FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Over indulging on porn . Sex . Fab etc
Over indulging on porn . Sex . Fab etc
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Do you think it's bad for your sex drive? Everything becomes too normal? It takes more to turn me on these days than it used to maybe it's because I'm not in my 20s anymore idk . Me & Mrs been together for 13 years and we done all we can in the bedroom. Feel like my brain craves for something more now then it us to . I'm ready to take the jump to explore in the swinging world but have to wait for Mrs to be ready to as she says she does want to do it eventually but not now so it's a tough one as I been into this alot longer and told her last May. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you think it's bad for your sex drive? Everything becomes too normal? It takes more to turn me on these days than it used to maybe it's because I'm not in my 20s anymore idk . Me & Mrs been together for 13 years and we done all we can in the bedroom. Feel like my brain craves for something more now then it us to . I'm ready to take the jump to explore in the swinging world but have to wait for Mrs to be ready to as she says she does want to do it eventually but not now so it's a tough one as I been into this alot longer and told her last May. "
Go cold Turkey from Fab and emotionally reconnect with your wife and see if the sex life improves? Just an experimental idea of course. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If you're watching a lot of porn, stop. Step away from fab for a while. Don't have sex for a bit. Concentrate on the other stuff that's good in your relationship, hold hands, cuddle on the sofa etc. Don't mention swinging to your wife for a month, impatience often seems to the other person as if you're more interested in what you want than their feelings. Nothing is less of an incentive to get involved in something. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Do you think it's bad for your sex drive? Everything becomes too normal? It takes more to turn me on these days than it used to maybe it's because I'm not in my 20s anymore idk . Me & Mrs been together for 13 years and we done all we can in the bedroom. Feel like my brain craves for something more now then it us to . I'm ready to take the jump to explore in the swinging world but have to wait for Mrs to be ready to as she says she does want to do it eventually but not now so it's a tough one as I been into this alot longer and told her last May.
Go cold Turkey from Fab and emotionally reconnect with your wife and see if the sex life improves? Just an experimental idea of course. "
I enjoy having sex with her still no doubt about it and I love her and we have a really strong bond but I only get off if we talk about role play stuff rather then just sex with her on our own and I kind of feel guilty for that |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Do you think it's bad for your sex drive? Everything becomes too normal? It takes more to turn me on these days than it used to maybe it's because I'm not in my 20s anymore idk . Me & Mrs been together for 13 years and we done all we can in the bedroom. Feel like my brain craves for something more now then it us to . I'm ready to take the jump to explore in the swinging world but have to wait for Mrs to be ready to as she says she does want to do it eventually but not now so it's a tough one as I been into this alot longer and told her last May.
Go cold Turkey from Fab and emotionally reconnect with your wife and see if the sex life improves? Just an experimental idea of course.
I enjoy having sex with her still no doubt about it and I love her and we have a really strong bond but I only get off if we talk about role play stuff rather then just sex with her on our own and I kind of feel guilty for that "
How does she feel about that? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If you're watching a lot of porn, stop. Step away from fab for a while. Don't have sex for a bit. Concentrate on the other stuff that's good in your relationship, hold hands, cuddle on the sofa etc. Don't mention swinging to your wife for a month, impatience often seems to the other person as if you're more interested in what you want than their feelings. Nothing is less of an incentive to get involved in something."
Yeah that's true. It's not so much the porn now I definitely watch less than I use to . Its over the years of watching it .
I feel like I only enjoy sex with her if we are talking about role play like her with another guy etc but that's not right should still enjoy it with her without talking about the fantasys. I'm deeply attracted to my wife and she's the best thing ever I wouldn't be without her just confusing for myself I think I'm probably more far along into it than she is which I totally respect of corse . Just have to be patient but still want to enjoy us sex without the role play getting me off if that makes sense |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If you're watching a lot of porn, stop. Step away from fab for a while. Don't have sex for a bit. Concentrate on the other stuff that's good in your relationship, hold hands, cuddle on the sofa etc. Don't mention swinging to your wife for a month, impatience often seems to the other person as if you're more interested in what you want than their feelings. Nothing is less of an incentive to get involved in something.
Yeah that's true. It's not so much the porn now I definitely watch less than I use to . Its over the years of watching it .
I feel like I only enjoy sex with her if we are talking about role play like her with another guy etc but that's not right should still enjoy it with her without talking about the fantasys. I'm deeply attracted to my wife and she's the best thing ever I wouldn't be without her just confusing for myself I think I'm probably more far along into it than she is which I totally respect of corse . Just have to be patient but still want to enjoy us sex without the role play getting me off if that makes sense "
I understand. I'm no therapist, far from it but could you keep the fantasy in your head while you're being intimate with your wife, or ask her to tell you one of her fantasies and concentrate on that?
You can't help what turns you on but if you focus on that it can seem to the other person that the fantasy is more important to you than them but I think you're aware of that |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I definitely think it can become addiction, and that what would have been a fantastic sexlife in the past can become a boring one as it's not living up to the porn we watch
By the way nice to finally meet you, rather than the shadow
My husband and I talked about swinging for about 4 years before anything actually happened as I wanted to ensure our relationship would be ok, eventually i realised there was no way of knowing until we tried
I guess patience which your already showing is key & hopefully it will be worth the wait |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I definitely think it can become addiction, and that what would have been a fantastic sexlife in the past can become a boring one as it's not living up to the porn we watch
By the way nice to finally meet you, rather than the shadow
My husband and I talked about swinging for about 4 years before anything actually happened as I wanted to ensure our relationship would be ok, eventually i realised there was no way of knowing until we tried
I guess patience which your already showing is key & hopefully it will be worth the wait "
Thank you and yeah I am being very patient. It takes as long as it takes . We are very open to each other. She said if we didn't have young children she'd be up for probably doing it now and she very much enjoys the fantasy she brings up off her own accord to which is positive! Like you say you and your husband spoke for 4 years . It's been my fantasy for probably 7 years but with my partner I told her last May so together we only been speaking about it for one year. We are both still young got lots of time. It took me alot to pluck up the courage to tell her last year . We have a very strong relationship but patience is key of corse as you say & nice to meet you to haha. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If you're watching a lot of porn, stop. Step away from fab for a while. Don't have sex for a bit. Concentrate on the other stuff that's good in your relationship, hold hands, cuddle on the sofa etc. Don't mention swinging to your wife for a month, impatience often seems to the other person as if you're more interested in what you want than their feelings. Nothing is less of an incentive to get involved in something.
Yeah that's true. It's not so much the porn now I definitely watch less than I use to . Its over the years of watching it .
I feel like I only enjoy sex with her if we are talking about role play like her with another guy etc but that's not right should still enjoy it with her without talking about the fantasys. I'm deeply attracted to my wife and she's the best thing ever I wouldn't be without her just confusing for myself I think I'm probably more far along into it than she is which I totally respect of corse . Just have to be patient but still want to enjoy us sex without the role play getting me off if that makes sense
I understand. I'm no therapist, far from it but could you keep the fantasy in your head while you're being intimate with your wife, or ask her to tell you one of her fantasies and concentrate on that?
You can't help what turns you on but if you focus on that it can seem to the other person that the fantasy is more important to you than them but I think you're aware of that"
Exactly this, my husband went through a phase of talking about me with other guys every time we had sex and it did start to feel as though I wasn’t enough for him any more. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If you're watching a lot of porn, stop. Step away from fab for a while. Don't have sex for a bit. Concentrate on the other stuff that's good in your relationship, hold hands, cuddle on the sofa etc. Don't mention swinging to your wife for a month, impatience often seems to the other person as if you're more interested in what you want than their feelings. Nothing is less of an incentive to get involved in something.
Yeah that's true. It's not so much the porn now I definitely watch less than I use to . Its over the years of watching it .
I feel like I only enjoy sex with her if we are talking about role play like her with another guy etc but that's not right should still enjoy it with her without talking about the fantasys. I'm deeply attracted to my wife and she's the best thing ever I wouldn't be without her just confusing for myself I think I'm probably more far along into it than she is which I totally respect of corse . Just have to be patient but still want to enjoy us sex without the role play getting me off if that makes sense
I understand. I'm no therapist, far from it but could you keep the fantasy in your head while you're being intimate with your wife, or ask her to tell you one of her fantasies and concentrate on that?
You can't help what turns you on but if you focus on that it can seem to the other person that the fantasy is more important to you than them but I think you're aware of that
Exactly this, my husband went through a phase of talking about me with other guys every time we had sex and it did start to feel as though I wasn’t enough for him any more."
Yeah exactly this I don't want her to feel like that at all. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you think it's bad for your sex drive? Everything becomes too normal? It takes more to turn me on these days than it used to maybe it's because I'm not in my 20s anymore idk . Me & Mrs been together for 13 years and we done all we can in the bedroom. Feel like my brain craves for something more now then it us to . I'm ready to take the jump to explore in the swinging world but have to wait for Mrs to be ready to as she says she does want to do it eventually but not now so it's a tough one as I been into this alot longer and told her last May.
Go cold Turkey from Fab and emotionally reconnect with your wife and see if the sex life improves? Just an experimental idea of course.
I enjoy having sex with her still no doubt about it and I love her and we have a really strong bond but I only get off if we talk about role play stuff rather then just sex with her on our own and I kind of feel guilty for that "
Just a thought that this may be nada to do with your sex life itself. Is routine, work etc getting formulaic? How about get away for a dirty weekend somewhere new? Change of scenery? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Definitely give up on the porn or watch some occasionally together, once porn becomes a substitute for sex then there is a real risk of problems.
T"
Its not really the Porn I don't really watch it much anymore. Not too fussed about the porn. Just overkill of it over the years I think. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Do you think it's bad for your sex drive? Everything becomes too normal? It takes more to turn me on these days than it used to maybe it's because I'm not in my 20s anymore idk . Me & Mrs been together for 13 years and we done all we can in the bedroom. Feel like my brain craves for something more now then it us to . I'm ready to take the jump to explore in the swinging world but have to wait for Mrs to be ready to as she says she does want to do it eventually but not now so it's a tough one as I been into this alot longer and told her last May.
Go cold Turkey from Fab and emotionally reconnect with your wife and see if the sex life improves? Just an experimental idea of course.
I enjoy having sex with her still no doubt about it and I love her and we have a really strong bond but I only get off if we talk about role play stuff rather then just sex with her on our own and I kind of feel guilty for that
Just a thought that this may be nada to do with your sex life itself. Is routine, work etc getting formulaic? How about get away for a dirty weekend somewhere new? Change of scenery? "
Definitely could be |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
