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Suicide
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"I felt the need to bring up this thread for 2 reasons first i lost 2 members of my family, my grandma and a short time later my auntie to suicide and because i am from Germany this was the week when the German national goalkeeper committed suicide. My question is are people that do this brave or extremely selfish, as we didnt get a chance to say goodbye. I would welcome your views, good or bad. xx" Simply : they should not be judged as either. | |||
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"I cant help feeling that they were selfish by doing what they did, if they could only have talked about it, maybe we could have helped." Or is it yourself you want to help ? | |||
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"I don't think its anything to do with being brave or selfish. I think if we are all honest most of us will admit to having suicidle thoughts at some point in our lives but 99% of people realise how stupid it would be and solve nothing as things always change no matter how difficult it is to believe it at the time. But for some people the ability to think reasonably and sensibly is impossible, and sadly those people go on to kill themselves, mostly it is a cry for help, but most of the time help doesn't come. No one can know what goes on in another persons mind. There but for the grace of God!" The Grace of God ? Are you saying he made them do it ? Let them do it ? Why does everyone assume that suicide cases were unable to 'see' so killed themselves? Maybe their thinking was so crystal that they saw more and further than those who stick around. | |||
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"i have lost 8 friends to suicide all by hanging all male, i would say it is a brave thing to do because ultimatly it is their own decision and also at the same time it is very selfish, it takes alot of gutts to do something like that." jeeze ,,, DONT add me as a friend | |||
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"Once again, Granny talks sense. The counter argument to people taking their lifes when their mind was in "imbalance" is that maybe they took their life because they could see with total clarity the pointlessness of life, and it's the rest of us who are deluded. " Im sorry, but thats just complete twaddle, if we saw things clearer we would all top ourselves??? hmmmm,  | |||
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"i have lost 8 friends to suicide all by hanging all male, i would say it is a brave thing to do because ultimatly it is their own decision and also at the same time it is very selfish, it takes alot of gutts to do something like that. jeeze ,,, DONT add me as a friend " sorry.... Made me piss lol...  | |||
"i have lost 8 friends to suicide all by hanging all male, i would say it is a brave thing to do because ultimatly it is their own decision and also at the same time it is very selfish, it takes alot of gutts to do something like that. jeeze ,,, DONT add me as a friend " LOL .... callous , flippant , thoughtless ....... Been to the Jimmy Carr school of edginess ? | |||
"Once again, Granny talks sense. The counter argument to people taking their lifes when their mind was in "imbalance" is that maybe they took their life because they could see with total clarity the pointlessness of life, and it's the rest of us who are deluded. Im sorry, but thats just complete twaddle, if we saw things clearer we would all top ourselves??? hmmmm, "How rude of you to call my contribution twaddle - FAT FINGERS -. It's slightly less simple. If one has clarity AND does not like what they see they then make the choice. | |||
"I don't think its anything to do with being brave or selfish. I think if we are all honest most of us will admit to having suicidle thoughts at some point in our lives but 99% of people realise how stupid it would be and solve nothing as things always change no matter how difficult it is to believe it at the time. But for some people the ability to think reasonably and sensibly is impossible, and sadly those people go on to kill themselves, mostly it is a cry for help, but most of the time help doesn't come. No one can know what goes on in another persons mind. There but for the grace of God! The Grace of God ? Are you saying he made them do it ? Let them do it ? Why does everyone assume that suicide cases were unable to 'see' so killed themselves? Maybe their thinking was so crystal that they saw more and further than those who stick around. " I'm saying it could happen to anyone, who knows how deparate or depressed any of us will become. When someones mind snaps they are not thinkling rationally, simple as that. I have dealt with dozens of suicides and the conseqenses of those suicides over the years in my job, and the way they took their lives varies from drugs/drink to hanging to laying on a railway line and everything else in between. | |||
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"I cant really explain it, just one day your life is ticking on then suddenly within 3 months 2 of your nearest and dearest arent there anymore, illness i could except but suicide thats different. Cant help feeling they were selfish. " They were ill. Not selfish. | |||
"i have lost 8 friends to suicide all by hanging all male, i would say it is a brave thing to do because ultimatly it is their own decision and also at the same time it is very selfish, it takes alot of gutts to do something like that. jeeze ,,, DONT add me as a friend sorry.... Made me piss lol... "Me too. I am now slapping myself. | |||
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"Once again, Granny talks sense. The counter argument to people taking their lifes when their mind was in "imbalance" is that maybe they took their life because they could see with total clarity the pointlessness of life, and it's the rest of us who are deluded. Im sorry, but thats just complete twaddle, if we saw things clearer we would all top ourselves??? hmmmm,
How rude of you to call my contribution twaddle - FAT FINGERS -. It's slightly less simple. If one has clarity AND does not like what they see they then make the choice. "Ahhhhhh, I see, its name calling day, I didn't get the memo, however I will resist, I was merely pointing out the error in suggesting the THE REST OF US ARE DELUDED BY OUR LACK OF CLEAR VISION, | |||
"I don't think its anything to do with being brave or selfish. I think if we are all honest most of us will admit to having suicidle thoughts at some point in our lives but 99% of people realise how stupid it would be and solve nothing as things always change no matter how difficult it is to believe it at the time. But for some people the ability to think reasonably and sensibly is impossible, and sadly those people go on to kill themselves, mostly it is a cry for help, but most of the time help doesn't come. No one can know what goes on in another persons mind. There but for the grace of God! The Grace of God ? Are you saying he made them do it ? Let them do it ? Why does everyone assume that suicide cases were unable to 'see' so killed themselves? Maybe their thinking was so crystal that they saw more and further than those who stick around. I'm saying it could happen to anyone, who knows how deparate or depressed any of us will become. When someones mind snaps they are not thinkling rationally, simple as that. I have dealt with dozens of suicides and the conseqenses of those suicides over the years in my job, and the way they took their lives varies from drugs/drink to hanging to laying on a railway line and everything else in between. " Thanks FFF xxx but I meant the God quote. It is NOT God's grace that saves you. There is no God. | |||
"Once again, Granny talks sense. The counter argument to people taking their lifes when their mind was in "imbalance" is that maybe they took their life because they could see with total clarity the pointlessness of life, and it's the rest of us who are deluded. Im sorry, but thats just complete twaddle, if we saw things clearer we would all top ourselves??? hmmmm,
How rude of you to call my contribution twaddle - FAT FINGERS -. It's slightly less simple. If one has clarity AND does not like what they see they then make the choice.
Ahhhhhh, I see, its name calling day, I didn't get the memo, however I will resist, I was merely pointing out the error in suggesting the THE REST OF US ARE DELUDED BY OUR LACK OF CLEAR VISION, "Name calling day was invented very recently by a Scots person ( gender unknown ) and the first shot in their book was Twaddle. As for people being deluded.....those were your words not mine. Please feel free to hammer holes in what you don't agree with but make the comments pertinent to honest quotes.  | |||
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"Once again, Granny talks sense. The counter argument to people taking their lifes when their mind was in "imbalance" is that maybe they took their life because they could see with total clarity the pointlessness of life, and it's the rest of us who are deluded. Im sorry, but thats just complete twaddle, if we saw things clearer we would all top ourselves??? hmmmm,
How rude of you to call my contribution twaddle - FAT FINGERS -. It's slightly less simple. If one has clarity AND does not like what they see they then make the choice.
Ahhhhhh, I see, its name calling day, I didn't get the memo, however I will resist, I was merely pointing out the error in suggesting the THE REST OF US ARE DELUDED BY OUR LACK OF CLEAR VISION,
Name calling day was invented very recently by a Scots person ( gender unknown ) and the first shot in their book was Twaddle.
As for people being deluded.....those were your words not mine. Please feel free to hammer holes in what you don't agree with but make the comments pertinent to honest quotes. "Pssssst Granny, the twaddle reference was to the thinking that we are deluded (not to any person) , and if you would like to pop back to earlier in the thread you might notice I didn't even quote you, it was another poster altogether that suggested we were deluded in our lack of clarity. | |||
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"For my self I would presume someone is in a sever state of anxiety and depression to take there own life. I some how doubt they considered how others would view there actions. I guess in one way it could be classed as selfish but I would my self feel anguish for there distress and unhappiness driving them to such actions "yes i agree with that, they must be in a real agonising depression, they are not thinking straight obviously, my mate was a manic depressive most of the time she was fine until one of her low days she killed herself, so so sad | |||
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"Once again, Granny talks sense. The counter argument to people taking their lifes when their mind was in "imbalance" is that maybe they took their life because they could see with total clarity the pointlessness of life, and it's the rest of us who are deluded. Im sorry, but thats just complete twaddle, if we saw things clearer we would all top ourselves??? hmmmm,
How rude of you to call my contribution twaddle - FAT FINGERS -. It's slightly less simple. If one has clarity AND does not like what they see they then make the choice.
Ahhhhhh, I see, its name calling day, I didn't get the memo, however I will resist, I was merely pointing out the error in suggesting the THE REST OF US ARE DELUDED BY OUR LACK OF CLEAR VISION,
Name calling day was invented very recently by a Scots person ( gender unknown ) and the first shot in their book was Twaddle.
As for people being deluded.....those were your words not mine. Please feel free to hammer holes in what you don't agree with but make the comments pertinent to honest quotes.
Pssssst Granny, the twaddle reference was to the thinking that we are deluded (not to any person) , and if you would like to pop back to earlier in the thread you might notice I didn't even quote you, it was another poster altogether that suggested we were deluded in our lack of clarity. "Psssssst! I didn't LIKE going back to earlier in the thread...cos ... you're right. Don't show me up in public again ... | |||
"Once again, Granny talks sense. Psssssst! I didn't LIKE going back to earlier in the thread...cos ... you're right. Don't show me up in public again ... " NOW this time I agree with you, thank you Granny, not many would have admited their mistake | |||
"Point taken but when you see soldiers coming back from Afganistan that are possibly quadraplegic, point im making is there is always someone worse off than you, why end it! At least try and talk to someone first." How low does a person have to get before someone CANT make the statement that someone else is worse off ? Why not end it ? | |||
"Once again, Granny talks sense. Psssssst! I didn't LIKE going back to earlier in the thread...cos ... you're right. Don't show me up in public again ... NOW this time I agree with you, thank you Granny, not many would have admited their mistake "And only a few would point it out in public again FAT FINGERS. x | |||
"Once again, Granny talks sense. Psssssst! I didn't LIKE going back to earlier in the thread...cos ... you're right. Don't show me up in public again ... NOW this time I agree with you, thank you Granny, not many would have admited their mistake
And only a few would point it out in public again FAT FINGERS. x "You say that like its a bad thing   | |||
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cunt huh lol | |||
"i tried it when i was 17, obviously i failed ... but looking back i was stupid, i did it as i thought it was the easy option. " You are not that person now though xx That's the diff. xx | |||
"Once again, Granny talks sense. Psssssst! I didn't LIKE going back to earlier in the thread...cos ... you're right. Don't show me up in public again ... NOW this time I agree with you, thank you Granny, not many would have admited their mistake
And only a few would point it out in public again FAT FINGERS. x
You say that like its a bad thing "What size bowling ball do you take ? | |||
"Once again, Granny talks sense. Psssssst! I didn't LIKE going back to earlier in the thread...cos ... you're right. Don't show me up in public again ... NOW this time I agree with you, thank you Granny, not many would have admited their mistake
And only a few would point it out in public again FAT FINGERS. x
You say that like its a bad thing
What size bowling ball do you take ?"sorry don't answer - this is the suicide thread. Start a fat finger fred. | |||
" What size bowling ball do you take ?" If I ever got time to go ten pin bowling, i'd use a size 16, you know, the mens size, | |||
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"I think this might be depressing for some but it's something that can never be talked about enough in my opinion. A friend's sister commited suicide the day after I met her for the first time. (yes, I know how this reads!). I didn't recognise it at the time but the vibes she gave off about something wrong were very strong- I just thought she'd maybe tried in the past. The next day she was dead. She had outwardly, everything to live for but was severey depressed, unknown to the family. The family was torn apart by her death, compounded, it has to be said, by her religion and its views about suicide so she was buried outside Hallowed ground- giving even more distress to her family. Reasonably shortly afterwards due to PTSD, I found myself in the same position. It was only knowing what it did to that family that stopped me doing it to mine. All I can say is that with depression, death is a blessed release. You are in a hole deeper and darker than any you could ever imagine and the light of death is so much brighter and better than continuing on. Your family recedes in your mind but you are unable to let them know how you feel but you love them deeply but just want release. What you'd leave behind is abject misery and if more people released the devastating effect on families suicide has, maybe they would come back from the brink, too. " Feel for you. However....people cannot just decide to NOT be depressed and live happily ever after.. They cannot say ...oooooo ya know what I'd leave misery behind ..... so i best suck it up n laugh like a banshee. | |||
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" My point however is that I can totally understand what's in someone's mind about to commit suicide and that it's a release, like taking morphine for an amputated leg pain. A cure, if you like, something you do to make things better, not something to be judged for." depression is difficult to explain to someone who has never had it. but that quote is petty good as to what it feels like when the depression gets that bad. sometimes its just feels the easiest thing to do than live with it | |||
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"I felt the need to bring up this thread for 2 reasons first i lost 2 members of my family, my grandma and a short time later my auntie to suicide and because i am from Germany this was the week when the German national goalkeeper committed suicide. My question is are people that do this brave or extremely selfish, as we didnt get a chance to say goodbye. I would welcome your views, good or bad. xx" I would say they are very brave. I forget the exact figures but something like 90% of all people think about comitting suicide at some point in their life. Something like 0.1% actually go through with it. You have to be very down and depressed to commit suicide but also very brave in my opinion. | |||
"I would say they are very brave. I forget the exact figures but something like 90% of all people think about comitting suicide at some point in their life. Something like 0.1% actually go through with it. You have to be very down and depressed to commit suicide but also very brave in my opinion. " I agre, most of us have thought about it. I would say, though that whilst I wouldn't call someone who toped themselves as a coward, I don't think that it's very often brave. Captain Oats was brave walking into the snow to extend his colleagues' life was brave, but does that mean kamikaze pilots were? By ending ones life prematurely, we are usualy running away from something (money problems for example). It is easier to run than face the consequences, in that case. It is diferent if one has a chronic condition which severely affects your quality of life, but even there, if that is the sensible decision, are the people who carry on foolhardy? I would submit that the terms 'brave' and 'cowardly' don't realy fit the majority of suicides, as those terms rely on the judgement of a sound mind, by definition someone with a mental health issue (as the majority of suiciders have) can't make that judgement as their minds aren't sound. | |||
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""If thay only could sit down or phone chat too some one get it out in the open ,,,,, as alot could learn to understand why thay feel like this" I SO agree with you on this. Talking about this subject is really difficut for me but if it can either bring more understanding or help someone feeling suicidal now or in the future, I'll talk all day. We all should." As an ex Samaritan it saddens me to feel we are not doing our job sufficiently enough, that people feel they have no-one to talk to ... someone is there 24/7 and I promise no-one will judge and there is no limit on the time a call will take ... I hope people are aware we are still out there. Putting my MH Nurses head on for a moment ... it is in my experience the hoplessness that tips a person over the edge, depression, though a big contributor is not in itself a cause ... but mix in the hoplessness and it becomes so .... If you know someone feeling suicidal then talk to them about it, dont shy away fearing you will make them worse ... you can't! But letting them discuss their whys and even how far they have planned to go, might make them stop and think ... and I don't consider it a selfish act ... in fact I know of a few people who have done so in the misguided thought they are doing the best thing for the people around them ... very sad | |||
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Sometimes a persons pain can be so great that their love for others simply doesn't register. I doubt that any of us could ever fully empathise with those that have fallen so deeply into the shadows that the darkness they are experiencing saturates them mentally, physically and spiritually, their very essence has become soaked with despair so debilitating life itself no longer has purpose.
For those dealing with such a situation offering comfort, reassurance and hope will find that their loving actions of protection can only go so far, and last so long - eventually we are all left alone.
Protecting those that are embraced with self-destructive intentions merely delays the heart breaking inevitable, a precious life ends.
I sat with a very dear friend of mine as his life ebbed away, he had cancer, died aged 30. Watching him lay helpless dying will stay with me forever, was I angry at him for dying, no. I was angry at the world for letting him die yet the world was blameless, in the same way those that take their own lives are without blame, it's all pain that the body and soul can no longer endure.
I will never forget my friend especially the way that he died, have I stopped being angry at the world, not on your life - it has caused me more pain than many here would care to experience or wish to hear of. Yet I know for a fact some have suffered far more than me.
I was once told, "your suffering is yours whether you see it as more or less than mine, it doesn't lessen my pain, all pain is unique to each individual as is its affects" - the most polite way I have ever been told to shut up lol
Now I have one more tin of Stella that is winking at me, it should make me unpleasantly d*unk - how can you be unpleasantly d*unk ? ask a glass of water. | |||
"i have lost 8 friends to suicide all by hanging all male, i would say it is a brave thing to do because ultimatly it is their own decision and also at the same time it is very selfish, it takes alot of gutts to do something like that." How does that happen? I don't know anyone who has committed suicide. Am I fortunate? Is there an 'unlucky' gene somewhere that I haven't been given? The mere fact that someone has ended their own life is explanatory enough to know that there was something seriously wrong with their thought processes and thus cannot be judged for their actions, as they weren't responsible for them, and, as in nearly every criminal case involving the perp being mentally ill - they are deemed to be not responsible for their actions, but treatable if it becomes known. And therein lies the dilemma: someone showing no outward signs of wanting to end it all is very difficult to help. | |||
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"Who are we to judge anyone xx" We cant .. We can only be there for them. | |||
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"However anyone dies is a great loss and pain to all who are left behind, my partner of only seven years was killed in a motorbike accident leaving myself and his son of five years old. Six years later it's still as painful, we never said goodbye. There was a whole chain of events led up to him being alone that day, hence the reason he went out on his bike. It was my mothers birthday and I and our son went to her leaving him alone to finish some decorating. My mother blamed herself for wanting us to visit, my little boy blamed himself for not wanting to stay painting with daddy, I blamed myself for not insisting he came with us, even my neighbour blamed himself for not keeping my partner chatting outside the gate for a few minutes longer. All of us feel guilt and sorrow..... it makes no difference how the loved one dies... they die.... the brave ones are those who are bereft and have to live on through the pain. Please lift your head, let go of any guilt and allow the love you had for them back into your heart. One day at a time is the only way, and look forward not back unless it's with love as you reminisce. My heartfelt condolences to you and all who have lost their loved ones. Laine xxxxx " Well put Laine. | |||
"I have had a few people suffer the after effects of suicide and most recently on saturday. Having seen the destruction and hurt it does to people left behind, leaving questions such as why, and guilt that they didnt see a problem, where unable to help or even question their care for these people i have to say although the initial taking of ones own life is a brave momentary decision, the inevitable out come from it is a selfish one. " i agree with your points, yes its brave but also selfish. i lost my mum this way over 14 years ago now and so did my 5yr old brother and 10yr old sister. people commit suicide and its usually down to not being able to cope with life and events in their lives,not being able to find another way out. all your problems just seem so big you cant deal with life anymore. in life when things get tough, there will always be someone worse off than you. i always look at it that... the tough times are what have made me who i am and thats a fighter and survivor and stronger person. and that icould never do it cos wouldnt want to hurt my family or leave them with all the unanswered questions | |||
" 3 weeks ago i was at a swingers clubs chams sitting out side with people chating ,,,,, 2 couples one man he worked on the tube in london ,,,,, he was saying the high light of his week was people killing themselfs on the line he said work would stop and thay had a rest as the polise had a go at getting bodys parts and finding who it was,,,,,, i sat thare i could feel myself getting mad thinking thay was someones child ,,,,,,a person ,,,,, I had know only in the last 4 months two young men in there 20s killing themselfs after splitting up and there girl-friends give them hell made them feel worth nothing and stoped them seeing there children , two young men killed them selfes on line of the tube i sat there feeling like crying ,,,,, how could thay make fun of this." It's sad, but people make fun of such things to deal with it, if he let it bother him he may find it hard to work, especially when passing certain spots where this happened. | |||
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" 3 weeks ago i was at a swingers clubs chams sitting out side with people chating ,,,,, 2 couples one man he worked on the tube in london ,,,,, he was saying the high light of his week was people killing themselfs on the line he said work would stop and thay had a rest as the polise had a go at getting bodys parts and finding who it was,,,,,, i sat thare i could feel myself getting mad thinking thay was someones child ,,,,,,a person ,,,,, I had know only in the last 4 months two young men in there 20s killing themselfs after splitting up and there girl-friends give them hell made them feel worth nothing and stoped them seeing there children , two young men killed them selfes on line of the tube i sat there feeling like crying ,,,,, how could thay make fun of this. It's sad, but people make fun of such things to deal with it, if he let it bother him he may find it hard to work, especially when passing certain spots where this happened. " I agree Shag. Being from a forces background, I found they too have a 'gallows humour' it's a coping mechanism. As you say it allows them to carry on doing what they do day in day out. However it's not something that should be discussed in such a flippant manner to cause offence with people outside their work environment. | |||
" 3 weeks ago i was at a swingers clubs chams sitting out side with people chating ,,,,, 2 couples one man he worked on the tube in london ,,,,, he was saying the high light of his week was people killing themselfs on the line he said work would stop and thay had a rest as the polise had a go at getting bodys parts and finding who it was,,,,,, i sat thare i could feel myself getting mad thinking thay was someones child ,,,,,,a person ,,,,, I had know only in the last 4 months two young men in there 20s killing themselfs after splitting up and there girl-friends give them hell made them feel worth nothing and stoped them seeing there children , two young men killed them selfes on line of the tube i sat there feeling like crying ,,,,, how could thay make fun of this." Have you ever heard the saying "if I didn't laugh I'd cry" ? If he'd have sat there and told you of the horrific nightmares he's had due to witnessing such events, how he sees the body disappear under the front of the engine time and time again… would you feel sorry for him having to go through such a thing? May be he doesn’t want to feel sorry for himself or have others feel sorry for him. May be he just wants to get on with his life. People learn to deal with shit in their own way... that's his way. | |||
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" 3 weeks ago i was at a swingers clubs chams sitting out side with people chating ,,,,, 2 couples one man he worked on the tube in london ,,,,, he was saying the high light of his week was people killing themselfs on the line he said work would stop and thay had a rest as the polise had a go at getting bodys parts and finding who it was,,,,,, i sat thare i could feel myself getting mad thinking thay was someones child ,,,,,,a person ,,,,, I had know only in the last 4 months two young men in there 20s killing themselfs after splitting up and there girl-friends give them hell made them feel worth nothing and stoped them seeing there children , two young men killed them selfes on line of the tube i sat there feeling like crying ,,,,, how could thay make fun of this. It's sad, but people make fun of such things to deal with it, if he let it bother him he may find it hard to work, especially when passing certain spots where this happened. I agree Shag. Being from a forces background, I found they too have a 'gallows humour' it's a coping mechanism. As you say it allows them to carry on doing what they do day in day out. However it's not something that should be discussed in such a flippant manner to cause offence with people outside their work environment." This is very true, but as we all know, some people have little or no tact, and/or thought or others. some have no control of their tongues, lol. | |||
" 3 weeks ago i was at a swingers clubs chams sitting out side with people chating ,,,,, 2 couples one man he worked on the tube in london ,,,,, he was saying the high light of his week was people killing themselfs on the line he said work would stop and thay had a rest as the polise had a go at getting bodys parts and finding who it was,,,,,, i sat thare i could feel myself getting mad thinking thay was someones child ,,,,,,a person ,,,,, I had know only in the last 4 months two young men in there 20s killing themselfs after splitting up and there girl-friends give them hell made them feel worth nothing and stoped them seeing there children , two young men killed them selfes on line of the tube i sat there feeling like crying ,,,,, how could thay make fun of this. It's sad, but people make fun of such things to deal with it, if he let it bother him he may find it hard to work, especially when passing certain spots where this happened. I agree Shag. Being from a forces background, I found they too have a 'gallows humour' it's a coping mechanism. As you say it allows them to carry on doing what they do day in day out. However it's not something that should be discussed in such a flippant manner to cause offence with people outside their work environment. This is very true, but as we all know, some people have little or no tact, and/or thought or others. some have no control of their tongues, lol." actually i think that the person who said that at the club was actually talking flippantly. i actually see train drivers who come to where i work to seek therapy after people have thrown themselves under the train. so in that particular situation the person who kills themselves leave others traumatic not just their family members | |||
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" The Grace of God ? Are you saying he made them do it ? Let them do it ? Why does everyone assume that suicide cases were unable to 'see' so killed themselves? Maybe their thinking was so crystal that they saw more and further than those who stick around. " I was diagnosed with cancer two years after the death of my partner. I put my will in order, agreed with my eldest she would be her young brothers legal guardian, and prepared to die. I wanted to just lie down and be with my partner, so I took it as a sign from whatever God there is that it was my permission to refuse treatment and let the fates decide. That to me was crystal clear. Obviously it was the wrong decision for my family and they and the doctor talked me round. I still say if it wasn't for them being in my life I WOULD have elected death. | |||
" shag he said thay had two or 3 a week going this ....... just not the thing you chat about at a swinging club put me right off the evening .... maybe its the way he deal with it ,,,, but not in front of me and others ...." I agree, not making excuses for his lack of thought for others, or lack of knowledge on how to mix publicly, just passing comment that people in certain industries can and often do develop a twisted sense of humour to cope. | |||
" shag he said thay had two or 3 a week going this ....... just not the thing you chat about at a swinging club put me right off the evening .... maybe its the way he deal with it ,,,, but not in front of me and others .... I agree, not making excuses for his lack of thought for others, or lack of knowledge on how to mix publicly, just passing comment that people in certain industries can and often do develop a twisted sense of humour to cope." well people who face death, whether it be themselves or the likes of the train drivers develop an macarb sense of humour to cope with it. I recall a situation with my sister only 3 weeks before she died. when i asked her was there any questions that she would be asking of her oncologist on her next visit, her husband chirped up with "yes i want to know when we can next have sex" to which my sister replied "for gods sake it would be like necrophilia". only a person in that situation could come out with such a quip. she retained her sense of humour right till the end. so perhaps humour is a defense mechanisim that people use | |||
" shag he said thay had two or 3 a week going this ....... just not the thing you chat about at a swinging club put me right off the evening .... maybe its the way he deal with it ,,,, but not in front of me and others .... I agree, not making excuses for his lack of thought for others, or lack of knowledge on how to mix publicly, just passing comment that people in certain industries can and often do develop a twisted sense of humour to cope. well people who face death, whether it be themselves or the likes of the train drivers develop an macarb sense of humour to cope with it. I recall a situation with my sister only 3 weeks before she died. when i asked her was there any questions that she would be asking of her oncologist on her next visit, her husband chirped up with "yes i want to know when we can next have sex" to which my sister replied "for gods sake it would be like necrophilia". only a person in that situation could come out with such a quip. she retained her sense of humour right till the end. so perhaps humour is a defense mechanisim that people use" I do believe so. | |||
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(True)
The shock of hearing about my big bro wasn't good and I found it impossible for a week or two to visit him at hospital. When I eventually did and sat silently beside my brother, he immediately hit me square on the head with his stump - that broke the ice. He then asked a nurse what had happened to his leg, she replied reluctantly that it would have been burnt and asked why did he want to know - he wanted to be able to tell friends that he had one foot in the grave.
He spent sometime forgetting that he had lost a leg, and mornings always started with a bump as he jumped out of bed - being young at the time I remember getting above my station with him, his crutch whistling through the air smashing into my noggin soon ended that.
oops school run time so can't finish, what a relief lol
We all use humour with stressful situations, but I do agree there is a time and place.
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