FabSwingers.com
 

FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Do you think you put people off?

Do you think you put people off?

Jump to: Newest in thread

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean? "

It’s kinda expected. But it’s important to remember that a bad attitude only negatively effects you.

And it’s kinda letting the bad guys win. The bad guys make us negative, then the good guys avoid us.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean? "

I find it hard you would put anyone off tbh lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yes.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

It’s kinda expected. But it’s important to remember that a bad attitude only negatively effects you.

And it’s kinda letting the bad guys win. The bad guys make us negative, then the good guys avoid us."

I don’t think I’m negative I think it’s more I’m not very forthcoming with information. I dunno really! Just pondering.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

I find it hard you would put anyone off tbh lol "

Haha. I know! I’m a fucking delight aren’t I!?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Nope, I'm the same little ball of sunshine I've always been

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *UGGYBEAR2015Man  over a year ago

BRIDPORT

Absolutely, I can sense people recoiling at the mere mention of my name.

It’s even more evident in person, they create clouds of dust as they speed away.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Nope, I'm the same little ball of sunshine I've always been "

Aww you are

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

It’s kinda expected. But it’s important to remember that a bad attitude only negatively effects you.

And it’s kinda letting the bad guys win. The bad guys make us negative, then the good guys avoid us.

I don’t think I’m negative I think it’s more I’m not very forthcoming with information. I dunno really! Just pondering. "

I do find myself being quite short with people on here if I’m having a bad day

And I’ve later realised I’ve been short with someone that was actually a good match for me.

It’s a hard balance. Some of the messages guys send on here make me want to give up.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Absolutely, I can sense people recoiling at the mere mention of my name.

It’s even more evident in person, they create clouds of dust as they speed away. "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean? "

On the forums you only ever appear as a nice person who seems in a good happy place. And who wouldn’t be attracted to that?

I sure know a lot (or at least a handful) won’t ever get me until they get to know me better.

Talking to people personally and privately helps that.

I can misjudge or get people wrong. But people can also be a twat towards one person when showing a nicer more friendlier image to another. So there’s that too.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

It’s kinda expected. But it’s important to remember that a bad attitude only negatively effects you.

And it’s kinda letting the bad guys win. The bad guys make us negative, then the good guys avoid us.

I don’t think I’m negative I think it’s more I’m not very forthcoming with information. I dunno really! Just pondering.

I do find myself being quite short with people on here if I’m having a bad day

And I’ve later realised I’ve been short with someone that was actually a good match for me.

It’s a hard balance. Some of the messages guys send on here make me want to give up."

Yeah same to be honest.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple  over a year ago

Leeds

I definitely do, I'm very wary until I meet someone and struggle with the small talk with people I don't know, I find it awkward.

Mrs

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

On the forums you only ever appear as a nice person who seems in a good happy place. And who wouldn’t be attracted to that?

I sure know a lot (or at least a handful) won’t ever get me until they get to know me better.

Talking to people personally and privately helps that.

I can misjudge or get people wrong. But people can also be a twat towards one person when showing a nicer more friendlier image to another. So there’s that too. "

I’m talking about private messages. Not sure I explained myself very well haha.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I definitely do, I'm very wary until I meet someone and struggle with the small talk with people I don't know, I find it awkward.

Mrs "

I don’t even like adding people as a friend until I’ve met them. I send a face pic though obviously.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean? "

Yeah I think I come across as very standoffish people probably wonder why I call myself jolly lol I am actually a generally happy jokey person but a lot of people on here don’t see that side of me. Some I do let see the real me.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *isaB45Woman  over a year ago

Fabville


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean? "

Yes, I do know what you mean.

I find that I'm rather cynical these days.

My profile is deliberately vague and abrupt. It's not 'me', but I'm just irked by the crass & demanding messages.

I'm a nice person really!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah I think I come across as very standoffish people probably wonder why I call myself jolly lol I am actually a generally happy jokey person but a lot of people on here don’t see that side of me. Some I do let see the real me. "

Yeah I think I may do too. I was chatting to a fwb yesterday and he said we all know Nora but not many people know(my real name!). And I think he’s right.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *hilloutMan  over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean? "

Yep I know what you mean. You are lovely though

Have no idea if I put people off or not. I don't post regularly enough nowadays to make any real impression. Even if I did, I wouldn't give it much thought.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Yes, I do know what you mean.

I find that I'm rather cynical these days.

My profile is deliberately vague and abrupt. It's not 'me', but I'm just irked by the crass & demanding messages.

I'm a nice person really!

"

Yes this!!! When I first joined my profile was so sweet and nice! I think mine maybe comes across as abrupt

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan  over a year ago

Gloucestershire

I put people off sometimes.

After being on & off here over the years, my whole attitude to fab is quite laid-back & carefree. Lots of my comments (& photos) are quite silly & daft, so my profile. I probably give out a 'village idiot' vibe.

Doesn't really bother me through.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Yep I know what you mean. You are lovely though

Have no idea if I put people off or not. I don't post regularly enough nowadays to make any real impression. Even if I did, I wouldn't give it much thought."

Haha. You’re one of the few who actually know ME.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple  over a year ago

Leeds


"I definitely do, I'm very wary until I meet someone and struggle with the small talk with people I don't know, I find it awkward.

Mrs

I don’t even like adding people as a friend until I’ve met them. I send a face pic though obviously. "

Yes I'm exactly the same, I think I'm more a fan of local socials where I can see people at face value, I find fab difficult, I mean it's hard to have a conversation with a profile pic that's just a vag or cock.

Mrs

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

This isn’t a moany thread by the way! Fab is fab and we all know what to expect and how it works. Was just pondering

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *isaB45Woman  over a year ago

Fabville


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Yes, I do know what you mean.

I find that I'm rather cynical these days.

My profile is deliberately vague and abrupt. It's not 'me', but I'm just irked by the crass & demanding messages.

I'm a nice person really!

Yes this!!! When I first joined my profile was so sweet and nice! I think mine maybe comes across as abrupt "

I know mine does, and have received abuse for it.

But it's my profile, so the twats can jog on!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I definitely do, I'm very wary until I meet someone and struggle with the small talk with people I don't know, I find it awkward.

Mrs

I don’t even like adding people as a friend until I’ve met them. I send a face pic though obviously.

Yes I'm exactly the same, I think I'm more a fan of local socials where I can see people at face value, I find fab difficult, I mean it's hard to have a conversation with a profile pic that's just a vag or cock.

Mrs "

Yeah this past year I have started going to more organised socials. I’m much better face to face x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Yes, I do know what you mean.

I find that I'm rather cynical these days.

My profile is deliberately vague and abrupt. It's not 'me', but I'm just irked by the crass & demanding messages.

I'm a nice person really!

Yes this!!! When I first joined my profile was so sweet and nice! I think mine maybe comes across as abrupt

I know mine does, and have received abuse for it.

But it's my profile, so the twats can jog on!"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Oh god yes

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Oh god yes "

. I won’t tell people what you’re really like. . Don’t wanna ruin your rep

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *luebell888Woman  over a year ago

Glasgowish

I have been told I come across as scary and intimidating on more than one occasion. A bit unfair to be judged by people who have never met me. My photos may be a bit full on sometimes but never judge a book by the cover.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Very much yes. I don't like the protective layer I have to wear but..I need it.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yep very much..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I definitely do, I'm very wary until I meet someone and struggle with the small talk with people I don't know, I find it awkward.

Mrs

I don’t even like adding people as a friend until I’ve met them. I send a face pic though obviously.

Yes I'm exactly the same, I think I'm more a fan of local socials where I can see people at face value, I find fab difficult, I mean it's hard to have a conversation with a profile pic that's just a vag or cock.

Mrs "

This is it.

How many people would you actually ignore/polite no at a social when possibly 3 people say hi to you versus 300 blank basic profiles that send a Dm.

Your more likely going to be the polite person you truly are compared to the ‘oh god not another one!’ people we are on here.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I have been told I come across as scary and intimidating on more than one occasion. A bit unfair to be judged by people who have never met me. My photos may be a bit full on sometimes but never judge a book by the cover."

This is true. I think you’ve probably been on here as long as me and you’ve never come across as anything but nice x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Very much yes. I don't like the protective layer I have to wear but..I need it. "

Yes! A protective layer. Or more a suit

Of armour

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Yes, I do know what you mean.

I find that I'm rather cynical these days.

My profile is deliberately vague and abrupt. It's not 'me', but I'm just irked by the crass & demanding messages.

I'm a nice person really!

Yes this!!! When I first joined my profile was so sweet and nice! I think mine maybe comes across as abrupt "

I change mine with my mood, not to avoid or attract people.

My profile is ‘ fluid’. - love this word right now

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Very much yes. I don't like the protective layer I have to wear but..I need it.

Yes! A protective layer. Or more a suit

Of armour "

Feels like a suit atm, I won't even show myself!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Yes, I do know what you mean.

I find that I'm rather cynical these days.

My profile is deliberately vague and abrupt. It's not 'me', but I'm just irked by the crass & demanding messages.

I'm a nice person really!

Yes this!!! When I first joined my profile was so sweet and nice! I think mine maybe comes across as abrupt

I change mine with my mood, not to avoid or attract people.

My profile is ‘ fluid’. - love this word right now "

I couldn’t even tell you what mine said at the moment

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Yes, I do know what you mean.

I find that I'm rather cynical these days.

My profile is deliberately vague and abrupt. It's not 'me', but I'm just irked by the crass & demanding messages.

I'm a nice person really!

Yes this!!! When I first joined my profile was so sweet and nice! I think mine maybe comes across as abrupt

I change mine with my mood, not to avoid or attract people.

My profile is ‘ fluid’. - love this word right now

I couldn’t even tell you what mine said at the moment "

Neither could I !

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Very much yes. I don't like the protective layer I have to wear but..I need it.

Yes! A protective layer. Or more a suit

Of armour

Feels like a suit atm, I won't even show myself! "

Aw. Just a temporary thing? Or just not feeling it right now?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ancer36Woman  over a year ago

Stirling

People often find my confidence intimidating and mistake it for arrogance

I’m a nice lass but I don’t mince my words - never harsh just honest but again some people take that out of context too

Everything is perceptive and it’s easy to judge especially on here. I don’t take it personally I know who I am and I don’t shy away from it xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *aulo9424Man  over a year ago

hull

ive been on here 12 years . So many fake profiles its untrue.

I dont know why people do it . It spoils the site

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *aximus74Woman  over a year ago

Manchester


"I definitely do, I'm very wary until I meet someone and struggle with the small talk with people I don't know, I find it awkward.

Mrs

I don’t even like adding people as a friend until I’ve met them. I send a face pic though obviously. "

I do this too.. but a lot don't want to know because you won't add as friends first before meeting them and then disappear in a puff of smoke.. haha.. filters the time wasters out for me anyway (most of the time)

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"People often find my confidence intimidating and mistake it for arrogance

I’m a nice lass but I don’t mince my words - never harsh just honest but again some people take that out of context too

Everything is perceptive and it’s easy to judge especially on here. I don’t take it personally I know who I am and I don’t shy away from it xx"

….I wouldn’t shy away from you

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"People often find my confidence intimidating and mistake it for arrogance

I’m a nice lass but I don’t mince my words - never harsh just honest but again some people take that out of context too

Everything is perceptive and it’s easy to judge especially on here. I don’t take it personally I know who I am and I don’t shy away from it xx"

I think I’m similar. I’m quite straight with people which some like but some maybe don’t. Also maybe a bit too honest sometimes.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *m3232Man  over a year ago

maidenhead

I assume most are fake or picture hunters and then there’s the actual attraction bit to get over. So you probably have less than a 1% chance or actually getting to the bit where you meet someone.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I definitely do, I'm very wary until I meet someone and struggle with the small talk with people I don't know, I find it awkward.

Mrs

I don’t even like adding people as a friend until I’ve met them. I send a face pic though obviously.

I do this too.. but a lot don't want to know because you won't add as friends first before meeting them and then disappear in a puff of smoke.. haha.. filters the time wasters out for me anyway (most of the time) "

True. I do send a face pic though if the conversation is likely to carry on. Just not my private pics.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Oh god yes

. I won’t tell people what you’re really like. . Don’t wanna ruin your rep "

its not that im all that grumpy im just a little nuts is all i feel guilty when i feel someone get close cos i live in the past so either that pushes em away or the fact since i took this new job i have no free time anymore so i cant put any effort into people like i did so i can only come here to laugh and do what i can to bring the light to the world its a tough job but someone has to

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I assume most are fake or picture hunters and then there’s the actual attraction bit to get over. So you probably have less than a 1% chance or actually getting to the bit where you meet someone. "

Must admit I’ve not come across many fakes. Time wasters/pic collectors yes.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Oh god yes

. I won’t tell people what you’re really like. . Don’t wanna ruin your rep its not that im all that grumpy im just a little nuts is all i feel guilty when i feel someone get close cos i live in the past so either that pushes em away or the fact since i took this new job i have no free time anymore so i cant put any effort into people like i did so i can only come here to laugh and do what i can to bring the light to the world its a tough job but someone has to "

You do it well

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

As much as im legendary at sex its probbly better that i just be here to laugh

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm an expert at keeping people at arms length - I am so cautious of sharing personal information that i seem to unintentionally create an aura of intrigue and mystery

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"As much as im legendary at sex its probbly better that i just be here to laugh "

And denying all these poor women! Shame on you!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean? "

I don't think I come across as particularly friendly, but in reality I'm quite nice

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *entlemanFoxMan  over a year ago

North East / London


"...

Yeah I think I may do too. I was chatting to a fwb yesterday and he said we all know Nora but not many people know(my real name!). And I think he’s right. "

That isn't necessarily a bad thing. 'Real Nora' has to live in the real world and deal with life's challenges and trivia. Fab Nora has a chance to express her inner thoughts and desires.

A profile has two competing functions: attract the desirable and dissuade the undesirable. If it is too much one way or the other it will not achieve the desired outcome.

I tend to be more interested in forum posters, and socials, as you get much more of a feel for a person over a long period and their true character tens to show through eventually.

I think any reasonable man appreciates the dross that single females have to deal with and allows for that.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *luebell888Woman  over a year ago

Glasgowish


"I have been told I come across as scary and intimidating on more than one occasion. A bit unfair to be judged by people who have never met me. My photos may be a bit full on sometimes but never judge a book by the cover.

This is true. I think you’ve probably been on here as long as me and you’ve never come across as anything but nice x"

Thank you.x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Maybe we all read too much into stuff. I’m trying to take things at face value until I get to meet up with them sometime. We all know personas and personality is hard to read in text.

This is why I won’t meet Dan for a beer. He’s a proper nob on here.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As much as im legendary at sex its probbly better that i just be here to laugh

And denying all these poor women! Shame on you!"

i know its like mum making a sunday roast and i only eat the meat and chuck the rest she says think of the starving folks i say i dont care i only eat meat

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *odgerMooreMan  over a year ago

Nowhere

I think people read my statuses and think oooh how awful not - how wrong!! That must be a piss take - so yes i think that and my home situation do - and if that doesn’t then a face pic normally seals the deal I am actually free to meet up for the next week as im on holiday - can’t see my inbox being inundated so may have to try ‘ talking to people in the real world’ instead

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ig_eric_tionMan  over a year ago

IPSWICH

I think I must do. I think face to to face with people on here would get a different reception. However I am told I have a rather stern look

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I hope so.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yes. I seem to do quite well at putting people off. I shower regularly though so it’s not the smell

I think I back off if someone is too keen too soon, but that is a rarity!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I think I must do. I think face to to face with people on here would get a different reception. However I am told I have a rather stern look "

You do a bit

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *m3232Man  over a year ago

maidenhead


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

I don't think I come across as particularly friendly, but in reality I'm quite nice "

Lots of people are like you. The hard bit is getting across the first hurdle where the chat starts.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Yes. I seem to do quite well at putting people off. I shower regularly though so it’s not the smell

I think I back off if someone is too keen too soon, but that is a rarity!"

Well I’m not at all keen on you.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I hope so. "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

I don't think I come across as particularly friendly, but in reality I'm quite nice "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ig_eric_tionMan  over a year ago

IPSWICH


"I think I must do. I think face to to face with people on here would get a different reception. However I am told I have a rather stern look

You do a bit "

Put people off or have a stern look?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I think I must do. I think face to to face with people on here would get a different reception. However I am told I have a rather stern look

You do a bit

Put people off or have a stern look?"

A stern look. More sexy/smouldering though. But I know what you mean.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ig_eric_tionMan  over a year ago

IPSWICH


"I think I must do. I think face to to face with people on here would get a different reception. However I am told I have a rather stern look

You do a bit

Put people off or have a stern look?

A stern look. More sexy/smouldering though. But I know what you mean. "

I'll actually take that as a compliment.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I think I must do. I think face to to face with people on here would get a different reception. However I am told I have a rather stern look

You do a bit

Put people off or have a stern look?

A stern look. More sexy/smouldering though. But I know what you mean.

I'll actually take that as a compliment. "

Haha it was one. This is what I mean. People take me the wrong way

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I hope I get a good balance on my profile but sometimes it is about the reader and their needs and interpretation so do sometimes wonder if a blank profile would do the job.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *odgerMooreMan  over a year ago

Nowhere


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean? "

Ive always found you very pleasant xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ealitybitesMan  over a year ago

Belfast

I've been accused of talking sense on here but I'm sure that puts many people off.

I don't send messages and prefer that people find me based on my profile and forum interaction,which they often do but real life hasn't been much fun this year so that probably reflects in any engagement.

My bullshit alert is finely tuned partly because of my mood and partly because of the actions of others which means I'm more guarded than normal.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *nliveneTV/TS  over a year ago

Selby

Defenitly yes

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

So here’s my problem when talking in private.

I friend zone and may come across as not interested.

Sure, I may be talking about ‘stuff’ and the daily grind that is real life. But as we are talking, I image you say I front of me, legs wide open and your hands inside your knickers.

I can put people off the idea of replying to my ‘are you in work today’ morning message

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"So here’s my problem when talking in private.

I friend zone and may come across as not interested.

Sure, I may be talking about ‘stuff’ and the daily grind that is real life. But as we are talking, I image you say I front of me, legs wide open and your hands inside your knickers.

I can put people off the idea of replying to my ‘are you in work today’ morning message "

I like talking about normal stuff though. Nothing worse than “so what are you into?” within a couple of messages. Probably doesn’t help that I’m a picky bitch and the slightest thing can put me off . I actually think this could be my issue and not anyone else’s

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Yes. I seem to do quite well at putting people off. I shower regularly though so it’s not the smell

I think I back off if someone is too keen too soon, but that is a rarity!

Well I’m not at all keen on you. "

Thanks I think

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Ive always found you very pleasant xx"

Thank you x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Yes. I seem to do quite well at putting people off. I shower regularly though so it’s not the smell

I think I back off if someone is too keen too soon, but that is a rarity!

Well I’m not at all keen on you.

Thanks I think "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So here’s my problem when talking in private.

I friend zone and may come across as not interested.

Sure, I may be talking about ‘stuff’ and the daily grind that is real life. But as we are talking, I image you say I front of me, legs wide open and your hands inside your knickers.

I can put people off the idea of replying to my ‘are you in work today’ morning message

I like talking about normal stuff though. Nothing worse than “so what are you into?” within a couple of messages. Probably doesn’t help that I’m a picky bitch and the slightest thing can put me off . I actually think this could be my issue and not anyone else’s "

You and I would get on really well …. Nothing would ever happen between us.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"So here’s my problem when talking in private.

I friend zone and may come across as not interested.

Sure, I may be talking about ‘stuff’ and the daily grind that is real life. But as we are talking, I image you say I front of me, legs wide open and your hands inside your knickers.

I can put people off the idea of replying to my ‘are you in work today’ morning message

I like talking about normal stuff though. Nothing worse than “so what are you into?” within a couple of messages. Probably doesn’t help that I’m a picky bitch and the slightest thing can put me off . I actually think this could be my issue and not anyone else’s

You and I would get on really well …. Nothing would ever happen between us. "

Hahahaha. Let’s have a night out!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Through the forum, possibly.

Through messages, likely not, or at least not aware of that.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *eliWoman  over a year ago

.

Possibly. I'm in two minds about it, part of me thinks that the right people will connect/be compatible with me as I am. And I'm fine being me, I won't be liked by everyone.

I'm not wary nor am I jaded after being on here for donkey years (eternal optimist) but it does take me a bit of time to open up to people. Even those I'm close to I tend to have some walls up.

I do think that maybe I might because I'm kind of pretentious. Bit of a know it all. Bit of a dick. Some probably read my waffle and eyeroll hard. So maybe that does? Fuck it though. I'm content.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ophieslutTV/TS  over a year ago

Central

I do put people off, as I'm selective in who I want to engage with. I'll not be perfect in this, so will deter others too, unfortunately.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean? "

Rethink this Nora. Why should you be forthcoming to a stranger ?

If you both suit each other physically arrange a social meet for small talk.

I never have used the message system to chat.

Most blokes anyway do two sentences then the rest is trying to find out if you'll fuck them.

To be fair to them why shouldn't they? It's what they signed up for.

As each and every chat with a new person is EXACTLY the same ( people who think they are scintilating and irresistably different , take the shit from your eyes ) it's impossible not to become jaded.

Just meet them if you like the look of them and don't spend time chatting to something out there in the ether.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Possibly. I'm in two minds about it, part of me thinks that the right people will connect/be compatible with me as I am. And I'm fine being me, I won't be liked by everyone.

I'm not wary nor am I jaded after being on here for donkey years (eternal optimist) but it does take me a bit of time to open up to people. Even those I'm close to I tend to have some walls up.

I do think that maybe I might because I'm kind of pretentious. Bit of a know it all. Bit of a dick. Some probably read my waffle and eyeroll hard. So maybe that does? Fuck it though. I'm content."

I like this though. Good way to think

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Possibly. I'm in two minds about it, part of me thinks that the right people will connect/be compatible with me as I am. And I'm fine being me, I won't be liked by everyone.

I'm not wary nor am I jaded after being on here for donkey years (eternal optimist) but it does take me a bit of time to open up to people. Even those I'm close to I tend to have some walls up.

I do think that maybe I might because I'm kind of pretentious. Bit of a know it all. Bit of a dick. Some probably read my waffle and eyeroll hard. So maybe that does? Fuck it though. I'm content."

I'd find it more weird if you were unnecessarily candid with strangers. Who eyeballs someone in the pub and immediately launches into their favourite sex acts and what led them there and how their dad left them when they were two ??? weird.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Rethink this Nora. Why should you be forthcoming to a stranger ?

If you both suit each other physically arrange a social meet for small talk.

I never have used the message system to chat.

Most blokes anyway do two sentences then the rest is trying to find out if you'll fuck them.

To be fair to them why shouldn't they? It's what they signed up for.

As each and every chat with a new person is EXACTLY the same ( people who think they are scintilating and irresistably different , take the shit from your eyes ) it's impossible not to become jaded.

Just meet them if you like the look of them and don't spend time chatting to something out there in the ether. "

Yeah true. If they’re not happy with the way I do things I guess they’re not for me anyway.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Possibly. I'm in two minds about it, part of me thinks that the right people will connect/be compatible with me as I am. And I'm fine being me, I won't be liked by everyone.

I'm not wary nor am I jaded after being on here for donkey years (eternal optimist) but it does take me a bit of time to open up to people. Even those I'm close to I tend to have some walls up.

I do think that maybe I might because I'm kind of pretentious. Bit of a know it all. Bit of a dick. Some probably read my waffle and eyeroll hard. So maybe that does? Fuck it though. I'm content.

I'd find it more weird if you were unnecessarily candid with strangers. Who eyeballs someone in the pub and immediately launches into their favourite sex acts and what led them there and how their dad left them when they were two ??? weird."

Exactly!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean? "

Yes most women do, but being friendly gets better results even if the men don't like it. Thing is so many of you women are rude, i think men get irritated. Women keep preaching positivity but so many are extremely rude for no reason, it's a site people connect on and the connection is sex. You'll always get a few dikeds nice or not. But you have the control so should handle things better.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *eliWoman  over a year ago

.


"Possibly. I'm in two minds about it, part of me thinks that the right people will connect/be compatible with me as I am. And I'm fine being me, I won't be liked by everyone.

I'm not wary nor am I jaded after being on here for donkey years (eternal optimist) but it does take me a bit of time to open up to people. Even those I'm close to I tend to have some walls up.

I do think that maybe I might because I'm kind of pretentious. Bit of a know it all. Bit of a dick. Some probably read my waffle and eyeroll hard. So maybe that does? Fuck it though. I'm content.

I'd find it more weird if you were unnecessarily candid with strangers. Who eyeballs someone in the pub and immediately launches into their favourite sex acts and what led them there and how their dad left them when they were two ??? weird."

Ha yes! Very very true. I find it a bit unnerving when I get a whole life story within a couple of messages. Don't get me wrong, I like openness. But it's something that develops for me.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Yes most women do, but being friendly gets better results even if the men don't like it. Thing is so many of you women are rude, i think men get irritated. Women keep preaching positivity but so many are extremely rude for no reason, it's a site people connect on and the connection is sex. You'll always get a few dikeds nice or not. But you have the control so should handle things better. "

What do you call rude though? Not answering? Actually being abusive?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

I intentionally act in a cool or aloof way to people I want to put off

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I intentionally act in a cool or aloof way to people I want to put off"

Do you think because your a mod couple it could put people off? Serious question.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I intentionally act in a cool or aloof way to people I want to put off"
aloof is such a cool sounding word

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *hitney NeilWoman  over a year ago

Hiding in a marmite jar near you.

You meany

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *hoirCouple  over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean? "

I certainly do. I'm blunt and forthcoming so it really gets the back up of weak people. P is the softness of this relationship.

C

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Unfortunately we now have a cut and paste “no thank you” message for the unverified and the new and the cock pic senders.

Can’t be arsed with them anymore.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"You meany "

. Ice queen me!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *odgerMooreMan  over a year ago

Nowhere


"I intentionally act in a cool or aloof way to people I want to put off"

Well sending me pics and saying come and get Me big boy hasnt put me off!!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Unfortunately we now have a cut and paste “no thank you” message for the unverified and the new and the cock pic senders.

Can’t be arsed with them anymore. "

Oh yeah I don’t reply to those. I mean people who seem ok and I’m happy to chat. But then maybe try and push me further than I want to go to early. For instance asking to video call, add as a friend, meet tomorrow etc.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I intentionally act in a cool or aloof way to people I want to put off

Do you think because your a mod couple it could put people off? Serious question. "

Yes

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I intentionally act in a cool or aloof way to people I want to put off aloof is such a cool sounding word "

I know it makes me think of Afghan hounds

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I intentionally act in a cool or aloof way to people I want to put off

Well sending me pics and saying come and get Me big boy hasnt put me off!!! "

What can I say, I just couldn't help myself

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan  over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

I don't think I come across as particularly friendly, but in reality I'm quite nice "

And bloody crap at answering messages too

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean? "

Ditto Xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I intentionally act in a cool or aloof way to people I want to put off

Do you think because your a mod couple it could put people off? Serious question.

Yes "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Yes most women do, but being friendly gets better results even if the men don't like it. Thing is so many of you women are rude, i think men get irritated. Women keep preaching positivity but so many are extremely rude for no reason, it's a site people connect on and the connection is sex. You'll always get a few dikeds nice or not. But you have the control so should handle things better.

What do you call rude though? Not answering? Actually being abusive?"

Not answering is rude in itself, but understandable when inundated with messages. But alot of women replies are rude and downright delusional either that or there is alot of fake profiles. Abuse is Rude im yet to experience it. But just bios don't match with the person when speaking. Blocked for no reason..haha I mean I'm blocked on accounts possibly because I'm Honest in forums.i think alot of mental health is flying around in here or fake profiles.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan  over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean? "

I've not seen your harsh side yet Nora haha

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean? "

I think after time you might learn that you need to be direct and blunt on here. And that can sometimes come across as harsh (which it is) or unfriendly (which it isn’t).

My last comment on this is that text is very hard for me to read sometimes.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

I don't think I come across as particularly friendly, but in reality I'm quite nice

And bloody crap at answering messages too "

I knowwwwww!!! (Guilty)

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *B69Woman  over a year ago

Wiltshire

I get what your saying completely, I’ve been told I’m harsh and too blunt at times but that’s not a bad thing, sometimes it’s the only thing some understand on here. I’d hope no one is offended by it but I don’t see the point in wasting anyones time.

Even reading my own post that sounds harsh

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Rethink this Nora. Why should you be forthcoming to a stranger ?

If you both suit each other physically arrange a social meet for small talk.

I never have used the message system to chat.

Most blokes anyway do two sentences then the rest is trying to find out if you'll fuck them.

To be fair to them why shouldn't they? It's what they signed up for.

As each and every chat with a new person is EXACTLY the same ( people who think they are scintilating and irresistably different , take the shit from your eyes ) it's impossible not to become jaded.

Just meet them if you like the look of them and don't spend time chatting to something out there in the ether. "

Can you please spread this logic. This is it.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ub... girlWoman  over a year ago

worcester


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean? "

Yes I do.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Rethink this Nora. Why should you be forthcoming to a stranger ?

If you both suit each other physically arrange a social meet for small talk.

I never have used the message system to chat.

Most blokes anyway do two sentences then the rest is trying to find out if you'll fuck them.

To be fair to them why shouldn't they? It's what they signed up for.

As each and every chat with a new person is EXACTLY the same ( people who think they are scintilating and irresistably different , take the shit from your eyes ) it's impossible not to become jaded.

Just meet them if you like the look of them and don't spend time chatting to something out there in the ether.

Can you please spread this logic. This is it. "

I think you may have interpreted it in your own way entirely.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *eroLondonMan  over a year ago

Mayfair

I have no inkling whatsoever what people think of me, but I expect it to be good, bad and indifferent.

In real life I'm very amiable.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

I've not seen your harsh side yet Nora haha "

Haha I don’t think I am harsh. I just think some may think I am. I think it’s a case of people get your or they don’t. I think if you didn’t know me well you may think differently?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *hiskeyColaMan  over a year ago

Oswestry

It's a constant battle in this life - just life in general - to not allow oneself to become jaded and cynical, isn't it..? Experience makes us so, specifically negative experiences, and that is why children are so full of joy - it's their unspoiled innocence just shining through! That's why I just love spending time with kids, they've got so much to teach us grown-ups!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

I've not seen your harsh side yet Nora haha

Haha I don’t think I am harsh. I just think some may think I am. I think it’s a case of people get your or they don’t. I think if you didn’t know me well you may think differently? "

Nora! Be Nora!

You seem to be succumbing to pressures for you to please others or be thought of as 'harsh' or 'off putting' ........ it may be a bit of your own psyche in there BUT your audience here is a sex thirsty male membership ... what kind of feedback or vibe can you expect ??

Don't succumb to pressure. Get up out of it. Be you.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *herryEatersCouple  over a year ago

East Cheshire


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean? "

Sometimes yes !. We first joined around 9 years ago and increasingly finding more and more timewasters and bad mannered folk on here. It does effect you yet genuine people could get to meet us if they show respect (and exist lol)

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan  over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

I don't think I come across as particularly friendly, but in reality I'm quite nice

And bloody crap at answering messages too

I knowwwwww!!! (Guilty) "

At least you admit it I suppose haha

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I intentionally act in a cool or aloof way to people I want to put off aloof is such a cool sounding word

I know it makes me think of Afghan hounds "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan  over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

I've not seen your harsh side yet Nora haha

Haha I don’t think I am harsh. I just think some may think I am. I think it’s a case of people get your or they don’t. I think if you didn’t know me well you may think differently? "

Probably

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean? "

Despite your best efforts over the years Nora, you haven’t put me off…

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

I've not seen your harsh side yet Nora haha

Haha I don’t think I am harsh. I just think some may think I am. I think it’s a case of people get your or they don’t. I think if you didn’t know me well you may think differently?

Nora! Be Nora!

You seem to be succumbing to pressures for you to please others or be thought of as 'harsh' or 'off putting' ........ it may be a bit of your own psyche in there BUT your audience here is a sex thirsty male membership ... what kind of feedback or vibe can you expect ??

Don't succumb to pressure. Get up out of it. Be you. "

Oh I am. I won’t change! Was just pondering and wondered how others felt.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Despite your best efforts over the years Nora, you haven’t put me off… "

Haha. Must try harder!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Rethink this Nora. Why should you be forthcoming to a stranger ?

If you both suit each other physically arrange a social meet for small talk.

I never have used the message system to chat.

Most blokes anyway do two sentences then the rest is trying to find out if you'll fuck them.

To be fair to them why shouldn't they? It's what they signed up for.

As each and every chat with a new person is EXACTLY the same ( people who think they are scintilating and irresistably different , take the shit from your eyes ) it's impossible not to become jaded.

Just meet them if you like the look of them and don't spend time chatting to something out there in the ether.

Can you please spread this logic. This is it.

I think you may have interpreted it in your own way entirely.

"

Well exactly what she said is it.. How can be interpreted wrong??

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean? "

Am I harsh and unfriendly?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *hiskeyColaMan  over a year ago

Oswestry


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Yes, I do know what you mean.

I find that I'm rather cynical these days.

My profile is deliberately vague and abrupt. It's not 'me', but I'm just irked by the crass & demanding messages.

I'm a nice person really!

"

Seems a shame that, Lisa. Sounds like you've rather let the knobheads you've interacted with in the past affect the way you present yourself in the present, and by extension what you are therefore likely to experience in the future..? X

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Yup. Deliberately and unapologetically.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"It's a constant battle in this life - just life in general - to not allow oneself to become jaded and cynical, isn't it..? Experience makes us so, specifically negative experiences, and that is why children are so full of joy - it's their unspoiled innocence just shining through! That's why I just love spending time with kids, they've got so much to teach us grown-ups!! "

I am very very cynical. Maybe too much so. And yeah maybe I do feel a bit bad if someone is genuine and nice and not full of bullshit but I probably come across as treating them as if they are. It would piss me off if I was a man.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ungry CatCouple  over a year ago

Belfast


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean? "

Oh 100% yes

If its not my no bullshit attitude then its our 100+ veris...

Basically I'm either a degraded slut or a bitch at first glance to majority of newbies who haven't quite learned to approach people

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Am I harsh and unfriendly?"

I think you’re very similar to me in your thinking though.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *hiskeyColaMan  over a year ago

Oswestry


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Rethink this Nora. Why should you be forthcoming to a stranger ?

If you both suit each other physically arrange a social meet for small talk.

I never have used the message system to chat.

Most blokes anyway do two sentences then the rest is trying to find out if you'll fuck them.

To be fair to them why shouldn't they? It's what they signed up for.

As each and every chat with a new person is EXACTLY the same ( people who think they are scintilating and irresistably different , take the shit from your eyes ) it's impossible not to become jaded.

Just meet them if you like the look of them and don't spend time chatting to something out there in the ether.

Can you please spread this logic. This is it.

I think you may have interpreted it in your own way entirely.

Well exactly what she said is it.. How can be interpreted wrong?? "

Yes, I would always be in favour of a physical meet asap - otherwise you are just spending precious time making nice with 'someone out there in the ether'. Then when they turn out not to be as nice in the flesh, it's just so much time wasted, leading to resentment.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Rethink this Nora. Why should you be forthcoming to a stranger ?

If you both suit each other physically arrange a social meet for small talk.

I never have used the message system to chat.

Most blokes anyway do two sentences then the rest is trying to find out if you'll fuck them.

To be fair to them why shouldn't they? It's what they signed up for.

As each and every chat with a new person is EXACTLY the same ( people who think they are scintilating and irresistably different , take the shit from your eyes ) it's impossible not to become jaded.

Just meet them if you like the look of them and don't spend time chatting to something out there in the ether.

Can you please spread this logic. This is it.

I think you may have interpreted it in your own way entirely.

Well exactly what she said is it.. How can be interpreted wrong??

Yes, I would always be in favour of a physical meet asap - otherwise you are just spending precious time making nice with 'someone out there in the ether'. Then when they turn out not to be as nice in the flesh, it's just so much time wasted, leading to resentment. "

See I don’t like to meet too soon. I can get a lot about someone from chatting.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ausage1970Man  over a year ago

Shrewsbury

[Removed by poster at 22/09/22 10:44:33]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *hiskeyColaMan  over a year ago

Oswestry


"It's a constant battle in this life - just life in general - to not allow oneself to become jaded and cynical, isn't it..? Experience makes us so, specifically negative experiences, and that is why children are so full of joy - it's their unspoiled innocence just shining through! That's why I just love spending time with kids, they've got so much to teach us grown-ups!!

I am very very cynical. Maybe too much so. And yeah maybe I do feel a bit bad if someone is genuine and nice and not full of bullshit but I probably come across as treating them as if they are. It would piss me off if I was a man. "

Try channelling your inner child a little more, Nora! Haha! That's where the joy in otherwise mundane experiences is to be found x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Despite your best efforts over the years Nora, you haven’t put me off…

Haha. Must try harder!"

Maybe I’m just too stupid? It’s funny how this thread has attracted 4 of my favourite fab women, all saying similar things. I’m not sure what that says about any of us?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Probably, but I'm OK with that. My profile isn't the most welcoming as I don't like being approached by people I'm not already aware of, I have no idea why. I just feel safer being the one to make first contact after observing someone on the forum for a while.

Being guarded is healthy and isn't synonymous with being jaded. I enjoy being open with people I trust.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ausage1970Man  over a year ago

Shrewsbury

The written word is often read out of context so people will always interpretate it depending on how they are feeling

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Rethink this Nora. Why should you be forthcoming to a stranger ?

If you both suit each other physically arrange a social meet for small talk.

I never have used the message system to chat.

Most blokes anyway do two sentences then the rest is trying to find out if you'll fuck them.

To be fair to them why shouldn't they? It's what they signed up for.

As each and every chat with a new person is EXACTLY the same ( people who think they are scintilating and irresistably different , take the shit from your eyes ) it's impossible not to become jaded.

Just meet them if you like the look of them and don't spend time chatting to something out there in the ether.

Can you please spread this logic. This is it.

I think you may have interpreted it in your own way entirely.

Well exactly what she said is it.. How can be interpreted wrong??

Yes, I would always be in favour of a physical meet asap - otherwise you are just spending precious time making nice with 'someone out there in the ether'. Then when they turn out not to be as nice in the flesh, it's just so much time wasted, leading to resentment.

See I don’t like to meet too soon. I can get a lot about someone from chatting. "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If I am being authentic then it seems inevitable. And I’m fine with that. People aren’t a buffet to pick n choose the stuff you like, they are the only kebab shop open in a rainy run down suburb of shitville. 2 hours after the pub closed. On a Wednesday.

Or (cough) yes I probably do.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Rethink this Nora. Why should you be forthcoming to a stranger ?

If you both suit each other physically arrange a social meet for small talk.

I never have used the message system to chat.

Most blokes anyway do two sentences then the rest is trying to find out if you'll fuck them.

To be fair to them why shouldn't they? It's what they signed up for.

As each and every chat with a new person is EXACTLY the same ( people who think they are scintilating and irresistably different , take the shit from your eyes ) it's impossible not to become jaded.

Just meet them if you like the look of them and don't spend time chatting to something out there in the ether.

Can you please spread this logic. This is it.

I think you may have interpreted it in your own way entirely.

Well exactly what she said is it.. How can be interpreted wrong??

Yes, I would always be in favour of a physical meet asap - otherwise you are just spending precious time making nice with 'someone out there in the ether'. Then when they turn out not to be as nice in the flesh, it's just so much time wasted, leading to resentment.

See I don’t like to meet too soon. I can get a lot about someone from chatting. "

I've never rushed meeting someone. And when I have, I've regretted it.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Despite your best efforts over the years Nora, you haven’t put me off…

Haha. Must try harder!

Maybe I’m just too stupid? It’s funny how this thread has attracted 4 of my favourite fab women, all saying similar things. I’m not sure what that says about any of us?"

To be honest I’m talking about new private messages. I find lately I chat and meet more to the men I’ve known years and years than any new people.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Rethink this Nora. Why should you be forthcoming to a stranger ?

If you both suit each other physically arrange a social meet for small talk.

I never have used the message system to chat.

Most blokes anyway do two sentences then the rest is trying to find out if you'll fuck them.

To be fair to them why shouldn't they? It's what they signed up for.

As each and every chat with a new person is EXACTLY the same ( people who think they are scintilating and irresistably different , take the shit from your eyes ) it's impossible not to become jaded.

Just meet them if you like the look of them and don't spend time chatting to something out there in the ether.

Can you please spread this logic. This is it.

I think you may have interpreted it in your own way entirely.

Well exactly what she said is it.. How can be interpreted wrong??

Yes, I would always be in favour of a physical meet asap - otherwise you are just spending precious time making nice with 'someone out there in the ether'. Then when they turn out not to be as nice in the flesh, it's just so much time wasted, leading to resentment.

See I don’t like to meet too soon. I can get a lot about someone from chatting.

"

I’d meet you granny! Tomorrow!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ora the explorer OP   Woman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"The written word is often read out of context so people will always interpretate it depending on how they are feeling "

This is also very true

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I intentionally act in a cool or aloof way to people I want to put off

Do you think because your a mod couple it could put people off? Serious question.

Yes

"

We are who we are. People are going to filter us out for all sorts of reasons.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *eliWoman  over a year ago

.


"See I don’t like to meet too soon. I can get a lot about someone from chatting.

I've never rushed meeting someone. And when I have, I've regretted it."

Same; I'm quite happy to talk for months. As an aside, I love the word zaftig. Such a beautiful word!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean? "
yes definitely know what you mean

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Probably but that won’t change how I communicate with strangers.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"See I don’t like to meet too soon. I can get a lot about someone from chatting.

I've never rushed meeting someone. And when I have, I've regretted it.

Same; I'm quite happy to talk for months. As an aside, I love the word zaftig. Such a beautiful word! "

Thank you! It's not used enough IMO.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I get called savage quite a lot and I have low tolerance for bullshit so probably!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ex HolesMan  over a year ago

Up North

As Mick Hucknell once said ‘if you don’t know me by now’

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As Mick Hucknell once said ‘if you don’t know me by now’"

I love the thought of coming home to you, even if I know we can’t make…

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Rethink this Nora. Why should you be forthcoming to a stranger ?

If you both suit each other physically arrange a social meet for small talk.

I never have used the message system to chat.

Most blokes anyway do two sentences then the rest is trying to find out if you'll fuck them.

To be fair to them why shouldn't they? It's what they signed up for.

As each and every chat with a new person is EXACTLY the same ( people who think they are scintilating and irresistably different , take the shit from your eyes ) it's impossible not to become jaded.

Just meet them if you like the look of them and don't spend time chatting to something out there in the ether.

Can you please spread this logic. This is it.

I think you may have interpreted it in your own way entirely.

Well exactly what she said is it.. How can be interpreted wrong??

Yes, I would always be in favour of a physical meet asap - otherwise you are just spending precious time making nice with 'someone out there in the ether'. Then when they turn out not to be as nice in the flesh, it's just so much time wasted, leading to resentment.

See I don’t like to meet too soon. I can get a lot about someone from chatting. "

Do you ever wonder if your not actually getting a lot from people by chatting on here?

Everyone’s different, and not everyone can communicate well through text.

When they say that verbal communication is only like 10% of an interaction or whatever, what % is text only giving you?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Rethink this Nora. Why should you be forthcoming to a stranger ?

If you both suit each other physically arrange a social meet for small talk.

I never have used the message system to chat.

Most blokes anyway do two sentences then the rest is trying to find out if you'll fuck them.

To be fair to them why shouldn't they? It's what they signed up for.

As each and every chat with a new person is EXACTLY the same ( people who think they are scintilating and irresistably different , take the shit from your eyes ) it's impossible not to become jaded.

Just meet them if you like the look of them and don't spend time chatting to something out there in the ether.

Can you please spread this logic. This is it.

I think you may have interpreted it in your own way entirely.

Well exactly what she said is it.. How can be interpreted wrong??

Yes, I would always be in favour of a physical meet asap - otherwise you are just spending precious time making nice with 'someone out there in the ether'. Then when they turn out not to be as nice in the flesh, it's just so much time wasted, leading to resentment.

See I don’t like to meet too soon. I can get a lot about someone from chatting.

Do you ever wonder if your not actually getting a lot from people by chatting on here?

Everyone’s different, and not everyone can communicate well through text.

When they say that verbal communication is only like 10% of an interaction or whatever, what % is text only giving you? "

A 20 minute social won’t give me more info than a couple of weeks of chatting. I’ve tried meeting quickly before and it doesn’t work well for me as I like to build connection. Those meets inevitably end up as failures.

My most successful meet by far was my most recent one and we exchanged many, many messages beforehand.

It’s not one size fits all!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Rethink this Nora. Why should you be forthcoming to a stranger ?

If you both suit each other physically arrange a social meet for small talk.

I never have used the message system to chat.

Most blokes anyway do two sentences then the rest is trying to find out if you'll fuck them.

To be fair to them why shouldn't they? It's what they signed up for.

As each and every chat with a new person is EXACTLY the same ( people who think they are scintilating and irresistably different , take the shit from your eyes ) it's impossible not to become jaded.

Just meet them if you like the look of them and don't spend time chatting to something out there in the ether.

Can you please spread this logic. This is it.

I think you may have interpreted it in your own way entirely.

Well exactly what she said is it.. How can be interpreted wrong??

Yes, I would always be in favour of a physical meet asap - otherwise you are just spending precious time making nice with 'someone out there in the ether'. Then when they turn out not to be as nice in the flesh, it's just so much time wasted, leading to resentment.

See I don’t like to meet too soon. I can get a lot about someone from chatting.

Do you ever wonder if your not actually getting a lot from people by chatting on here?

Everyone’s different, and not everyone can communicate well through text.

When they say that verbal communication is only like 10% of an interaction or whatever, what % is text only giving you?

A 20 minute social won’t give me more info than a couple of weeks of chatting. I’ve tried meeting quickly before and it doesn’t work well for me as I like to build connection. Those meets inevitably end up as failures.

My most successful meet by far was my most recent one and we exchanged many, many messages beforehand.

It’s not one size fits all! "

I definitely think messaging helps to build the tension and connection

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Rethink this Nora. Why should you be forthcoming to a stranger ?

If you both suit each other physically arrange a social meet for small talk.

I never have used the message system to chat.

Most blokes anyway do two sentences then the rest is trying to find out if you'll fuck them.

To be fair to them why shouldn't they? It's what they signed up for.

As each and every chat with a new person is EXACTLY the same ( people who think they are scintilating and irresistably different , take the shit from your eyes ) it's impossible not to become jaded.

Just meet them if you like the look of them and don't spend time chatting to something out there in the ether.

Can you please spread this logic. This is it.

I think you may have interpreted it in your own way entirely.

Well exactly what she said is it.. How can be interpreted wrong??

Yes, I would always be in favour of a physical meet asap - otherwise you are just spending precious time making nice with 'someone out there in the ether'. Then when they turn out not to be as nice in the flesh, it's just so much time wasted, leading to resentment.

See I don’t like to meet too soon. I can get a lot about someone from chatting.

Do you ever wonder if your not actually getting a lot from people by chatting on here?

Everyone’s different, and not everyone can communicate well through text.

When they say that verbal communication is only like 10% of an interaction or whatever, what % is text only giving you?

A 20 minute social won’t give me more info than a couple of weeks of chatting. I’ve tried meeting quickly before and it doesn’t work well for me as I like to build connection. Those meets inevitably end up as failures.

My most successful meet by far was my most recent one and we exchanged many, many messages beforehand.

It’s not one size fits all! "

How often do you chat for weeks and they go silent/ghost?

I’d feel like it’s a big waste of time personally. Especially considering how fickle I’ve found people on here to be. Most are willing to chat for weeks, even months, but disappear as soon as I suggest meeting up

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I have been told I come across as scary and intimidating on more than one occasion. A bit unfair to be judged by people who have never met me. My photos may be a bit full on sometimes but never judge a book by the cover."

Really? I found you to be friendly and not at all intimidating. I guess some people are intimidated by women who are sexually adventurous.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Probably, but we don't see it as a problem OP

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Rethink this Nora. Why should you be forthcoming to a stranger ?

If you both suit each other physically arrange a social meet for small talk.

I never have used the message system to chat.

Most blokes anyway do two sentences then the rest is trying to find out if you'll fuck them.

To be fair to them why shouldn't they? It's what they signed up for.

As each and every chat with a new person is EXACTLY the same ( people who think they are scintilating and irresistably different , take the shit from your eyes ) it's impossible not to become jaded.

Just meet them if you like the look of them and don't spend time chatting to something out there in the ether.

Can you please spread this logic. This is it.

I think you may have interpreted it in your own way entirely.

Well exactly what she said is it.. How can be interpreted wrong??

Yes, I would always be in favour of a physical meet asap - otherwise you are just spending precious time making nice with 'someone out there in the ether'. Then when they turn out not to be as nice in the flesh, it's just so much time wasted, leading to resentment.

See I don’t like to meet too soon. I can get a lot about someone from chatting.

Do you ever wonder if your not actually getting a lot from people by chatting on here?

Everyone’s different, and not everyone can communicate well through text.

When they say that verbal communication is only like 10% of an interaction or whatever, what % is text only giving you?

A 20 minute social won’t give me more info than a couple of weeks of chatting. I’ve tried meeting quickly before and it doesn’t work well for me as I like to build connection. Those meets inevitably end up as failures.

My most successful meet by far was my most recent one and we exchanged many, many messages beforehand.

It’s not one size fits all!

How often do you chat for weeks and they go silent/ghost?

I’d feel like it’s a big waste of time personally. Especially considering how fickle I’ve found people on here to be. Most are willing to chat for weeks, even months, but disappear as soon as I suggest meeting up "

I’ve never been ghosted

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Rethink this Nora. Why should you be forthcoming to a stranger ?

If you both suit each other physically arrange a social meet for small talk.

I never have used the message system to chat.

Most blokes anyway do two sentences then the rest is trying to find out if you'll fuck them.

To be fair to them why shouldn't they? It's what they signed up for.

As each and every chat with a new person is EXACTLY the same ( people who think they are scintilating and irresistably different , take the shit from your eyes ) it's impossible not to become jaded.

Just meet them if you like the look of them and don't spend time chatting to something out there in the ether.

Can you please spread this logic. This is it.

I think you may have interpreted it in your own way entirely.

Well exactly what she said is it.. How can be interpreted wrong??

Yes, I would always be in favour of a physical meet asap - otherwise you are just spending precious time making nice with 'someone out there in the ether'. Then when they turn out not to be as nice in the flesh, it's just so much time wasted, leading to resentment.

See I don’t like to meet too soon. I can get a lot about someone from chatting.

Do you ever wonder if your not actually getting a lot from people by chatting on here?

Everyone’s different, and not everyone can communicate well through text.

When they say that verbal communication is only like 10% of an interaction or whatever, what % is text only giving you?

A 20 minute social won’t give me more info than a couple of weeks of chatting. I’ve tried meeting quickly before and it doesn’t work well for me as I like to build connection. Those meets inevitably end up as failures.

My most successful meet by far was my most recent one and we exchanged many, many messages beforehand.

It’s not one size fits all!

How often do you chat for weeks and they go silent/ghost?

I’d feel like it’s a big waste of time personally. Especially considering how fickle I’ve found people on here to be. Most are willing to chat for weeks, even months, but disappear as soon as I suggest meeting up

I’ve never been ghosted "

Maybe it’s me then. That’s upsetting

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean?

Rethink this Nora. Why should you be forthcoming to a stranger ?

If you both suit each other physically arrange a social meet for small talk.

I never have used the message system to chat.

Most blokes anyway do two sentences then the rest is trying to find out if you'll fuck them.

To be fair to them why shouldn't they? It's what they signed up for.

As each and every chat with a new person is EXACTLY the same ( people who think they are scintilating and irresistably different , take the shit from your eyes ) it's impossible not to become jaded.

Just meet them if you like the look of them and don't spend time chatting to something out there in the ether.

Can you please spread this logic. This is it.

I think you may have interpreted it in your own way entirely.

Well exactly what she said is it.. How can be interpreted wrong??

Yes, I would always be in favour of a physical meet asap - otherwise you are just spending precious time making nice with 'someone out there in the ether'. Then when they turn out not to be as nice in the flesh, it's just so much time wasted, leading to resentment.

See I don’t like to meet too soon. I can get a lot about someone from chatting.

Do you ever wonder if your not actually getting a lot from people by chatting on here?

Everyone’s different, and not everyone can communicate well through text.

When they say that verbal communication is only like 10% of an interaction or whatever, what % is text only giving you?

A 20 minute social won’t give me more info than a couple of weeks of chatting. I’ve tried meeting quickly before and it doesn’t work well for me as I like to build connection. Those meets inevitably end up as failures.

My most successful meet by far was my most recent one and we exchanged many, many messages beforehand.

It’s not one size fits all!

How often do you chat for weeks and they go silent/ghost?

I’d feel like it’s a big waste of time personally. Especially considering how fickle I’ve found people on here to be. Most are willing to chat for weeks, even months, but disappear as soon as I suggest meeting up "

That's why I say fake profikes, I have messages with pic's attached from women asking to meet and then never heard from them again which I find highly weird.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Nope, I'm the same little ball of sunshine I've always been

Aww you are "

Thank you

But seriously, I hope I don't put people off. I always hyper aware of how I come across so I play it a bit safe when I first start talking to people so I make a good first impression and then slowly introduce more of my personality once I get a feel for them and what they're like. It sounds sociopathic, but it works

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *hiversMan  over a year ago

Dinas Powys


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean? "

Yup, got so sick of the nonsense that sometimes goes on that I was not only putting people off, I ended up leaving the site for a bit...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *loveturfMan  over a year ago

Your bedroom

Hopefully as if they don't hang about we're not meant to be together, let alone naked together having sex, all that time and effort should be given to someone worth it......

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Nope, I'm the same little ball of sunshine I've always been

Aww you are

Thank you

But seriously, I hope I don't put people off. I always hyper aware of how I come across so I play it a bit safe when I first start talking to people so I make a good first impression and then slowly introduce more of my personality once I get a feel for them and what they're like. It sounds sociopathic, but it works "

Good grief, sounds like boiling a frog

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *hiskeyColaMan  over a year ago

Oswestry

Addressing the initial question re allowing past negative experiences to make you come across in the present as cynical or jaded - I've read profiles on dating websites where the sole intention of the writer seems to be to put off Mr. Wrong, rather than trying to attract Mr. Right. They'll say things like:

"Before you ask: I'm fine. As a single woman I'm finding this site a little weird, yes! No I don't want to meet up after a single message!!"

It's as though they're directly addressing knobheads from their past, and that you (the new potential suitor) don't even exist to them! Incredible, really...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Previously I have spent months chatting to someone on a regular basis before contemplating a meeting. You learn a lot about a person in general conversation and have a much better idea if you will click in person. The nice thing about that was that first meeting never felt awkward. It was like seeing an old friend.

Now, I think I would still chat for a while but be happy to meet sooner if the vibe is right. It’s always a no obligation social anyway..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *etcplCouple  over a year ago

Gapping Fanny


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean? "

Possibly, but then people can misconstrue, misinterpret or otherwise misrepresent what you say or how you come across to suit their own agenda.

If people prejudge me before actually meeting or speaking with me, so be it. I am well aware of my value and won’t compromise just to try and get into someones pants.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *tew008Man  over a year ago

edinburgh

Yup, I’m good at it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ussle SproutMan  over a year ago

the middle


"Especially if you’ve been here a while and you have experienced a lot of bullshit etc. I think sometimes I’m so wary of people until I’ve met them that I maybe come across a bit harsh/unfriendly but I’m actually not. Do you know what I mean? "

This is my experience with you so I know exactly what you mean

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *eyond PurityCouple  over a year ago

Lincolnshire

We know what we want and who’s going to be compatible within a couple of messages.

If people are resistant or the conversation is hard work from the start, then we don’t waste our time.

It’s not that we are being hard nosed or thinking we are the big ‘I am’ - more that we are here to have fun and here shouldn’t feel like hard work.

K

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

  

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Pissed off a few single males and males from couples when I say I'm not into MMF and zombie roaming clubs asking to play with the Mrs when I'm just a single guy that got "lucky"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

0.3280

0