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Its a joke here!
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Thats right. You expected a bunch of ranting bull crap. But nope
Post your jokes here and make us laugh.
Its been a tough few weeks. And smiles need to be spread.
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three. Uno, dos... poof. He disappeared without a tres |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not mine one not really a joke just something that end up in my dms
What kind off toothpaste do you use
Please tell me it’s oral-b as that’s what I would like to give you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A priest, a pastor and rabbit walk into a blood donation clinic. The nurse asks the rabbit "What's your blood type?"
"I'm probably a Type O" replied the rabbit. |
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Just heard a good one on the radio made me chuckle.
" I used to work in a kitchen but got fired for stealing kitchen equipment,I know it was a stupid thing to do but it was a whisk I was willing to take" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are 2 types of people on fab, those who can extrapolate a joke from unfinished data"
There are 10 types of people in the world. Those that understand binary, and those that don't... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Heard this on the radio today
If you get locked out of your car, just rub your green trousers on the door , and you’ll get in, because they’re your car key trousers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Guy walks into a Chinese restaurant, big Chinese waiter comes over and says " wa you want sir "
"I'll have the noodle soup" says the man
"OK sir, no pwablem"
5 minutes later the waiter brings over his soup
"Enjoy your soup sir" says the waiter.
After a few minutes the waiter looks over and sees the man running out the door, without hesitation the waiter legs it after him.
3 miles later he sees the man run into a brothel, right thinks the waiter, I've got you now.
He walks into the brothel and says to the lady at the front desk,
" where da man go"?
"Upstairs second door on the right" she says.
Big Chinese waiter stomps up the stairs, gets to the door and the door falls off its hinges, even the door is scared of this guy, he looks into the room and he sees the man with his head between this prostitutes legs, snarling at the buzby,
"Why you no pay for soup"? Says the waiter,
"Coz there was a fuckin hair in it" says the guy,
"But you got a mouthful of hair there" says the waiter,
" yeah " says the man, " and I find a noodle in here she ain't getting paid either!" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've just been sacked! Me own fault though. The supervisor caught me with my cock in the potato peeler.
What's that? What did the do with the peeler?
Oh they sacked her as well |
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A German guy approaches a lady of the night.
'I vish to buy sex wit you.'
'OK,' says the girl, 'I charge 20 an hour.'
'..ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky.'
'No problem,' she replies cautiously, 'I can do little kinky.'
So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller. 'I vant zat you tie ze springs to each of your hans und knees.' The girl finds this most odd, but complies, fastening the springs as he had said, to her hands and knees. 'Now you vill get on your hans und knees.'
She duly does this, balancing precariously on the springs.
'You vill please to blow zis kwacker as I make love to you.'
She finds it odd, but figures it's harmless (and the guy is paying.)
The sex is fantastic, as she is bounced all over the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duck caller.
The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced and it is several minutes before she has enough breath to say 'That was totally amazing, what do you call that position ?'
'Ah,' says the German 'dat is de Four-sprung Duck technique' |
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"Thats right. You expected a bunch of ranting bull crap. But nope
Post your jokes here and make us laugh.
Its been a tough few weeks. And smiles need to be spread.
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three. Uno, dos... poof. He disappeared without a tres"
Tim Vine, right..? |
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A cow and a sheep are in different fields with a stream inbetween and a single wooden bridge crossing it. They decide to swap fields and meet each other on the bridge.
Moooooove over, says the cow.
Baaaaaalocks, replies the sheep. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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These two Eggs got married and that night the female egg was in the Ensuite getting herself ready ,she then opened the door to see the male egg on the bed wearing a crash helmet.." what's with the crash helmet ? " She said ..he replied " the last time l was this hard a person hit me over the head with a spoon " |
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