FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Banter, what does that “look like” to you?
Banter, what does that “look like” to you?
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"“Banter”… since joining Fab, I’ve discovered there are so many interpretations of the word “Banter”, from what I consider to be utterly crass and linguistically inept, to intellectually stimulating. For instance I had a nice chap say “when can I suck your baps?” and when he was met with silence told me that I “can’t take the banter love”… hmmm So I’m intrigued; What does “banter” look like to you? "I've given up trying to recognise it, explain it or rationalise it. It used to be harmless, obvious, jokey and witty chat between people you knew well. These days just the vaguest use of the word runs the risk of connotations of bullying, abuse, piss taking, negative behaviour and generally a whole bunch of seriously unpopular responses. It's not worth it anymore. Much safer to just carry on with whatever you were doing/saying and avoid using the 'b' word. Because no matter how innocent there's someone who will takes things said the wrong way and create a mountain from an obvious molehill. A | |||
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"“Banter”… since joining Fab, I’ve discovered there are so many interpretations of the word “Banter”, from what I consider to be utterly crass and linguistically inept, to intellectually stimulating. For instance I had a nice chap say “when can I suck your baps?” and when he was met with silence told me that I “can’t take the banter love”… hmmm So I’m intrigued; What does “banter” look like to you? "Seems to be used somewhat lazily as an excuse for clumsy or offensive comments. Or as away of saying stuff without consequencen, as it was "only banter mate". Fucking awful concept. | |||
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"To me banter has always meant a witty and humorous exchange between equally matched people who understand each others humour. It seems to have evolved to mean dressing up extremely unpleasant bullying as jokes and humiliating the victim if they don't join in and take it " Again, on point. | |||
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"It’s when I ask a lass when I can suck her baps. Banter innit. Had birds that just go silent on me - they can’t take it. "Sorry that happened to you, BantsDerks. Don't be discouraged, and may the Fab Bakers bless your banter with a dozen baps to... wait suck, hang on is this not a lunch thread? | |||
"“Banter”… since joining Fab, I’ve discovered there are so many interpretations of the word “Banter”, from what I consider to be utterly crass and linguistically inept, to intellectually stimulating. For instance I had a nice chap say “when can I suck your baps?” and when he was met with silence told me that I “can’t take the banter love”… hmmm So I’m intrigued; What does “banter” look like to you?
I've given up trying to recognise it, explain it or rationalise it.
It used to be harmless, obvious, jokey and witty chat between people you knew well.
These days just the vaguest use of the word runs the risk of connotations of bullying, abuse, piss taking, negative behaviour and generally a whole bunch of seriously unpopular responses.
It's not worth it anymore. Much safer to just carry on with whatever you were doing/saying and avoid using the 'b' word. Because no matter how innocent there's someone who will takes things said the wrong way and create a mountain from an obvious molehill.
A"Spot on. If things get much worse women will be completely undated bless as the fear of being locked up won't be worth the agg. | |||
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"Anti Black jokes. That’s the banter I’ve always known. "I’m being a bit race focused today on fab. I should also mention that people always have been homophobic and misogynistic too and called it banter.  | |||
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"It’s when I ask a lass when I can suck her baps. Banter innit. Had birds that just go silent on me - they can’t take it. " loving the “bants” fml  | |||
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"It's scottish for ' I'm crude, crass, think I'm funny as fuck and if you don't think the same you've got a stick up your arse ' " touché | |||
"I actually love a bit of 'banter', as long as its good humoured and well intended" I think you have hit the nail on the head there. However be only way of knowing someone's intentions is if you know the person well enough. | |||
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"To me banter has always meant a witty and humorous exchange between equally matched people who understand each others humour. It seems to have evolved to mean dressing up extremely unpleasant bullying as jokes and humiliating the victim if they don't join in and take it " sad state of affairs really | |||
"It's scottish for ' I'm crude, crass, think I'm funny as fuck and if you don't think the same you've got a stick up your arse ' "#fact | |||
"“Banter”… since joining Fab, I’ve discovered there are so many interpretations of the word “Banter”, from what I consider to be utterly crass and linguistically inept, to intellectually stimulating. For instance I had a nice chap say “when can I suck your baps?” and when he was met with silence told me that I “can’t take the banter love”… hmmm So I’m intrigued; What does “banter” look like to you?
Seems to be used somewhat lazily as an excuse for clumsy or offensive comments. Or as away of saying stuff without consequencen, as it was "only banter mate". Fucking awful concept. "very true at times  I get that, It can totally be used as an excuse for Shitty behaviour. | |||
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"“Banter”… since joining Fab, I’ve discovered there are so many interpretations of the word “Banter”, from what I consider to be utterly crass and linguistically inept, to intellectually stimulating. For instance I had a nice chap say “when can I suck your baps?” and when he was met with silence told me that I “can’t take the banter love”… hmmm So I’m intrigued; What does “banter” look like to you?
I've given up trying to recognise it, explain it or rationalise it.
It used to be harmless, obvious, jokey and witty chat between people you knew well.
These days just the vaguest use of the word runs the risk of connotations of bullying, abuse, piss taking, negative behaviour and generally a whole bunch of seriously unpopular responses.
It's not worth it anymore. Much safer to just carry on with whatever you were doing/saying and avoid using the 'b' word. Because no matter how innocent there's someone who will takes things said the wrong way and create a mountain from an obvious molehill.
A
Spot on. If things get much worse women will be completely undated bless as the fear of being locked up won't be worth the agg."I’d like to think it’s not a “women” thing, that’s certainly not the case from my point of view. | |||
"Anti Black jokes. That’s the banter I’ve always known. "this is quite sad actually, and I’m sorry that you experience this under the guise of “banter”. | |||
"Usually it's an exchange of blows between equally matched opponents aware of the game they play. Can it be savage, of course, but that's between those that play and their own amusement. It's hilarious catching the side eyes from people unawares. Naturally, when looking for new opportunities for a chuckle, restraint and judgement might be prudent, but, if they're easily tilted at the gentle stuff it's obvious we won't get on. Now, has the term been bastardised to reflect others attempts at humour, yup yup, but, like everything else, it's merely a form of active filtration. I don't see that as a bad thing, at all. Profiles can say only so much, status updates and forum posts etc tend to reveal a lot more. " very true and very eloquent.. I suppose the ability to “read the room” as well at the intended audience is applicable here.. | |||
"To me, “Bants” is covering up not being particularly interesting or funny with volume. " Disagree totally. To me its witty repartee | |||
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"I actually love a bit of 'banter', as long as its good humoured and well intended I think you have hit the nail on the head there. However be only way of knowing someone's intentions is if you know the person well enough. " Yep true. But if it was someone i didn't know so well and the 'banter' was not so light hearted and well intended, i wouldn't engage any further | |||
"Anti Black jokes. That’s the banter I’ve always known. this is quite sad actually, and I’m sorry that you experience this under the guise of “banter”. "You’d have loved Loughborough uni, honestly. Top banter lads | |||
"“Banter”… since joining Fab, I’ve discovered there are so many interpretations of the word “Banter”, from what I consider to be utterly crass and linguistically inept, to intellectually stimulating. For instance I had a nice chap say “when can I suck your baps?” and when he was met with silence told me that I “can’t take the banter love”… hmmm So I’m intrigued; What does “banter” look like to you? "Banter appears to be a saying used when sexual advances fall flat on its arse….a get out of jail card! The same as my kids saying “it was just a joke” as they are getting told off for doing or saying something stupid. Banter can only be applied when there’s a conversation between two or more people who all get the joke. Banter is an excuse of a word. Who’d like the soapbox next?  | |||
"To me banter has always meant a witty and humorous exchange between equally matched people who understand each others humour. It seems to have evolved to mean dressing up extremely unpleasant bullying as jokes and humiliating the victim if they don't join in and take it " That's how I see it also. | |||
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"It's scottish for ' I'm crude, crass, think I'm funny as fuck and if you don't think the same you've got a stick up your arse ' "I thought it was rhyming slang for "Tam o' Shanter" | |||
"Usually it's an exchange of blows between equally matched opponents aware of the game they play. Can it be savage, of course, but that's between those that play and their own amusement. It's hilarious catching the side eyes from people unawares. Naturally, when looking for new opportunities for a chuckle, restraint and judgement might be prudent, but, if they're easily tilted at the gentle stuff it's obvious we won't get on. Now, has the term been bastardised to reflect others attempts at humour, yup yup, but, like everything else, it's merely a form of active filtration. I don't see that as a bad thing, at all. Profiles can say only so much, status updates and forum posts etc tend to reveal a lot more. very true and very eloquent.. I suppose the ability to “read the room” as well at the intended audience is applicable here.. " Is the ability to read the room helpful, of course, especially if you are aiming for the maximum appeal and adoration. Maximum amusement, especially for oneself, has a totally different approach and has minimal need for it. Who wants to appease everyone at once, dreary stuff, if you're not careful you become the human equivalent of steamed rice, goes with most things, but rarely enjoyed alone. I'd rather burn bridges that lead nowhere fast, to show me to the promised land quicker. Active filtration going both ways haha. | |||
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"I'd say it's more piss-taking and teasing with your mates. You definitely need to know your audience though and the recipient of said banter must be able to give it back otherwise it's just bullying. That's my interpretation of it anyway "I agree | |||
"To me banter has always meant a witty and humorous exchange between equally matched people who understand each others humour. It seems to have evolved to mean dressing up extremely unpleasant bullying as jokes and humiliating the victim if they don't join in and take it " I would use the word to mean chitchat and good fun, basically to banter back and forth I do see it used in less pleasant ways though | |||
"'Banter' appears to be an excuse when someone is being tedious. It's not to be confused with wit "I must say I agree with this  | |||
"Usually it's an exchange of blows between equally matched opponents aware of the game they play. Can it be savage, of course, but that's between those that play and their own amusement. It's hilarious catching the side eyes from people unawares. Naturally, when looking for new opportunities for a chuckle, restraint and judgement might be prudent, but, if they're easily tilted at the gentle stuff it's obvious we won't get on. Now, has the term been bastardised to reflect others attempts at humour, yup yup, but, like everything else, it's merely a form of active filtration. I don't see that as a bad thing, at all. Profiles can say only so much, status updates and forum posts etc tend to reveal a lot more. very true and very eloquent.. I suppose the ability to “read the room” as well at the intended audience is applicable here.. Is the ability to read the room helpful, of course, especially if you are aiming for the maximum appeal and adoration. Maximum amusement, especially for oneself, has a totally different approach and has minimal need for it. Who wants to appease everyone at once, dreary stuff, if you're not careful you become the human equivalent of steamed rice, goes with most things, but rarely enjoyed alone. I'd rather burn bridges that lead nowhere fast, to show me to the promised land quicker. Active filtration going both ways haha. " I agree, I suppose my comment “read the room” is more like saying that one should look at the environment, the context, the desired consequence and the subject (ie person/people) within that, and then approach/react/banter accordingly, rather than applying it in a generic masses way.. | |||
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"My idea of banter is a battle of witty comebacks to and fro. A bit of sass." Says you, woman. | |||
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"My idea of banter is a battle of witty comebacks to and fro. A bit of sass. Says you, woman." Armwrestle? | |||
"My idea of banter is a battle of witty comebacks to and fro. A bit of sass. Says you, woman. Armwrestle?" Normal wrestle? | |||
"I agree, I suppose my comment “read the room” is more like saying that one should look at the environment, the context, the desired consequence and the subject (ie person/people) within that, and then approach/react/banter accordingly, rather than applying it in a generic masses way.. " Quite right, that in itself describes the scattershot, copy and paste, throwing mud at the wall and seeing what sticks approach used by many. Obviously it yields great results, hence your thread haha | |||
"Banter - an excuse to say something dumb/borderline offensive. I love playful dialogue, but in my experiance ‘banter’ is the fallback when someone has pushed too far. " I agree, I love banter but it's a shame that some people use the term as an excuse for being a dickhead | |||
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"Banter is different with different people. I’ve worked with builders and Machanic sun the past, and the banter I had with them is different to what I cal ‘banter’ with someone I want to flirt with. Flirty fun bs tee that’s none insulting is the best type for me, the type where everyone laughs along. "Isn't that just conversation.? | |||
"Banter is different with different people. I’ve worked with builders and Machanic sun the past, and the banter I had with them is different to what I cal ‘banter’ with someone I want to flirt with. Flirty fun bs tee that’s none insulting is the best type for me, the type where everyone laughs along.
Isn't that just conversation.? "Does your conversation make me laugh and want to buy you a beer? | |||
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