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You can't handle the truth !
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So many people say they prefer others to be honest.. what do they mean by that ? Why do so many become defensive / reactionary when they don't get the response they thought they were going to get? What's more, why can't they listen to the truth of others and accept it with a bit of grace and see it for what it is.
Why ask and then explode ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People like this are always the ‘I love receiving feedback’ people 
Anyway, Granny, hmu! (I know you hate ‘hmu’) I can take whatever you’ve got to give me.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’re not all like that .
There are a few good men on here.
A very mancentric response  I did say people.......... "
Yeh but there was no movie called ‘a few good people’ and the comedic genius of my post would be lo……….ah never mind  |
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"We’re not all like that .
There are a few good men on here.
A very mancentric response I did say people.......... "
I have a feeling the film reference has gone over some people's heads here... you can't handle the truth... a few good men...? Come on people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’re not all like that .
There are a few good men on here.
A very mancentric response I did say people..........
Not all men
That phrase is dated now and not used by the pengiest of pengs."
You were doing so well.
Sigh.
Back to disappointing me I see. |
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Agreed. Kindness can be lacking from some here. Also had people judge me when they know nothing about me at all. Would be nice if all respected each other. It does not cost you anything and if someone not for you you don’t have to be rude which often seems to happen. All have fun and respect |
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"We’re not all like that .
There are a few good men on here.
A very mancentric response I did say people..........
Yeh but there was no movie called ‘a few good people’ and the comedic genius of my post would be lo……….ah never mind "
Ah Comedy ! Arf ......... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think its how the "truth" is often delivered.
Winson
Would you like a 't' Winston.
I agree to a degree. Tact is always the best route but even then people still don't like it."
Sage advice from my grandfather; Diplomacy will get you out of what tact would have kept you out of.
The written word doesn't hear tone, pitch, sincerity. The written word can't see body language.
The written word can only be interpreted, usually by the person who's fragile anyway.
Winston |
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"We’re not all like that .
There are a few good men on here.
A very mancentric response I did say people..........
Not all men
That phrase is dated now and not used by the pengiest of pengs.
You were doing so well.
Sigh.
Back to disappointing me I see. "
I can do many things but I never disappoint.
Dithappointment comth from within glathhopppaaaaa .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So many people say they prefer others to be honest.. what do they mean by that ? Why do so many become defensive / reactionary when they don't get the response they thought they were going to get? What's more, why can't they listen to the truth of others and accept it with a bit of grace and see it for what it is.
Why ask and then explode ? "
Afew. Good. Men. |
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"We’re not all like that .
There are a few good men on here.
A very mancentric response I did say people..........
Yeh but there was no movie called ‘a few good people’ and the comedic genius of my post would be lo……….ah never mind "
ffs! ffs! I just got it ......  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’re not all like that .
There are a few good men on here.
A very mancentric response I did say people..........
Not all men
That phrase is dated now and not used by the pengiest of pengs.
You were doing so well.
Sigh.
Back to disappointing me I see.
I can do many things but I never disappoint.
Dithappointment comth from within glathhopppaaaaa .... "
This response…
Disappointed but not surprised |
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"Agreed. Kindness can be lacking from some here. Also had people judge me when they know nothing about me at all. Would be nice if all respected each other. It does not cost you anything and if someone not for you you don’t have to be rude which often seems to happen. All have fun and respect "
What a lovely response.
I meant the big widey world outside and people in general and about people not being able to stomach the truth they asked for .... not so much rudeness or bad manners .... which I never asked about at all .... but still....... A wonderful response thank you. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most of the time people are actually looking for support and reassurance. They don't want solutions to their problems, they just want someone to say "damn, that sucks". |
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"We’re not all like that .
There are a few good men on here.
A very mancentric response I did say people..........
Not all men
That phrase is dated now and not used by the pengiest of pengs.
You were doing so well.
Sigh.
Back to disappointing me I see.
I can do many things but I never disappoint.
Dithappointment comth from within glathhopppaaaaa ....
This response…
Disappointed but not surprised"
Ah ..... I'm currently deep in thought about why that response would disappoint. Hmmmmm I may be gone some time  Unless you elucidate a little. |
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"Most of the time people are actually looking for support and reassurance. They don't want solutions to their problems, they just want someone to say "damn, that sucks". "
Yes ! That is so correct. Some understanding and empathy. |
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Depends if it’s actually the truth or if someone is forcing their opinion on me and then saying ‘I tell it like it is’
I don’t want to always here the truth. For example, getting dumped. Please do not critique me in anyway. I am happy to go about my day thinking I have no known flaws. Please tell me you’re secretly a spy and have to move away for my protection. I will be fine being lied to. |
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Social media, sites like this.
Truth.....best not ask for a truthful answer if its really flattery you're looking for.
We met a couple in real life and the husband kept asking Paul..."what do you think Paul, isn't (wife's name) sexy, wouldn't think she was in her 50's."
So how do you answer that one.
With diplomacy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Social media, sites like this.
Truth.....best not ask for a truthful answer if its really flattery you're looking for.
We met a couple in real life and the husband kept asking Paul..."what do you think Paul, isn't (wife's name) sexy, wouldn't think she was in her 50's."
So how do you answer that one.
With diplomacy. "
Brutal honesty. |
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"I think its how the "truth" is often delivered.
Winson
Would you like a 't' Winston.
I agree to a degree. Tact is always the best route but even then people still don't like it.
Sage advice from my grandfather; Diplomacy will get you out of what tact would have kept you out of.
The written word doesn't hear tone, pitch, sincerity. The written word can't see body language.
The written word can only be interpreted, usually by the person who's fragile anyway.
Winston "
100% agree....
I mean hearing the responses of others too. Not just reading them. |
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"Social media, sites like this.
Truth.....best not ask for a truthful answer if its really flattery you're looking for.
We met a couple in real life and the husband kept asking Paul..."what do you think Paul, isn't (wife's name) sexy, wouldn't think she was in her 50's."
So how do you answer that one.
With diplomacy. "
Please! I have that problem with my friends cat ....... She goes on and on about how handsome he is and then she asks me to affirm..... and fuck me but I hate that mangey cat. |
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"Agreed. Kindness can be lacking from some here. Also had people judge me when they know nothing about me at all. Would be nice if all respected each other. It does not cost you anything and if someone not for you you don’t have to be rude which often seems to happen. All have fun and respect
What a lovely response.
I meant the big widey world outside and people in general and about people not being able to stomach the truth they asked for .... not so much rudeness or bad manners .... which I never asked about at all .... but still....... A wonderful response thank you. x "
A pleasure. Applies on here and anywhere for me. Thank goodness there are lovely people like you xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most of the time people are actually looking for support and reassurance. They don't want solutions to their problems, they just want someone to say "damn, that sucks". "
I actually say that to people where i don't think i can make a difference
. Sometimes it just lets then take a breath |
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"Depends if it’s actually the truth or if someone is forcing their opinion on me and then saying ‘I tell it like it is’
I don’t want to always here the truth. For example, getting dumped. Please do not critique me in anyway. I am happy to go about my day thinking I have no known flaws. Please tell me you’re secretly a spy and have to move away for my protection. I will be fine being lied to. "
That is so interesting Jamie. Sometimes lies are kind. |
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"Agreed. Kindness can be lacking from some here. Also had people judge me when they know nothing about me at all. Would be nice if all respected each other. It does not cost you anything and if someone not for you you don’t have to be rude which often seems to happen. All have fun and respect
What a lovely response.
I meant the big widey world outside and people in general and about people not being able to stomach the truth they asked for .... not so much rudeness or bad manners .... which I never asked about at all .... but still....... A wonderful response thank you. x
A pleasure. Applies on here and anywhere for me. Thank goodness there are lovely people like you xxx"
Oh please  such truths bring a flush to my cheeks Mr. Darcy! |
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"Agreed. Kindness can be lacking from some here. Also had people judge me when they know nothing about me at all. Would be nice if all respected each other. It does not cost you anything and if someone not for you you don’t have to be rude which often seems to happen. All have fun and respect
What a lovely response.
I meant the big widey world outside and people in general and about people not being able to stomach the truth they asked for .... not so much rudeness or bad manners .... which I never asked about at all .... but still....... A wonderful response thank you. x
A pleasure. Applies on here and anywhere for me. Thank goodness there are lovely people like you xxx
Oh please such truths bring a flush to my cheeks Mr. Darcy!"
Of course if flatter might get to know someone. Lol. Sorry my bad side  |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"Most of the time people are actually looking for support and reassurance. They don't want solutions to their problems, they just want someone to say "damn, that sucks". "
I am bad at trying to solve peoples problems, and have to sometimes ask them if they just wanted to vent….  |
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"People like this are always the ‘I love receiving feedback’ people
Anyway, Granny, hmu! (I know you hate ‘hmu’) I can take whatever you’ve got to give me. "
I missed this! You are so right. It is often the 'give me feedback' people...... |
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"We’re not all like that .
There are a few good men on here.
A very mancentric response I did say people..........
I have a feeling the film reference has gone over some people's heads here... you can't handle the truth... a few good men...? Come on people "
Definitely went over mine ! Poor bloke who posted it ......... It hurts when your best work goes unnoticed. Not that i'd know how that feels of course. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I'd like the truth to a certain degree. Try and take myself away from a reactionary response and actually listen to what they're saying. If I've asked for it I've kind of mentally geared myself up for the worst case scenario through overthinking.
I don't like being lied to for the most part but some little things, I'm fine with. I guess I'd only ask people who I'm close to to be truthful with me and when I'm that close, they probably know how I feel. Will gentle lie if it's better for me. 
As I've typed this I'm realising I really do waffle and overthink. What a lethal combination of narcissism and self indulgent twuntery. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think its how the "truth" is often delivered.
Winson"
Definitely this. Being honest doesn't mean you have to be rude or deliver the "truth" in a brutal way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People like this are always the ‘I love receiving feedback’ people
Anyway, Granny, hmu! (I know you hate ‘hmu’) I can take whatever you’ve got to give me.
I missed this! You are so right. It is often the 'give me feedback' people...... "
They really just want an ego boost |
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"People like this are always the ‘I love receiving feedback’ people
Anyway, Granny, hmu! (I know you hate ‘hmu’) I can take whatever you’ve got to give me.
I missed this! You are so right. It is often the 'give me feedback' people......
They really just want an ego boost "
You are so handsome, erudite and wise. |
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"I don't even know what 'the truth' is. My idea of it might not be the same as someone else's. "
So shouldn't the asker be prepared for this ?
In agreement with what you are saying there is no absolute truth. Not in my world. Even facts change over time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"People like this are always the ‘I love receiving feedback’ people
Anyway, Granny, hmu! (I know you hate ‘hmu’) I can take whatever you’ve got to give me.
I missed this! You are so right. It is often the 'give me feedback' people......
They really just want an ego boost
You are so handsome, erudite and wise. "
Good one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My Q was more about people who can't hear the thoughts and ideas of others , even after asking for them. They can't hear and digest .... they can only feign harm. "
You can’t have conversations with these people also because they make themselves the victims of an ‘attack’ from you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Often it's "you can't handle MY truth". Which means we ahvw different versions / oervwptio w of the truth.
And often the(ir) truth is delivered with an intent to harm.
I can pass someone a knife without harming them. And they can handle that knife without harming theselves.
Yet me stabbing them is wrapped up "You can't handle the knife" |
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"I don't even know what 'the truth' is. My idea of it might not be the same as someone else's.
So shouldn't the asker be prepared for this ?
In agreement with what you are saying there is no absolute truth. Not in my world. Even facts change over time. "
I think it depends on their motive for asking the question.
Using fab fora as an example I daily observe questions being asked for which the asker is wholly unprepared for the varying versions of truth. I think this is because they do not want answers, they want validation |
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"Often it's "you can't handle MY truth". Which means we ahvw different versions / oervwptio w of the truth.
And often the(ir) truth is delivered with an intent to harm.
I can pass someone a knife without harming them. And they can handle that knife without harming theselves.
Yet me stabbing them is wrapped up "You can't handle the knife""
The pen is mightier than the sword. I prefer the pen can be mightier than the sword.
Take away the intent to harm as that's an extra that clouds any responses to the question as does people trying to ascribe the title 'rude' to the person who responded when asked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think its how the "truth" is often delivered.
Winson"
This.
I had to have a very uncomfortable, difficult talk with someone this morning that I have been avoiding for over 20yrs. I kept what I had to say to a minimum, avoided any hyperbole and only said what I knew to be 100% the truth.
Pretty sure they felt like shit afterwards.
I felt like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My Q was more about people who can't hear the thoughts and ideas of others , even after asking for them. They can't hear and digest .... they can only feign harm. "
That is where the looking glass is very important... But some people will never achieve that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But I’m just being honest!
That’s right, you are just being honest.
You are not being compassionate, considerate, thoughtful, loving, polite, or even pleasant.
Just honest.
There are times when someone has to deliver an unpleasant truth. There may even be times when that person is the “just being honest” fanatic.
So much more often, unvarnished honesty is unnecessary, unkind, and unwarranted; a little thought put into the delivery of the message would go a long way towards making it valuable and constructive, rather than a shattering blow.
Most people who insist on being “brutally honest” enjoy the brutality more than the honesty.
Winston |
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"I don't even know what 'the truth' is. My idea of it might not be the same as someone else's.
So shouldn't the asker be prepared for this ?
In agreement with what you are saying there is no absolute truth. Not in my world. Even facts change over time.
I think it depends on their motive for asking the question.
Using fab fora as an example I daily observe questions being asked for which the asker is wholly unprepared for the varying versions of truth. I think this is because they do not want answers, they want validation "
Absolutely.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think its how the "truth" is often delivered.
Winson
This.
I had to have a very uncomfortable, difficult talk with someone this morning that I have been avoiding for over 20yrs. I kept what I had to say to a minimum, avoided any hyperbole and only said what I knew to be 100% the truth.
Pretty sure they felt like shit afterwards.
I felt like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders."
And sometimes you can’t be responsible for the hurt someone feels at hearing the truth. Sometimes we have to do what we have to to help us heal. Glad you had that conversation. I’ve got to have one of those with my Dad and I’ve been putting it off for years. |
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"But I’m just being honest!
That’s right, you are just being honest.
You are not being compassionate, considerate, thoughtful, loving, polite, or even pleasant.
Just honest.
There are times when someone has to deliver an unpleasant truth. There may even be times when that person is the “just being honest” fanatic.
So much more often, unvarnished honesty is unnecessary, unkind, and unwarranted; a little thought put into the delivery of the message would go a long way towards making it valuable and constructive, rather than a shattering blow.
Most people who insist on being “brutally honest” enjoy the brutality more than the honesty.
Winston "
I wouldn't disagree but once again this respsonse necessitates looking to the person who answered and blaming them for the askers response.
There are very many 'what if's' ....
Let's agree that the person who answers has tact, diplomacy, a good heart, the askers best interests at heart.... and it not vengeful. |
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"I think its how the "truth" is often delivered.
Winson
This.
I had to have a very uncomfortable, difficult talk with someone this morning that I have been avoiding for over 20yrs. I kept what I had to say to a minimum, avoided any hyperbole and only said what I knew to be 100% the truth.
Pretty sure they felt like shit afterwards.
I felt like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
And sometimes you can’t be responsible for the hurt someone feels at hearing the truth. Sometimes we have to do what we have to to help us heal. Glad you had that conversation. I’ve got to have one of those with my Dad and I’ve been putting it off for years. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Often it's "you can't handle MY truth". Which means we ahvw different versions / oervwptio w of the truth.
And often the(ir) truth is delivered with an intent to harm.
I can pass someone a knife without harming them. And they can handle that knife without harming theselves.
Yet me stabbing them is wrapped up "You can't handle the knife"
The pen is mightier than the sword. I prefer the pen can be mightier than the sword.
Take away the intent to harm as that's an extra that clouds any responses to the question as does people trying to ascribe the title 'rude' to the person who responded when asked. "
in my experience, the phrase in question usually comes hand in hand with the intent. Maybe that's a load of confirmation bias in my part.
That said, for sure, some people will find it hard to hear others views of the truth. The rawer the emotion of the person receiving a different truth, the harder it will sting. |
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By *ister CMan
over a year ago
liverpool |
"So many people say they prefer others to be honest.. what do they mean by that ? Why do so many become defensive / reactionary when they don't get the response they thought they were going to get? What's more, why can't they listen to the truth of others and accept it with a bit of grace and see it for what it is.
Why ask and then explode ? "
I like truth, irrespective ,m truth is incredibly hard and brutal thing to face at times.
But the 'accept the truth of others'... what does that mean? |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"But I’m just being honest!
That’s right, you are just being honest.
You are not being compassionate, considerate, thoughtful, loving, polite, or even pleasant.
Just honest.
There are times when someone has to deliver an unpleasant truth. There may even be times when that person is the “just being honest” fanatic.
So much more often, unvarnished honesty is unnecessary, unkind, and unwarranted; a little thought put into the delivery of the message would go a long way towards making it valuable and constructive, rather than a shattering blow.
Most people who insist on being “brutally honest” enjoy the brutality more than the honesty.
Winston
I wouldn't disagree but once again this respsonse necessitates looking to the person who answered and blaming them for the askers response.
There are very many 'what if's' ....
Let's agree that the person who answers has tact, diplomacy, a good heart, the askers best interests at heart.... and it not vengeful. "
I guess people make themselves vulnerable by asking for truth. Especially on a site like this, the fora is relatively anonymous and because it's a "sex" site it adds an extra element of vulnerability. People want to be liked don't they? And anything that suggests other than being adored can cut deep. |
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"So many people say they prefer others to be honest.. what do they mean by that ? Why do so many become defensive / reactionary when they don't get the response they thought they were going to get? What's more, why can't they listen to the truth of others and accept it with a bit of grace and see it for what it is.
Why ask and then explode ?
I like truth, irrespective ,m truth is incredibly hard and brutal thing to face at times.
But the 'accept the truth of others'... what does that mean? "
Good question! Seems I wasn't clear. By that I don't mean that we have to agree with what the other says....... I meant it to mean ..... Listen with good grace - without getting angry, over emotional - with being defensive. Take some time to analyse.
Let's face it..... If they are wrong we still hold our own ideas and what they say is not important.
If they are right - then we benefit.
There should be no 'fight'. |
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"But I’m just being honest!
That’s right, you are just being honest.
You are not being compassionate, considerate, thoughtful, loving, polite, or even pleasant.
Just honest.
There are times when someone has to deliver an unpleasant truth. There may even be times when that person is the “just being honest” fanatic.
So much more often, unvarnished honesty is unnecessary, unkind, and unwarranted; a little thought put into the delivery of the message would go a long way towards making it valuable and constructive, rather than a shattering blow.
Most people who insist on being “brutally honest” enjoy the brutality more than the honesty.
Winston
I wouldn't disagree but once again this respsonse necessitates looking to the person who answered and blaming them for the askers response.
There are very many 'what if's' ....
Let's agree that the person who answers has tact, diplomacy, a good heart, the askers best interests at heart.... and it not vengeful.
I guess people make themselves vulnerable by asking for truth. Especially on a site like this, the fora is relatively anonymous and because it's a "sex" site it adds an extra element of vulnerability. People want to be liked don't they? And anything that suggests other than being adored can cut deep."
I see it that way too. In a way it's brave to allow your vulnerability to be seen. For me though , people need to open up in appropriate setting.
Who goes to the supermarket and asks total strangers for feedback on how they look ? |
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By *ister CMan
over a year ago
liverpool |
"So many people say they prefer others to be honest.. what do they mean by that ? Why do so many become defensive / reactionary when they don't get the response they thought they were going to get? What's more, why can't they listen to the truth of others and accept it with a bit of grace and see it for what it is.
Why ask and then explode ?
I like truth, irrespective ,m truth is incredibly hard and brutal thing to face at times.
But the 'accept the truth of others'... what does that mean?
Good question! Seems I wasn't clear. By that I don't mean that we have to agree with what the other says....... I meant it to mean ..... Listen with good grace - without getting angry, over emotional - with being defensive. Take some time to analyse.
Let's face it..... If they are wrong we still hold our own ideas and what they say is not important.
If they are right - then we benefit.
There should be no 'fight'. "
That answer it... fornme truth to some is ideology and I have issues with their 'truth'... but yes I hope based on my network of friends and how often I'm approached for a view that I can do that... hopefully  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've never found that most people prefer the truth, quite the opposite. Most prefer a kiss on the arse to being slapped in the kisser with a raw haddock. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I guess people make themselves vulnerable by asking for truth. Especially on a site like this, the fora is relatively anonymous and because it's a "sex" site it adds an extra element of vulnerability. People want to be liked don't they? And anything that suggests other than being adored can cut deep.
I see it that way too. In a way it's brave to allow your vulnerability to be seen. For me though , people need to open up in appropriate setting.
Who goes to the supermarket and asks total strangers for feedback on how they look ? "
I think being openly vulnerable is a beautiful thing. I've been doing that this afternoon and don't get me wrong, it's kind of scary because you might be rejected for being you. All of you. But taking that chance is lovely.
And you're true about the supermarker but maybe the relative anonymity affords them the chance to ask something they wouldn't normally. It can be hard for some to know what's appropriate. Or maybe they don't care.
I don't agree with meeting asked for honesty with anger, hurt etc on the fora - that's on the assumption it's not done hurtfully. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a wise woman once said, "do you want the truth or something beautiful"
She also said "for I am happy to deceive you "
Does it depend on why or what your asking, is the question in good faith?
Does it depend on who's replying, are they emotionally invested in you?
I can only answer for myself, if I've asked a question I take the answers away and consider them. A knee jerk response to anything isn't often constructive.
Winston
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my experience, a lot of people blur the fine line between honesty and being a colossal dick under the guise of “being honest”
I’d personally want someone to be honest with me. "
I love you since day 1 x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's taken me a long time to realise that our minds are all very different. What send obvious to us isn't to others. What we think has to be true others will disagree with. Unfortunately, lots of us are good at spotting when others are promoting opinion as fact and utterly oblivious to when we're doing it.
An inability to see things outside of our own narrow viewpoint makes haveing any kind of meaningful discussion all but impossible and very painful.
Mr |
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"It's taken me a long time to realise that our minds are all very different. What send obvious to us isn't to others. What we think has to be true others will disagree with. Unfortunately, lots of us are good at spotting when others are promoting opinion as fact and utterly oblivious to when we're doing it.
An inability to see things outside of our own narrow viewpoint makes haveing any kind of meaningful discussion all but impossible and very painful.
Mr"
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"This is very interesting debate. A thought but maybe have a social to discuss. Might make change for some to think impact on others who just think gonna fuck all on the site "
Nah ..... I'd go for the sex |
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"This is very interesting debate. A thought but maybe have a social to discuss. Might make change for some to think impact on others who just think gonna fuck all on the site
Nah ..... I'd go for the sex"
Lol like your style xxxx |
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By *ack688Man
over a year ago
abruzzo Italy (and UK) |
"So many people say they prefer others to be honest.. what do they mean by that ? Why do so many become defensive / reactionary when they don't get the response they thought they were going to get? What's more, why can't they listen to the truth of others and accept it with a bit of grace and see it for what it is.
Why ask and then explode ? "
People say they want the truth, but what they really want is to hear opinions that back up their own, and to be told that that’s the truth |
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"What people call “truth” and get upset about is usually just opinion.
That's what I was thinking. Who's truth is it? "
Sometimes people view the world differently but there is no denying the importance of objectivity , reason and logic when trying to present a balanced , believable point of view that is not being stretched beyond all boundaries of credibility.
Quite often discussions are reduced to the level of 'I like apple pie!' , 'Well I don't'
Or even worse....
Apple pie contains apples.
No it doesn't it contains oranges well that's my opinion anyway and i'm entitled to my opinion. |
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"Social media, sites like this.
Truth.....best not ask for a truthful answer if its really flattery you're looking for.
We met a couple in real life and the husband kept asking Paul..."what do you think Paul, isn't (wife's name) sexy, wouldn't think she was in her 50's."
So how do you answer that one.
With diplomacy.
Brutal honesty. "
Brutal honesty, you're having a laugh.
If Paul's reply was something like..
"Yes, she's lovely and as long as she's sexy to you, that's all that matters.
It's obvious she's in her mid 50's and maybe a tad less makeup would help draw less attention to her age as would her dress sense, mutton, lamb and all that"
Think a few tears would be spilt.
No, honestly is never the best policy, it just something we tell our kids. |
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"But I’m just being honest!
That’s right, you are just being honest.
You are not being compassionate, considerate, thoughtful, loving, polite, or even pleasant.
Just honest.
There are times when someone has to deliver an unpleasant truth. There may even be times when that person is the “just being honest” fanatic.
So much more often, unvarnished honesty is unnecessary, unkind, and unwarranted; a little thought put into the delivery of the message would go a long way towards making it valuable and constructive, rather than a shattering blow.
Most people who insist on being “brutally honest” enjoy the brutality more than the honesty.
Winston
I wouldn't disagree but once again this respsonse necessitates looking to the person who answered and blaming them for the askers response.
There are very many 'what if's' ....
Let's agree that the person who answers has tact, diplomacy, a good heart, the askers best interests at heart.... and it not vengeful.
I guess people make themselves vulnerable by asking for truth. Especially on a site like this, the fora is relatively anonymous and because it's a "sex" site it adds an extra element of vulnerability. People want to be liked don't they? And anything that suggests other than being adored can cut deep.
I see it that way too. In a way it's brave to allow your vulnerability to be seen. For me though , people need to open up in appropriate setting.
Who goes to the supermarket and asks total strangers for feedback on how they look ? "
Just been to Tesco.
Asked 3 random fellas the same question.
Do you find me attractive but most of all would you bang me until your fillings shook free.
1 ran away.
1 said "sorry the batteries in my hearing aid are flat"
1 went to the security guard, who asked me to leave but whispered I think you are attractive, well for a woman of your age.
Don't think I'll do that again. ????
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But I’m just being honest!
That’s right, you are just being honest.
You are not being compassionate, considerate, thoughtful, loving, polite, or even pleasant.
Just honest.
There are times when someone has to deliver an unpleasant truth. There may even be times when that person is the “just being honest” fanatic.
So much more often, unvarnished honesty is unnecessary, unkind, and unwarranted; a little thought put into the delivery of the message would go a long way towards making it valuable and constructive, rather than a shattering blow.
Most people who insist on being “brutally honest” enjoy the brutality more than the honesty.
Winston
I wouldn't disagree but once again this respsonse necessitates looking to the person who answered and blaming them for the askers response.
There are very many 'what if's' ....
Let's agree that the person who answers has tact, diplomacy, a good heart, the askers best interests at heart.... and it not vengeful.
I guess people make themselves vulnerable by asking for truth. Especially on a site like this, the fora is relatively anonymous and because it's a "sex" site it adds an extra element of vulnerability. People want to be liked don't they? And anything that suggests other than being adored can cut deep.
I see it that way too. In a way it's brave to allow your vulnerability to be seen. For me though , people need to open up in appropriate setting.
Who goes to the supermarket and asks total strangers for feedback on how they look ?
Just been to Tesco.
Asked 3 random fellas the same question.
Do you find me attractive but most of all would you bang me until your fillings shook free.
1 ran away.
1 said "sorry the batteries in my hearing aid are flat"
1 went to the security guard, who asked me to leave but whispered I think you are attractive, well for a woman of your age.
Don't think I'll do that again. ????
"
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"What people call “truth” and get upset about is usually just opinion. "
1,000,000 % this
People get upset, irritated, frustrated , angry, hurt, offended.....pick your own adjective at your leisure.......by opinions and choices of words.
Not because of 'the truth'.
Facts are facts.
Opinions are just that.
If people can't spot the difference then maybe they need to go back to school and learn the difference.
If you're upset (or any of the other previously mentioned adjectives) about the truth then that's on you.
A |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"So many people say they prefer others to be honest.. what do they mean by that ? Why do so many become defensive / reactionary when they don't get the response they thought they were going to get? What's more, why can't they listen to the truth of others and accept it with a bit of grace and see it for what it is.
Why ask and then explode ? "
I think a lot of people have very little awareness of what they are really like so even a gentle bit of positive feedback is crushing to their view of themselves. I don’t know about guys but I’m guessing most women get told by most men here that they have great blow job skills because for many men having any mouth around their cock is a dream come true. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like blunt and honest people, what I don’t like is when people say they are blunt and honest, but are actually just mean. "
Definitely this. I used to have a friend that would often say I'm just being honest when actually she was just being horrible. Normally when her truth wasn't asked for. |
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