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The quietness of the non conformist
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As a couple who are Atheist and are believers in a democratic Republic,this week has made us quite unpopular. The death of the Queen has mobilised an army of people who haven't thought about her for years offering thoughts and prayers to a god they haven't thought about and haven't referenced in any aspect of their lives. Each to there own but the constant ascertain that people are right and everyone else is wrong is draining. When you have a belief its good. If you get cross because when you state this belief it doesn't come back as an echo chamber of what you want to hear then its your problem. |
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"As a couple who are Atheist and are believers in a democratic Republic,this week has made us quite unpopular. The death of the Queen has mobilised an army of people who haven't thought about her for years offering thoughts and prayers to a god they haven't thought about and haven't referenced in any aspect of their lives. Each to there own but the constant ascertain that people are right and everyone else is wrong is draining. When you have a belief its good. If you get cross because when you state this belief it doesn't come back as an echo chamber of what you want to hear then its your problem. "
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I'll be honest I don't think we've noticed too much of it. We both liked the Queen as an individual but aren't fans of the existence of a royal family full stop and we're both atheists. But I certainly haven't taken much notice. Or perhaps its just that I don't care? I've certainly never felt obliged to agree |
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I'm in a similar position, OP. I feel a bit sad - I felt similarly when Pope John Paul died, sort of, a constant public figure, even if for something I'm not a part of (I'm not and have never been Catholic). I feel for those who are more affected
I'm just getting on with my life and ignoring the media. I'll probably spend the bonus bank holiday the same as I did the last one. Working. |
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"So what you've just posted is your problem then surely?
Or what is your point....
You have illustrated our point perfectly .Thankyou."
It's lonely being the outlier. Pressured to conform. Expected to feel and behave a certain way.
Is how I'd put it.
I'm not going to stand outside Westminster in rainbow singing from the Wizard of Oz, but it's weird to be almost expected to feel a certain way? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a couple who are Atheist and are believers in a democratic Republic,this week has made us quite unpopular. The death of the Queen has mobilised an army of people who haven't thought about her for years offering thoughts and prayers to a god they haven't thought about and haven't referenced in any aspect of their lives. Each to there own but the constant ascertain that people are right and everyone else is wrong is draining. When you have a belief its good. If you get cross because when you state this belief it doesn't come back as an echo chamber of what you want to hear then its your problem. "
Why has it made you unpopular? |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"offering thoughts and prayers to a god they haven't thought about and haven't referenced in any aspect of their lives. "
I’m not an atheist, royalist or republican so this weeks kind of passed me by , I’m vaguely aware it’s in the news, but why does the above bother you? How do you know they haven’t thought about their god? Are you a mind reader?
If you think faith has to expressed regularly to others and carried out in rituals like a show then you’ve really not understood what it is so it’s no surprise you’ve offended people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's always something.
Society loves to divide itself.
Brexit.
Corbyn.
Covid.
Now this.
You can be sure though, that the media will be behind the divide too.
They tell us how to feel, that to believe etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The UK Parliament is the longest running democratically elected body in the world. In any meaningful way this is a Republic, more democratic than the US in almost every respect.
The difference between Uk monarchy and anyone with money in a “republican” state are zero other than the monarchy have an awareness they need to justify that privilege through service, in a republic they justify privilege through wealth.
Get rid of the royals and you’ll still have people living a life of utter privilege. Only now they feel no duty towards you, you’re just a resource. I’d rather have the ones who live by their odd rules and feel they serve the country. |
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"The UK Parliament is the longest running democratically elected body in the world. In any meaningful way this is a Republic, more democratic than the US in almost every respect.
The difference between Uk monarchy and anyone with money in a “republican” state are zero other than the monarchy have an awareness they need to justify that privilege through service, in a republic they justify privilege through wealth.
Get rid of the royals and you’ll still have people living a life of utter privilege. Only now they feel no duty towards you, you’re just a resource. I’d rather have the ones who live by their odd rules and feel they serve the country. "
Ok. But this is a post about how the OP feels alone in a sea of monarchist sentiment? |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
There does seem to be an element of competitive grieving going on, and also people acting as grief police, eager to point out how wrong people are not to pay what they see as an appropriate level of respect.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The UK Parliament is the longest running democratically elected body in the world. In any meaningful way this is a Republic, more democratic than the US in almost every respect.
The difference between Uk monarchy and anyone with money in a “republican” state are zero other than the monarchy have an awareness they need to justify that privilege through service, in a republic they justify privilege through wealth.
Get rid of the royals and you’ll still have people living a life of utter privilege. Only now they feel no duty towards you, you’re just a resource. I’d rather have the ones who live by their odd rules and feel they serve the country.
Ok. But this is a post about how the OP feels alone in a sea of monarchist sentiment?"
The op defined the issues as arising from being atheist and republican. |
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"As a couple who are Atheist and are believers in a democratic Republic,this week has made us quite unpopular. The death of the Queen has mobilised an army of people who haven't thought about her for years offering thoughts and prayers to a god they haven't thought about and haven't referenced in any aspect of their lives. Each to there own but the constant ascertain that people are right and everyone else is wrong is draining. When you have a belief its good. If you get cross because when you state this belief it doesn't come back as an echo chamber of what you want to hear then its your problem. "
Im guessing social media activity has to you being unpopular.
This is inevitable and can be applied to most walks of life. Once social media becomes involved, echo chambers spawn and woe betide those who dont fall in line.
Life is so much better unplugged from social media |
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"As a couple who are Atheist and are believers in a democratic Republic,this week has made us quite unpopular. The death of the Queen has mobilised an army of people who haven't thought about her for years offering thoughts and prayers to a god they haven't thought about and haven't referenced in any aspect of their lives. Each to there own but the constant ascertain that people are right and everyone else is wrong is draining. When you have a belief its good. If you get cross because when you state this belief it doesn't come back as an echo chamber of what you want to hear then its your problem. "
Not quite sure why it’s made you unpopular unless you’ve been celebrating the Queen’s demise in which case you are bound to upset some people.
This woman has been a constant in most peoples lives and that’s why it’s affected a lot of people.
Personally I didn’t mind the Queen…they are a fucked up family like most are. I haven’t switched on the TV to watch it all. I’m not that bothered by it. It’ll make no difference in my life but I fully respect that it does make a difference to a lot of people.
And I think that’s the bottom line - doesn’t matter what your views are, it’s respecting someone who has different views and just allowing them to express them.
K |
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"There does seem to be an element of competitive grieving going on, and also people acting as grief police, eager to point out how wrong people are not to pay what they see as an appropriate level of respect. "
Totally this. Its bad enough that the news has turned into a constant stream of crowds and coffin watching, with the reporters not actually having anything interesting to say. It feels like it's being totally forced upon me, as someone who isn't interested in the royals. If you look at the BBC News site you would think nothing else is happening in the world |
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"As a couple who are Atheist and are believers in a democratic Republic,this week has made us quite unpopular. The death of the Queen has mobilised an army of people who haven't thought about her for years offering thoughts and prayers to a god they haven't thought about and haven't referenced in any aspect of their lives. Each to there own but the constant ascertain that people are right and everyone else is wrong is draining. When you have a belief its good. If you get cross because when you state this belief it doesn't come back as an echo chamber of what you want to hear then its your problem. "
I hear what you are saying. However, it's everybody's problem. We are increasingly becoming a world where views seem to be polarised, binary , black and white and those expressing a view not held by the mob on social media will not only not be listened to but will be pointed at , screamed at and silenced.
Do not adopt their tactics but do not be silenced. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There does seem to be an element of competitive grieving going on, and also people acting as grief police, eager to point out how wrong people are not to pay what they see as an appropriate level of respect. "
THIS! This is what annoys me most about it all! |
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It feels just like when Han Solo died.
It’s very sad at first, then for a short period quite shocking, then a little while afterwards I had a few handfuls of popcorn and then forgot about it until someone mentioned it again.
Then I pretended to be really bothered but in all truth It’s a bit irrelevant to my existence. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have great sympathy for the family who have lost their matriarch and understand that the loss of such a prominent figure is a shock and upsetting for many. But, she was in her 90s, has not been in the best of health for a while and sadly, part of life is the ending of it.
Yep. Old lady died, it's sad. I've got other things to deal with.
Shouting 'God save the king' isn't going to make the blindest bit of difference to Charle's life. That's what good health care and science is for. |
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"The UK Parliament is the longest running democratically elected body in the world. In any meaningful way this is a Republic, more democratic than the US in almost every respect.
The difference between Uk monarchy and anyone with money in a “republican” state are zero other than the monarchy have an awareness they need to justify that privilege through service, in a republic they justify privilege through wealth.
Get rid of the royals and you’ll still have people living a life of utter privilege. Only now they feel no duty towards you, you’re just a resource. I’d rather have the ones who live by their odd rules and feel they serve the country.
Ok. But this is a post about how the OP feels alone in a sea of monarchist sentiment?
The op defined the issues as arising from being atheist and republican. "
Because they're a republican, they feel alienated from what a poster has called competitive grieving. I'm inclined to agree.
And I think your post is probably an example of what they're talking about. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"So what you've just posted is your problem then surely?
Or what is your point....
You have illustrated our point perfectly .Thankyou.
It's lonely being the outlier. Pressured to conform. Expected to feel and behave a certain way.
Is how I'd put it.
I'm not going to stand outside Westminster in rainbow singing from the Wizard of Oz, but it's weird to be almost expected to feel a certain way?"
This. 
I've been moaned at because I continued to work when I apparently should have stopped to show respect in a period of mourning. I'm pretty sure the Queen wouldn't have wanted a self employed sole trader to lose earnings in an economic climate such as we currently live in just because she happened to pass away.
I recieved death stares and snide comments from some for working on Saturday whilst not wearing a black armband.
I've been questioned as to why I have no interest in heading to London like others.
It's not from any lack of respect. That can be shown in a myriad of ways that don't need to be displayed publicly. I'm indifferent to many royals but recognise the lifetime of work some have undertaken. I've met Charles and thought him a pleasant chap. But I would never expect them to drop everything, stop work and do anything different should a relative of mine pass away. Grief and mourning are personal things.
An expectancy that all should feel the same following the death of a royal or any celebrity, is both ridiculous and unrealistic.
A |
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"It feels just like when Han Solo died.
It’s very sad at first, then for a short period quite shocking, then a little while afterwards I had a few handfuls of popcorn and then forgot about it until someone mentioned it again.
Then I pretended to be really bothered but in all truth It’s a bit irrelevant to my existence."
Han has died?  |
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"So what you've just posted is your problem then surely?
Or what is your point....
You have illustrated our point perfectly .Thankyou.
It's lonely being the outlier. Pressured to conform. Expected to feel and behave a certain way.
Is how I'd put it.
I'm not going to stand outside Westminster in rainbow singing from the Wizard of Oz, but it's weird to be almost expected to feel a certain way?
This.
I've been moaned at because I continued to work when I apparently should have stopped to show respect in a period of mourning. I'm pretty sure the Queen wouldn't have wanted a self employed sole trader to lose earnings in an economic climate such as we currently live in just because she happened to pass away.
I recieved death stares and snide comments from some for working on Saturday whilst not wearing a black armband.
I've been questioned as to why I have no interest in heading to London like others.
It's not from any lack of respect. That can be shown in a myriad of ways that don't need to be displayed publicly. I'm indifferent to many royals but recognise the lifetime of work some have undertaken. I've met Charles and thought him a pleasant chap. But I would never expect them to drop everything, stop work and do anything different should a relative of mine pass away. Grief and mourning are personal things.
An expectancy that all should feel the same following the death of a royal or any celebrity, is both ridiculous and unrealistic.
A"
Absolutely.
Grief is personal, I think. If people want to display that collectively that's up to them. But as you say, no one can expect others to feel or act as they do. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
OP, I think it can depend on the your circles of contact, and how you read social media.
In my circles I am the theist and have strong, warm feelings about the late Queen's life of duty and service. I am a lone voice in my family, friends and most colleagues.
I think the Queen's death has reminded people of impermanence and the comfort of systems of continuity. Plus, Brits love a mass event. (Remember the outpouring for Diana's death, the crowds to get near the gates and lay a bunch of flowers, and the sheer numbers of people lining the route of the cortege?)
It is a little ridiculous the police are arresting and charging people for normal dissent. How is holding up a blank piece of paper offensive or a threat? It is also part of the Great British tradition for occasions such as these.
I'm sorry you are experiencing the drain of holding a countervailing views. Many of us experience this as just day to day living on other subjects.
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I hear you OP, I'm not entirely sure what I think of the circus that is unfolding.
That's all I know when a dear friend of mine passed away and the TV and newspapers were covering the story. It was horrible and dehumanising, and so many people with so many hollow words. I just don't see what is respectful about watching a family mourn. Taking selfies outside Buckingham palace, interviewed on TV commenting on the good atmosphere. In the public's eye or not people deserve some dignity to grieve. Doesn't sit right with me in all honesty, but that makes me wrong according to some  |
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This happens all the time over any significant event, likers and haters will never get on and many couldn't even start to understand the other sides point of view, after all you don't have to agree with an opinion, to respect that another person has it.
But yes unfortunately they who shout loudest must always be heard 
I hope that there is not too much grief to you from those with differing opinions to yourselves OP. I fear there will be more discontent in the days to come as the funeral approaches |
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I don't think there's many people in England who haven't thought about the Queen in years considering we celebrated and had an extra bank holiday for her Jubilee this year.
Personally I'm indifferent about the whole thing. |
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"I hear you OP, I'm not entirely sure what I think of the circus that is unfolding.
That's all I know when a dear friend of mine passed away and the TV and newspapers were covering the story. It was horrible and dehumanising, and so many people with so many hollow words. I just don't see what is respectful about watching a family mourn. Taking selfies outside Buckingham palace, interviewed on TV commenting on the good atmosphere. In the public's eye or not people deserve some dignity to grieve. Doesn't sit right with me in all honesty, but that makes me wrong according to some "
A good friend of mine died in unfortunate circumstances a decade ago and the media was... well. My feelings are not fit for print. Her funeral (she was not a public figure) required police to be called. |
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"OP, I think it can depend on the your circles of contact, and how you read social media.
In my circles I am the theist and have strong, warm feelings about the late Queen's life of duty and service. I am a lone voice in my family, friends and most colleagues.
I think the Queen's death has reminded people of impermanence and the comfort of systems of continuity. Plus, Brits love a mass event. (Remember the outpouring for Diana's death, the crowds to get near the gates and lay a bunch of flowers, and the sheer numbers of people lining the route of the cortege?)
It is a little ridiculous the police are arresting and charging people for normal dissent. How is holding up a blank piece of paper offensive or a threat? It is also part of the Great British tradition for occasions such as these.
I'm sorry you are experiencing the drain of holding a countervailing views. Many of us experience this as just day to day living on other subjects.
"
This is wise. Thank you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So what you've just posted is your problem then surely?
Or what is your point....
You have illustrated our point perfectly .Thankyou."
I'm simply following the logic of your original post:
'When you have a belief its good. If you get cross because when you state this belief it doesn't come back as an echo chamber of what you want to hear then its your problem.'
Surely this means that the issues each individual experiences as a direct result of their personally held beliefs/ likes/ followings/ etc are theirs to bear and not the responsibility of others.
Or have I missed something in your original post? |
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"As a couple who are Atheist and are believers in a democratic Republic,this week has made us quite unpopular. The death of the Queen has mobilised an army of people who haven't thought about her for years offering thoughts and prayers to a god they haven't thought about and haven't referenced in any aspect of their lives. Each to there own but the constant ascertain that people are right and everyone else is wrong is draining. When you have a belief its good. If you get cross because when you state this belief it doesn't come back as an echo chamber of what you want to hear then its your problem. "
You're not alone in this, I've mostly kept my head below the parapet this week as my anti monarchy sentiments would probably not be well received - I do however believe that the abolition of the monarchy is closer now than ever before |
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I will be ignoring basically all of the fuss. I get that so many people feel that they have some kind of emotional connection with it all, but I have enough pressure on me already. My father was diagnosed with advanced liver cancer last Monday, so I am more concerned with the fact that it's damn near impossible for him to get a hospice bed to have a place to die with some dignity, than I am with the millions upon millions of pounds that are now being spent on public mourning. I know that I am feeling very raw at the moment, but personally I think this would be a far better country if those at the top were accorded no greater privilege than any ordinary person.
We are going into a winter where millions of people in the UK are going to be cold and hungry, many will be evicted from their homes, and all the government ministers are taking yet more paid holidays just because a particular old lady has died. Johnson, Truss and all the others haven't done an honest days work since they first got into power, and now they are further sponging off the people instead of working bloody hard at trying to fix the problems that this country has.
The one good thing about the royal family is that the Queen has filled a space that otherwise would be snapped up by politicians that are basically the worst possible examples of humanity. However I find it very hard to forgive that she was quiet while the state of the country degenerated so much, while the prime minister and all his jolly mates embezzled billions upon billions of taxpayers money, while Johnson just outright lied to her. When the chief executive officer of the country is utterly unable to act, it really is time to question whether the system is fit for purpose.
Apologies to those who are feeling very real grief at the death of Her Majesty. My anger is in no way directed at you, it is wholly directed at the unjust system that affords so much to those who already have it, by taking away from those who do not. |
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By *unner6969Man
over a year ago
Bucks/London/Oxford |
"As a couple who are Atheist and are believers in a democratic Republic,this week has made us quite unpopular. The death of the Queen has mobilised an army of people who haven't thought about her for years offering thoughts and prayers to a god they haven't thought about and haven't referenced in any aspect of their lives. Each to there own but the constant ascertain that people are right and everyone else is wrong is draining. When you have a belief its good. If you get cross because when you state this belief it doesn't come back as an echo chamber of what you want to hear then its your problem. "
It is certainly true that media bias has leant towards royalists and that no coverage has represented republicans (to my knowledge).
I’m neither a monarchist, nor a republican. I am an atheist. Boring as I find all this coverage and cringeworthy as I find all the “God” stuff, I’m still happy to “Let every dog have its day”. But all this media-led false grief does get on my male mammary glands. I just choose not to watch, or listen, to it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are times to be respectful. It’s like if any other person died, I wouldn’t suddenly start antagonising those that are upset.
Just allow people their time and space to do what they want and feel what they want. If you disagree cool, but keep it to yourself until an appropriate time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven't felt unpopular. But I've been shocked at the extent to which the media, the internet, basically everything has covered events.
In terms of how people have reacted, I think it's partly the outcome to an increasingly nationalist and jingoistic push for the past decade or so (well since the Tories took power although the shift to the right seems to be happening everywhere, not just here).
The competitive mourning seems like a knock on from similar attitudes and behaviour during the pandemic (nobody should wear masks... to how dare you not wear a mask) basically people follow the crowd and the media still drive that crowd which is weird in this day and age.
Or maybe like you feel, I'm just more out of step than I realise. And that's not unlikely and I'm not much bothered. It'll be over soon... |
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"As a couple who are Atheist and are believers in a democratic Republic,this week has made us quite unpopular. The death of the Queen has mobilised an army of people who haven't thought about her for years offering thoughts and prayers to a god they haven't thought about and haven't referenced in any aspect of their lives. Each to there own but the constant ascertain that people are right and everyone else is wrong is draining. When you have a belief its good. If you get cross because when you state this belief it doesn't come back as an echo chamber of what you want to hear then its your problem. "
Don't understand your post. Why don't you leave people who have different beliefs and values to you alone? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just feel like this is an ill timed discussion to have, immediately after a death....
"
When would be a good time?
Makes me laugh that people can get indignant about how others debate this on a sex site. Because that's truly respectful right?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't watch the news so I don't see what competition mourning is, but I get the idea.
Media always hypes things, not sure why this is any different.
I'm not pro or anti monarchy but I do feel there are better times for discussions around tradition and why we have them. |
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"I just feel like this is an ill timed discussion to have, immediately after a death....
When would be a good time?
Makes me laugh that people can get indignant about how others debate this on a sex site. Because that's truly respectful right?
"
Yes. The alienation is also something currently going on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just feel like this is an ill timed discussion to have, immediately after a death....
When would be a good time?
Makes me laugh that people can get indignant about how others debate this on a sex site. Because that's truly respectful right?
"
If you took what I wrote as me being indignant then you misunderstood me.
You seem a bit angry though.
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"I just feel like this is an ill timed discussion to have, immediately after a death....
When would be a good time?
Makes me laugh that people can get indignant about how others debate this on a sex site. Because that's truly respectful right?
If you took what I wrote as me being indignant then you misunderstood me.
You seem a bit angry though.
"
He doesn't seem angry to me. |
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"As a couple who are Atheist and are believers in a democratic Republic,this week has made us quite unpopular. The death of the Queen has mobilised an army of people who haven't thought about her for years offering thoughts and prayers to a god they haven't thought about and haven't referenced in any aspect of their lives. Each to there own but the constant ascertain that people are right and everyone else is wrong is draining. When you have a belief its good. If you get cross because when you state this belief it doesn't come back as an echo chamber of what you want to hear then its your problem. "
Meh, I state what I am and who I am. Follow my principles of Christianity, Science and psychotherapy and meet people where they are and leave them there. In fact as someone who does believe in God and appreciates the royal family, I'm less triggered than everyone else it seems. Jesus would tell me follow the local customs and then return to the task at hand. Science tells me that everyone has to die and it's normal to feel sad. My Psychotherapist will tell me focus on the now and my own life and self care. QE2 RIP would state it is my duty to get on a plane tomorrow and go help my mother paint her kitchen while everyone else is freaking out. It's not like they cancelled my flight/holiday. So Meh. Believe what you want to believe, I don't need people to agree with everything I say and I definitely feel no need to try and convince people of anything.
We have a saying where I'm from: Drink water and mind my business. What other people believe is none of my business. |
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"I just feel like this is an ill timed discussion to have, immediately after a death....
When would be a good time?
Makes me laugh that people can get indignant about how others debate this on a sex site. Because that's truly respectful right?
If you took what I wrote as me being indignant then you misunderstood me.
You seem a bit angry though.
"
There do seem to be quite a lot of folks who are angry and seem to want to make points right now. Right now. Not after the mourning period. But smack in the middle of it. Seems bizarre. |
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"I just feel like this is an ill timed discussion to have, immediately after a death....
When would be a good time?
Makes me laugh that people can get indignant about how others debate this on a sex site. Because that's truly respectful right?
If you took what I wrote as me being indignant then you misunderstood me.
You seem a bit angry though.
There do seem to be quite a lot of folks who are angry and seem to want to make points right now. Right now. Not after the mourning period. But smack in the middle of it. Seems bizarre. "
So only certain people should be permitted to speak? |
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"I'm in a similar position, OP. I feel a bit sad - I felt similarly when Pope John Paul died, sort of, a constant public figure, even if for something I'm not a part of (I'm not and have never been Catholic). I feel for those who are more affected
I'm just getting on with my life and ignoring the media. I'll probably spend the bonus bank holiday the same as I did the last one. Working."
Facts at 40, I've had enough of media to last a lifetime. I don't even watch the weather report anymore. I just google the weather and get on with my day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just feel like this is an ill timed discussion to have, immediately after a death....
When would be a good time?
Makes me laugh that people can get indignant about how others debate this on a sex site. Because that's truly respectful right?
If you took what I wrote as me being indignant then you misunderstood me.
You seem a bit angry though.
"
If you took what I wrote as me being angry then you misunderstood me.
I'll reword:
So when would be an appropriate time for others to discuss their thoughts that may be contrary to the majority mood?
Do you feel HRH would feel suitably respected by the many discussions about her on this swingers' site?
Do you feel she would be thankful that some swingers are ensuring she is given due respect on this swingers' site?
Thank you for permitting such debate at this difficult time |
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"So what you've just posted is your problem then surely?
Or what is your point....
You have illustrated our point perfectly .Thankyou.
It's lonely being the outlier. Pressured to conform. Expected to feel and behave a certain way.
Is how I'd put it.
I'm not going to stand outside Westminster in rainbow singing from the Wizard of Oz, but it's weird to be almost expected to feel a certain way?"
I don't feel any need to conform at all....I don't know if that they neurodivergent brain or the therapy or the fact that I've always been a maverick.....conform? Never. I'm half British and Half Republican. QE2 RIP signed the legal paperwork for colonial independence and the installation of Republican president as head of state for my other country....I'm not choosing between the two I can live my life in both and therefore I'm viewed as a monarchist and a republican.
I never understood why people are expected to conform to something that is not based in their reality one bit...that's a good way to have poor mental health. |
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"I'm in a similar position, OP. I feel a bit sad - I felt similarly when Pope John Paul died, sort of, a constant public figure, even if for something I'm not a part of (I'm not and have never been Catholic). I feel for those who are more affected
I'm just getting on with my life and ignoring the media. I'll probably spend the bonus bank holiday the same as I did the last one. Working.
Facts at 40, I've had enough of media to last a lifetime. I don't even watch the weather report anymore. I just google the weather and get on with my day."
Absolutely. It's probably more disruptive for those who watch television - I don't.
I'm probably fortunate I work from home, because I don't know what I'd say if someone told me I had to feel a certain way. I don't. And my feelings are not up for negotiation. *Shrug* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just feel like this is an ill timed discussion to have, immediately after a death....
When would be a good time?
Makes me laugh that people can get indignant about how others debate this on a sex site. Because that's truly respectful right?
If you took what I wrote as me being indignant then you misunderstood me.
You seem a bit angry though.
If you took what I wrote as me being angry then you misunderstood me.
I'll reword:
So when would be an appropriate time for others to discuss their thoughts that may be contrary to the majority mood?
Do you feel HRH would feel suitably respected by the many discussions about her on this swingers' site?
Do you feel she would be thankful that some swingers are ensuring she is given due respect on this swingers' site?
Thank you for permitting such debate at this difficult time "
Honestly, I don't care that much. |
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"offering thoughts and prayers to a god they haven't thought about and haven't referenced in any aspect of their lives.
I’m not an atheist, royalist or republican so this weeks kind of passed me by , I’m vaguely aware it’s in the news, but why does the above bother you? How do you know they haven’t thought about their god? Are you a mind reader?
If you think faith has to expressed regularly to others and carried out in rituals like a show then you’ve really not understood what it is so it’s no surprise you’ve offended people "
My religion is a private and personal thing for me and I sit in a support group with people who have been abused and traumatised by religion so I'm not evangelical or orthodox or pious or fundamentalist.....I don't want my beliefs to be foisted on people to cause them harm. I don't go to church regularly but that's because I feel the need to focus on other aspects of my life. If I feel the need, I just walk in to any church that is open and stay a while. No need to beat people over the head with a religious text.
If people think I'm a numpty for believing in God and not behaving like the zealous pious, that's their problem not mine.
Yesterday at work a poor lad was triggered when I said that I respected QE2 RIP...literally had a meltdown over me a person who is black and half non-British respecting the monarchy that legalised colonialism and sl@v*ry in the first place. If I paid for all the crap my ancestors did....I'd never make it out of the 9 gates of hell. |
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"There's always something.
Society loves to divide itself.
Brexit.
Corbyn.
Covid.
Now this.
You can be sure though, that the media will be behind the divide too.
They tell us how to feel, what to believe etc"
I'm never going to swallow the Koolaid that the cult media tries to make us drink. I know exactly what propaganda is and I make my own decisions based on science, my faith and psychotherapy.
If people want to make their own decisions on what the media tells them go right ahead. Let me grab my popcorn. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not sure what all this fuss is about?
You do you and let others do them.
Offence can be taken and found everywhere, it's up to you if you wish to take it!!
I'm assuming op, that you will be working on monday? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The UK Parliament is the longest running democratically elected body in the world. In any meaningful way this is a Republic, more democratic than the US in almost every respect.
The difference between Uk monarchy and anyone with money in a “republican” state are zero other than the monarchy have an awareness they need to justify that privilege through service, in a republic they justify privilege through wealth.
Get rid of the royals and you’ll still have people living a life of utter privilege. Only now they feel no duty towards you, you’re just a resource. I’d rather have the ones who live by their odd rules and feel they serve the country.
Ok. But this is a post about how the OP feels alone in a sea of monarchist sentiment?"
OP is not alone I’ve never been a royalist but out of respect this is a time to just fade into the background and quietly ignore all what’s going on. Haven’t put the news on for days as can’t watch the same thing day in day out. I didn’t even know it is a Bank holiday next Monday until a friend told me. |
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"There does seem to be an element of competitive grieving going on, and also people acting as grief police, eager to point out how wrong people are not to pay what they see as an appropriate level of respect.
Totally this. Its bad enough that the news has turned into a constant stream of crowds and coffin watching, with the reporters not actually having anything interesting to say. It feels like it's being totally forced upon me, as someone who isn't interested in the royals. If you look at the BBC News site you would think nothing else is happening in the world "
I follow Caribbean news lad. Who discarded used coconuts husks on the beach today? It's far more entertaining than the BBC. I cycle to work. I do zoom meetings and I check accu for the weather. I have enough anxiety without adding News media. Luckily my Facebook friends are always showing pictures of cats and puppies and epic guitar riffs. |
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"I just feel like this is an ill timed discussion to have, immediately after a death....
When would be a good time?
Makes me laugh that people can get indignant about how others debate this on a sex site. Because that's truly respectful right?
If you took what I wrote as me being indignant then you misunderstood me.
You seem a bit angry though.
There do seem to be quite a lot of folks who are angry and seem to want to make points right now. Right now. Not after the mourning period. But smack in the middle of it. Seems bizarre.
So only certain people should be permitted to speak?"
Did I say that?
Grown ups should not go out of their way to be offensive to other people who have different values and beliefs to them. Pick your moments if you must. Can't see why anyone who isn't "into it" needs to continue to make points about how much they aren't into it. Let it go for a bit then if necessary have the debate then. It just seems unnecessarily puerile. Let people have their moment.... Or not. |
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"So what you've just posted is your problem then surely?
Or what is your point....
You have illustrated our point perfectly .Thankyou.
It's lonely being the outlier. Pressured to conform. Expected to feel and behave a certain way.
Is how I'd put it.
I'm not going to stand outside Westminster in rainbow singing from the Wizard of Oz, but it's weird to be almost expected to feel a certain way?
This.
I've been moaned at because I continued to work when I apparently should have stopped to show respect in a period of mourning. I'm pretty sure the Queen wouldn't have wanted a self employed sole trader to lose earnings in an economic climate such as we currently live in just because she happened to pass away.
I recieved death stares and snide comments from some for working on Saturday whilst not wearing a black armband.
I've been questioned as to why I have no interest in heading to London like others.
It's not from any lack of respect. That can be shown in a myriad of ways that don't need to be displayed publicly. I'm indifferent to many royals but recognise the lifetime of work some have undertaken. I've met Charles and thought him a pleasant chap. But I would never expect them to drop everything, stop work and do anything different should a relative of mine pass away. Grief and mourning are personal things.
An expectancy that all should feel the same following the death of a royal or any celebrity, is both ridiculous and unrealistic.
A"
I suddenly feel very lucky to live in London where 50 per cent of the population come from another country or culture other than British. We were at work this weekend....no one forced anyone to wear the armband...in fact only me and the Italian supervisor wore it. None of the customers even mentioned QE2 RIP to me at all. And none of us are going down to central London ... I'm hopping on a plane to the Caribbean..not cancelling my holiday at all...No one is telling me I'm being inappropriate...death stares and snide comments....that's a bit extreme...isn't it?.....and I think I'm odd...
methinks you might need some new friends/associates/colleagues/family?. lol!   We call them bad-mind people in the Caribbean....avoid at all costs. |
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"I hear you OP, I'm not entirely sure what I think of the circus that is unfolding.
That's all I know when a dear friend of mine passed away and the TV and newspapers were covering the story. It was horrible and dehumanising, and so many people with so many hollow words. I just don't see what is respectful about watching a family mourn. Taking selfies outside Buckingham palace, interviewed on TV commenting on the good atmosphere. In the public's eye or not people deserve some dignity to grieve. Doesn't sit right with me in all honesty, but that makes me wrong according to some "
I'm over here thinking: Meh not my circus and I'm not a performing monkey. I'ma stay in my lane and I have enough on my plate. |
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"I hear you OP, I'm not entirely sure what I think of the circus that is unfolding.
That's all I know when a dear friend of mine passed away and the TV and newspapers were covering the story. It was horrible and dehumanising, and so many people with so many hollow words. I just don't see what is respectful about watching a family mourn. Taking selfies outside Buckingham palace, interviewed on TV commenting on the good atmosphere. In the public's eye or not people deserve some dignity to grieve. Doesn't sit right with me in all honesty, but that makes me wrong according to some
A good friend of mine died in unfortunate circumstances a decade ago and the media was... well. My feelings are not fit for print. Her funeral (she was not a public figure) required police to be called."
Oh dear dreadful. Sorry that happened. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a couple who are Atheist and are believers in a democratic Republic,this week has made us quite unpopular. The death of the Queen has mobilised an army of people who haven't thought about her for years offering thoughts and prayers to a god they haven't thought about and haven't referenced in any aspect of their lives. Each to there own but the constant ascertain that people are right and everyone else is wrong is draining. When you have a belief its good. If you get cross because when you state this belief it doesn't come back as an echo chamber of what you want to hear then its your problem. "
To be fair OP a Monarch hasn't died in over 70 years so you it's not really a problem you've had to grapple with regularly. |
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"I will be ignoring basically all of the fuss. I get that so many people feel that they have some kind of emotional connection with it all, but I have enough pressure on me already. My father was diagnosed with advanced liver cancer last Monday, so I am more concerned with the fact that it's damn near impossible for him to get a hospice bed to have a place to die with some dignity, than I am with the millions upon millions of pounds that are now being spent on public mourning. I know that I am feeling very raw at the moment, but personally I think this would be a far better country if those at the top were accorded no greater privilege than any ordinary person.
We are going into a winter where millions of people in the UK are going to be cold and hungry, many will be evicted from their homes, and all the government ministers are taking yet more paid holidays just because a particular old lady has died. Johnson, Truss and all the others haven't done an honest days work since they first got into power, and now they are further sponging off the people instead of working bloody hard at trying to fix the problems that this country has.
The one good thing about the royal family is that the Queen has filled a space that otherwise would be snapped up by politicians that are basically the worst possible examples of humanity. However I find it very hard to forgive that she was quiet while the state of the country degenerated so much, while the prime minister and all his jolly mates embezzled billions upon billions of taxpayers money, while Johnson just outright lied to her. When the chief executive officer of the country is utterly unable to act, it really is time to question whether the system is fit for purpose.
Apologies to those who are feeling very real grief at the death of Her Majesty. My anger is in no way directed at you, it is wholly directed at the unjust system that affords so much to those who already have it, by taking away from those who do not."
Sorry about your Dad. That's shitty all around.
The Queen/King is ceremonial in power. If it's any consolation, the last monarch that tried to go against Parliament had their head chopped off (Charlie numero uno).... when the de facto Republican ruler of the Commonwealth of England died( Cromwell).. it caused another constitutional crisis so they reverted back to having a monarch.
Personally, I don't look to the head of state or politicians to make my life any better. I learn the system and then how to beat it. That's all. I'll charge my electrical items in the library, church, community centre and leisure centre.
I'm a maverick and I live a semi-hippie lifestyle....I could never live tied to the rat race and how much money they spend. |
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"I'm in a similar position, OP. I feel a bit sad - I felt similarly when Pope John Paul died, sort of, a constant public figure, even if for something I'm not a part of (I'm not and have never been Catholic). I feel for those who are more affected
I'm just getting on with my life and ignoring the media. I'll probably spend the bonus bank holiday the same as I did the last one. Working.
Facts at 40, I've had enough of media to last a lifetime. I don't even watch the weather report anymore. I just google the weather and get on with my day.
Absolutely. It's probably more disruptive for those who watch television - I don't.
I'm probably fortunate I work from home, because I don't know what I'd say if someone told me I had to feel a certain way. I don't. And my feelings are not up for negotiation. *Shrug*"
Colleague at work got mad at me for saying I rated QE2 RIP. Poor lad he was only young so I let him have his rant. And I know he's got a lot of pressure up against him as a youth in London. If I had grown up here I'd be having a rant too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So what you've just posted is your problem then surely?
Or what is your point....
You have illustrated our point perfectly .Thankyou."
Can I firstly say. Midlands is not generally a place of supporters of a Republic. Yet the silly comment you have tagged is a fine example of your point. We claim to be a tolerate nation until we have an opinion that cannot be tolerated by those who claim to be tolerant.. |
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"As a couple who are Atheist and are believers in a democratic Republic,this week has made us quite unpopular. The death of the Queen has mobilised an army of people who haven't thought about her for years offering thoughts and prayers to a god they haven't thought about and haven't referenced in any aspect of their lives. Each to there own but the constant ascertain that people are right and everyone else is wrong is draining. When you have a belief its good. If you get cross because when you state this belief it doesn't come back as an echo chamber of what you want to hear then its your problem.
To be fair OP a Monarch hasn't died in over 70 years so you it's not really a problem you've had to grapple with regularly."
Cackle..... will be bent out of shape if Charlie three goes before them...not another blooming royal state funeral....whose paying for all these dead royals! On said they hadn't recovered from when Diana went and their footie was cancelled on TV.... My..my... a TV grudge for 25 years!! One declared that he paid for cable so he should be able to watch whatever he wants whenever he wants.
better start praying God save the king so that we don't have another funeral too soon.....is this what happened when Diana went? People complained?
Wouldn't be English/British if there wasn't a complaint involved. That's one tradition that will probably never go away. |
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"So what you've just posted is your problem then surely?
Or what is your point....
You have illustrated our point perfectly .Thankyou.
Can I firstly say. Midlands is not generally a place of supporters of a Republic. Yet the silly comment you have tagged is a fine example of your point. We claim to be a tolerate nation until we have an opinion that cannot be tolerated by those who claim to be tolerant.. "
If you want to practice tolerance every day, to come to London. lol! Not a fat chance for most people outside of London. When I told my colleagues in Nottingham that I was moving to London, they thought I was completely mad. I'm only half mad.
Nothing tests your tolerance more than being stuck on the bus between a mam with a screaming babe, a Latina speaking Spanish out loud on Facetime and a West African singing the latest song with his headphones in...so he can't hear you when you ask him to stop singing. lol! many times I've just hopped off the bus and walked.
Somehow I don't see the areas that voted Conservatives, being the beacon of Republicanism...... Literally chose a Toff to be prime minister...for the last few years...I suspect Mrs Truss will go the way of Mrs May....too liberal...with big boobs and sexy stockings...
You have to know where you live. I live next door to a pub that you'd probably be glassed if you disrespected the Queen...not sure if they like Charles but I wouldn't chance it in there. I went round for a bit of birthday cake and they had hidden the knives to slice the cake with. lol! Keep your head down. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So what you've just posted is your problem then surely?
Or what is your point....
You have illustrated our point perfectly .Thankyou.
Can I firstly say. Midlands is not generally a place of supporters of a Republic. Yet the silly comment you have tagged is a fine example of your point. We claim to be a tolerate nation until we have an opinion that cannot be tolerated by those who claim to be tolerant.. "
In your eagerness to congratulate yourselves you both completely missed my point
And I'm neither religious nor royalist so your point holds no water. I'm parsing out the logic of the original point. Do try to keep up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So what you've just posted is your problem then surely?
Or what is your point....
You have illustrated our point perfectly .Thankyou.
Can I firstly say. Midlands is not generally a place of supporters of a Republic. Yet the silly comment you have tagged is a fine example of your point. We claim to be a tolerate nation until we have an opinion that cannot be tolerated by those who claim to be tolerant..
If you want to practice tolerance every day, to come to London. lol! Not a fat chance for most people outside of London. When I told my colleagues in Nottingham that I was moving to London, they thought I was completely mad. I'm only half mad.
Nothing tests your tolerance more than being stuck on the bus between a mam with a screaming babe, a Latina speaking Spanish out loud on Facetime and a West African singing the latest song with his headphones in...so he can't hear you when you ask him to stop singing. lol! many times I've just hopped off the bus and walked.
Somehow I don't see the areas that voted Conservatives, being the beacon of Republicanism...... Literally chose a Toff to be prime minister...for the last few years...I suspect Mrs Truss will go the way of Mrs May....too liberal...with big boobs and sexy stockings...
You have to know where you live. I live next door to a pub that you'd probably be glassed if you disrespected the Queen...not sure if they like Charles but I wouldn't chance it in there. I went round for a bit of birthday cake and they had hidden the knives to slice the cake with. lol! Keep your head down."
I am soooo confused to what your point is here?. Your very all over the place.
Can you please please explain in simple layman's terms. Please xx |
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I am soooo confused to what your point is here?. Your very all over the place.
Can you please please explain in simple layman's terms. Please xx
Apologies. I have a neurodivergent brain so it will seem all over the place to neurotypical people.
London is the most tolerant and if you don't live in London, keep your head down with non-traditional, non-British and non-conformist views.
I live in London but my pub is very traditionalist and you will get physically attacked for disrespecting Queen Elizabeth II in there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am soooo confused to what your point is here?. Your very all over the place.
Can you please please explain in simple layman's terms. Please xx
Apologies. I have a neurodivergent brain so it will seem all over the place to neurotypical people.
London is the most tolerant and if you don't live in London, keep your head down with non-traditional, non-British and non-conformist views.
I live in London but my pub is very traditionalist and you will get physically attacked for disrespecting Queen Elizabeth II in there."
So your claiming you have a more neurodivergent brain than my neurotypical brain???
Is this correct???..
With that statement . You are claiming my brain is performing the way society expects it??? Is that correct??
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By *otdave75Man
over a year ago
Chandlers Ford |
The death of the Queen has mobilised an army of people who haven't thought about her for years ……….
This is exactly why there is such an outpouring of emotions, she has been the one solid constant in a shitty world offering stability and a rock. And she has done a huge amount for global politics. I was thinking like you a few days ago, but the more you think and delve into the woman…….. you realise how amazing she was |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am soooo confused to what your point is here?. Your very all over the place.
Can you please please explain in simple layman's terms. Please xx
Apologies. I have a neurodivergent brain so it will seem all over the place to neurotypical people.
London is the most tolerant and if you don't live in London, keep your head down with non-traditional, non-British and non-conformist views.
I live in London but my pub is very traditionalist and you will get physically attacked for disrespecting Queen Elizabeth II in there.
So your claiming you have a more neurodivergent brain than my neurotypical brain???
Is this correct???..
With that statement . You are claiming my brain is performing the way society expects it??? Is that correct??
"
It's autism vs non autism, in a very simple nut shell.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Surely it's only obvious because royalists will be the most upset? Republicans will be quieter about it? So noise isn't the best indicator. You're probably not an outlier. But the Queen was a good person who displayed huge commitment to Britain and did a lot for our country. So at a human level it is sad. |
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But I'll be glad when it's over and I can enjoy free speech again 