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alternative christmas cards
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I've bought you a puppy for Christmas.
Take this card to your local animal shelter to collect your gift.
Remember a dog is not just for Christmas... it's so you can eat shit and die! |
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Marry me!
Go on… pleeeeeeeeeeeeease, I know everything about you. I’ve followed you for months. I know what coffee you like. What programmes you watch on the telly (well the ones before you shut the curtains). I know you like pizza and which is your favourite topping. I know what day you do your washing and from the smell of it I’d say you use Daz. I know which supermarket you use and that you always eat a grape when you walk through the fruit and veg section… you really should buy more of that to get your 5-a-day. I know you like to holiday in Spain and you were right to complain about the state of the pool at the Costa Manco Hotel… it really was disgusting. I know you live alone and I know the landlord won’t fix the dodgy lock on the backdoor… I could help you fix that.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Marry me!
Go on… pleeeeeeeeeeeeease, I know everything about you. I’ve followed you for months. I know what coffee you like. What programmes you watch on the telly (well the ones before you shut the curtains). I know you like pizza and which is your favourite topping. I know what day you do your washing and from the smell of it I’d say you use Daz. I know which supermarket you use and that you always eat a grape when you walk through the fruit and veg section… you really should buy more of that to get your 5-a-day. I know you like to holiday in Spain and you were right to complain about the state of the pool at the Costa Manco Hotel… it really was disgusting. I know you live alone and I know the landlord won’t fix the dodgy lock on the backdoor… I could help you fix that.
"
actually did LOL  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Marry me!
Go on… pleeeeeeeeeeeeease, I know everything about you. I’ve followed you for months. I know what coffee you like. What programmes you watch on the telly (well the ones before you shut the curtains). I know you like pizza and which is your favourite topping. I know what day you do your washing and from the smell of it I’d say you use Daz. I know which supermarket you use and that you always eat a grape when you walk through the fruit and veg section… you really should buy more of that to get your 5-a-day. I know you like to holiday in Spain and you were right to complain about the state of the pool at the Costa Manco Hotel… it really was disgusting. I know you live alone and I know the landlord won’t fix the dodgy lock on the backdoor… I could help you fix that.
"
lmfao...i want to send that one...just got to find someone to stalk now lol |
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Here's an alternative - don't send Christmas cards.
Phone up whoever you're thinking about and talk to them. First couple of years they'll think you're batshit crazy but before you know it they'll be doing the same - and not just at Christmas. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Here's an alternative - don't send Christmas cards.
Phone up whoever you're thinking about and talk to them. First couple of years they'll think you're batshit crazy but before you know it they'll be doing the same - and not just at Christmas."
Yeah ..... next thing they'll be calling round... Get outta here Jim . cards are to KEEP family as remote as poss.!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Peace ... off! 
We Vishnu a Marry Christmas!
We Vishnu a Harry Crishna? 
Why the wiggly lips ?"
I didn't know how to spell Hari Krishna ( I have now googled it)   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Peace ... off!
We Vishnu a Marry Christmas!
We Vishnu a Harry Crishna?
Why the wiggly lips ?
I didn't know how to spell Hari Krishna ( I have now googled it) "
at least you didnt spell it "hairy crispbag" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Peace ... off!
We Vishnu a Marry Christmas!
We Vishnu a Harry Crishna?
Why the wiggly lips ?
I didn't know how to spell Hari Krishna ( I have now googled it)
at least you didnt spell it "hairy crispbag" "
OMG what flavour are those????  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Peace ... off!
We Vishnu a Marry Christmas!
We Vishnu a Harry Crishna?
Why the wiggly lips ?
I didn't know how to spell Hari Krishna ( I have now googled it)
at least you didnt spell it "hairy crispbag"
OMG what flavour are those???? "
Cat |
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