.
And this is why the friends works out for me, we talk and figure things out.
And why FB would work out. We don’t talk, and nothing crops up that bothers us. |
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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago
. (or anywhere beginning with B..!?) |
"Fwb generally turns into a dysfunctional relationship
I'm beginning to see how it might!
Fascinating responses, guys! I see that my initial idea of a FWB situation being "simples" was grossly mistaken!!! x"
It can be simple... it entirely depends who's involved, whether the communication is clear and that if anything changes, feelings or otherwise then that's also discussed ... |
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The friend part is important. This may mean doing things just as friends or just being someone you can turn to for support. If this is not there but they are a regular partner than to me that's fuck buddies. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fwb is exactly like any other friend but you fuck too, however no expectations, and not exclusive
FB would just be someone I'd meet every now and then when horny. No real communication in between |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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FWB relationship arise in our society because of the bitterness that comes when relationships with commitment ends.
With FWB we have a lot if sweetness with little pain to expect. This become a problem if encounters become to frequent and deep loving feelings develop. This is often apparent when others ask you "what wrong with you", when you have a "little disagreement" with your FWB. Someone described the pain as worse that loosing a life time partner, if you break up in situation like this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fwb is exactly like any other friend but you fuck too, however no expectations, and not exclusive
FB would just be someone I'd meet every now and then when horny. No real communication in between "
Clear and neat! |
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"I've had FWBs all my adult life and there is definitely a fab/non fab divide it seems.
Mine were always very longterm (just like most friends) and started with friendship! It's always about the friendship for me, and like you I don't speak to any of my friends absolutely every week!
My longest FWB was 14 years and occasionally we wouldn't speak for six months plus, why? Because like all friends we were busy doing our other stuff and didn't need to!
Like friends we knew each other's families and friends and would be each other's plus ones etc ...
... but we had benefits, that wasn't the goal as we were friends first and foremost and of course I'm still friends with all of them just life moves on ... like most friends.
Fab fwbs seems purely built around the sex first and foremost so I called it BWFs or benefits with friends! "
Haha, yes! Are we friends with Benefits or are we benefits with "friends". Thanks Ivana x |
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" "...guys on here who think that fwb means throwing them a couple of texts a week"
...wow ok
Communication is a "2 way road". A woman can and should also initiate a conversation. Also respect other people's time. If you have the expectation of me texting or calling you a specific number of times in a week, than for me those are expectations thar are not suited for a friendship (with benefits) ... the only expectations I have from a friend (benefits or not) is honesty and respect
"
Yes, I also wish to avoid too many expectations being placed on me - and that goes for a relationship of ANY kind. Thanks man! |
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"……my initial idea of a FWB situation being "simples" was grossly mistaken!!! x
Nothing between two people that might fancy each other is Simple. That’s my experience.
And this is why the friends works out for me, we talk and figure things out.
And why FB would work out. We don’t talk, and nothing crops up that bothers us. "
Gotcha! And never the twain shall meet, right? Don't get the two things confused! It's good advice, thanks so much |
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"The friend part is important. This may mean doing things just as friends or just being someone you can turn to for support. If this is not there but they are a regular partner than to me that's fuck buddies. "
Yes, crucial distinction that! x |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
To me it's someone who you can bounce off with each other, have things in common whether sexually or anything else but have some kind of link which both enjoy without any problems on a needed basis |
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An FwB for me means
* He is my best friend and confidant
* We share mutual understanding and respect
* We agreed boundaries - personal and playtime
* He is privy to my personal life as I am to his
* We share good and bad times
* We share some of the same interests and sense of humour
* I am not in his pocket nor is he in mine
* Playtime is 
* We are in touch as friends would be but I wouldn’t flip my lid if he didn’t contact for a few days. He’s not my property nor I am his.
It works for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"An FwB for me means
* He is my best friend and confidant
* We share mutual understanding and respect
* We agreed boundaries - personal and playtime
* He is privy to my personal life as I am to his
* We share good and bad times
* We share some of the same interests and sense of humour
* I am not in his pocket nor is he in mine
* Playtime is
* We are in touch as friends would be but I wouldn’t flip my lid if he didn’t contact for a few days. He’s not my property nor I am his.
It works for me "
That’s a pretty comprehensive list there!
For me it’s a connection that goes beyond the fun, openness about all parts of life, but without the reliance on each other |
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"An FwB for me means
* He is my best friend and confidant
* We share mutual understanding and respect
* We agreed boundaries - personal and playtime
* He is privy to my personal life as I am to his
* We share good and bad times
* We share some of the same interests and sense of humour
* I am not in his pocket nor is he in mine
* Playtime is
* We are in touch as friends would be but I wouldn’t flip my lid if he didn’t contact for a few days. He’s not my property nor I am his.
It works for me
That’s a pretty comprehensive list there!
For me it’s a connection that goes beyond the fun, openness about all parts of life, but without the reliance on each other "
Your list was far shorter than mine but same principle |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"An FwB for me means
* He is my best friend and confidant
* We share mutual understanding and respect
* We agreed boundaries - personal and playtime
* He is privy to my personal life as I am to his
* We share good and bad times
* We share some of the same interests and sense of humour
* I am not in his pocket nor is he in mine
* Playtime is
* We are in touch as friends would be but I wouldn’t flip my lid if he didn’t contact for a few days. He’s not my property nor I am his.
It works for me
That’s a pretty comprehensive list there!
For me it’s a connection that goes beyond the fun, openness about all parts of life, but without the reliance on each other
Your list was far shorter than mine but same principle "
Yes, definitely |
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"An FwB for me means
* He is my best friend and confidant
* We share mutual understanding and respect
* We agreed boundaries - personal and playtime
* He is privy to my personal life as I am to his
* We share good and bad times
* We share some of the same interests and sense of humour
* I am not in his pocket nor is he in mine
* Playtime is
* We are in touch as friends would be but I wouldn’t flip my lid if he didn’t contact for a few days. He’s not my property nor I am his.
It works for me "
Thanks for that, _iamondcougar x
One question though - couldn't this list equally be used to define a bf/gf relationship? Or not..? What would the crucial difference between the two be? |
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For me, it's friends. The benefits are being able to have open free-wheeling conversations that include sexual matters but are mainly just nonsense between people that are comfortable in each others company without the complications of worry about relationships other than friendship. Sex? I'll tell you if and when that happens. At the moment my emotions are too raw for wanting more than someone to hold me at night so I feel safe. |
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"To me it means friends.. but with benefits.. of a sexual nature.."
The classic, simple and straightforward hetrosexual male point of view! Have you had any personal experience of it though? Only, I'm learning that it's anything but simple and straightforward! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I go along with the OP definition. I've been trying for an FWB for years, and my success rate is very low indeed. I have made one that meets that definition but he lives too far away and is always travelling so we meet only rarely. Sad, uh? |
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"I go along with the OP definition. I've been trying for an FWB for years, and my success rate is very low indeed. I have made one that meets that definition but he lives too far away and is always travelling so we meet only rarely. Sad, uh?"
Sorry to hear that bro. It's not easy, it seems!! Anyway - chin up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I like to know how he is, he likes to know how I am - we check in on each other. Spend time talking, have some food maybe, watch tv etc. And sex. I don't call someone a friend if all he wants from me is a shag.
Doesn't matter how often - it's the intention and the emotion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
F W B stands for : Fist With Banister
Is a massive thing n u need to put it there …
But with no pressure. . .
People suffocate , and sometimes the pressure of the relation ends ruinning the connection or sex drive .
I don’t like term FWB . The word benefit reminds me the job centre .
I don’t need favours .
I just want someone nice to share good time who doesn’t fuck my head up or suffocates me xx
I like to call it NSA or Sexy Friendship
Then if something with no pressure developes into something more … well … go with the flow
The drive doesn’t have brake pedals
|
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Why does it all need to labelled so clearly? Why are there these the arbitrary lines of bf/gf territory, like heaven forbid two people who aren't Facebook official dare to snuggle. Or hold hands. Or do romantic things?
I've realised/am realising that I did spend a lot of time trying to define dynamics. Trying to understand it more because if I whack a label on it then maybe it makes more sense. It has to be clear cut when you're in a monogamous world to make sense of it. Say hey, this is what I'm doing. But now, I'm happy having friends I have sex with. Their friendship is the most important thing to me, I don't know if they're fbs or fwbs or bfs or whatever. Bar when I'm being needy and want an exact definition to soothe my pmt-ing soul.
But I'm happy to just enjoy the myriad of dynamics I have on here, without expectation of certain behaviours, communication. Enjoying people for the unique things they bring to that myriad.
Oh apart from answering questions directly. If I'm told "patience with a cute love heart one more time" I'll probably pout. And laugh at my own absurdity. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"An FwB for me means
* He is my best friend and confidant
* We share mutual understanding and respect
* We agreed boundaries - personal and playtime
* He is privy to my personal life as I am to his
* We share good and bad times
* We share some of the same interests and sense of humour
* I am not in his pocket nor is he in mine
* Playtime is
* We are in touch as friends would be but I wouldn’t flip my lid if he didn’t contact for a few days. He’s not my property nor I am his.
It works for me "
This
But in my experience reality doesn't quite match. They saw me as someone to pick up as when they had a need and dumped quickly, if I wasn't available we'll they did indeed throw their dummy out the pram.  |
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"F W B stands for : Fist With Banister
Is a massive thing n u need to put it there …
But with no pressure. . .
People suffocate , and sometimes the pressure of the relation ends ruinning the connection or sex drive .
I don’t like term FWB . The word benefit reminds me the job centre .
I don’t need favours .
I just want someone nice to share good time who doesn’t fuck my head up or suffocates me xx
I like to call it NSA or Sexy Friendship
Then if something with no pressure developes into something more … well … go with the flow
The drive doesn’t have brake pedals
"
Strange which words put us off isn’t it. I don’t like the term NSA or fuck buddy. I wouldn’t even answer a message if that was on a profile. |
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We have a couple of single FWB’s and we keep in touch with them regularly.
We know about their lives outside of FAB and we converse on many subjects.
We all chat when we want/can and check in if we haven’t heard from each other for a while.
When we meet, we’ve done so for a weekend so it’s a combination of vanilla and play. We effectively become a 3 for our time together.
And as they are single we ensure that they feel fully involved before, during and after. Whilst we have each other for support, it’s important to ensure after care is considered for them too.
K
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We have a couple of single FWB’s and we keep in touch with them regularly.
We know about their lives outside of FAB and we converse on many subjects.
We all chat when we want/can and check in if we haven’t heard from each other for a while.
When we meet, we’ve done so for a weekend so it’s a combination of vanilla and play. We effectively become a 3 for our time together.
And as they are single we ensure that they feel fully involved before, during and after. Whilst we have each other for support, it’s important to ensure after care is considered for them too.
K
"
That's very considerate, I wish more folk had this mentality towards others in that dynamic. Fair play to you both. |
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"F W B stands for : Fist With Banister
Is a massive thing n u need to put it there …
But with no pressure. . .
People suffocate , and sometimes the pressure of the relation ends ruinning the connection or sex drive .
I don’t like term FWB . The word benefit reminds me the job centre .
I don’t need favours .
I just want someone nice to share good time who doesn’t fuck my head up or suffocates me xx
I like to call it NSA or Sexy Friendship
Then if something with no pressure developes into something more … well … go with the flow
The drive doesn’t have brake pedals
Strange which words put us off isn’t it. I don’t like the term NSA or fuck buddy. I wouldn’t even answer a message if that was on a profile. "
Yes, labels do have the potential to cause you to infer certain thing/s which may or may not have been intended. Then they become a barrier instead of facilitating things. |
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"Why does it all need to labelled so clearly? Why are there these the arbitrary lines of bf/gf territory, like heaven forbid two people who aren't Facebook official dare to snuggle. Or hold hands. Or do romantic things?
I've realised/am realising that I did spend a lot of time trying to define dynamics. Trying to understand it more because if I whack a label on it then maybe it makes more sense. It has to be clear cut when you're in a monogamous world to make sense of it. Say hey, this is what I'm doing. But now, I'm happy having friends I have sex with. Their friendship is the most important thing to me, I don't know if they're fbs or fwbs or bfs or whatever. Bar when I'm being needy and want an exact definition to soothe my pmt-ing soul.
But I'm happy to just enjoy the myriad of dynamics I have on here, without expectation of certain behaviours, communication. Enjoying people for the unique things they bring to that myriad.
Oh apart from answering questions directly. If I'm told "patience with a cute love heart one more time" I'll probably pout. And laugh at my own absurdity."
I'm hearing you say Don't try to label it. Unless you have PMT and need me to label it..?  (just pulling your leg xxx) |
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I'd like to think I have a couple however they vary wildly in definition..
One , I speak to daily but its been a while since benefits and we mainly chat normal stuff..
Another less often but it gets naughty more we talk ..
Another is less often again but filthy straight off the bat ..
However the 2nd and 3rd ...2nd had benefits with for a time...3rd is very much just chat for now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why does it all need to labelled so clearly? Why are there these the arbitrary lines of bf/gf territory, like heaven forbid two people who aren't Facebook official dare to snuggle. Or hold hands. Or do romantic things?
I've realised/am realising that I did spend a lot of time trying to define dynamics. Trying to understand it more because if I whack a label on it then maybe it makes more sense. It has to be clear cut when you're in a monogamous world to make sense of it. Say hey, this is what I'm doing. But now, I'm happy having friends I have sex with. Their friendship is the most important thing to me, I don't know if they're fbs or fwbs or bfs or whatever. Bar when I'm being needy and want an exact definition to soothe my pmt-ing soul.
But I'm happy to just enjoy the myriad of dynamics I have on here, without expectation of certain behaviours, communication. Enjoying people for the unique things they bring to that myriad.
Oh apart from answering questions directly. If I'm told "patience with a cute love heart one more time" I'll probably pout. And laugh at my own absurdity."
Same , for me is all the same , the rest is all labels .
I don’t treat a NSA with less love then I would treat a wife or a girlfriend . X x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'd like to think I have a couple however they vary wildly in definition..
One , I speak to daily but its been a while since benefits and we mainly chat normal stuff..
Another less often but it gets naughty more we talk ..
Another is less often again but filthy straight off the bat ..
However the 2nd and 3rd ...2nd had benefits with for a time...3rd is very much just chat for now "
 you must need a diary to track all that |
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"It's whatever you both agree on and want... I cohabit with mine... We have been seeing eachother for 6 years... We are not exclusive, infact, I encourage him to meet others as it's a bit of a turn on for me... Your idea sounds more like fuck buddies to me but the things are am looking for, these days, are apparently fairly complicated... I definitely don't want a boyfriend/partner/husband or any type of commitment though... Only the good stuff "
This |
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"Why does it all need to labelled so clearly? Why are there these the arbitrary lines of bf/gf territory, like heaven forbid two people who aren't Facebook official dare to snuggle. Or hold hands. Or do romantic things?
I've realised/am realising that I did spend a lot of time trying to define dynamics. Trying to understand it more because if I whack a label on it then maybe it makes more sense. It has to be clear cut when you're in a monogamous world to make sense of it. Say hey, this is what I'm doing. But now, I'm happy having friends I have sex with. Their friendship is the most important thing to me, I don't know if they're fbs or fwbs or bfs or whatever. Bar when I'm being needy and want an exact definition to soothe my pmt-ing soul.
But I'm happy to just enjoy the myriad of dynamics I have on here, without expectation of certain behaviours, communication. Enjoying people for the unique things they bring to that myriad.
Oh apart from answering questions directly. If I'm told "patience with a cute love heart one more time" I'll probably pout. And laugh at my own absurdity.
Same , for me is all the same , the rest is all labels .
I don’t treat a NSA with less love then I would treat a wife or a girlfriend . X x "
I like that! I'm writing that one down. NSA, gf, wife - treat them all with the same love |
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Wow. So many hard held opinions.
Friendship is different for everyone and each friendship varies.
So anything you would consider friendship counts.
Benefits I'd say it accepted is sex in whatever form you both choose.
Yeah sounds like a relationship doesn't it. But there is is no commitment and that's understood by both parties.
Think it's fairly simple and for me at least I've had fwb' for up to 2 years at a time one still a friend but no benefits. Never been any kind of problem |
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"An FwB for me means
* He is my best friend and confidant
* We share mutual understanding and respect
* We agreed boundaries - personal and playtime
* He is privy to my personal life as I am to his
* We share good and bad times
* We share some of the same interests and sense of humour
* I am not in his pocket nor is he in mine
* Playtime is
* We are in touch as friends would be but I wouldn’t flip my lid if he didn’t contact for a few days. He’s not my property nor I am his.
It works for me
Thanks for that, _iamondcougar x
One question though - couldn't this list equally be used to define a bf/gf relationship? Or not..? What would the crucial difference between the two be? "
Yes, it could…. But I don’t need or want a relationship that’s the difference. |
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"We have a couple of single FWB’s and we keep in touch with them regularly.
We know about their lives outside of FAB and we converse on many subjects.
We all chat when we want/can and check in if we haven’t heard from each other for a while.
When we meet, we’ve done so for a weekend so it’s a combination of vanilla and play. We effectively become a 3 for our time together.
And as they are single we ensure that they feel fully involved before, during and after. Whilst we have each other for support, it’s important to ensure after care is considered for them too.
K
"
As only you two would |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's a friend who keeps in touch with you on a fairly regular basis (not once every few months when they have an urge); who's interested in you as a person; a healthy does of uncomplicated sex thrown in; and whatever else you want it to be.
Bad idea I think to try to pin it down to one description as if it's right for those involved, it doesn't matter what the definition is.
Sometimes we can overanalyse things.
You nailed it "
Yes totally nailed it! so where does Mrs find hers then? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's a friend who keeps in touch with you on a fairly regular basis (not once every few months when they have an urge); who's interested in you as a person; a healthy does of uncomplicated sex thrown in; and whatever else you want it to be.
"
Totally agree. In that sense it is not very different from a non sexual friendship. I guess one needs to feel appreciated for who one is, rather than one’s sexual prowess.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"F W B stands for : Fist With Banister
Is a massive thing n u need to put it there …
But with no pressure. . .
People suffocate , and sometimes the pressure of the relation ends ruinning the connection or sex drive .
I don’t like term FWB . The word benefit reminds me the job centre .
I don’t need favours .
I just want someone nice to share good time who doesn’t fuck my head up or suffocates me xx
I like to call it NSA or Sexy Friendship
Then if something with no pressure developes into something more … well … go with the flow
The drive doesn’t have brake pedals
Strange which words put us off isn’t it. I don’t like the term NSA or fuck buddy. I wouldn’t even answer a message if that was on a profile. "
Yeah . Fuck buddy says nothing to me , sounds like a diesel man in the desert in USA …
Came to my attention that many people don’t like the term NSA . Many take it as hook up.
Is a bit of a ballon in the air , everyone takes it in a different way .
I think I’m stopping using it . Is causing misunderstandings …
Is not accurate either . Cause in the end even is only a sexual friend already has the slightest strings already , cause people at list like each other already …
Gonna make a new one .
NCP : no commitment pressure ^^
Joking …
Sexy friendship . Is how I like to call how I feel .
Then after that… hopefully we will see x x
Respect ^^
|
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For me FWB is
Good confidant, for those times you just need an open conversation with no judgement
Someone for whom sex is about the cuddling as much as the fucking
Someone who is comfortable naked together when not having sex
Someone who likes conversation, chat, chilling and is not in a rush for the sexy times.
Someone who wants to meet regularly but is not looking for that full relationship but more than just hot sweaty fun
Lastly Someone who is open to getting to know each other and not in a rush
That's what FWB is for me, but I've found it's a very unique idea for each person. FWB isn't a highly defined idea everyone has thier own take on it. |
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By *b72Man
over a year ago
Nottingham |
Oooh a thread that doesn't involve Dick/boob/bum size
For me it's all about how you categorize the people around you.
1. Acquaintance
People you sort of know, you may see them in a club or chat to them on here, you may even have had sex with them but that's about all it is.
2. Mates
Someone you know a bit more about, family, work etc. You see them more socially and you can hook up if you fancy it. For me this is the fuck buddy zone.
3. Friends
These are people who know you, they know where you live and not just where your bedroom is. You can chat or go for a coffee, you invite them to your bbq, you can have sex and its usually better because you know things about each other, but it's not just about the sex, it's about being friends.
Just my thoughts anyway
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Find this very helpful but I do feel like there is a general definition for a FWB but we as people will always redefine it to suit ourselves (not a bad thing). So just do what you both can compromise on and have fun |
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"For me the difference between FWB and FB is what the focus of the relationship is. Is friendship or sex the main objective? An fb relationship would surely only require communication to arrange meets, whereas I'd be much more interested in a FWB as a person and frequent messaging and time spent doing non-sexual things would be essential in cultivating that bond.
Agree with this. I don't want FB because I do want to find someone I care about, who I like, who I do stuff with. Meeting only for sex = fuck buddy"
hard to find a fwb I’m finding x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have two FWB, I hear from both of them daily through messages and calls, I see one of them one week and the other the next week (occasionally see them both in the same week) we go out for meals, drinks, weekends away locally and also holidays abroad (not all together though) and it suits me perfectly |
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We all have our own idea of what a freind is add sex to that and you have a FWB.
I prefer the Benefits without the friendship though it's good to get to know people you click with.
For some people a FWB is just the person they partner to clubs and for couples meet etc..... and that's great.
Others want the f bit more and start making demands ....... fuck that |
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