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Is sex ever only just about sex

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I wonder. There are so many aspects to sex, from the innate drive to procreate to the giving and receiving of intimacy, from pillow talk to past time...

I really think that sex is rarely just about sex... what do other people think?

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By *B9 QueenWoman  over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

At the moment for me it is just that. Sex. I am completely able to divorce any feelings from it other than having fun.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"At the moment for me it is just that. Sex. I am completely able to divorce any feelings from it other than having fun."
Yep, I can follow that to a degree. I am just wondering whether there are other factors for some of us some of the time. For example that feeling good factor for being attractive, being desired? Or the physical touch that we dont get that much in our society? Or that moment of closeness.. even if it is a one night stand?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham

i have never yet had sex with the intention of making a baby so yeah, sex can just be about sex

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple  over a year ago

in Lancashire

it changes with age and experience..

as a younger man its driven by the need to procreate, spread ones genes etc..

as experience is gained it has other facets which add and compliment it..

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By *eminiman61Man  over a year ago

mansfield

Personaly I dont just see it as sex because I prefer the intimacy involved..... But for a GG its just sex ........ Next!!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Its just sex to me

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"it changes with age and experience..

as a younger man its driven by the need to procreate, spread ones genes etc..

as experience is gained it has other facets which add and compliment it..

"

That is what I was referring to... I know we all like sex or else we would not be on the site. But there is sex and there is good sex. Now I am not talking about relationships, making babies etc... I am talking about the components of that feel good factor. Is it really just about chasing an orgasm or three or isnt it... as I believe... about a bit more than that?

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

You're in a pensive mood tonight Aphrodite.

Some people can divorce all feeling from sex but I have to at least like someone.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Personaly I dont just see it as sex because I prefer the intimacy involved..... But for a GG its just sex ........ Next!!! "

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Rarely.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Personaly I dont just see it as sex because I prefer the intimacy involved..... But for a GG its just sex ........ Next!!! "

whats a GG?

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"You're in a pensive mood tonight Aphrodite.

Some people can divorce all feeling from sex but I have to at least like someone.

"

I think ou are right, Nicecouple...

I am a bit pensive tonight and I apologise if I am making anybody feel sad or bad or guilty or whatever. Not my intention. Lets get a cake and some chocolates out...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Sex? Ah yes, I remember that.....just

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Personaly I dont just see it as sex because I prefer the intimacy involved..... But for a GG its just sex ........ Next!!!

whats a GG? "

Dont worry about that... he has got a lovely avatar and an even nicer errr... personality...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Its just sex to me "

Me too. Totally just about the next hard cock.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"You're in a pensive mood tonight Aphrodite.

Some people can divorce all feeling from sex but I have to at least like someone.

I think ou are right, Nicecouple...

I am a bit pensive tonight and I apologise if I am making anybody feel sad or bad or guilty or whatever. Not my intention. Lets get a cake and some chocolates out... "

No don't apologise I like it. No harm in cake and chocolates as well though.

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By *B9 QueenWoman  over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"At the moment for me it is just that. Sex. I am completely able to divorce any feelings from it other than having fun.Yep, I can follow that to a degree. I am just wondering whether there are other factors for some of us some of the time. For example that feeling good factor for being attractive, being desired? Or the physical touch that we dont get that much in our society? Or that moment of closeness.. even if it is a one night stand? "

I can only speak from my own perspective, and I recognise that, for others, it may well be different. However, I am nearly 50 and so have no desire to procreate. I am divorced and very very happy to be single so have no need for 'closeness' (I am not a cuddly kind of person). I already feel sexy and attractive (perhaps being a woman of my age I am recognising now that the silly, irrational worries about physical imperfections are just that - sill and irrational). So, for me, sex is all about just enjoying a bloody good shag.

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By *reelove1969Couple  over a year ago

bristol

sex is just sex .. im completely devoid of emotion but in a gud way !

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Personaly I dont just see it as sex because I prefer the intimacy involved..... But for a GG its just sex ........ Next!!!

whats a GG? Dont worry about that... he has got a lovely avatar and an even nicer errr... personality..."

Yes he does doesn't he

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I have increasingly found I am able to divorce feelings from sex. To me feelings complicate sex & result,ultimately, in me being hurt (which has happened far too often) so sex is just sex to me. That doesn't mean that I am not friends with people I have sex with but that's a totally different feeling.

Who knows, one day I may find someone who I can mix love, lust and sex together with. But for now my heart is cold & sealed off when it comes to men.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"At the moment for me it is just that. Sex. I am completely able to divorce any feelings from it other than having fun.Yep, I can follow that to a degree. I am just wondering whether there are other factors for some of us some of the time. For example that feeling good factor for being attractive, being desired? Or the physical touch that we dont get that much in our society? Or that moment of closeness.. even if it is a one night stand?

I can only speak from my own perspective, and I recognise that, for others, it may well be different. However, I am nearly 50 and so have no desire to procreate. I am divorced and very very happy to be single so have no need for 'closeness' (I am not a cuddly kind of person). I already feel sexy and attractive (perhaps being a woman of my age I am recognising now that the silly, irrational worries about physical imperfections are just that - sill and irrational). So, for me, sex is all about just enjoying a bloody good shag."

Fair comment!

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Personaly I dont just see it as sex because I prefer the intimacy involved..... But for a GG its just sex ........ Next!!!

whats a GG? Dont worry about that... he has got a lovely avatar and an even nicer errr... personality...

Yes he does doesn't he "

I can see myself getting side tracked...;-)

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"I have increasingly found I am able to divorce feelings from sex. To me feelings complicate sex & result,ultimately, in me being hurt (which has happened far too often) so sex is just sex to me. That doesn't mean that I am not friends with people I have sex with but that's a totally different feeling.

Who knows, one day I may find someone who I can mix love, lust and sex together with. But for now my heart is cold & sealed off when it comes to men. "

I can empathise with that - it is one way of protecting yourself!

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"sex is just sex .. im completely devoid of emotion but in a gud way ! "
Yep, it is possible for some and that sounds like an uncomplicated way of life!

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By *aris23Woman  over a year ago

France

It surely depends on the person you meet with? Some people invite intimacy - wittingly or unwittingly - whereas others are clearly only interested in the physical act and don't even ask your name.

Personally I dislike the latter approach and take considerable time to get to know those I wish to call 'friends'. To those I give without pressures. For some of those our meet is akin to a momentary 'relationship', for others just the opportunity to be close to another human being. However, I can also understand the animalistic need to simply get pleasure by whatever means.

It takes all sorts as they say and everyone will have an opinion based on experience of this subject.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple  over a year ago

in Lancashire


"it changes with age and experience..

as a younger man its driven by the need to procreate, spread ones genes etc..

as experience is gained it has other facets which add and compliment it..

That is what I was referring to... I know we all like sex or else we would not be on the site. But there is sex and there is good sex. Now I am not talking about relationships, making babies etc... I am talking about the components of that feel good factor. Is it really just about chasing an orgasm or three or isnt it... as I believe... about a bit more than that? "

would tend to agree that its about more than chasing an orgasm, one can do that on ones own..

speaking personally there needs to be an attraction 'beyond the physical', not saying a relationship before you have sex but more than just 'Hi, shall we'..

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"It surely depends on the person you meet with? Some people invite intimacy - wittingly or unwittingly - whereas others are clearly only interested in the physical act and don't even ask your name.

Personally I dislike the latter approach and take considerable time to get to know those I wish to call 'friends'. To those I give without pressures. For some of those our meet is akin to a momentary 'relationship', for others just the opportunity to be close to another human being. However, I can also understand the animalistic need to simply get pleasure by whatever means.

It takes all sorts as they say and everyone will have an opinion based on experience of this subject."

Could not have said that better myself!

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"it changes with age and experience..

as a younger man its driven by the need to procreate, spread ones genes etc..

as experience is gained it has other facets which add and compliment it..

That is what I was referring to... I know we all like sex or else we would not be on the site. But there is sex and there is good sex. Now I am not talking about relationships, making babies etc... I am talking about the components of that feel good factor. Is it really just about chasing an orgasm or three or isnt it... as I believe... about a bit more than that?

would tend to agree that its about more than chasing an orgasm, one can do that on ones own..

speaking personally there needs to be an attraction 'beyond the physical', not saying a relationship before you have sex but more than just 'Hi, shall we'..

"

Hey... shall we?;-)

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple  over a year ago

in Lancashire


"it changes with age and experience..

as a younger man its driven by the need to procreate, spread ones genes etc..

as experience is gained it has other facets which add and compliment it..

That is what I was referring to... I know we all like sex or else we would not be on the site. But there is sex and there is good sex. Now I am not talking about relationships, making babies etc... I am talking about the components of that feel good factor. Is it really just about chasing an orgasm or three or isnt it... as I believe... about a bit more than that?

would tend to agree that its about more than chasing an orgasm, one can do that on ones own..

speaking personally there needs to be an attraction 'beyond the physical', not saying a relationship before you have sex but more than just 'Hi, shall we'..

Hey... shall we?;-)"

well as you asked...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I have increasingly found I am able to divorce feelings from sex. To me feelings complicate sex & result,ultimately, in me being hurt (which has happened far too often) so sex is just sex to me. That doesn't mean that I am not friends with people I have sex with but that's a totally different feeling.

Who knows, one day I may find someone who I can mix love, lust and sex together with. But for now my heart is cold & sealed off when it comes to men. I can empathise with that - it is one way of protecting yourself! "

There is no one else to protect me sadly. I look out for me and look after me. It probably means I push people away, well I know it does, but who knows... one day the being hurt will stop long enough for my guard to come down. It doesn't mean I don't enjoy sex, it just means I do it emotionlessly.

For some reason this has just made me a little weepy.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

People have sex for all sorts of reasons; fun, love, babies, money, a lift home, company, boredom, horniness, desire for intimacy, to feel cool, to feel better....

I've met a few people off here and we're all here for different 'reasons'...

I think it's fascinating what drives people to do this.

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By *pecifically1Woman  over a year ago

Hull


"I wonder. There are so many aspects to sex, from the innate drive to procreate to the giving and receiving of intimacy, from pillow talk to past time...

I really think that sex is rarely just about sex... what do other people think? "

ooooh the 64 million dollar question.....nope......and especially not tonight...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I agree it isn't just about sex...although it can be NSA and just about enjoyment in the moment. I enjoy the whole experience of a meet from the flirty messages to the getting down and dirty. Without the flirtation and a little intimacy during a meet I don't think I could enjoy it x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

When I was younger I found I could have sex with anyone that wanted sex with me as I have got older I have found I am getting a bit choosier. Need to have a spark of some kind

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"When I was younger I found I could have sex with anyone that wanted sex with me as I have got older I have found I am getting a bit choosier. Need to have a spark of some kind "

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"It surely depends on the person you meet with? Some people invite intimacy - wittingly or unwittingly - whereas others are clearly only interested in the physical act and don't even ask your name.

Personally I dislike the latter approach and take considerable time to get to know those I wish to call 'friends'. To those I give without pressures. For some of those our meet is akin to a momentary 'relationship', for others just the opportunity to be close to another human being. However, I can also understand the animalistic need to simply get pleasure by whatever means.

It takes all sorts as they say and everyone will have an opinion based on experience of this subject."

Well said!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Purely recreational - like going for a swim. Effort in, enjoyment out and everyone wins

Wolf

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By *umourCouple  over a year ago

Rushden

I am really quite surprised that it is the women on here who are saying (in the main) that it is just about the sex! I was always of the opinion that women are more on the romantic side of sex rather than the need to just procreate! Surely, sex for sex sake would mean no other contact and sex without intimacy is just too cold..

That said, as a young man I used to have sex for sex sake. It was a girl, any girl and get me knob in there! All changed when I realised that it was a lot more fun to actually have some kind of "romance" as well. It didn't have to be a long drawn out affair and could last for an hour or so. It was the intimacy that made the sex more gratifying.

In our swinging life, we both love the intimacy of snogging and caressing. After the sex if it actually goes that far, we also like the the feel of all four of us just sitting/laying with the others and letting the glow settle about us..

Sex for sex sake? Not for us, thanks!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

To me, sex is a recreational activity that I enjoy from time to time.

I am not emotionally attached or dependent on my playmates.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Sex can be about showing that you care a great deal about someone, it can be about creating someone else and it can be about ones self gratification x

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"I am really quite surprised that it is the women on here who are saying (in the main) that it is just about the sex! I was always of the opinion that women are more on the romantic side of sex rather than the need to just procreate! Surely, sex for sex sake would mean no other contact and sex without intimacy is just too cold..

That said, as a young man I used to have sex for sex sake. It was a girl, any girl and get me knob in there! All changed when I realised that it was a lot more fun to actually have some kind of "romance" as well. It didn't have to be a long drawn out affair and could last for an hour or so. It was the intimacy that made the sex more gratifying.

In our swinging life, we both love the intimacy of snogging and caressing. After the sex if it actually goes that far, we also like the the feel of all four of us just sitting/laying with the others and letting the glow settle about us..

Sex for sex sake? Not for us, thanks!"

THis echoes a lot about how I feel some of the time. And then again I can also understand the occasional need for NSA without any attachment for some people.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I am really quite surprised that it is the women on here who are saying (in the main) that it is just about the sex! I was always of the opinion that women are more on the romantic side of sex rather than the need to just procreate! Surely, sex for sex sake would mean no other contact and sex without intimacy is just too cold..

That said, as a young man I used to have sex for sex sake. It was a girl, any girl and get me knob in there! All changed when I realised that it was a lot more fun to actually have some kind of "romance" as well. It didn't have to be a long drawn out affair and could last for an hour or so. It was the intimacy that made the sex more gratifying.

In our swinging life, we both love the intimacy of snogging and caressing. After the sex if it actually goes that far, we also like the the feel of all four of us just sitting/laying with the others and letting the glow settle about us..

Sex for sex sake? Not for us, thanks!"

I find your comment quite sexist. Why should women's feelings be any different than men's? Why should men be the only ones who can have NSA sex?

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

well I suppose yet again it comes down to what individuals want and prefer.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sex can be about showing that you care a great deal about someone, it can be about creating someone else and it can be about ones self gratification x "

And/or

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I am really quite surprised that it is the women on here who are saying (in the main) that it is just about the sex! I was always of the opinion that women are more on the romantic side of sex rather than the need to just procreate! Surely, sex for sex sake would mean no other contact and sex without intimacy is just too cold..

That said, as a young man I used to have sex for sex sake. It was a girl, any girl and get me knob in there! All changed when I realised that it was a lot more fun to actually have some kind of "romance" as well. It didn't have to be a long drawn out affair and could last for an hour or so. It was the intimacy that made the sex more gratifying.

In our swinging life, we both love the intimacy of snogging and caressing. After the sex if it actually goes that far, we also like the the feel of all four of us just sitting/laying with the others and letting the glow settle about us..

Sex for sex sake? Not for us, thanks!

I find your comment quite sexist. Why should women's feelings be any different than men's? Why should men be the only ones who can have NSA sex?"

The poster wasn't saying women can't have NSA sex but that his/her opinion was that women attach more importance to teh romantic aspect of sex. To be fair it is quite a widely held opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

My connection to a guy sexually tends to go to him having a hard clean cock. I don't have to fancy him. I don't want him stroking me. Cuddling me or kissing me. It's fuck or suck. Him cum and then send him on his way.

I do have a few friends but to be honest I do love the sex for the act.

Cali

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"

The poster wasn't saying women can't have NSA sex but that his/her opinion was that women attach more importance to teh romantic aspect of sex. To be fair it is quite a widely held opinion. "

TBH that is how I understood the comment... it is always the problem of written communication.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"My connection to a guy sexually tends to go to him having a hard clean cock. I don't have to fancy him. I don't want him stroking me. Cuddling me or kissing me. It's fuck or suck. Him cum and then send him on his way.

I do have a few friends but to be honest I do love the sex for the act.

Cali"

I can see that for some people it is quite a compartmentalisation - if it works for you then that is fine, I d say!

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

No strings attached does not convey no attraction attached or no intimacy attached to me.

If it was just about sex, pure and simple, then we wouldn't need avatars and profiles. I haven't used Grindr but that seems more about the simple meeting of bodies.

I like to have a moment of cuddling after as I let the aftershocks subside. It's an intimacy I want but I also know when the man I am with does not want that. It's all a negotiation.

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By *umourCouple  over a year ago

Rushden


"I find your comment quite sexist. Why should women's feelings be any different than men's? Why should men be the only ones who can have NSA sex?"

OMG!! There is always one who wants to strike a blow against sexism!!

I said "I was always of the opinion that women are more on the romantic side of sex rather than the need to just procreate!" That is not sexist in any way, it was an opinion formed from life experience and from the women I have had relationships with, including in swinging!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If sex was just sex then surely people would sleep with anyone?

Some like humiliation in the sexual act.. So does the whole bdsm of dom and sub show some inner emotion or desire dwelling?

What drives a fetish?

My fetish is young guys, and it does do wonders for my ego.. Also the older woman with younger guy makes me feel naughty.. I'm sure a shrink analising my life would discover why I may feel the need to feel naughty

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I find your comment quite sexist. Why should women's feelings be any different than men's? Why should men be the only ones who can have NSA sex?

OMG!! There is always one who wants to strike a blow against sexism!!

I said "I was always of the opinion that women are more on the romantic side of sex rather than the need to just procreate!" That is not sexist in any way, it was an opinion formed from life experience and from the women I have had relationships with, including in swinging!

"

It's just a question of misreading your post a couple of us pointed that out but no need to take a tone that does smack slightly of sexism

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

generally speaking I enjoy sex as a pastime and like any other pastime I like to be in the company of friends old or new. I dont think I can completly divorce sex from emotion though as i do need to feel a connection... a sense of team work if you like

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

But I pretty much will fuck everyone at a club. As long as hard and clean and behind me. If and when I'm looking for one on one then I need to connect.

It's all down to what you want. Most men don't object. But they do seem shocked that I don't like the intimate stuff

Cali

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I may be sad .. But I love my man on top as we Kiss and hold hands.. For me it's so deep and sexual ...I can't be like that for anyone else x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I may be sad .. But I love my man on top as we Kiss and hold hands.. For me it's so deep and sexual ...I can't be like that for anyone else x"

See that is Mmm but I'd never in a million years do that with anyone I wasn't in love with x

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By *umourCouple  over a year ago

Rushden


"No strings attached does not convey no attraction attached or no intimacy attached to me.

If it was just about sex, pure and simple, then we wouldn't need avatars and profiles. I haven't used Grindr but that seems more about the simple meeting of bodies.

I like to have a moment of cuddling after as I let the aftershocks subside. It's an intimacy I want but I also know when the man I am with does not want that. It's all a negotiation."

I can see where you are with this and I believe that NSA sex is not "sex for sex sake". Young men (and I have now been led to believe young GIRLS) tend to have sex for sex sake without intimacy, but sadly I never found any girls like that! (and I did look )

If you are having the intimacy either before, after or both, I don't class that as sex for sex sake. Just my opinion as always

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think the OP asked a very interesting question!! x

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

I think this thread shows that here are myriad reasons why we have sex and long may that last

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

OMG!! There is always one who wants to strike a blow against sexism!!

"

I stand by my comment. My point was why shouldn't women & men have the same feelings. I personally block feelings and sex completely. But there could be a man who can't do that.

I'm not "striking a blow" I'm just saying how I interpreted your comment. I dint intend to offend you.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I think the OP asked a very interesting question!! x "

Me too and I wish I could think of equally interesting ones

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

With partner it's intimate, with others it's just sex

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

whenever i meet my ex for sex it means alot to me and i enjoy it lots the passion just everything about it.

but when i meet a one nighter its just a shag.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman  over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I can have NSA sex... I can also have meaningful sex...I think I have found both with a man I have met... we get on we have a laugh and we have sex... Its nice sex its not emotionless but its not to the degree we are "making love" as we are not in that type of relationship....

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By *iBlondiWoman  over a year ago

North Cornwall

I like some intimacy but it doesn't need to be a long thing, cuddling after sex whilst you recover then off again!

I need to fancy the person, otherwise where's the buzz?

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By *iewMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

It is only ever just sex

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think if you get an emotional connection with a partner the sex is always better, more fun and more satisfying. This can be in a one off or regular scene.

Moresomes and role play are very different as its the "fanatsy" thats the thrill.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

For me it is not just about sex.

Obviously sex with my partner is not comparable to swinging sex.

The reason I swing is because I'm an exhibitionist, I want to push boundaries, I'm excited about having a secret life. The fact I have a secret life makes me feel a strange sort of power, an additional complex part of my personality. Swinging is an arena for me to explore those taboo activities that I've secretly wanted to become a part of, even just in a voyeuristic way.

So swinging is certainly not just about sex for me, I have great sex with my partner so I don't need others to fulfil that for me. Its more to do with me and what I've described above

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By *eminiman61Man  over a year ago

mansfield

Ive got a more important question sexy lady........ Have you got any of those chocolates left and if so can I share?

Which ones are your favourites? Xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I agree it isn't just about sex...although it can be NSA and just about enjoyment in the moment. I enjoy the whole experience of a meet from the flirty messages to the getting down and dirty. Without the flirtation and a little intimacy during a meet I don't think I could enjoy it x"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

some woman i have met from this site and spent a lovely weekend with in a hotel.

dinner,drinks the works and some have become very good friends as a result.

all know what we are here for but with some people unhurried meet works for both.

others want wham,bam see you later lol.

each experience is different,enjoyable and fun.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The only time I've enjoyed sex without that spark of connection has been in clubs in a group setting. But that's a different dynamic entirely to one on one.

I'd agree with an earlier post that as a younger man "any hole was a goal" but definitely not now. If the person does not attract me in any way then it won't happen. I don't mean that it has to be a person I could see myself in a relationship with, but I need to be able to at least have a conversation with them.

But as I said earlier, in a club I'd do anyone as long as they're clean and I get what I want.

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By *enuineplayers plus 1Couple  over a year ago

newport

Absolutely not just about sex. The whole experience needs to be right. The meet, atmosphere and the situation. No point in doing it just for the sake of it. Been with couples and had the most wonderful vanilla nights where we thought it might happen but also had arranged vanilla nights and it has happened, we have found these nights to have been fantastic.

So really what we say is 'there's no point in doing it just for sake of it'

If your going out to meet people just for a shag I think you need to be looking at your inner self to see what's wrong

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"At the moment for me it is just that. Sex. I am completely able to divorce any feelings from it other than having fun."

This is something I've never been able to do , I always get involved with the person, I've never had a lot of sexual parteners , I tend to stay in touch .

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Its just sex to me

Me too. Totally just about the next hard cock."

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Its just sex to me

Me too. Totally just about the next hard cock."

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"At the moment for me it is just that. Sex. I am completely able to divorce any feelings from it other than having fun.Yep, I can follow that to a degree. I am just wondering whether there are other factors for some of us some of the time. For example that feeling good factor for being attractive, being desired? Or the physical touch that we dont get that much in our society? Or that moment of closeness.. even if it is a one night stand? "

Oh yes, got to feel that passion of desire and, yes yes yes to the physical touch, being touched and touching bare skin mmmmmmmmm

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

If your going out to meet people just for a shag I think you need to be looking at your inner self to see what's wrong"

Looked at my inner self and nothing wrong. I just don't need attraction or anything other than a hard cock to satisfy what I want. I don't need to connect with someone. It's just a fuck. I just know what I like and to be honest I'm just as happy with just giving oral sex and not being touched myself. As its the cum I'm after.

It obviously wouldn't work for you like that but for me it does. I am actually happier now with my sexual choices as I have ever been

Cali

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If sex was just sex then surely people would sleep with anyone?

Some like humiliation in the sexual act.. So does the whole bdsm of dom and sub show some inner emotion or desire dwelling?

What drives a fetish?

My fetish is young guys, and it does do wonders for my ego.. Also the older woman with younger guy makes me feel naughty.. I'm sure a shrink analising my life would discover why I may feel the need to feel naughty "

Cos it's nice - no charge

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Its not just women ......

Tiger n I enjoy talking afters and I am quite shocked as to just how many ladies are quite passive. He is sometimes disappointed as, like me, he enjoys the passion.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm never passive but it is just sex for me. I will kiss sometimes if I fancy the guy if I think it will hurry him up. I will touch but prefer not to.

My need is portrayed and most people find me intense

I think it's all about finding people that want the same things as you x

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By *ola cubesMan  over a year ago

coatbridge

never about just sex for me got to like the person be able to laugh and feel comfortable with them

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm probably not your average swinger so what I think probably doesn't count!

But I much prefer more than just sex, cos there's more than 'just sex' missing in my real life.

But having said that, I don't currently have any plans to disappear off into the sunset with anyone!

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I am quite possibly not your average swinger either, in fact sometimes I wonder whether I am aswinger at all or not just somebody who enjoys meeting people with the occasional added benefit of having sex.

I totally get people who just want the "next hard cock" as Cali put it. Nothing wrong with that if that is what you need at that moment in time. Lets face it if you are craving chocolate, then chocolate is what you want, not wrapping paper, nice trimmings or even cakes and biscuits.

I guess I could do that and even enjoy it within its limitations. I would just prefer some kind of a rapport with that person as otherwise it would feel a bit like I am playing with an animated dildo.

Hey horses for courses...

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By *oodmessMan  over a year ago

yumsville

[Removed by poster at 03/12/12 12:14:41]

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By *oodmessMan  over a year ago

yumsville

"I think this thread shows that here are myriad reasons why we have sex and long may that last "

I think most are saying they dont need the possibility of a marriage proposal to enjoy good sex.

NSA is that - theres no need to read any more into it.

Most of the replies suggest that so long as there was a mutual attraction then 'its just about a good fuck'.

Which - as far as a swingers sit at least.. is why we enjoy swinging.

We are not out to pull or looking for something more than the satisfaction from having our needs served

Obviously there are people on here though, that are looking for long term relationships/partners. Though if not, emotions would just get in the way of an orgasm Id think

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It depends on who, where, what mood last one being the biggest variable

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By *nvictusMan  over a year ago

Beeston

Well assuming the question is about just swinging sex and not within a relationship here's my take:

Some of my meets are pretty much just about the sex, typically (but not always) those with couples or club meets.

Some are a bit more, the friendship and companionship of the meet is all a part of it too.

Some meets have been all about seduction, passion and lust as well as intimate one on one sex. I prefer this kind of meet myself, the sex is simply the high point of the whole encounter.

It's a complex issue really, all meets are different and they often fulfill other needs as well as just the sex.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Monday 3rd Dec

Just picked up on this one and not read all off the replies.....

Last time i raised something similar i was shot down in flames for dare thinking that whilst we might meet people off here to ultimately have sex; its ok to respect them and care for them and dare i say it become good close friends...

i am fortunate to know a few couples; i have no interest in trying to steal the guys missues; but that doesn't mean we all three cant become close friends...

Moaning/Ranty/Getting of Chesty done

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

This thread has made me think whether forming some friendships on here (forum, personal messages, meeting and getting to know people) now means that sex is not possible. Knowing about people adds strings of a sort.

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By *msmithWoman  over a year ago

bristol

i came here thinking i'm going to make sex just sex.. but soon realise just sex is boring.. its mechanical.. there are even some 'just sex' that is so bad, i can do better with a banana..

then i had meets with socials and flirtings and teasing which led up to the sex, which was amazing times..

i'm not looking for anything long term, but i think we all can flirt and tease without the prospect of anything more..

and thus, i have come to the conclusion, that my way of swinging as a single girl is like having few friends with benefit.. fuck buddy sounds a bit crude and mechanical..i like the getting to know people and getting to know what they like and dont like (about sex or anything else).. doesnt mean i want anything more than them..

so far, there's only been one guy that i would think of something more.. just because he is very good at giving me what i want.. in bed/chair/car/wherever..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

theres a variety of types of meet isnt there?-so its an entirely variable question.

We pass adice to lots on the forums regarding what their profile should entail at times..ie smart sounding profiles etcetc...when its really about what the person is looking for in question, or what others are looking for.

sometimes thats a quick fuck with nothing much else, or a nice nite of fun,passion and probable sex..and amazingly some can mix these occasions with different partners.

probably a reason why I dont like the judgments on crap spellers,text speakers etc-they will still attract a certain amount of people..regardless on the 'quality' of the profile.Its perhaps a bit different when they come asking for help on a profile.

For me, I prefer some interaction on my meets, of a sociable nature, as it eases me to know they like me as a person..but who I meet isnt always based on them being an ideal partner , its mostly them being a compatible fuck.

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"i came here thinking i'm going to make sex just sex.. but soon realise just sex is boring.. its mechanical.. there are even some 'just sex' that is so bad, i can do better with a banana..

then i had meets with socials and flirtings and teasing which led up to the sex, which was amazing times..

i'm not looking for anything long term, but i think we all can flirt and tease without the prospect of anything more..

and thus, i have come to the conclusion, that my way of swinging as a single girl is like having few friends with benefit.. fuck buddy sounds a bit crude and mechanical..i like the getting to know people and getting to know what they like and dont like (about sex or anything else).. doesnt mean i want anything more than them..

so far, there's only been one guy that i would think of something more.. just because he is very good at giving me what i want.. in bed/chair/car/wherever..

"

Flirting and teasing without strings is especially good. Keep on enjoying your way of doing things.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman  over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I have played in a club and never seen that person again...i have had repeated meets....i would like to think with the repeated meets i would like some form of attraction...

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


""I think this thread shows that here are myriad reasons why we have sex and long may that last "

I think most are saying they dont need the possibility of a marriage proposal to enjoy good sex.

NSA is that - theres no need to read any more into it.

Most of the replies suggest that so long as there was a mutual attraction then 'its just about a good fuck'.

Which - as far as a swingers sit at least.. is why we enjoy swinging.

We are not out to pull or looking for something more than the satisfaction from having our needs served

Obviously there are people on here though, that are looking for long term relationships/partners. Though if not, emotions would just get in the way of an orgasm Id think "

I was also thinking of NSA...and not about long term relationships, just to clarify that point. Within the NSA sex.. I wondered whether there was more to sex than just a dick and fanny. What I am reading from people's responses is this : Some are happy to just treat it as a momentary pleasure and the chase of one or several orgasms, fine in my books. Others, the majority in fact see other things as components to enjoyable NSA sex.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Well assuming the question is about just swinging sex and not within a relationship here's my take:

Some of my meets are pretty much just about the sex, typically (but not always) those with couples or club meets.

Some are a bit more, the friendship and companionship of the meet is all a part of it too.

Some meets have been all about seduction, passion and lust as well as intimate one on one sex. I prefer this kind of meet myself, the sex is simply the high point of the whole encounter.

It's a complex issue really, all meets are different and they often fulfill other needs as well as just the sex. "

Well said

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


""I think this thread shows that here are myriad reasons why we have sex and long may that last "

I think most are saying they dont need the possibility of a marriage proposal to enjoy good sex.

NSA is that - theres no need to read any more into it.

Most of the replies suggest that so long as there was a mutual attraction then 'its just about a good fuck'.

Which - as far as a swingers sit at least.. is why we enjoy swinging.

We are not out to pull or looking for something more than the satisfaction from having our needs served

Obviously there are people on here though, that are looking for long term relationships/partners. Though if not, emotions would just get in the way of an orgasm Id think

I was also thinking of NSA...and not about long term relationships, just to clarify that point. Within the NSA sex.. I wondered whether there was more to sex than just a dick and fanny. What I am reading from people's responses is this : Some are happy to just treat it as a momentary pleasure and the chase of one or several orgasms, fine in my books. Others, the majority in fact see other things as components to enjoyable NSA sex. "

I mostly change who I'm with and of course it can be about the duration of a meet...if its on the cards sex and we have an 1hr theres only so much thats needed for the 'extra spark'.

If I'm meeting a couple, or its group based fun..theres different levels of what that meet could be.it could be a simple case of in and out cheerio.It could be lets all have a laugh and have sex.

If its a 1on1 meet thats overnite lets say...it can be filled with lots of things..and wont be essentially based on sex

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"This thread has made me think whether forming some friendships on here (forum, personal messages, meeting and getting to know people) now means that sex is not possible. Knowing about people adds strings of a sort."

Bingo - I have been through this process and I have met people whom I liked and wanted as friends but the chemistry was not quite there. I have also met people at parties, several times and the opportunity to play did not arise somehow. As we got to know each other more closely... the sexual aspect, component under which we had met beforehand simply was not there anymore. In both cases I gained a friend not a sexual partner.

Then again I have also played with people, became friends with them over time and we continue to play when we meet.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


" i have come to the conclusion, that my way of swinging as a single girl is like having few friends with benefit.. fuck buddy sounds a bit crude and mechanical..i like the getting to know people and getting to know what they like and dont like (about sex or anything else).. doesnt mean i want anything more than them..

"

Seconded

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"

For me, I prefer some interaction on my meets, of a sociable nature, as it eases me to know they like me as a person..but who I meet isnt always based on them being an ideal partner , its mostly them being a compatible fuck."

Can subscribe to that as well!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I suppose its one thing my profile doesnt reflect..however thats up to whoevers _iewing to communicate with really.

I've friends I'd go visit or likewise...we can sit watch films have a drink..the idea of having sex might have been the reason meeting up..but there is a companionship element.

thats why I hate the _iew that singles are after just NSA sex and dont understand that how to 'share'- my meets can be no different to a cpl meeting another cpl for a dinner and drink(and who knows)(and it doesnt have to be in a socialpublic setting).I've had a cpl of admittedly rare meets where I've got on great but they felt there was no attraction sexually..I'm quite capable of taking that as not a rejection but a preference...and still managed to have a fun nite....despite being relegated to one half of the bed...or the couch lol

its unlikely u'll see that on my profile in picture form.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"I suppose its one thing my profile doesnt reflect..however thats up to whoevers _iewing to communicate with really.

I've friends I'd go visit or likewise...we can sit watch films have a drink..the idea of having sex might have been the reason meeting up..but there is a companionship element.

thats why I hate the _iew that singles are after just NSA sex and dont understand that how to 'share'- my meets can be no different to a cpl meeting another cpl for a dinner and drink(and who knows)(and it doesnt have to be in a socialpublic setting).I've had a cpl of admittedly rare meets where I've got on great but they felt there was no attraction sexually..I'm quite capable of taking that as not a rejection but a preference...and still managed to have a fun nite....despite being relegated to one half of the bed...or the couch lol

its unlikely u'll see that on my profile in picture form."

Absolutely makes sense to me. And that is btw why I dislike one liner profiles - they tell me nothing about the person! Your profile may not reflect all of what you are.. but it does tell me quite a lot

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I suppose its one thing my profile doesnt reflect..however thats up to whoevers _iewing to communicate with really.

I've friends I'd go visit or likewise...we can sit watch films have a drink..the idea of having sex might have been the reason meeting up..but there is a companionship element.

thats why I hate the _iew that singles are after just NSA sex and dont understand that how to 'share'- my meets can be no different to a cpl meeting another cpl for a dinner and drink(and who knows)(and it doesnt have to be in a socialpublic setting).I've had a cpl of admittedly rare meets where I've got on great but they felt there was no attraction sexually..I'm quite capable of taking that as not a rejection but a preference...and still managed to have a fun nite....despite being relegated to one half of the bed...or the couch lol

its unlikely u'll see that on my profile in picture form.

Absolutely makes sense to me. And that is btw why I dislike one liner profiles - they tell me nothing about the person! Your profile may not reflect all of what you are.. but it does tell me quite a lot "

just admit ur fannys soaking ffs...tired of these games...u want ridden..get in touch !!!

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"I suppose its one thing my profile doesnt reflect..however thats up to whoevers _iewing to communicate with really.

I've friends I'd go visit or likewise...we can sit watch films have a drink..the idea of having sex might have been the reason meeting up..but there is a companionship element.

thats why I hate the _iew that singles are after just NSA sex and dont understand that how to 'share'- my meets can be no different to a cpl meeting another cpl for a dinner and drink(and who knows)(and it doesnt have to be in a socialpublic setting).I've had a cpl of admittedly rare meets where I've got on great but they felt there was no attraction sexually..I'm quite capable of taking that as not a rejection but a preference...and still managed to have a fun nite....despite being relegated to one half of the bed...or the couch lol

its unlikely u'll see that on my profile in picture form.

Absolutely makes sense to me. And that is btw why I dislike one liner profiles - they tell me nothing about the person! Your profile may not reflect all of what you are.. but it does tell me quite a lot

just admit ur fannys soaking ffs...tired of these games...u want ridden..get in touch !!! "

omg I only just saw this... yeah That is what I am reading between the lines... on my way right NOW

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Sex can just be sex

How and why we crave that sort of sex is wholly different matter !

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By *etillanteWoman  over a year ago

.


"Sex can just be sex

How and why we crave that sort of sex is wholly different matter !"

Scone sex?

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Sex can just be sex

How and why we crave that sort of sex is wholly different matter !"

So what you are saying is that you are splitting the sex act from the rest of the encounter, the chatting, flirting, socialising etc? I guess if you do that then sex really can be just sex

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sex can just be sex

How and why we crave that sort of sex is wholly different matter !

Scone sex? "

Don't be crumby

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Sex can just be sex

How and why we crave that sort of sex is wholly different matter !

Scone sex? "

Scone sex?

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By *etillanteWoman  over a year ago

.


"Sex can just be sex

How and why we crave that sort of sex is wholly different matter !

Scone sex?

Scone sex? "

Don;t knock it till you've tried it, Bussy is an expert

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Sex can just be sex

How and why we crave that sort of sex is wholly different matter !

Scone sex?

Don't be crumby "

Apparently you are an expert at scone sex... would you be prepared to elaborate a tiny bit?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sex can just be sex

How and why we crave that sort of sex is wholly different matter !So what you are saying is that you are splitting the sex act from the rest of the encounter, the chatting, flirting, socialising etc? I guess if you do that then sex really can be just sex"

It's all down to what you want out of the experience I guess.

I don't need the prior interaction to have sex with someone and to that end any decision to meet often comes down to physical attraction on my part.

I understand and respect that, for many, this is not the case and the run up to a meet is often very important.

What I meant by my initial comment was what makes us want 'recreational' sex as opposed to the closeness / bonding of sex with a regular partner.

Why do some people crave one type and why do others seek one over the other.

So sex may just be sex - but what is the trigger mechanism in both participants that make them want just that ?

To that end, sex for the sakes of it can rung deeper than 'just because it feels good'

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

* rung = run

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By *mileyBWoman  over a year ago

Northwood

Never ever just about the sex.

It's about intimacy and a connection, and fun, and finding things out about myself and who I'm with, conversation and understanding and talking about all the other stuff that makes us people and not just fucking machines.

Doesn't mean I'm a bunny boiler or a psycho chic that's gonna run off and get married ... just need more than a fuck. In out, in out, in out, oh yeah riveting!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I recently had sex just for the sake of the urge and to tell the truth i didn't enjoy it! Much rather know a little about the person first now,whether its a one nite stand or something more regular.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Never ever just about the sex.

It's about intimacy and a connection, and fun, and finding things out about myself and who I'm with, conversation and understanding and talking about all the other stuff that makes us people and not just fucking machines.

Doesn't mean I'm a bunny boiler or a psycho chic that's gonna run off and get married ... just need more than a fuck. In out, in out, in out, oh yeah riveting!

"

And having sex with the same person on several occasions still does not mean you want a full blown relationship, does it...

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By *nvictusMan  over a year ago

Beeston

Talking perfect ideal world here:

...what I would really like is to meet a lady I'm completely attracted to who wanted a kind of 'relationship lite' scenario.

A bit more than just friends with benifits but still not a full blown relationship with the bagage and complications that can bring. So we would be happy spending the day or weekend together, not just in bed but out enjoying each others company as well. A relationship where there was a little bit of romance amoungst the lust, with a great friendship as it's core.

...but then I always was a dreamer

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

what is sex?

and where do i get it?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Never ever just about the sex.

It's about intimacy and a connection, and fun, and finding things out about myself and who I'm with, conversation and understanding and talking about all the other stuff that makes us people and not just fucking machines.

Doesn't mean I'm a bunny boiler or a psycho chic that's gonna run off and get married ... just need more than a fuck. In out, in out, in out, oh yeah riveting!

And having sex with the same person on several occasions still does not mean you want a full blown relationship, does it..."

no it doesn't as long as both of you know the score

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Never ever just about the sex.

It's about intimacy and a connection, and fun, and finding things out about myself and who I'm with, conversation and understanding and talking about all the other stuff that makes us people and not just fucking machines.

Doesn't mean I'm a bunny boiler or a psycho chic that's gonna run off and get married ... just need more than a fuck. In out, in out, in out, oh yeah riveting!

And having sex with the same person on several occasions still does not mean you want a full blown relationship, does it..."

No but it means you want more than a shag but depends on how your emotions want to take it and if u are ready for a relationship. However saying that you are in a kind of relationahip not a conventional one that's all xx

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Invictus, Parider, Oaty and Vanguard - you seem to be saying that you like the idea of what I sometimes call an "outpatient" relationship?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Invictus, Parider, Oaty and Vanguard - you seem to be saying that you like the idea of what I sometimes call an "outpatient" relationship? "

here! what you saying lol

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By *londeCazWoman  over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria


"This thread has made me think whether forming some friendships on here (forum, personal messages, meeting and getting to know people) now means that sex is not possible. Knowing about people adds strings of a sort."

I said on a thread t'other week that in some cases some forumites feel a bit like family so it'd be weird to have sex with them (not totally discounting it, I am Cumbrian... )...having read the entire thread I now can't be arsed to go back up and quote all the comments I agree with so I'll just put my tuppennorth in...

I have repeat meets with 3 or 4 different guys where we overnight together for parties, clubs or 1:1s - we get on like a house on fire, have great fun, conversations and amazing sex, tender cuddles, laughs, more sex (you get the idea...) At parties and clubs I've sometimes had no clue who was fucking or licking me - it's purely been animalistic sex, but amazing just the same. I've also had one off meets where we've chatted, fucked, had a brew and he or I have then left - also great.

There's never been a desire for procreation for me, I'm child free by choice so that's never been an issue - I feel about the best I ever have about myself at this moment in time and I truly believe that's because I've accepted that I'm a person (well 3 if you count Daz and Taz) who doesn't fit into the "norms" regarding sex. This is me, like it or lump it (and I pretty much like it)

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Invictus, Parider, Oaty and Vanguard - you seem to be saying that you like the idea of what I sometimes call an "outpatient" relationship?

here! what you saying lol"

lol.. it is what I refer to as a "relationship" where people dont actually live together but spend a fair amount of time together, not just having sex but also sharing some interests and being friends without the feeling of claustrophobia that some people feel in conventional relationships?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Invictus, Parider, Oaty and Vanguard - you seem to be saying that you like the idea of what I sometimes call an "outpatient" relationship?

here! what you saying lol

lol.. it is what I refer to as a "relationship" where people dont actually live together but spend a fair amount of time together, not just having sex but also sharing some interests and being friends without the feeling of claustrophobia that some people feel in conventional relationships? "

oh right.that.

well i suppose if it means you have sex then you got to put up with some things.

i suppose

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Invictus i think you might have hit the nail on the head! Amazing!!!! Lol

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By *nvictusMan  over a year ago

Beeston


"Invictus i think you might have hit the nail on the head! Amazing!!!! Lol "

Shame were not gay Oaty

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Invictus i think you might have hit the nail on the head! Amazing!!!! Lol

Shame were not gay Oaty "

ha ha yes it is!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

for us blokes it can be

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By *msmithWoman  over a year ago

bristol

if the sex is REALLY good, then i dont mind just sex.. and so far, there's only been a handful of guys who can give me that.. and they usually like to meet socially..

if the sex is mediocre.. then i think guys should make up for it with the social bits and the cuddling bits..

(yes, some girls can have cuddles without expecting a diamond ring and a proposal) (i hate it when guys seem to think they shouldnt give cuddles because then the girl might get attached)

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Talking perfect ideal world here:

...what I would really like is to meet a lady I'm completely attracted to who wanted a kind of 'relationship lite' scenario.

A bit more than just friends with benifits but still not a full blown relationship with the bagage and complications that can bring. So we would be happy spending the day or weekend together, not just in bed but out enjoying each others company as well. A relationship where there was a little bit of romance amoungst the lust, with a great friendship as it's core.

...but then I always was a dreamer "

I would like this too but with the added, and sometimes other people too.

I think if this had been posted by a woman there might have been distrust as to her true motives: a belief that she MUST want MORE!

I found swinging more enjoyable when I had a partner to share it with. We saw people together and we saw them separately but I knew I had someone with whom I could discuss and share my experience. I don't want anyone to live with me but I would like to be able to call someone and say let's have dinner. I would like to be able to ask someone to sometimes choose my meets for me.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"

I would like to be able to ask someone to sometimes choose my meets for me."

That, I agree is a really pleasureable experience, especially when it is done in a way so that it comes as a "surprise".

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By *imjohnCouple  over a year ago

Clacton on sea, Essex

It can be a power thing as well as sexual, looking into 10 guys eyes knowing you are going to suck them all off at a bukkake party is horny & a power trip all in one.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think I am a little of both, depending on who I am with and the intention...

Sometimes I like to get to know the men I am going to be initmate with, other times I know I have not known names even .... we are all different and have different needs at different times.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Talking perfect ideal world here:

...what I would really like is to meet a lady I'm completely attracted to who wanted a kind of 'relationship lite' scenario.

A bit more than just friends with benifits but still not a full blown relationship with the bagage and complications that can bring. So we would be happy spending the day or weekend together, not just in bed but out enjoying each others company as well. A relationship where there was a little bit of romance amoungst the lust, with a great friendship as it's core.

...but then I always was a dreamer "

Why should it only be a dream?

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By *isscheekychopsWoman  over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Talking perfect ideal world here:

...what I would really like is to meet a lady I'm completely attracted to who wanted a kind of 'relationship lite' scenario.

A bit more than just friends with benifits but still not a full blown relationship with the bagage and complications that can bring. So we would be happy spending the day or weekend together, not just in bed but out enjoying each others company as well. A relationship where there was a little bit of romance amoungst the lust, with a great friendship as it's core.

...but then I always was a dreamer "

That is sooooooooooooooo what I want you have summed it up for me...

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Talking perfect ideal world here:

...what I would really like is to meet a lady I'm completely attracted to who wanted a kind of 'relationship lite' scenario.

A bit more than just friends with benifits but still not a full blown relationship with the bagage and complications that can bring. So we would be happy spending the day or weekend together, not just in bed but out enjoying each others company as well. A relationship where there was a little bit of romance amoungst the lust, with a great friendship as it's core.

...but then I always was a dreamer

That is sooooooooooooooo what I want you have summed it up for me... "

We need a new web-site: Swing/relationship Lite. Hmmm needs a better name than that.

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By *iewMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

I must be a very bad man as I have met people in clubs, saunas & cruising areas that I have approached, unzipped and sucked... no connection, no words exchanged I just jizzed my load over their face and left.....

and in dark rooms..... fuck knows who they were

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By *he_original_poloWoman  over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I've had great sex with people I have known for years... some that I have been shagging for years.

I have had mind blowing sex with people when I didn't even know their name.

I have had some pretty awesome horny as fuck WOW sex with people I wouldn't recognise if I was sat next to them 10 minutes later.

I enjoy... and I mean ENJOY sex. I do not need a pseudo-relationship to gain both physical and mental pleasure.

It is what it is.

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I must be a very bad man as I have met people in clubs, saunas & cruising areas that I have approached, unzipped and sucked... no connection, no words exchanged I just jizzed my load over their face and left.....

and in dark rooms..... fuck knows who they were"

I'm a bad woman then - the last time I was at a club I didn't know who was playing with me. Is it wrong that I enjoyed it?

As has been said, it is possible to have and enjoy lots of different 'relationship' statuses for sex.

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I've had great sex with people I have known for years... some that I have been shagging for years.

I have had mind blowing sex with people when I didn't even know their name.

I have had some pretty awesome horny as fuck WOW sex with people I wouldn't recognise if I was sat next to them 10 minutes later.

I enjoy... and I mean ENJOY sex. I do not need a pseudo-relationship to gain both physical and mental pleasure.

It is what it is."

You are not have pseudo-relationship with anyone. You have friendships that include sex. You have sexual moments that include other people. It may not be a standard definition of relationship but the moment of connection is that relationship for that moment.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Talking perfect ideal world here:

...what I would really like is to meet a lady I'm completely attracted to who wanted a kind of 'relationship lite' scenario.

A bit more than just friends with benifits but still not a full blown relationship with the bagage and complications that can bring. So we would be happy spending the day or weekend together, not just in bed but out enjoying each others company as well. A relationship where there was a little bit of romance amoungst the lust, with a great friendship as it's core.

...but then I always was a dreamer "

This. Exactly. I think I've found it, but it's early days. So hope it lasts.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

sex is all about mental stimulation, if you are inside someones mind every other stimulation just falls into place.

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By *he_original_poloWoman  over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"I've had great sex with people I have known for years... some that I have been shagging for years.

I have had mind blowing sex with people when I didn't even know their name.

I have had some pretty awesome horny as fuck WOW sex with people I wouldn't recognise if I was sat next to them 10 minutes later.

I enjoy... and I mean ENJOY sex. I do not need a pseudo-relationship to gain both physical and mental pleasure.

It is what it is.

You are not have pseudo-relationship with anyone. You have friendships that include sex. You have sexual moments that include other people. It may not be a standard definition of relationship but the moment of connection is that relationship for that moment."

If you want to use 'relationship' in a social science sense... then I also have a relationship with the people I can't fucking stand, the postman who I never see and the person I spoke to this afternoon from some god forsaken call centre in India. But I think we both know that's not how I was apply the term

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Talking perfect ideal world here:

...what I would really like is to meet a lady I'm completely attracted to who wanted a kind of 'relationship lite' scenario.

A bit more than just friends with benifits but still not a full blown relationship with the bagage and complications that can bring. So we would be happy spending the day or weekend together, not just in bed but out enjoying each others company as well. A relationship where there was a little bit of romance amoungst the lust, with a great friendship as it's core.

...but then I always was a dreamer "

To be honest I know if I ever have anything more than sex this is how I tend to _iew it. I don't want someone to help me run my house. I don't want to always share my bed. But even cold bitches like me sometimes want company

However I play how I do now because everytime I've tried to get something similar to what is mentioned here I get the guy wanting more and it spoils it

I like the open door policy relationships lol

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"

You are not have pseudo-relationship with anyone. You have friendships that include sex. You have sexual moments that include other people. It may not be a standard definition of relationship but the moment of connection is that relationship for that moment."

I think that just about sums it up for me.

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By *eneral HysteriaMan  over a year ago

Newcastle


"I wonder. There are so many aspects to sex, from the innate drive to procreate to the giving and receiving of intimacy, from pillow talk to past time...

I really think that sex is rarely just about sex... what do other people think? "

For me, on here, it really is just about the enjoyment of sex for the sake of it. For all concerned.

Life, lust, enjoyment.

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By *phrodite OP   Woman  over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"I wonder. There are so many aspects to sex, from the innate drive to procreate to the giving and receiving of intimacy, from pillow talk to past time...

I really think that sex is rarely just about sex... what do other people think?

For me, on here, it really is just about the enjoyment of sex for the sake of it. For all concerned.

Life, lust, enjoyment."

Nothing wrong with that. In fact no opinion voiced on here is wrong... it is all about personal choice, values attached to sex etc. No right or wrong answers really

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