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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The missus bought a paperback
down Strachans, Saturday
I had a look into her bag
...'Twas Fifty Shades of Grey.
Well I just left her to it
At ten I went to bed,
And one hour later she appeared -
The sight filled me with dread....
In her left hand she held a rope,
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor
And then began to strip.
Well, fifty years or so ago
I might have had a peek,
But Doris hasn't weathered well,
She's eighty-four next week.
Watching Doris bump and grind
Could not have been much grimmer,
Then things went from bad to worse
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet
A couple of minutes later,
She put her teeth back in and said
That I must dominate her!
Now if you knew our Doris
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
From our last mad sex, I muttered.
She stood there nude, all naked like,
Bent forward just a bit...
So I thought - what the hell - stepped forward
And stood on her left tit!
Doris screamed, her teeth shot out,
My God, what had I done?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out
"Step on the other one!!"
Well readers, I can't tell no more
'Bout what occurred that day...
Suffice to stay, my jet black hair
Turned "Fifty Shades of Grey!"
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I havnt read this book and have no intention of doing so either. I guess she must have flicked through it quick cos apparently nothing actually happens untill about 3 quaters of the way through. I love erotica but cant feckin stand anything main stream. |
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"Not new. Been posted multiple times on here. Try a forum search and you'll see  "
So... you are saying people can only post something once and it's never to be posted again?? I had the same thing said when I posted this a couple of months back - couldn't find it on the forum search, and it depends what the thread title is! 
There will be people who haven't seen this before, and some will gain amusement from it second, third or fourth time around. 
Be nice and try welcoming, and by all means mention that it's been posted before - nicely!  |
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Ive not seen it before so a big thanx from me.....
Ive just told it to my ex fb and she loved it.....
Keep up the good work..... I know alot of ppl are sick of 50 shades but if thos dont make ppl lol theyve had a humour bypass  |
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"Not new. Been posted multiple times on here. Try a forum search and you'll see
So... you are saying people can only post something once and it's never to be posted again?? I had the same thing said when I posted this a couple of months back - couldn't find it on the forum search, and it depends what the thread title is!
There will be people who haven't seen this before, and some will gain amusement from it second, third or fourth time around.
Be nice and try welcoming, and by all means mention that it's been posted before - nicely! "
Yes sir |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Not new. Been posted multiple times on here. Try a forum search and you'll see
So... you are saying people can only post something once and it's never to be posted again?? I had the same thing said when I posted this a couple of months back - couldn't find it on the forum search, and it depends what the thread title is!
There will be people who haven't seen this before, and some will gain amusement from it second, third or fourth time around.
Be nice and try welcoming, and by all means mention that it's been posted before - nicely! Yes sir "
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"Never saw it before and thanks it made me laugh.....that sad fellow was prob trawling the forums waiting for somebody to post it again..then have his moment.  "
I have no doubt that it appealed to your intelligence as limited as it is |
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