FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Losing the will.
Losing the will.
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By *ruz41 OP Man
over a year ago
Cheshire |
I have been on here for a few months with my wife’s full consent. She is not sexually active whatsoever in any shape or form and I am dying. I’m not having any luck on here with meeting any FWB let alone any prior correspondence to get to the stage. do I just go to a knocking shop to get it out of my system or do I just stay a wanker for the rest of my life?
This seems like a cry for help, I suppose it is really. Any advice  |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
In fairness, there's quite a few threads full of advice on how to make the most of Fab.
They generally boil down to:
1, it takes time,
2, keep on trying,
3, make the most of your profile,
4, go to clubs and events to make friends and meet people,
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Honest answer : if it’s just a knee trembler you’re after, the ‘professional’ route might just be the answer. Cost the same as a social night out and a hotel room with a Fabster (probably) and you’ll get the job done!
Just choose someone who’s doing it through choice (obviously!)
Hey, you probably won’t get the same level of connection / attraction but it’ll empty the tanks.
As a 20 something first moving up to London knowing nobody and lonely it’s a route I took a few times to keep me sane!  |
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It’s only 5 weeks since your last meet. How often did you expect to be having meets?
Clubs, organised socials and the likes will help.
Also worth looking at your profile and seeing if anything jumps out that might not be helping. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
It doesn’t rain fanny unfortunately. You should try as many means to get laid as is open to you, thereby giving you more chances of getting laid.
That’s my concise advice. Albeit, not helpful. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe try a traditional dating app also? Pof, bumble, tinder… they work and there many ladies who are open minded enough to have a relationship especially when you have your wife’s permission…
Good luck! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Are you actually dying, or being melodramatic?
Because I'm not sure if I can tread that line delicately enough without knowing for sure.
Like, saying take your time, it's nothing you can rush, a little wait won't kill you... could go down like a lead balloon. |
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"Maybe try a traditional dating app also? Pof, bumble, tinder… they work and there many ladies who are open minded enough to have a relationship especially when you have your wife’s permission…
Good luck!"
I was thinking more seeking arrangements and websites specifically for people who want to have affairs. |
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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago
Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’ |
Op, if I were you I'd go to a club!
I think you might have more fun & more possible connections. After all a faint heart never won a fair maiden (and all that bollocks.)
I think it would be right up your alley way (ahem), so to speak.  |
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Block all the ones that have rejected your messages...1 it's cathartic..2 it saves you making the same mistake trying to contact them again ...and you won't have to see their exploits plastered all over the updates  |
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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago
Welling |
"I have been on here for a few months with my wife’s full consent. She is not sexually active whatsoever in any shape or form and I am dying. I’m not having any luck on here with meeting any FWB let alone any prior correspondence to get to the stage. do I just go to a knocking shop to get it out of my system or do I just stay a wanker for the rest of my life?
This seems like a cry for help, I suppose it is really. Any advice "
OP, you have got a meet within a month of joining and only one pic. You are doing better then 99% of single guys here.
If you want more - go to the club. You can event try to go there with your wife for new social experience not for sex. Who knows what comes of it. |
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"I have been on here for a few months with my wife’s full consent. She is not sexually active whatsoever in any shape or form and I am dying. I’m not having any luck on here with meeting any FWB let alone any prior correspondence to get to the stage. do I just go to a knocking shop to get it out of my system or do I just stay a wanker for the rest of my life?
This seems like a cry for help, I suppose it is really. Any advice "
Reasons why you would not be my top choice of FWB, A reflection of my weirdness...there is nothing wrong with you.
1.You live in Middlewich which I had to google because it sounded a bit like somewhere in the Harry Potter/Game of Thrones/Narnia universe. So my brain says "oh you live in the middle of nowhere." Be strategic in the women you approach and do some meets in Stafford, Stoke on Trent, Chester, Liverpool and Manchester. If I wanted a quickie in London I could have one in 15 minutes that's due to the sheer size of the place. Outside of the big cities you are going to have to work a lot harder and it is a numbers game.
2. In addition to living in the middle of no-wich, You can't' travel more that 35-45 miles away... here I am travelling 4000 miles tomorrow for a threesome which may or may not happen. At least I get a holiday and some duty-free out of it...and cheap rum.
3. You don't have a lot of free time and you can't accommodate. Personally, I need a fair amount of free time to connect with a person. Out of sight means out of mind for me. I'm also squeamish about letting people into my flat so people have to be ok with going to a hotel. Don't automatically assume that you can go to someone's home when they can't come to yours.
4. Being my lovely neurodivergent, technophobe self...It takes ages for me to get my head around phone calls and the cam. I prefer to write messages and then meet socially ASAP.
5. You are a smoker and I'm trying to live until 80 and I have other conditions that can kill me so I'd rather not add smoking to the list.
6. As a former wife, I don't play with husbands without the express and explicit permission from the wife, woman to woman or in the case of bi-men maaried to men, without their husband's express and explicit permission. Just my preference to avoid.....unpleasant.....entanglements. yes I'm referencing Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith. Please say they are ok with it and then something unexpected happens and tears around.
Finding what you want is going to take a long time because you don't have a lot of options and you don't have a lot of free time. By comparison, I have no spouse/life partner, I live in London where I could walk into any bar/pub and pull someone and I work part-time/flexibly so I have enough time to rotate 3 lovers every week...if that's what I wanted. |
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"You met someone a month ago?
It was a friend of mine that Introduce me to FAB and she was the one that verified me and I have obviously met her being a friend "
What's her reason for not being your FWB? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tinder might be a quicker route that doesn't involve using a sex worker.
It can take time here, then again you can be lucky.
Obviously the wife giving full consent is a tactic not so genuine people have used in the past, so without doubting your honesty it can still be a red flag for some.
I'd also say throw up a few more public pics that never hurts |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You met someone a month ago?
It was a friend of mine that Introduce me to FAB and she was the one that verified me and I have obviously met her being a friend
What's her reason for not being your FWB?"
Cause on or both of them don't want to I'd imagine |
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"You met someone a month ago?
It was a friend of mine that Introduce me to FAB and she was the one that verified me and I have obviously met her being a friend
What's her reason for not being your FWB?
Cause on or both of them don't want to I'd imagine "
Oh I forgot people have that "type" thing. My FWB lives 4000 miles away and he told me that he doesn't like "dead starfish" sex and right now I feel like a dead starfish....unsexy/unhorny. |
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"Try the forums also. We’re all secretly shagging on here.
Whaaaaaattt?? No one told me!!
Shagging my vibrator for half an orgasm..once a week. If that's what he means. 
That’s not what I meant  "
Noted...that's been my current sex life since about March...I think it coincided with the therapist making me find out about my ASD traits. Sexy and autism don't go together in my head....sigh work in progress... |
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"Tinder might be a quicker route that doesn't involve using a sex worker.
It can take time here, then again you can be lucky.
Obviously the wife giving full consent is a tactic not so genuine people have used in the past, so without doubting your honesty it can still be a red flag for some.
I'd also say throw up a few more public pics that never hurts "
I've had more dates on Tinder than anywhere else but again I'm not attached to anyone/anything.
Do men have any luck on the "meet now" pages in your area? I haven't tried that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Try the forums also. We’re all secretly shagging on here.
Whaaaaaattt?? No one told me!!
Shagging my vibrator for half an orgasm..once a week. If that's what he means.
That’s not what I meant
Noted...that's been my current sex life since about March...I think it coincided with the therapist making me find out about my ASD traits. Sexy and autism don't go together in my head....sigh work in progress..."
It’s a work in progress for sure! But they do!
You’ll get there  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Try the forums also. We’re all secretly shagging on here.
Whaaaaaattt?? No one told me!!
Shagging my vibrator for half an orgasm..once a week. If that's what he means.
That’s not what I meant
Noted...that's been my current sex life since about March...I think it coincided with the therapist making me find out about my ASD traits. Sexy and autism don't go together in my head....sigh work in progress...
It’s a work in progress for sure! But they do!
You’ll get there "
Try the forums, we’re all shagging on here. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Are you actually dying, or being melodramatic?
Because I'm not sure if I can tread that line delicately enough without knowing for sure.
Like, saying take your time, it's nothing you can rush, a little wait won't kill you... could go down like a lead balloon. "
I'm suspecting it's a play on words rather than a literal fact, given the subsequent 'shall I remain a walker for the rest of my life?' question.
OP - here's my 2p.
You get zero bonus points and mo free passes for being a married guy with permission as opposed to just another single guy so what did you really expect when you signed up in terms of how frequently you'd be getting your dick wet?
If a female friend introduced you to the site as you say, then surely she explained how things work and that it's not just a question of flopping your knob out, waving it across the Internet and sitting back whilst a stampede of sexually frustrated women rush in your direction like a herd of majestic wildebeest sweeping across the plain?
Maybe try and investigate the root cause of the issues at home because in all honesty that may well be a far easier solution than seeking no strings jollies on here. It's tough enough for single guys. Being married, even with alleged permission, is going to make this a lot harder for you from the outset.
A |
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"Try the forums also. We’re all secretly shagging on here.
Whaaaaaattt?? No one told me!!
Shagging my vibrator for half an orgasm..once a week. If that's what he means.
That’s not what I meant
Noted...that's been my current sex life since about March...I think it coincided with the therapist making me find out about my ASD traits. Sexy and autism don't go together in my head....sigh work in progress...
It’s a work in progress for sure! But they do!
You’ll get there "
Maybe in a decade. Lol! |
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"I have been on here for a few months with my wife’s full consent. She is not sexually active whatsoever in any shape or form and I am dying. I’m not having any luck on here with meeting any FWB let alone any prior correspondence to get to the stage. do I just go to a knocking shop to get it out of my system or do I just stay a wanker for the rest of my life?
This seems like a cry for help, I suppose it is really. Any advice "
The mistake youve made is telling people youre married, and putting it in your profile. Yes i know its with the wife's consent but youve still cut off a large segment of the female market in here right off the bat.
Much better of saying youre single and only do hotels.
If i were you i would take that bit out of your profile and ler this thread die a quick death.
Then start again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Try the forums also. We’re all secretly shagging on here.
Whaaaaaattt?? No one told me!!
Shagging my vibrator for half an orgasm..once a week. If that's what he means.
That’s not what I meant
Noted...that's been my current sex life since about March...I think it coincided with the therapist making me find out about my ASD traits. Sexy and autism don't go together in my head....sigh work in progress...
It’s a work in progress for sure! But they do!
You’ll get there
Maybe in a decade. Lol!"
Everyday you get closer to my minimum age limits though. So that’s good |
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