Do you know yours?
My assignment for my course for this semester involves looking at your own attachment style and reflecting on it. I’ve done a couple of online questionnaires and they both said I had almost equal parts of all four styles, not very helpful!
I guess I’ll have to move away from the pop psychology and head down the academic route for answers |
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For many years I was dismissive. I now consider myself to be secure. This would appear to contradict Bowlby's assertion that later relationships are likely to be a continuation of early attachment styles (secure and insecure). But I definitely feel differently in relationships now to when I was younger. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"For many years I was dismissive. I now consider myself to be secure. This would appear to contradict Bowlby's assertion that later relationships are likely to be a continuation of early attachment styles (secure and insecure). But I definitely feel differently in relationships now to when I was younger."
He was the first to really study and verbalise this and many (including his son) have since developed his theory.
So experience in life, growing self-awareness through a whole host of opportunities including therapy enables us to break innate, subconscious patterns and form healthier attachments as we grow older. |
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I was conditioned into Fearful Insecure at a very young age, (check out the kids list which is slightly different to adults Lou) which evolved into Dismissive Avoidant as a teen, which evolved into Secure at the age of 30 and Ive been there ever since  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I need to go and do a test....the internet is always right, right?
You need to pick a test that you think works for you. There are hundreds of them on the Web, in differing layers of accuracy "
theres tests  |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Secure - but I don’t buy the theory it’s set at an early age, I have known many people heal and change styles. I think it’s largely made up pseudo science "
It is easy to dismiss something when we don't understand it.
Somebody else said they "don't believe in it" - you don't need to believe in the work of John Bowlby. It is not about what individual people believe or dismiss, the work stands in its own right.
Attachment theories are pretty much the foundation of most modern approaches to counselling and psychotherapy. And these therapies and treatments are a huge part of helping people (old and young) with mental health issues.
Dismissing attachment issues and the therapies they underpin, is a bit like saying one does not believe in antibiotics, painkillers or physiotherapy etc. |
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