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Getting comments from partner about still fancying ex's
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depending on the relationship dynamics between us as a couple and depending on what the feelings are for them would depend on my response
Open relationship I would ask if the feelings were just sexual or if she wanted back with them
If it was just sexual then bang away till your hearts content
If it was wanting back with them I would probably say look I think we need time apart your clearly not over them and I don’t want to get hurt
So we takein a brake and you make your choice I will respect it what ever way it falls
If it’s closed then probably say time apart is what we need I am not here to be a consultant prize and come second to a ex and then get hurt |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Was kinda thinking that occasionally an off the cuff comment can plant the seed in thier new partners head that they still get horny thoughts about the ex.
I could give some examples but had the idea most people would have had own experiences. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Deep.
Very articulate and detailed.
 "
Thanks I have had a lot off time to think on a subject like this as it’s the reason I have
Canned dates on purpose and stuff
Ie make them think I wasn’t for them
When in truth as I was on the date all I thought about was I wish I was sitting with a ex
It’s not fair on that person that I am still in love with them
So instead off putting them off date by make them think
Wasn’t I nice anuff was it me
I did something to make them think I wasn’t for them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Was kinda thinking that occasionally an off the cuff comment can plant the seed in thier new partners head that they still get horny thoughts about the ex.
I could give some examples but had the idea most people would have had own experiences. "
I personally would be offended. It’s highly disrespectful and hurtful. Just why would you say that? They’re either not over their ex or they just have sexual thoughts from the memory bank but just keep that to yourself, where is the tact here? Or they are emotionally abusing you knowing it’s football to hurt you. Either way not something I’d tolerate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Was kinda thinking that occasionally an off the cuff comment can plant the seed in thier new partners head that they still get horny thoughts about the ex.
I could give some examples but had the idea most people would have had own experiences.
I personally would be offended. It’s highly disrespectful and hurtful. Just why would you say that? They’re either not over their ex or they just have sexual thoughts from the memory bank but just keep that to yourself, where is the tact here? Or they are emotionally abusing you knowing it’s football to hurt you. Either way not something I’d tolerate. "
*going to hurt you. Stupid autotwat |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If this happens to you, how do you deal with it? 
They’re accusing you of fancying yours or they’re saying they still fancy theirs? "
Well.. Like you know that situation where a guy chats to an ex or old friend & afterwards he's grilled with comments like 'I could tell you fancy her' etc
& when you're chatting describing what type of body is your turn on & it ends up sounding just like an ex. You get the sarcastic comments like 'when we're having sex it's them you're thinking of not me'
That sound familiar to anyone? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Was kinda thinking that occasionally an off the cuff comment can plant the seed in thier new partners head that they still get horny thoughts about the ex.
I could give some examples but had the idea most people would have had own experiences.
I personally would be offended. It’s highly disrespectful and hurtful. Just why would you say that? They’re either not over their ex or they just have sexual thoughts from the memory bank but just keep that to yourself, where is the tact here? Or they are emotionally abusing you knowing it’s football to hurt you. Either way not something I’d tolerate. "
Thing is, if your way of dealing with it is to explain you're offended etc etc.. You come across as insecure, irrational and a nag.
Because what has been said was not intended directly but an off the cuff comment said without realising.
Basically.. Im careful with what I say always because I've been on the receiving end and dealt with it by filing it away in my head.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Was kinda thinking that occasionally an off the cuff comment can plant the seed in thier new partners head that they still get horny thoughts about the ex.
I could give some examples but had the idea most people would have had own experiences.
I personally would be offended. It’s highly disrespectful and hurtful. Just why would you say that? They’re either not over their ex or they just have sexual thoughts from the memory bank but just keep that to yourself, where is the tact here? Or they are emotionally abusing you knowing it’s football to hurt you. Either way not something I’d tolerate.
Thing is, if your way of dealing with it is to explain you're offended etc etc.. You come across as insecure, irrational and a nag.
Because what has been said was not intended directly but an off the cuff comment said without realising.
Basically.. Im careful with what I say always because I've been on the receiving end and dealt with it by filing it away in my head.
"
There is no need to mention your ex as being sexually attractive to you still if you have a current partner. You need more tact and should realise an ‘off the cuff’ comment like that won’t be taken well.
Just chatting to an ex because you get on and there is no bad terms and then being accused of fancying them can be seen as them being insecure. But to be honest if you’ve already mentioned you still find them attractive you can’t blame your partner really for feeling insecure. Just my opinion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Was kinda thinking that occasionally an off the cuff comment can plant the seed in thier new partners head that they still get horny thoughts about the ex.
I could give some examples but had the idea most people would have had own experiences.
I personally would be offended. It’s highly disrespectful and hurtful. Just why would you say that? They’re either not over their ex or they just have sexual thoughts from the memory bank but just keep that to yourself, where is the tact here? Or they are emotionally abusing you knowing it’s football to hurt you. Either way not something I’d tolerate.
Thing is, if your way of dealing with it is to explain you're offended etc etc.. You come across as insecure, irrational and a nag.
Because what has been said was not intended directly but an off the cuff comment said without realising.
Basically.. Im careful with what I say always because I've been on the receiving end and dealt with it by filing it away in my head.
There is no need to mention your ex as being sexually attractive to you still if you have a current partner. You need more tact and should realise an ‘off the cuff’ comment like that won’t be taken well.
Just chatting to an ex because you get on and there is no bad terms and then being accused of fancying them can be seen as them being insecure. But to be honest if you’ve already mentioned you still find them attractive you can’t blame your partner really for feeling insecure. Just my opinion"
Totally agree there.
I mean how on earth someone could think that this ‘not intended’ comment won’t have repercussions?!
Now they may want a reaction, which either way is toxic anyway.
Like what has been said, you should have a talk to not find yourself as a third wheel that is here to fill a void. Unless you want to but don’t think it is sustainable emotionally speaking.
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